A/N: Just a little oneshot I thought up in honor for the day. Not beta'd so yeah. :(
Roxanne didn't know what to make of the nicely wrapped present she found sitting atop her desk when she arrived at work on this rainy day. She raised her eyebrow when she eyed the blue envelope that was laying on top of it that was addressed to her. "Um… alright."
Sitting down in her chair she cautiously opened to the envelop and read it's contents, frowning,
Dear Miss Ritchi,
It is with great pride that I announce to you that I am giving up on being evil.
That made her raise her eyebrows.
I know this news is shocking, considering our long history together… you're thinking to yourself, "What does this mean? Did I do something wrong to disgust the great Megamind? What will I do without his sauvé masculinity in my life? What purpose do I serve?" She had to roll her eyes at this. Fear not Miss Ritchi, for I am a changed man and wish to be a part of society as a solid citizen. So, as a symbol of my goodness, I present to you—a present! Consider this a gesture of goodwill after all we've been through together. I hope that its contents will be satisfactory to your interests.
Best of luck in your endeavors!
Yours truly,
The devilishly charming and very handsome,
Megamind
Roxanne eyed the note carefully and then the package on her desk. It was wrapped in blue and black paper with spikes sticking out of it and topped with a black ribbon. "Ok, I am suspicious."
"Ritchi! Why aren't you working on that migrating lemmings report?" came the voice of her boss, Wilbur Larson.
She looked at him, a short, and sixty-something with a heavy cigar habit, "I got a message from Megamind, Wil, and a… gift of sorts…" she used her pen to poke the box away,"But I don't trust it
Her boss took the letter from her hand and scanned it over a few times, "Huh, looks genuine. It's definitely a story to write about. Let's see what's inside!"
But Roxanne leaned away as he reached for it, "Uh, Wil? I think we should give it to the police, at least have Metro Man use his X-ray vision to look inside it."
"Nonsense." Her boss took the package and began ripping off the paper, "You're paranoid, Ritchi. You need to relax."
She leaned from him and held up a manila folder to her face, "I'm kidnapped more times than I can count. I feel my paranoia is justified."
Her boss took a pair of scissors and sliced through the tape, "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. Just a, uh, "'I'm sorry" gift.' Is all."
He pulled open the box and Roxanne heard a small click! "Uh-oh!" with lightening reflexes she dove under her desk just as a loud POOF! Erupted from the box, and a blue cloud of some kind of powdery substance billowed throughout the entire office of Metro City Telegraph.
Nervously, Roxanne peeked out from under desk as her boss and coworkers all gasped, coughed and spluttered in a panic from the blue cloud, all covered from head to toe in the blue stuff.
"What is this?" one man shouted.
"Is it some kind of poison?" hollered a woman.
Roxanne coughed herself and raised her hand, rubbing her fingers together, "No! Poison's not Megamind's style. It's-" She licked her fingers and made a face, "Chalk?"
Tap. Tap. Tap. Came from her right, and she looked and growled to herself.
The tapping at the window was caused by a giant black robotic hand, controlled by none other than that dastardly devil. "MEGAMIND!" She shrieked and stomped towards the window.
The blue villain wiggled his robot's fingers in greeting as his thin face broke into a wicked grin.
She rammed the window open, and shook her fist out towards him, "You—you! Why did you? URGH!"
She heard him cackle like a madman in his suit as he held up a poster sign from behind the glass. She glared at it in disbelief,
"'APRIL FOOLS DAY LOL SMILY FACE' ? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!"
In fury, she grabbed a nearby stapler, a pad of post-its and a cup of pencils and began pelting them at him through the window, "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS MEGAMIND!"
Megamind's robot dodged the office supplies and he stuck his fingers in his mouth, pulling his lips apart as he stuck out his tongue and crossed his eyes at her before he gleefully made his robot run away to go about his day of evil and villainy.
