It's time for some more Spongebob remakes! This one of course is based on the episode of the same name. Here we go! Also, sorry if they're a little bit out of character. I'm trying my best to keep their personalities in check while also keeping the humor from the original episode. It can be hard to have both sometimes. Enjoy!
Sonic the Hedgehog belongs to Sega and Sonic Team
Spongebob belongs to Nickelodeon and Viacom
One beautiful afternoon, Amy Rose was sitting inside for mailbox humming her theme song "My Sweet Passion", waiting for her mail delivery.
The mailman walked to Amy's mailbox and just as he was about to put the mail in, Amy burst out of the mailbox.
Amy: HI MAILMAN!
Mailman: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
The mailman runs away, leaving behind some mail.
Amy: Okay, see you tomorrow!
Cream: Hi Ms. Amy!
Amy: Oh, hi Cream! Just getting the mail.
Cream: What did you get?
Amy: Let's see, bills, taxes, all the boring stuff, hey a magazine!
Amy took a look at the magazine, but she was confused.
Amy: Funny. I don't remember subscribing to "Fancy Living Digest".
She opened the magazine and they were amazed.
Both: Whoa!
Amy: Look at all these glossy depictions of a higher standard of living! This guy's so rich! He has a swimming pool in a swimming pool!
Cream: This guy dresses so fancy!
As they were looking, someone swiped the magazine from them.
Sonic: Give me that! Stealing my mail eh? You're obsession over me has gone too far Amy! You really need therapy.
Cream: Mr. Sonic, how do the people in that magazine get all that money?
Sonic: They're entrepreneurs. They sell things to people.
Amy: What kind of things?
Sonic: The trending things. Anything people would wanna buy. Like chili dogs! Now keep your hands off my mail!
He runs off.
Amy: That's it Cream! We gotta become entrepreneurs!
Cream: Great idea! But what are we gonna sell?
Amy: Well, if you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?
Cream: Hmm… there's a lot of things I would want... what do you suggest?
Amy: I don't know. Something real… an item… something you would pay for.
Cream: I got it! My mama got a whole load of chocolate bars from charity. She's not gonna eat all of that, and neither will I. Why don't we sell all of those?
Amy: That's a great idea Cream! No one can resist chocolate! We'll become traveling chocolate bar sales girls.
Amy and Cream walk out of Cream's house with lots of chocolate bars.
Vanilla: Good luck girls! Happy hunting!
Amy: Fancy living, here we come!
Cream: Make way for a couple of enter- uh… however you pronounce it!
The duo walk up to their first house.
Amy: This is it Cream! The first step on our road to living fancy! Just follow my lead.
She gracefully knocks the door and it's answered by Chip (from Sonic Unleashed).
Amy: Good afternoon sir! Could we interest you in some chocolate?
Chip: Chocolate… did you say… chocolate?
Cream: Yes sir! With or without nuts?
Chip: Chocolate!? CHOCOLATE!? CHOOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAATE! CHOOOOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!
CHOOOOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!
Amy and Cream sweatdropped, slowly backed away, and made a run for it as Chip chased after them. Eventually they lost him.
Cream: Geez! You weren't kidding when you said no one could resist chocolate.
The two approached another house.
Amy: Okaaay, That first guy didn't count. This is our REAL first step.
Amy knocked oh the door and it was answered by Jet the Hawk.
Amy: Hey Jet! Haven't seen you since the World Grand Prix.
Cream: Would you like to buy some chocolate?
Jet: Chocolate bars, eh?
Amy: Yes siree! We are chocolate bar sales girls!
Jet: Heh! A couple of mediocre salesgirls if you ask me. That's no way to carry your merchandise!
Cream was shown carrying the chocolate bars in her school backpack.
Jet: No, no, no, no, no! WRONG! You two wanna be GOOD salesgirls right?
Amy and Cream: Oh, most certainly sir!
Jet: Well, heh heh! No self respecting candy bar salesperson would be caught dead without one of these.
He takes out an orange bag with a zipper.
Amy: Wow! What is it?
