(A/N- Arg. It's been a long day at school, and I feel like writing
something random and stupid. Enjoy my random stupidity.)
(The setting: the Animorphs are reading stories about themselves on fanfiction.net...)
Rachel: *finishes reading Last Moments, by ChocolateKitty. Blushes* I didn't think anyone knew about that...
Marco: Oh my God. You mean you and Bird-Boy actually screwed on the forest floor? That is so gross.
Tobias: Oh, shut up. Everyone makes you gay.
Marco: *shudders* Don't remind me. I'm emotionally scarred for life. Do you know how many fics I've read in which I have sex with Jake or Ax or YOU?! It's sick, man! I mean, I'm a horn dog, how could anyone think I'm gay?
Cassie: Well, there WAS that fic where we all got wasted on Australian beer and you had sex with Rachel...
Marco: *dreamy look* Ah, yes. Britz is a freakin' genius. He always makes me feel better.
Jake: And you wonder why they think you're a fag... *gets slapped upside the head by Marco*
Marco: I happen to have been given a very hot girlfriend by HealerAriel. Who is so sexy and charismatic and wonderful, and the best fanfic authoress in the world.
HEALERARIEL: FLATTERY GETS YOU NOWHERE, MARCO. HEE HEE, DO YOU REALLY THINK I'M SEXY AND CHARISMATIC? ^_^
Marco: You bet, babe.
Rachel: *cough* SUCK UP! *cough*
HEALERARIEL: WATCH IT, RACHEL. I HAVE SUPREME AUTHOR POWER. I COULD MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING I WANTED.
Rachel: Yeah? Like what?
*There is a big puff of fuschia smoke and when it clears, Rachel is wearing a Felicity Shagwell dress, six-inch stillettos, and pink fishnet tights*
Rachel: Like, oh my, like, total GOD! I'm dressed like such a complete and total, like, hippie chick! Heinous!
Everyone else: -_-;
Marco: Heh heh heh. HealerAriel turned Rachel into a valley girl. ^_________________________^ I love life!
Tobias: *glares up at the beautiful authoress (who is sitting on a throne dressed like an Egyptian goddess and patting the head of a purdy leopard)* You've gone too far, HealerAriel. The slutty dress I could deal with - in fact, it makes me kinda horny - but to turn the woman I love into a dumb blonde? BLASPHEMY!
HEALERARIEL: DON'T PUSH ME, TOBIAS. I AM STILL ALL-POWERFUL.
Tobias: TRY ME, EVIL WOMAN!
*There is another puff of fuschia smoke, this time when it clears...*
Tobias: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Marco: *laughing his ass off* A SPEEDO! SHE PUT YOU IN A SPEEDO! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Jake: Uh, remind me not to piss H.A. off...
Cassie: Yeah. Now Rachel's a ditz and Tobias is half naked. Actually, he has a cute butt...
Jake: ...Ooooookay...
*Marco is still rolling on the floor laughing*
Tobias: This is so not funny! My ass is not something to be looked at! You are not a just authoress!
HEALERARIEL: *evil chuckle*
*Yet another puff of smoke appears, and now Tobias is...well...*
Tobias: OH MY GOD! NOT FAIR!
*Marco is having trouble breathing because he's laughing so hard. Cassie and Jake turn red and look away. Rachel stands there twirling her hair with a vacant expression*
Rachel: So? It's, like, not something I haven't, like, seen a million times before...
Tobias: *hyperventilating, and trying (in vain) to cover up his...special stuff* Oh - my - God - I - think - I'm - gonna - die! I - can't - breathe! And - I - can't - even - morph - and - fly - away!"
HEALERARIEL: WELL, THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR GETTING STUCK IN HUMAN MORPH FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF SCREWING RACHEL EVERY NIGHT. BUT YOU DO LOOK PRETTY GOOD NAKED... MAYBE I'LL KIDNAP YOU AND KEEP YOU IN THE BASEMENT OF MY TEMPLE AS MY SEX SLAVE, ALONG WITH LINK, LEGOLAS, SIRIUS BLACK, AND THAT MAGI FROM THE MUMMY...
Tobias: *so shocked that he stops hyperventilating* WHAT?! Why me? Why don't you take Marco as your sex slave?
Marco: You heard of voluntary Controllers? I'm a voluntary sex object. Therefore, I cannot be a slave.
Tobias: ...Oh, you sick fuck.
