No seriously what the fuck is this shit. My friend told me to create a story based off of the photos in the Pokemon folder in my Google Drive during Creative Writing. And this shit was born. Holy fuck this is a mess. I am so sorry. To be honest, I can barely comprehend it. Have fun.
N stood there next to his Zoroark, facing the trainer in front of him. "I shall make you liberate your Pokemon! It's for the advancement of Human and Pokemon-kind together! We must be liberated to live in complete peace and harmony!"
"Not on my watch, I love my Pokemon! I would never let my Pokemon go! Let me show you with a battle!" Touko shouted, throwing a Pokeball and releasing an Emboar.
The TV on the Castelia City's square suddenly broke out into a breaking news update, catching the attention of everyone around. N and Touko stopped and looked up, wondering what was going on that was so important as to interrupt their battle. "Breaking News! The Hoenn Space Station has identified two humans trapped in space! That's right, we have live coverage from the Hoenn Space Center right now!"
The screen cut to Cyrus, dress as Hatsune Miku, and Saturn, dressed as Kaito, standing in space. Cyrus was singing World is Mine as loud as he could while Saturn was eating ice cream. "Just what is happening right now?" The reporter asked.
"We have no idea, but it's crazy! Some dude dressed as a chick is singing! Please make him stop it's annoying here at the space station!" a scientist shouted, running away and covering his ears.
"And that was a live report from the Hoenn Space Center!" the newscaster signed off.
Shouting from a street over caught Touko and N's attention. "I told you, I am the leader of the mafia!"
"I want to be the king of the world fuck off, Giovanni!" Ghetsis shouted back.
"Daaad, please stop I love you why do you hate me?" N cried in desperation, running over to Ghetsis' side.
"Piss off and huff a pint of spunk, you nerd." Ghetsis threw him to the ground.
Touko ran over, standing next to someone that looked just like her. "Hey, what's up?"
"Just watching these nerds fight. I'm Hilda!" she greeted.
"I'm Touko. Nice to meet you!" Touko smiled.
"Gio, we're here to help!" James busted into the fight.
"Team Rocket, helping our boss at the speed of light!" Jessie chanted.
"Surrender now, or be killed by his blight!" James finished.
"Meowth, that's right!" Meowth appeared.
"Oh dear Arceus save me from these idiots." Giovanni groaned.
"You fools?" Ash appeared, Misty and Brock standing behind him.
"Go! Starmie!" Misty shouted, sending out her Starmie.
"The girl thinks she's pretty." James smirked, throwing out a Doduo.
"I agree. I think she's pretty too. Pretty pathetic." Jessie laughed, throwing out Seviper.
"This looks like a fuckin Pokemon battle!" Ash shouted, sending out Pikachu.
May and Brendan ran right through them, May dressed as Katy Perry and Brendan dressed as Left Shark. "We got remakes bitches!"
"Hoenn confirmed! Get on our level, noobs!" May shouted then started playing a trumpet.
"What's that I hear? Trumpets! That's because Hoenn Confirmed, bitches! Hoenn out!" They ran off.
Professor Oak appeared out of nowhere. "Now is not the time to use that…."
Everyone jumped, turning and facing his ghost. "What the fuck are you doing, Gramps?" Gary appeared, looking very confused.
Maxie walked by, holding the blue orb. "And my magic orb says you're a lil bitch, Gary."
On the TV above them, Saturn fell to the ground, crying. His ice cream had floated away into the center of the Milky Way.
Billy Mays ran in, spotting the Team Rocket grunts. "Why hello there!"
"Prepare for trouble!"
"BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!"
"Make it double!"
"TO PROTECT CARPETS FROM DEVASTATION"
"To unite all cleaning products within our nation."
"TO DENOUNCE THE EVILS OF MUD AND SCUM!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"BILLY MAYS!"
"James"
"TEAM ROCKET CLEANS AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT!"
"Surrender now, or prepare to opt for off-brand cleaning products!"
"MEOWTH THAT'S RIGHT! FOR ONLY $19.99 PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING!"
Ash just stood there, staring at them confused but strangely delighted.
Brendan and May ran back through, this time with Wally, Lisia, Steven, Maxie, Archie, and Zinnia. "Fucking remakes bitches! Whoo!" they all shouted.