Jet: It's a candy bar bag ya knucklehead! It's specially designed to cradle each candy bar in velvet-lined comfort. But, I'm wasting my time. You don't need these bags.
Amy and Cream: WE NEED EM! WE NEED EM!
Jet smirks and hands them a bunch of candy bar bags and they pay for them.
Jet: So long girls! Happy hunting!
He turns away with an evil smile.
Jet: Hehehehe! Suckers!
Amy and Cream started signing with glee.
Amy and Cream: Fancy Living, here we come! La la lala laaaaa!
Amy: Let's try next door!
She knocked on the door and oddly it was also answered by Jet.
Jet: Yes?
Amy and Cream: Huh?
Amy: Hey! Didn't you just sell us these candy bar bags next door?
Jet: I… don't recall... But it looks to me like you two have a lot of bags there. You two ladies are too smart to be caught without one of my patented candy bar bag carrying bags!
Jet takes out a bigger red bag with a zipper.
Cream: We'll take 20!
At another house, Rouge answered.
Rouge: Oh, it's YOU two. This better be good because I'm kinda busy here.
Amy: Sorry Rouge, we're just selling chocolate bars. Would you like to buy one?
Rouge: Well, I guess I could use a candy break… Alright I'll take one.
Amy: Alright! One chocolate bar coming up!
Amy took out a candy bar bag carrying bag and opened it up to get a candy bar bag. But when she opened it up she got… another candy bar?
Amy: Huh? *nervous smile* hehehe…
She opened that bag but it had another bag. Every bag she opened just had another one inside, to the point that she was practically digging through them.
Rouge: I don't have time for this!
Rouge angrily stomped back inside. Afterwards, Amy finally got a chocolate bar out.
Amy: Got it! One chocolate bar for Rouge the-
Chip: CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!
Amy: -bat.
Amy and Cream ran away with the chocolate bars as Chip chased them down. They eventually lost him and continued on their way. They decided to take a break and walked into a cafe.
Amy: We're not doing so well Cream. We need a new approach. A new tactic.
Cream: Why don't we try selling them to Mr. Sonic?
Amy: Nah! He wouldn't do it. He's trying to get fancy living too and spending his money wouldn't help. There must be something. Think about this. What was the reason Jet sold us those bags?
Cream: He said we were mediocre. Whatever that means.
Amy: That's it! He made us feel special!
Cream: He did… I'll be right back Ms. Amy! I'm gonna get us more bags!
She ran out but Amy stopped her.
Amy: Cream wait!
Cream stopped in a running position and then turned to Amy.
Amy: I've got a better idea. Why don't we try being nice when selling our chocolate bars. Maybe that'll make them more willing.
Cream: Oh, okay!
Amy and Cream arrived at another house.
Amy: Now remember Cream, flatter the customer. Make them feel good.
Amy rings the doorbell and Miles "Tails" Prower answers.
Tails: Oh hey girls! What's up?
Cream: I love you.
Tails went wide eyes, blushed a little and slammed the door. Making Cream frown.
Amy: I think you laid it a teensy bit thick there buddy. Let me try.
She ringed again though this time Tails only cracked it open a little bit and peeked out looking scared.
Tails: Please… g-go away!
Amy: Hey Tails! Sorry if Cream made you a bit uncomfortable. Um… how are you doing?
Tails felt a little more safe and opened it up fully.
Tails: Oh, I'm fine I guess.
Amy: You wanna buy some chocolate?
Cream: We got him now!
Tails: No thanks. Chocolate has a lot of sugar and can lead to bubbling fat.
Cream looked down and noticed her stomach bubbling.
Cream: Oh, I see what you mean…
Tails hold up a photo of him at age 4 after eating a lot of chocolate.
Tails: As you can see, me and chocolate no longer hang. You can keep that for five bucks.
Cream: I'll take ten!
Later, Amy and Cream were walking down the street as Cream stared at the photos of Tails.
Amy: We haven't even sold ONE chocolate bar. I get the feeling that we're too easily distracted.
Cream: Huh?
Amy: Let's make a pact that we will stay focused on selling at the next house. Let's shake on it!