Marco: *shrugs and nods* What can I say, I'm a horny bastard.
All but Marco, HealerAriel, and Rachel (who is still twirling her hair and looking vacuous): -_-;
Jake: I so did not need to know that Marco screws the author...
Cassie: *crouches in the corner and whimpers* Ohhhh, when did we all become so corrupted? *starts rocking back and forth* Ooh, pretty butterflies. Pretty. Come to Cassie. I love yooooouu!
Jake: Oh God. My Cassie's lost her damn mind. *watches Cassie catching her imaginary butterflies with a more vacant look than Rachel has*
Cassie: I loooooooooooove butterfliiiiiiiiies! They're all...pretty...and...flappy...yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...
Boys: Erm, okay then.
Tobias: Um, wait, I'm still naked, aren't I?
Rachel: Like, totally, fershure. Does anyone, like, have any gum? Or, like, a mint or...something...Um, what?
Tobias: HOLY HELL! MY GIRLFRIEND'S STILL A FREAKIN' DITZ AND I'M STILL STARK-FREAKIN'-NAKED! *screams like a little girl and faints*
Marco: That's something you don't see everyday... Shit, most of us are either naked or crazy right now. Hey Jake, whaddya say we smoke some weed, take off our pants, and join the club?
Jake: Again, and you wonder why people think you're a fag. *gets slapped upside the head by Marco again*
Marco: *looks thoughtful* I want some beer.
HEALERARIEL: YOU'RE UNDERAGE. I MAY BE ABLE TO STRIP TOBIAS, MAKE RACHEL A VALLEY GIRL, AND DRAIN AWAY CASSIE'S SANITY, BUT I CAN'T BREAK THE LAW. SUCKS, DON'T IT?
Marco: *puppy-dog eyes* I love you.
HEALERARIEL: FINE, I'LL GIVE YOU SOME DAMN BEER. MANIPULATIVE LITTLE...
Marco: *kisses HealerAriel*
HEALERARIEL: *girly anime giggle* MANIPULATION ALWAYS WORKS ^_^; WHAT CAN I SAY, I'M A SUCKER FOR CUTE HISPANIC BOYS!
Rachel: Marco, like, IS cute *twirls hair some more* In fact, if he, like, asked me, I'd probably go out with him.
Marco and Jake: O_O
HEALERARIEL: BY THE WAY, THE "DITZ EFFECT" CAUSES RACHEL TO SAY WHATEVER SHE'S THINKING. NO INTERIOR MONOLOGUE.
Marco: *evil grin* Oooooh, this could be fun! Rachel, do you ever fantasize about me in a sexual way?
Jake: *bangs his head hard against the wall* Too...many...monkeys... *faints*
HEALERARIEL: -_-;
Rachel: Like, Jake's all dead and stuff... Weeyuu, weeyuu, weeyuu!
HEALERARIEL: ...YOU GUYS ARE GETTING TOO DAMN WEIRD. I THINK I'M GOING TO END THIS FIC NOW...
Marco: YAY! We can sing an ending song!
*Everyone magically wakes up and/or regains sanity and starts swaying back and forth while drinking beer and singing,*
Animorphs: Chickens go cluck-cluck, cows go moo, piggies go oink-oink, how 'bout yoooou?
HEALERARIEL: SHEESH, I SHOULDN'T HAVE LET THEM WATCH KUNG-POW...
Animorphs: Lemurs go ftt-ftt...(I will be merciful, and end it here. I don't want you to see them singing Louie, Louie in togas. It's scarred me for life.)
(The setting: the Animorphs are reading stories about themselves on fanfiction.net...)
Rachel: *finishes reading Last Moments, by ChocolateKitty. Blushes* I didn't think anyone knew about that...
Marco: Oh my God. You mean you and Bird-Boy actually screwed on the forest floor? That is so gross.
Tobias: Oh, shut up. Everyone makes you gay.
Marco: *shudders* Don't remind me. I'm emotionally scarred for life. Do you know how many fics I've read in which I have sex with Jake or Ax or YOU?! It's sick, man! I mean, I'm a horn dog, how could anyone think I'm gay?
Cassie: Well, there WAS that fic where we all got wasted on Australian beer and you had sex with Rachel...
Marco: *dreamy look* Ah, yes. Britz is a freakin' genius. He always makes me feel better.