Cyrus came back down from space, standing at a computer at the wall of the Pokemon Center nearby. He kept smacking his face into the keyboard, shouting "I'm Sciencing! I'm Sciencing!"
Hunter J ran over to Cyrus, smacking the shit out of him. "You're the first whore I've ever hoped to sacrifice. Breaking my arm cannon with your infernal singing!"
"J! Our client needs his Pokemon!" her men shouted from behind her.
"Feeble idiots…" She hissed, turning to walk away but ran directly into Lysandre. Lysandre was obviously stoned as his face looked like that of an Espurr's. J just made a disgusted face and walked off.
"The newest Lawful, Neutral, Chaotic is out! Let's see who made it this time!" the newscaster said.
"Lawful good-Helix Fossil! Lawful Neutral, Jay Leno! Lawful Evil, Dome Fossil! Neutral Good, Pidgey! Neutral, Pokemon! Neutral evil, Eevee! Chaotic good, Charmeleon! Chaotic Neutral, S.S. Anne Ticket! Chaotic evil, Flareon! Congrats!" the TV cut out again.
Everyone's phones started going off and they all simultaneously pulled them out, reading the text message they had all received. "Youngster Joey shut up!" everyone screamed, putting their phones back in their pockets.
J was running away when she slipped off of the Castelia pier and into the ocean, losing her glasses. "Damned ocean. I hate water since I drowned in it the last time!"
Ash pulled out his phone, facetiming Dawn. "Hey Dawn! There's a huge mass of events and it's really confusing. How are you?"
Dawn was dressed in Team Magma clothing. "Fuck you Ash, I'm a grunt now. Thug life chose me, Ash!"
"Okay… Well bye." He quickly hung up.
J walked back over. "Girlfriend is evil now, huh? Give me Pikachu!" She aimed her broken gun at Pikachu just as three buff-asf-Pokemon ran by. A Metapod, Bidoof, and Mudkip were flaunting their buffness as they streaked by.
Cyrus just stared at them with an evil snarl. "Your faggotry fails to impress me…" he hissed. He grabbed a Pokeball, releasing Giratina. "This world is mine!" he started to run forward, tripping over a box of Cyrus plushies. He stared at them in confusion. "What the fuck."
Everyone's phones rang again, everyone now slightly more pissed off. "Youngster Joey shut the fuck up!" everyone was obviously annoyed.
Archie and Maxie walked by, looking fabulous. "We're back from filming!"
"What for?" Ghetsis asked.
"LazyTown." Maxie said. Everyone stared at them like 'what the fuck.'
Nicki Minaj came by looking like Jupiter, her tour bus following her. "Y'all bitches know where Imma be performin tonight?" she asked them.
"Over there!" Cyrus pointed towards the junkyard.
"Thanks, blue-haired freak." she walked off, her butt jiggling.
"Ew." Touko and Hilda simultaneously made a gagging gesture.
The TV above them broke into a commercial of Giovanni and Team Rocket. "Look at your man. Now back to me. Now back at your man. Now back at me. Sadly, he isn't me, but if he stopped running around with those weak-ass Pokemon, he could be like me! Look down, now back up, where are you? You're on the S.S. Anne with the trainer your man could be like. What's in your hand, now back at me. I have it, it's a Shellder with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, those tickets are now nuggets. Anything is possible when your man is Giovanni. I have a Gible!"
Dawn stepped in front of Cyrus, Giratina changing form and going behind her. "Giratina trusts me more that you, evil being!" she shouted, pulling out a Pokeball and sending out Empoleon.
James put on his glasses. "Ooooh a shiny!" he waved his hands in front of him in excitement.
Cyndaquil stood next to James, sipping his tea. "Quite indeed it's a shiny, good sir!" it said.
Meanwhile, Mars and Saturn had started a stakeout for Cyrus' booty on the roofs of the skyscrapers above. "G-Unit Alpha, do he got the booty?" Mars asked over the speaker.
"This is G-Unit Beta. Confirmed. He do." Saturn said, removing the binoculars from his eyes and nodding in Mars' direction.
J's Salamence flew in, seeing all the random crazy shit that was currently going down. It laid down, barely able to cope in this circumstance. "What the fuck…"
"Just shut up and use Flamethrower!" J commanded.
Salamence unleashed fire from it's mouth, hitting Ghetsis directly (and only Ghetsis).