Cream: What? Oh! Uh… okay. Focused.
Amy: Remember Cream, focus!
She knocked on the door and Silver answered
Silver: Yes?
Amy: Hey there Silver! We're selling chocolate bars!
Before he could respond, Cream walked over to him. Staring deeply into him.
Silver; Uh… why is your friend staring at me?
Cream: Focusing…
Silver backed away into his house as Cream followed him, until he had enough. He used his psychokinesis on Cream.
Silver: It's no use! Take this!
Silver flung Cream towards Amy, making them both fly away.
Amy and Cream: AAAAAHHHHH!
Silver then slammed the door.
Silver: Weirdos…
The two were later seen walking down the street again with Amy wondering.
Amy: I can't understand what we're doing wrong. There's something to this selling game that we're just not getting. Other people do it, I mean look at that!
They looked at a nearby billboard.
Cream: "Eat Chili Dogs. They're delicious!"
Amy: They are most certainly NOT delicious!
Cream: Mr. Sonic likes them.
Amy: Sonic is not everybody Cream. They're so bad for you, yet they sell millions a day.
Cream: Well maybe if they didn't stretch the truth they wouldn't sell as many.
Amy: That's it Cream! We gotta stretch the truth!
Cream: But Ms. Amy, that would be lying. And lying is wrong.
Amy: Not always Cream. Sometimes you can get away with a little white lie. No one will suspect.
Cream: I guess you're right.
Amy: Then let's do it!
Chip: CHOCOLATE!
The two quickly ran away.
The two approached another house.
Amy: Okay, we'll work as a team. I'll get this customer warmed up, and then you come in for the kill.
Cream: The WHAT!?
Amy: You're gonna lie…
Cream: Oh, right.
She knocks on the door and Dr. Eggman answers.
Eggman: What do you little brats want?!
Amy: Why hello, 'Ivo'. *winks at Cream* We're selling Chocolate. Is your mother home?
Eggman: *groans* MOM!
Eggman's mother: What!? What's with all the yelling!?
Eggman's mother came in on a wheel chair. She was so old that she could barely hear, and was nearly blind.
Eggman's mother: You just can't wait for me to die. CAN YOU!?
Eggman: These two pests are selling chocolate!
Eggman's mother: Chocolate?
Eggman: Yeah!
Eggman's mother: What, what are they selling!?
Eggman: I just told you! They're selling chocolate!
Eggman's mother: WHAT!?
Eggman: CHOCOLATE!
Eggman's mother: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
EGGMAN: THEY'RE SELLING CHOCOLATE!
EGGMAN'S MOTHER: THEY'RE SELLING CHOCOLATE!?
EGGMAN: YEAH!
Eggman's mother: Chocolate! I remember the day when they first invented chocolate. Sweet, sweet, chocolate. I always HATED IT!
Amy: Oh! But this chocolate's not for eating. It's for…
Cream: You rub it on your skin, and it makes you live forever!
Eggman: No! No! No! No!
Eggman's mother: Live forever you say? I'll take one!
Eggman face palmed and reluctantly payed and took the chocolate.
Eggman's mother: Come on you lazy Ivo! Start rubbing me with that chocolate!
Eggman: I hate you!
He shut the door.
Amy: Great job Cream! If we keep stretching the truth we'll be fancy living in no time!
Cream: Hooray for lying!
Montage time!
Amy: It'll make your hair grow!
Big: Great! Froggy's trying to grow a beard!
Amy: It'll make you sound smart!
Knuckles: I'll take 20!
Cream: It'll keep your face as beautiful as ever!
Carrotia (from Tails Sky Patrol): Just in Time!
Amy: They'll make you fly!
Cream: You'll fall in love!
Amy: They'll bring world peace!
Cream: You'll walk through walls!
Amy: YOU'LL RULE THE WORLD!
End of montage
Amy and Cream showed up at another door, now covered in casts and bandages to make themselves look injured. Amy rang the doorbell.
Amy and Cream: Tehehehe!
Cream: This is gonna be the best lie yet!
