It's been five years since you met the love of your life. Five years since you fell in love with your best friend. And it's been two years since that same person shattered your heart, as you did his. Two years ago you started a fight with him. Over what, you can't even remember and, as it were, he had come to your place that night seeking a fight, for reasons known only to him.
When it had ended, you were in tears. "Why are you doing this?" You asked him, still in disbelief at his actions. "I never loved you." He said. At that, he walked out without a word and you collapsed onto your couch in a pile, unable to control your sobs. What you didn't know is that just on the other side of your door, he, too, had broken into tears. Leaving you is the last thing he wanted on this planet, he loved you more than words can say. That being said, he could see what his constant in and out was doing to you every time he had to leave for a tour or some publicity thing. It killed you; turned you into a nervous wreck and a bit of a jealous twit and he couldn't stand doing that to you, so he ended it. The words he spoke ran through his head:
"I never loved you"
How could he say that? He left that night a sobbing mess, just as you were.
Today you receive a text from one of your good friends and you smile when you see it. Xiumin had stayed close with you, as had the others, even after the break up. He wants you to meet him for lunch because he's bored and hasn't seen you for a while. You agree and start getting ready. Standing at your closet, you reach for a hoodie and subconsciously grab the only one Baekhyun had left. You wore it almost as much as you thought of him, which was daily. You slip it on without a second thought and leave your apartment.
Once Xiumin sees you he greets you with a hug and a warm smile. "Hey!" he says. "Hey." You respond, taking your seat across from him. He notices your hoodie and goes quiet. "He still asks about you, you know," he says gently. "Does he now?" you say, almost angrily. But you can't hide the slight sense of hope in your voice. "Constantly." Xiumin responds, but he can see you shift uncomfortably in your seat so he changes the subject. "So, we have a performance tonight, Chen, Bakehyun and I. I was wondering if you wanted to come? I promise I'll make sure you sit where he won't see you, and I won't even tell him you're there, and I'll make sure Chen keeps his mouth shut." He says, smiling at you. Hesitantly, you agree because you haven't really left the house in a while and it'd be nice to get out and do something. "Awesome!" he says and you can't help but laugh at his giddy tone.
Finishing lunch you head home to get ready for the evening. And by get ready, really what you're doing is trying to emotionally prepare yourself for seeing him for the first time in two years. You didn't know what you were going to do, even though Xiumin had made sure he wouldn't even know you were there. Sighing, you head out the door to what you knew would be a roller coaster of emotions.
You find your seat shortly before they come on the stage. A song you haven't heard before starts playing and you listen attentively. "Between the gap of your fingers is where everything fell apart," Chen begins. Already, your eyes well up with tears. You can't help but think of him, and when you look over to him, you can see the faint glimmer of tears streaming down his face and you knew he was thinking of you, too. "Down the path we once walked snuggling together," Baekhyun's line comes and goes with a slight crack in his voice. Tears start falling down your face, albeit slowly. Seeing Baekhyun cry was a rare occurrence, even for you. And you typically only saw it when he was overly intoxicated. "But we still wanted to be together," Baekhyun begins to lose it slightly, but manages to hold it together for a moment as he finishes the phrase "Sorrowful Diamond, diamond crystal…Crystal~" at the end of the word "Crystal" he meets your gaze: he had been scanning the crowd for your face, as he did at every show just hoping against hope that you would be there. This time you were, and he couldn't hold it together anymore. Letting the microphone fall to his side he turns away from the crowd, covering his face with his empty hand.
Tears begin falling more heavily down your face. You loved him, and still do, beyond anything in this world. Seeing him torn up like this only shredded your heart further because now you knew. You knew, after two years, why he had cut off your relationship, and why he had said what he did.
"I never loved you," the lie rings through your ears as if it had just been said five minutes ago. Your heart breaks further as you realize why he had said something so hurtful and downright mean. People around you begin to ask if you're okay, bringing you out of your daze. You tell them you're fine and gather yourself as much as possible.