"Time to reorganize the roles!" Oak interrupted. "Good Characters are Dawn, Brock, and Ash! Neutrals are Zoey, Paul, and Ursula! Evils are Team Rocket, Team Galactic, and J!" he bounced away.
"Weren't those our roles in the beginning as well?" Ash looked confused.
"And what about all of them?" Dawn asked, looking around at the rest of the characters that were standing in the street.
Cyrus walked up, Mars and Jupiter by his side. "I heard we're the new main bad guys?" He asked.
"Yeah, so?" Ash grabbed a Pokeball.
"I will be God!" Cyrus said in excitement.
"I heard a rumor that there was a new team as well! Team Heinister!" Mars said excitedly. "Can I join them next?"
"You're on our side, dumbass!" Cyrus flicked her in the back of the head.
"Yeah but look at their outfits, they're so badass!" She held up a poster of their grunts, pointing out their outfits.
"Oooh, those are pretty badass." Jupiter agreed.
Oak jumped out again. "You all have to listen to me! I command all of you! Right, Cyrus, Ghetsis, Gio?"
They all turned to face him. "What are you talking about gramps?"
"I am a criminal mastermind! The elusive Doctor Oak!" he screamed.
"Gramps, you forgot your medicine, didn't you?" Gary complained.
Cyrus broke in through the Pokemon Center wall on a wrecking ball, dressed as Miley Cyrus. "I came in like a wreeeeecking baaaall. I just wanted to ruuuule them aaaall!"
"BOSS CALM DOWN!" Jupiter shouted angrily.
An explosion erupted from the sea, Archie appearing and wrestling Kyogre. "FITE ME WHALE THING! I OWN THE SEA NOW, BITCH!"
Kyogre flipped him back onto land and he landed on a Ponyta, riding it to the group of main characters. "What up?"
"We gotta meet Lysandre and Maxie at the movies, guys." Giovanni reminded the now assembled villains.
"Oh yeah, let's go!" Archie said, skipping away with Cyrus, Giovanni, and Ghetsis following him.
"About time!" Lysandre complained when they arrived. "50 Shades of Arceus is about to start!"
"Yeah, but these two unicorns in front of us won't stop texting. Rude-ass piece of shit Unicorns." Maxie rolled his eyes.
"Are the grunts sneaking around still?" Cyrus asked.
"Yeah, why?" Ghetsis responded.
"Blow 'em up!" Lysandre shouted.
"K." Cyrus hit a button, blowing up the sneaking grunts.
Giovanni jumped onto Deoxys "Fuck y'all Imma go to space! Peace!"
"Bye, Gio!" Archie waved.
J was flying overhead on her Salamence, her ship following her. The ship dropped down a ladder. "Get in, losers, we're going Poaching!"
Once they got on her ship Ghetsis stopped at a crude painting. "What the fuck is this shit?" he asked her. It was a picture of Ash with just his hat on and Pikachu next to him. Ash was pointing and Arceus was poking his finger back in a prophecy-esque painting.
"It's priceless art I stole shut the fuck up PETA fag!" she pushed him away from the painting.
"Cyruuuuuuus!" Mars lunged at him, grabbing him by the ankle.
He tried shaking her off. "Get away from me."
"Nooooooo!" She shouted.
Giovanni fell by, landing on the beach. He instantly stripped off his clothes, running towards the ocean. His body was glittering as he ran by in the water and sun, Gible by his side.
"Just like the ad! Nice! Wow he looks hot for his age!" Archie laughed.
"Bitch please, you're mine!" Maxie looked at him seductively.
"Shut up, nerd." He started making out with Maxie.
Everyone else just stared on in confusion. "You two are gone." J dropped them from her ship.
The next day, Ghetsis was trying to ride his Big Wheel tricycle. Giovanni jumped onto his back. "Go, Ghetsis, go!" he shouted.
Cyrus appeared from a dimensional rift on top of Giovanni. Giovanni just waved.
Archie and Maxie jumped on Cyrus. "Go Ghetsis, Go! Go Ghetsis, go!" they chanted, hanging off of Cyrus.
"Get off my Big Wheel you're making me sad!" Ghetsis cried.
"Go Ghetsis, go!" The continued chanting.
