A/N: I do not own Chicago P.D. or Chicago Med. I wish there was more Jay/Antonio in the world.
Antonio should have been used to Jay's nightmares by now. He knew his time in the military had really messed with him, but Jay never wanted to talk about it and Antonio never pushed. But he never got used to waking up to the sound of the younger man whimpering as he slept at his side.
This night was no different. Antonio was sleeping deeply until he heard those painfully familiar whimpers on his right. Sitting up, the older man looked over. Jay was drenched in sweat and curled up in a ball. His face was screwed up like he was in pain. Touching his bare shoulder, Antonio winced at the clammy feeling.
"Jay? Baby? Wake up, it's just a nightmare." Jay winced at the sound of Antonio's voice, but didn't come out of the state of terror he was in. Grasping his shoulder more firmly, the brunette shook his boyfriend's shoulder harder.
Not realizing his mistake until it was too late, Antonio wasn't expecting the quick hand that came around his throat and the other that grabbed his wrist and pressed him down into the mattress. Tony gasped and looked into Jay's eyes that were looking right through him. "J-Jay.." he gasped as the hand grew tighter around his windpipe. He scrambled at the boyfriend's fingers trying to get them looser.
Antonio knew Jay wasn't seeing him. He was seeing whatever enemy was trying to kill him. "Jay, baby, please… you're hurting me." Antonio tried to speak as calmly as he could.
Tony winced as he felt Jay's grip get tighter and tighter on his wrist. So tight that Antonio suddenly felt a snap as a bone broke. A pained scream tore past his lips. That was enough to snap Jay out of hallucination. As everything caught up to him, the younger man's face turned as white as a sheet.
"Oh god… Tony.." Jay gasped as he scrambled off his boyfriend and into a corner across the room, as far from Antonio as he could get.
The brunette detective lay on his side, curled up in a ball and clutching his wrist to his chest. "Fuck.." he gritted his teeth, trying to breathe through the pain. Sitting up slowly, Antonio took in the curled up figure of his boyfriend sitting in the corner. Slowly, like he was approaching a wounded animal, he came to kneel in front of the younger male. "Jay..?"
Jay flinched, tears streaming down his face. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Tony," he choked out. "I didn't mean to."
"I know, baby, it's ok. But I need to call Will. I need someone to set this wrist and the hospital will ask too many questions that neither of us wants to get into right now. I'm going to walk out of here and call him really quick. Then I'll come right back in here, ok?" Tony said, panting slightly as pain coursed through his arm.
Jay nodded jerkily before burying his head in his hands. Tony stood slowly and grabbed his cell phone off the bedside table, walking into the pitch black living room. Flicking on a light and collapsing heavily onto the couch, Antonio dialed Will Halstead.
"Hello…?" came a sleepy voice on the other end of the phone.
"Hey Will."
Tony guessed his pain showed in his voice and Will became more alert. "Antonio? What's going on?"
"Uh.." Antonio tried to think of the right words to say. "Just had an accident. I need you to reset a broken wrist for me."
"A broken.. What the hell happened, Antonio?" Will demanded. Antonio could hear the other man grabbing his car keys and a front door closing. "Where's Jay?"
"Uh.." Tony looked toward the bedroom. "Incapacitated."
"Shit.." Will said. "His PTSD?"
"Yeah."
"I'll be there in ten minutes."
Hanging up, Tony took a deep breath. Wincing, he stood up and made his way back to the bedroom. Jay hadn't moved from his spot in the corner. Sitting down in front of him, Antonio waited.
After what felt like an eternity, Jay finally spoke. "I didn't mean to."
"I know you didn't, Jay. I don't blame you." Tony reached out his uninjured hand and placed it on Jay's bare arm, trying to ignore the way he flinched back. "Hey, hey.." Tony put his hand on the side of Jay's face and wiped a stray tear away. "You and me, right? I don't blame you, Jay. Never."
Jay took a shaky breath and nodded, but his eyes were glued to the red marks wrapping around Antonio's neck. Tony noticed and lifted Jay's face with a hand gently grasping his chin. "You and me."
