TITLE: Its Time You Should Know
AUTHOR: Clairisant
CLASSIFICATION: Song Fic AJ/MacRATING: PG
FEEDBACK: Would love to hear both good and bad feedback but please try to be kind and constructive.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This song fic was written because I heard it on the radio again the other day when I was trying to dream up a new AJ/Mac story and thought wouldn't this be fun. I also was thinking that it would have been neat if the song were just old enough for what I had in mind and low and behold it was released in 1995! I did take the liberty of changing 2 words into one…in the fourth line I changed 'tall and' to uniformed, hope no one minds! It was also one of the four stories that I submitted to the 2005 Chaz Awards.
CREDITS: A special thanks to my beta readers, Qupeydoll and Shaz.
Chapter 1
1995
That song was playing again! It seemed like every time she turned on the radio she heard it at least once if not more. And since meeting her new Commanding Officer she just couldn't get it out of her head.
Okay it hadn't been love at first sight because of all that nonsense with her new partner thinking she looked like some old girl friend of his, but the next day in HIS office, she had gotten a good look at him and had fallen in instant lust. Now she had been working for him for a few months and had come to know him. She was in love and there was no two ways about it. Regulations and duty kept her from telling him that she was even interested in him, let alone letting him find out that she dreamed of them getting married!
The song said it all so well, and she made a vow that some day she would tell him how she felt.
2004
She sat with all the others through dinner and speeches and cheered with them at Bud's promotion, but inside she was as nervous as a cat. Knowing him as she did, she had a feeling that he would try and sneak out unnoticed so there would not be a fuss about his departure. Because of that she had left the gift that she had gotten for him under his cover on the entrance table. She knew that he had said no gifts, but this was one order she just had to disobey. It was finally time that he knew how she had felt about him all these years.
That was why she was so nervous, she had no idea how he would take her confession. Oh sure there had been a few moments over the years when she had hoped there was an indication that he returned her feelings. There was that 'almost-kiss' and the talk in his office the next day, and a few others, but she could never be sure because he was as good at hiding his true feelings as she was. But now he was retiring and there was no longer duty and regulations to stand in the way of them being together if that was what he wanted. She just had to take the chance if there ever was to be one for them.
His cover had not been hard to pick out on the table, and the CD had fit so well under it, no one would ever know it was there except him when he picked it up to leave and then he would see it. She could only hope that he would not leave it behind because of his 'no gifts' policy, and that once he was home with it, he would listen to it and understand its meaning.
Keeping close watch on him, she saw when he slipped into the hall and knew that this was it, he was leaving and would find her gift tucked safely under his cover. Without seeming to, she watched him and saw his start of surprise when he first spotted the small wrapped package. He looked around and she quickly averted her eyes so that he would not spot her watching him. When she looked back he was standing at the door looking at his people enjoying themselves. She saw that his cover was tucked under his arm and wondered if he had picked up her gift or not. With a half smile that to her looked sad, he turned and left the Officer's Club.
She got up and went over to the table where the covers were and saw that her gift was gone…he must have taken it with him! Now she would have to wait on pins and needles to see what his response would be. She wondered if he would listen to the CD as soon as he got home… that would only be forty-five minutes from now…or would he not be curious enough to listen to it right away? All she knew was that she wanted to be home by the time that he would get to his home in case he did listen to it right away and decided to call her.
Leaving the party over the protests of her friends about twenty minutes later, she figured that she would have just enough time to get home, and out of her Mess Dress uniform before he would have a chance to call.
To be continued….
Chapter 2
AJ sent several glances over at the gift lying in the passenger seat. He wondered what it was and who had gone to such great lengths to hide it from sight until the last possible moment of the evening. He also wondered if the person that had left it had put a note inside, or signed it because there was no indication on the outside at all as to whom it was from. It looked like it might be a CD, it was the right size and shape, and he thought several times about opening it in the Escalade before he got home, but then each time he told himself to wait. Who ever had given him this gift had wanted to be sure that no one else knew about it so he surmised that it might be better to open it when he had time to concentrate on it.
Arriving at the house he went in and resisted temptation just a bit longer until he had taken off his Mess Dress uniform. Dressed in black jeans and a sweater, he went into the living room and sat down on the couch with his gift. Turning it over in his hands several times he confirmed that there was no tag or label to tell whom it was from. Slowly opening it, he saw that he had been right and that it was a CD, although it was not a store bought CD, it was one made on a computer.
