I started thinking, what if the Leviathans hadn't stayed in Cas, and everything was sent back into purgatory? Cas said he wanted to redeem himself, but I doubt Dean forgives that easy.
So they take Cas with them to Bobby's, and Cas and Bobby ends up having a little talk.
Warnings? Angst, I guess. But hey, it's me, so what did you expect?
After finding Sam, Cas follows them to the car, quietly getting into the backseat. He feels exhausted, but otherwise physically fine, but he can't push the way Dean looked at him when he said 'You think?' out of his mind. That Dean had helped saving him at all was something, he guesses, and he didn't just say no when Cas told him he would find some way to redeem himself, but right now, he just seems intent on getting back to Bobby's, and all his attention is focused on Sam. Which is only natural, really. Yet Cas still wonders what'll happen once they get there.
Back at Bobby's, Sam more or less passes out on the couch, and Dean immediately brings out a bottle of whiskey. Bobby downs a glass, then makes some excuse to leave Dean alone with Cas.
For a while, they sit in uncomfortable silence, Dean determinedly drinking and Cas not knowing what to do.
"Dean…"
"Cas, not now."
"Dean, I just wanted to thank you. For saving me."
"Okay. You're welcome, I guess." Cas tries to make Dean meet his eyes, but the hunter just looks away.
"Dean… I – I don't know if you ever can forgive me –"
"Me neither, Cas. What you did…"
"I know. Please, Dean. If there's anything, anything at all, I can do…" Dean slams his glass down on the table and gets up.
"Damnit, Cas, not now! My little brother's lying there, completely fucked up with Hell memories, because you broke the wall! And you lied to us, for a long time, about so fucking much! About pretty much everything!"
"I know. And I am so, so sorry, Dean. If I could undo it somehow, I would. But I can't, all I can do is try to… try to find a way to redeem myself to you. I only hope you will be able to forgive me some day." Dean just shakes his head and pours some more whiskey for himself. Cas feels worse than if Dean just would have punched him, and slips out of the house without saying anything else. He doubts Dean even notices.
He finds Bobby in the scrap yard, sitting on the hood of a truck that looks like it's about to fall to pieces.
"He'll come around, you know. Eventually." Cas sits down next to the old hunter.
"How do you know?"
"Because I know that kid. You didn't see the look on his face when he thought you were dead. Hell, you must understand why he's pissed right now, I can't say I'm completely ready to forgive you for breaking Sam's wall, and almost the world, but I don't think my opinion matters as much to you." Cas sighs.
"I don't know what to do, to make him… 'come around', as you say. Maybe I should just leave, just let him get on with his life." Bobby turns to face him, eyes narrowed.
"That would be the most stupid thing you could do, angel boy. Then you'll never get the chance to redeem yourself to him. You shoulda seen him while you were away playing God, there's just a few other times I've seen him so miserable, even though he tried to pass it all off as just anger."
"So you think he wants me to stay? That there maybe is a chance he will forgive me?"
"That boy's forgiven Sam for a lot of crap over the years, and if I know that kid at all, you mean almost as much to him as Sam does." Cas tilts his head at this. Yes, Dean said he was like a brother, that he was family, but… Sam has always been the centre of Dean's universe, just like Dean's become the centre of Cas'. He never thought that was anywhere close to mutual. "He'll come around. He doesn't want to lose you, y'know. Not you too."
"What am I supposed to do, now?"
"Just stick around. Kid needs you. And I mean, hell, what else would you do? I don't think Heaven will welcome you with open arms this time around, right?"
"No, I guess not."
Reviews? I have no idea whether this is any good at all or not, you tell me, please!