Jay sniffed and scrubbed his face, nodding slightly. Right at that time, there was an insistent knock at the front door. "Time to face the firing squad." The younger man mumbled under his breath.
"Don't be like that. You know he's just worried about you." Antonio stated, grimacing as he got to his feet. Opening the front door, he stepped aside quickly as Will walked briskly into the apartment.
The brunette allowed himself to be steered to the couch and the doctor inspected the broken wrist. "Damn. He really did a number on you, didn't he?" Will said, eying the red marks on his throat.
"Wasn't his fault." Antonio said firmly.
"Never said it was. Who do you think dealt with the nightmares before the two of you got together. Can't say he ever gave me a broken wrist though." Will said with a bitter chuckle.
"Yeah, well, call me a lucky guy." Antonio bit his lip to keep the cry of pain in as Will set his wrist.
"I don't think lucky is the word." Came Jay's voice from behind the couch in the direction of the bedroom. The two other men turned to look at him where he was standing in his sweatpants and a hoodie. His arms were folded insecurely over his chest.
"Come here, Jay," Antonio said, reaching out his good arm. Jay hesitated for a moment before walking over and sitting down next to his boyfriend. He tried to keep his distance, but Antonio wasn't having it. He wrapped his arm firmly around Jay's waist and pulled him into his left side. "Stop blaming yourself." He whispered in Jay's ear, making a shiver run up the young man's spine.
"Jay," Will said, grabbing his older brother's attention. "You need to get help, bro."
Jay looked at his brother with watery eyes, then at Antonio. The older man nodded. "We'll get through it together." Jay hesitated before nodding his agreement as well.
Will stood, brushing his hands against his pants. "I'm going to go. Antonio, I want you to come to the hospital later this morning so I can take an x-ray of that wrist."
The detective nodded his agreement. Will patted him on the knee and stood up with a sympathetic look at his older brother, still curled up in the safe warmth of Antonio's side. "If you guys need me, at all, please call me." He said with no nonsense in his voice.
Antonio nodded again, tightening his arm around the younger man at his side. As Will walked out the door, Jay gave a choked out, "Thank you."
Will stopped briefly and turned with a smile. "Anytime, bro. Anytime." And with those final words, Jay and Antonio were left alone. They sat together on the couch for what seemed like hours, Antonio stroking Jay's arm with just his fingertips and Jay with his head resting on his boyfriend's chest.
"We should really try to get some sleep." Antonio said, finally breaking the silence.
"We have to wake up soon to go to work. Or.. I do." Jay said, regret seeping back into his voice.
"No, no. You and I are both staying him today. Voight will understand." Antonio said, with a sense of finality in his voice, leaving no room for argument.
"Guess there's no talking you out of that one, huh?" Jay said with a wry chuckle, already knowing the answer.
"Nope." Antonio replied, slowly standing up before offering his good hand to Jay. Standing on shaky legs, Jay clutched onto Antonio like a lifeline. Slowly they made their way into the bedroom and Antonio pulled Jay down to lay down on his chest. Antonio's injured arm was resting on his stomach while his other was wrapped tightly around his boyfriend's waist.
Feeling the tension in the younger man's body, Antonio stroked up and down on his back, feeling him gradually relax. "Baby, you gotta get some sleep."
"I know… every time I close my eyes Tony. Every damn time. All I can see is them coming at me. And I fight.. but it doesn't help. They always win." Jay choked out as tears welled up in in his eyes and his throat tightened.
"Hey, hey," Antonio soothed, sitting up slightly to look at the younger man. "Don't go back on me now, kid. You and me, remember?"
Jay snorted at the "kid" comment but nodded shakily. "Yeah, you and me."
Antonio nodded, pulling him closer, if that was even possible. "Now back to sleep and that's an order. I'll protect you from the bad men."
Jay chuckled before leaning up until he was hovering over Antonio, looking into his brown eyes. He planted a firm kiss on the other man's lips. "I love you." He whispered, before settling back on Antonio's chest, arm wrapped securely around his waist. It wasn't long before he was snoring.
Antonio smiled fondly before settling into the bed, careful of his arm. The two detectives slept peacefully, knowing no monsters would be attacking again tonight.