White Poem

by 7401KL

This is a drafty, jagged poem that takes the draft and revisions it in three different ways.

White

By: Kaitlyn

Draft

I strolled steadily into the icy cave. But I slipped and crashed onto the ground. Feelings of glass under me. Icicles drip – drop down toward the arctic lake within. I peered into a white, shear blanket of icicles. The icicles threatened to pound me at any moment. My emotions, clear and transparent, staring at the diamonds above.

Revision 1

I strode steadily into the icy cave.

But I slipped,

And crashed onto the ground.

It felt like snowy feathers under me.

Icicles dripped into the blanket of snow.

My emotions transparent,

While I stare at the diamonds above.

Revision 2

I strode into the icy cave,

Slipping and crashing to the ground

I felt feather snow under me. Icicles dripped,

As I peered into the blanket of snow

My emotions transparent,

While I stare at the diamonds above

Revision 3

I strode into the icy cave,

Slipping and crashing,

Onto the feather snow beneath me

Icicles dripped,

Becoming a reflection of themselves

As I peered into the blanket of snow

My emotions transparent,

I'm hypnotized by the diamonds above