Amy: Yeah! This guy will feel so sorry for us, he'll have to buy all of our chocolates!
The door opened a little but only the person's eyes could be seen.
?: What can I do for you girls?
Amy: Hello sir! Would you like to buy a chocolate bar? We need money for an operation.
The person stepped out to reveal he was also covered in casts and bandages. The girls didn't recognize him.
?: Really? Small world. What's the matter with you two?
Amy: Uh… we have head trauma and internal bleeding.
?: Oh… Some people get all the luck… I was born with glass bones and paper skin… Every morning I break my legs… and every afternoon I break my arms…
As the duo listened, they started to shed tears. Feeling sorry for him.
?: At night… I lie awake in agony… until my heart attacks… put me to sleep…
Soon he started to trip over the stairs.
?: Oh no! Oof! Ah! Oh! Owwwww…
Amy: Quick, Cream! Let's help him!
They quickly carry him back inside.
Amy: Put him down gently.
Cream accidentally drops him after her fingers slip.
?: Owwwww…
Cream: I'm so sorry!
Amy: You poor, poor, man. Is there anything… ANYTHING we can do to help you?!
?: Well… there is one thing… you see, my medical bills are extremely high… but luckily I am able to keep myself alive by selling… chocolate bars…
Amy and Cream paid him money and grabbed whole boxes of chocolate bars and went on their way. The customer watched as they walked away.
?: Such nice girls… It does my heart-
The customer unzipped himself to reveal he was actually Jet in disguise.
Jet: -to con a couple of Class A suckeroonies like those two! AHHAHAHAHAHA!
Amy: Don't get me wrong Cream, it was great to help that guy out, but now there's no one left in town to sell chocolate bars too.
The weight of the boxes was so heavy that she couldn't hold it up anymore and collapsed.
Amy: Let's face it Cream, we're failures.
Cream: I can live with that…
Amy: You know what? Let's just change our names to Why and Bother.
Cream: Agreed Ms. Why.
Little did they know that Chip snuck up behind them.
Chip: CHOOOOOOCLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!
Amy: NO! NO! DON'T HURT US!
Cream: PLEASE! SPARE US!
Chip: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FINALLY! I'VE BEEN TRYING TO CATCH YOU GIRLS ALL DAY! NOW THAT I'VE GOT YOU RIGHT WHERE I WANT YOU... I'd like to buy all your chocolates.
Amy and Cream just stood there. Not only shocked that he suddenly went back to normal, but also shocked that they've been going through all that stress for NOTHING! Their ticket to fancy living was chasing after them all along. With this realization, all of their chocolate bars came out of their bags and boxes. Amy and Cream melted into piles of goo. Amy had nothing else to say except for this.
Amy: Thank you for your patronage…
After selling all of their chocolate to Chip, Cream was rolling a wheelbarrow of money.
Cream: Are we living the fancy life yet Ms. Amy?
Amy popped out of the stack.
Amy: Not yet Cream. First we gotta spend all of the money.
Cream: What are we gonna spend it on?
Amy: Hmm…
Later that evening, Sonic came in to a fancy restaurant.
Sonic: good evening! Table for one please.
Espio: Sorry, but the whole restaurant has been rented to a private party.
Sonic: What!? But this is my only night to be fancy! Who could possibly afford to rent out a whole restaurant?
Espio: Oh, a couple of rich entrepreneurs, and their dates.
Amy and Cream were sitting at a table with Eggman and his mother who did not want to be here right now.
Amy: So, how long have you two known each other?
Eggman's mother: What did she say!?
Cast:
Amy as Spongebob
Cream as Patrick
Sonic as Squidward
Chip as Tom
Jet as Con Man
Rouge as Sadie
Tails as Blue Fish with purple stripes
Silver as Purple Fish
Eggman as Mary
Eggman's mother as Mary's mother
Big as Fred
Knuckles as the customer with a southern accent
Carrotia as Patrick 2
Espio as Server
Vanilla as Extra Character
Another amazing remake! This episode was my childhood and I loved writing this. I hope you have a great day! See you next time!