"Time to go, I gotta meet with Silver for lunch." Giovanni said, throwing the other guys off of him and walking into the cafe Ghetsis was passing.
"Hey, dad." Silver said, rolling his eyes.
"Hey, sport!" Giovanni said, ruffling Silver's hair. "Sneasel being treated well?"
"Yeah. Your Persian doing well?" Silver asked.
Giovanni smiled. "As always. I gotta go back to work now, though. I love you, son!" he hugged Silver. Silver just walked away awkwardly.
Giovanni got home from work, excited to get to sleep in his apartment in Castelia. He climbed in bed, hearing some giggling. He turned on the lamp, seeing Archie, Maxie, Cyrus, and Ghetsis also in his bed. "Oh come on, guys!" he screamed.
"But we're excited to go to the amusement park tomorrow!" Archie whined.
"Why wait until tomorrow, let's just go now." Giovanni said, climbing into his soccer mom van. The other villains piled in as well.
"Theme park! Theme park! Theme park!" Everyone but Cyrus chanted. Cyrus just sat there, stoic as always.
"What shall we ride first?" Giovanni sighed.
"Roller coaster!" They all ran towards the coaster.
"Should I get a haircut like you?" Archie asked Maxie.
"Why?" he asked, taking another bite of the ice cream they were sharing.
"It makes you known as a villain is all. Mine it all like average dude and stuff. Then again you…" Archie smiled.
"Don't you dare." Maxie stood up.
"You….." he smiled more.
"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE ARCHIE YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Maxie screamed.
"MULLET MULLET MULLET MULLET MULLET!" he teased.
"NOOOOOOO!" Maxie ragequit, running away from Archie.
"Yeah, all the ice cream is mine!" Archie said, shoveling ice cream into his mouth.
"Dammit, Archie…" Ghetsis rolled his eyes.
Maxie came back, but this time with a beard. "You said hairstyle change."
"I meant me… And, uh…." Archie just stared at him in uncomfortable disbelief. "How'd you grow one so fast?"
"Don't ask, just accept." Maxie narrowed his eyes at Archie.
Lysandre ran up to them. "Don't invite me to the Amusement park, I see how it is! AdminBot, attack!" he summoned in a robot with Aliana as the main body, Bryony on her back, Celosia coming from her left arm, and Mable attached to her legs.
"Dear christ what the fuck is that?" Cyrus asked.
"My AdminBot, I just said that." Lysandre said.
"Fuck this I'm going to the Distortion World. Giratina, let's go!" Cyrus summoned the anti-matter god, returning to his world.
Cyrus loved this world-he was the only one here. No other Pokemon besides Giratina. He had developed a friendship with the anti-matter Pokemon. He loved his little world-he felt like he could do anything.
Just then-Archie and Maxie appeared behind Cyrus, laughing. "NEEEERRRRRRD!" They shouted.
"Fuck off, get out of my world you faggots!" He chased them out of his world.
"We're getting remakes, fuck off Cyrus. NEEERRRRRD!" Archie put on some shade and Maxie started playing the trumpet as they rode off into the sunset.
Archie and Maxie were walking to the store later on, when Cyrus flew by on his Honchkrow. "NEEERRRRRRDS!" he shouted, staring them down.
This sent Maxie into a horrible flashback to when he was a kid. Cyrus would tease him all the time. He broke down crying and Archie just kicked him. "Get up, ya lazy nerd!"
"Shut up Archie you don't know how I feel!" Maxie cried.
"I love you, you stupid nerd!" Archie grabbed him, making out with him again.
Cyrus flew away in disgust.
Lysandre fell off of one of the Skyscrapers into Archie and Maxie, separating them. Maxie started crying again and Archie just laughed like a psychopath.
Joey rode in on a Ponyta, setting his Rattata on everyone. "You ignored my texts and calls! You can't handle the power of my top percentage Rattata!" The Rattata bit Giovanni, giving him rabies and killing him.
"Nooooo! Gio-buddy! You is ded!" Archie hugged his fallen bro in crime.
"Archie…" Giovanni sat up, grabbing his accomplice in his arms. "Archie… I-
What?! How can this be? Computer stop crashing. Infi, are you okay? Please tell me you're okay. The fanfiction I was writing about those characters I met is gone. Oh well. Ready to capture Giratina, Infi?
All systems are ready to go, Zero!