Inside the case was a typed card that read: Please listen to the song before opening the enclosed card. It wasn't signed and he was very tempted to open the sealed envelope that was enclosed before listening to the CD as requested. But someone had gone to a lot of trouble to make sure that this gift was received just thus and so, and he didn't want to spoil the giver's plan. He put the CD in his player and listened to a country song that had been popular about ten years ago.
Shania Twain's No One Needs To Know
Am I dreamin' or stupid?
I think I've been hit by Cupid
But no one needs to know right now
I met a tall, uniformed handsome man
And I've been busy makin' big plans
But no one needs to know right now
I got my heart set, my feet wet
And he don't even know it yet
But no one needs to know right now
I'll tell him someday some way somehow
But I'm gonna keep it a secret for now
I want bells to ring, a choir to sing
The white dress the guests the cake the car the whole darn thing
But no one needs to know right now
I'll tell him someday some way somehow
But I'm gonna keep it a secret for now
We'll have a little girl a little boy
A little Benji we call Leroy
But no one needs to know right now
And I'm not lonely anymore at night
And he don't know only only he can make it right
And I'm not lonely anymore at night
And he don't know only only he can make it right
I'm not dreamin' or stupid
But boy have I been hit by Cupid
But no one needs to know right now
No one needs to know right now...
AJ sat there with a stunned look on his face. Someone felt this way about HIM? Who could it be? He knew who he hoped it was, but that wasn't possible. Even though he had dreamed of Sarah Mackenzie for nine years, he knew that she could never return his feelings. Even now, that he was no longer her Commanding Officer; he couldn't imagine that she could feel this way about him. But he was intrigued. Who could this gift be from? He listened to the song one more time just to make sure that there was no mistake, whoever had given him this CD was trying to tell him that they loved him. Or at least that was the only thing that he could think of that it could mean.
Slowly he opened the envelope and read the card inside.
To be continued….
Chapter 3
If he had been stunned before, he was in total shock now! The card read: This is how I feel about you. And it was simply signed: Sarah. He wondered if she knew that he always thought of her as 'Sarah' in his private thoughts instead of Mac or by her rank? He wondered if that was how she wanted him to think of her. And then it hit him…she was telling him that she LOVED HIM!
He looked at his watch and wondered if it were too late to call her. He wondered if he should call her. He wondered if it was all some cruel joke. But no, Sarah wouldn't do that. She just wasn't the type to pull that kind of mean spirited prank on anyone. She had to mean it…she just had to!
AJ looked at his watch again and decided not to call.
Checking her internal clock, Mac knew he'd had plenty of time to get home and listen to the CD. At the fifteen-minute mark she wondered what he was thinking about what she had revealed. At the thirty-minute mark she wondered why he hadn't called. At the forty-five-minute mark she wondered if he had been so appalled that now he hated her. At the one-hour mark she knew he wasn't going to call and that most likely she would never hear from him again.
Even though any future meetings would now be very awkward, she comforted herself with the fact that she'd had the courage to try. She just wished that she had somehow found out about his utter lack of interest in her years ago so she wouldn't have lived in hope, dreaming of a possible future for them, all these years.
She turned the TV on and then off again, paced around the living room for exactly six minutes, and thought about going to bed. But she knew she wouldn't sleep, or if she did, that all she would do was dream of AJ and his shock and repulsed reaction to her message. She thought about going for a run and was heading to her bedroom to change from the bronze silk lounging pajamas she had on, into her sweats, when she passed by the front door and was startled by a knock on it.
Checking her internal clock once again she found it was 2317 EST. In her head she ran through all the possible reasons for a knock on her door at that time of night. Chloe could have run away from her grandparents and come to her for a place to stay…no, she was very happy there. Harm could have broken up with another girlfriend and come to her for comfort…but even he couldn't work that fast since he hadn't had a date with him at the retirement party. Harriett could have left Bud and needed a girlfriend to talk to about it…yeah right! The building could be on fire…but she didn't smell smoke, or hear an alarm or panic in the halls. That left only one possibility.