"That's enough, don't cry anymore," Comes Chen's line as Baekhyun turns back around to the crowd, again finding your face. Though it isn't him saying the words, you can see in his eyes that he is saying it to you. "Without thinking, you let go of my hand," Baekhyun sings to you, knowing full well it was he that let go of your hand, and not the other way around. "Counting on our fingers the days until we meet again," once more Baekhyun's voice cracks and the tears fall. You can hear the crowd "aww" and holler his name as comfort, though to you it's faint. You're too focused on the man you used to call yours.
"As much as I embrace you, we are both hurt," he turns his gaze to the floor, once again covering his face. The emotions are getting to him and as much as he tries to hide it on stage, he can't anymore and he doesn't much care who sees. At that moment, you want nothing more than to run up on the stage and hug him tightly, tell him you forgive him and beg him to come back to you. "It's beautiful like this, my shattered heart," Xiumin sings, also looking to you as if to say "You know this is coming from him." And you start losing your composure again. The people around you look at you as if you're one of *those* fangirls; nobody knew about the relationship except for the other members.
"I'm glad even though it fell apart, I didn't want to let go," Baekhyun continues to look at you, wanting to run off stage to you and take you in his arms and beg forgiveness. He never wanted to let you go, and you knew that. "'Cause I thought we would always be here together," he sings behind Chen's "But we still wanted to be together."
"My dear diamond, diamond, crystal~" the song ends on Baekhyun's words and the music no more than cuts and his face sinks back into his hands before they leave the stage. As everyone begins to clear out when the show is over, you text Xiumin. "I have to see him." Tears are still falling from your eyes, and you pull his hoodie tighter around you. "Are you sure?" comes his response. "Yes." You reply simply.
When you arrive at your car, you see someone standing there waiting for you. It's him, tears streaming down his face. As soon as he sees you, he doesn't say a word, he just runs to you and hugs you tight, nearly sobbing. "I'm so sorry…" his words come quietly in between sniffles. You wrap your arms around him as a silent response. "I'm sorry…" he repeats, not knowing what else to say. There are no words for the remorse he feels in his heart. He loved you so much it hurt, and not having you only made that pain worse. "It's okay, Baekkie…" you say softly, repressing your own sobs. You loved him in the same way and wanted nothing more than to have your arms around him again. He smiles against your hair at the nickname you had given him, remembering just how it made him feel to hear it.
He pulls away from you just enough that he can wipe the tears from your cheeks, but more flow. However, instead of tears of sorrow and regret, these are of happiness. You had him back. He leans down and kisses you softly but quickly, not sure how you will react. When he ends the kiss, you pull his face back to yours, just wanting to feel his lips on yours. You missed the taste of his chapstick and the feeling of his soft lips. The two of you linger there, silently telling the other how you truly feel. Finally, you break away and look up at him. "Come home, Baekkie…" you say, your eyes once more filling with tears. "Shhh…" he says, wiping your eyes again. "I'll always come home." He pulls you close once more before the two of you climb into your car and head for your apartment.
For the first time in two years, you fall asleep wrapped in his arms as he sings softly in your ear, just like he always used to. It helped you sleep and he knew that, remembered it. "I love you, (y/n). I always have…" he whispers when he thinks you've fallen asleep. "I love you too, Baekhyun." Your sleepy reply hits his ears, making him smile. "I'll never leave you again." He says, but this time you really have fallen asleep. He kisses your forehead before drifting off to sleep.
The next morning you awaken to a warm feeling in your heart. That is, until you feel the cold feeling on the other side of the bed. "I knew it wasn't real… " you say to yourself. You grab your phone from the nightstand and a tear unwittingly falls down your cheek. You pull up Facebook and start scrolling aimlessly, trying to distract yourself. When a voice startles you.
"Oh, you're awake!" Baekhyun says brightly. You look up from your phone almost in shock. Immediately his expression changes from his usual bright and happy smile to a frown of concern and hurt. "you're crying," he says quietly as he sits on the bed and pulls you to him. "Please don't cry." He wipes the tears from your face. "I thought you had—" you begin. "you thought I left." His words come flat and defeated. You simply nod.
The two of you sit in silence for a few moments.