It had to be AJ. But why had he come? It had taken him more time to react than she would have thought for such a decisive man. Was he there to yell at her? Laugh at her? Denounce her for a fool? Yeah that was the most likely! So there was no other choice but to go to the door and face the music.
Taking a deep breath, Mac opened the door and found AJ standing there; his hand was raised as if he were about to knock again. He dropped it and said, "I'm sorry to come over so late, but a phone call just wouldn't do for what we needed to talk about."
"I understand, won't you come in? Would you like something to drink?" she asked, stepping back and allowing him to enter the apartment.
He started into the apartment and seemed to notice for the first time what she was wearing, "Were you in bed? Is this a bad time?"
"No and no. I was waiting…hoping that you would call, and when you didn't I thought that I would go out for a run, but now that you are here…I'm babbling."
"Just a bit. You sound nervous. Would you rather I had called than come over?"
"Honestly I thought that you weren't going to respond at all…"
"That would have been very inconsiderate of me, wouldn't it?"
To be continued….
Chapter 4
"I know why you've come."
"Because of your confession."
"And your response to it."
"Yes, I thought that was the whole idea. I was stunned…maybe shocked would be a better way to describe what I am feeling."
"And appalled, or just not interested? You could have said that over the phone…it might have been kinder."
"Nothing could be farther from the truth! Could we sit down and discuss this, Sarah, please?"
She moved over to the couch and sat down in the middle. AJ wondered if she didn't want him to join her there or if she chose the middle because that would mean whatever side he chose he would be sitting very close to her. Seeing him hesitate, she moved over to one side and looked up at him waiting to see what he would do.
"Sarah," he hesitated again, then came and sat close to her taking her hands in his, even though she seemed reluctant for that to happen. "Did you mean it? Really mean that song the way it sounded?"
"Are you asking if I love you?" she asked just a bit defiantly.
"Yes, I guess I still find it hard to believe," AJ told her.
"WHY?"
"Because you are young and beautiful and I am old and bald."
"Believe me I feel a lot older than my years, and I don't see you as old and bald!"
"How do you see me, Sarah?"
"Through the eyes of love I see you as mature, steady and I think Sydney had it right when she called you Admiral Vigorous! You are the most virile man I've met. I've envied every woman you've been involved with for the last nine years."
"There have been only three, not such a large line-up. And you introduced me to one of them."
"I always regretted that!"
"Are you saying you've had feelings for me for nine years?"
"Yes. The year we met that song was playing like crazy and I knew as soon as I heard it that it described just how I felt about you."
"I can't believe we've felt the same way about each other and managed to keep it hidden all these years."
"You have feelings for me?"
"Yes, Sarah, I do. Why do you think I almost kissed you that night in my bedroom?"
She looked up at him hesitantly and asked, "You love me too?"
"Yes, I do," he reached out and took her hands in his, "And I would be honored to marry you and father as many children as you want."
"WHAT!"
"Was I wrong? There was a marriage proposal in that song wasn't there?" He grinned at her as she mentally replayed the song she knew so well in her head.
"Ummm, I guess there was…"
"Wonderful, I thought so!" he laughed.
"And you're saying 'yes'?"
"Yes."
She gasped, "I guess that means we are engaged…"
"I guess it does," he told her with an indulgent grin. "I hope that you don't believe in long engagements."
"But what about your plans with Francesca?"
"They can be modified or canceled all together to suit our plans…my love."
"Your love? Do you have any idea how that sounds to me?"
"I hope you like it, because that is how I feel about you."
"I love it, almost as much as I love you!"
Smiling at her he gently pulled her closer to him on the couch and took her into his arms. "I have been dreaming of this for years, and now it's about to happen. Sarah, tell me now if you don't want me to kiss you, because once I start…I'm not sure I will be able to stop."
"Oh, AJ, I want so much more than your kisses…and I thought it's time you should know!" she gladly moved into his arms and put both hands on his cheeks looking into his intense chocolate brown eyes.
The kiss that they had waited seven years to complete was more than either of them could hope for. All the pent up feelings of those years were behind the desires put into the kiss. Lips met tenderly and explored gently until Sarah gasped for joy at the need she felt in him. His tongue approached with caution and entered at her invitation when she opened her lips for him. Her tongue met his and they dueled with passion.
THE END