Jake: And you wonder why they think you're a fag... *gets slapped upside the head by Marco*
Marco: I happen to have been given a very hot girlfriend by HealerAriel. Who is so sexy and charismatic and wonderful, and the best fanfic authoress in the world.
HEALERARIEL: FLATTERY GETS YOU NOWHERE, MARCO. HEE HEE, DO YOU REALLY THINK I'M SEXY AND CHARISMATIC? ^_^
Marco: You bet, babe.
Rachel: *cough* SUCK UP! *cough*
HEALERARIEL: WATCH IT, RACHEL. I HAVE SUPREME AUTHOR POWER. I COULD MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING I WANTED.
Rachel: Yeah? Like what?
*There is a big puff of fuschia smoke and when it clears, Rachel is wearing a Felicity Shagwell dress, six-inch stillettos, and pink fishnet tights*
Rachel: Like, oh my, like, total GOD! I'm dressed like such a complete and total, like, hippie chick! Heinous!
Everyone else: -_-;
Marco: Heh heh heh. HealerAriel turned Rachel into a valley girl. ^_________________________^ I love life!
Tobias: *glares up at the beautiful authoress (who is sitting on a throne dressed like an Egyptian goddess and patting the head of a purdy leopard)* You've gone too far, HealerAriel. The slutty dress I could deal with - in fact, it makes me kinda horny - but to turn the woman I love into a dumb blonde? BLASPHEMY!
HEALERARIEL: DON'T PUSH ME, TOBIAS. I AM STILL ALL-POWERFUL.
Tobias: TRY ME, EVIL WOMAN!
*There is another puff of fuschia smoke, this time when it clears...*
Tobias: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Marco: *laughing his ass off* A SPEEDO! SHE PUT YOU IN A SPEEDO! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Jake: Uh, remind me not to piss H.A. off...
Cassie: Yeah. Now Rachel's a ditz and Tobias is half naked. Actually, he has a cute butt...
Jake: ...Ooooookay...
*Marco is still rolling on the floor laughing*
Tobias: This is so not funny! My ass is not something to be looked at! You are not a just authoress!
HEALERARIEL: *evil chuckle*
*Yet another puff of smoke appears, and now Tobias is...well...*
Tobias: OH MY GOD! NOT FAIR!
*Marco is having trouble breathing because he's laughing so hard. Cassie and Jake turn red and look away. Rachel stands there twirling her hair with a vacant expression*
Rachel: So? It's, like, not something I haven't, like, seen a million times before...
Tobias: *hyperventilating, and trying (in vain) to cover up his...special stuff* Oh - my - God - I - think - I'm - gonna - die! I - can't - breathe! And - I - can't - even - morph - and - fly - away!"
HEALERARIEL: WELL, THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR GETTING STUCK IN HUMAN MORPH FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF SCREWING RACHEL EVERY NIGHT. BUT YOU DO LOOK PRETTY GOOD NAKED... MAYBE I'LL KIDNAP YOU AND KEEP YOU IN THE BASEMENT OF MY TEMPLE AS MY SEX SLAVE, ALONG WITH LINK, LEGOLAS, SIRIUS BLACK, AND THAT MAGI FROM THE MUMMY...
Tobias: *so shocked that he stops hyperventilating* WHAT?! Why me? Why don't you take Marco as your sex slave?
Marco: You heard of voluntary Controllers? I'm a voluntary sex object. Therefore, I cannot be a slave.
Tobias: ...Oh, you sick fuck.
Marco: *shrugs and nods* What can I say, I'm a horny bastard.
All but Marco, HealerAriel, and Rachel (who is still twirling her hair and looking vacuous): -_-;
Jake: I so did not need to know that Marco screws the author...
Cassie: *crouches in the corner and whimpers* Ohhhh, when did we all become so corrupted? *starts rocking back and forth* Ooh, pretty butterflies. Pretty. Come to Cassie. I love yooooouu!
Jake: Oh God. My Cassie's lost her damn mind. *watches Cassie catching her imaginary butterflies with a more vacant look than Rachel has*
Cassie: I loooooooooooove butterfliiiiiiiiies! They're all...pretty...and...flappy...yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...
Boys: Erm, okay then.
Tobias: Um, wait, I'm still naked, aren't I?
Rachel: Like, totally, fershure. Does anyone, like, have any gum? Or, like, a mint or...something...Um, what?
Tobias: HOLY HELL! MY GIRLFRIEND'S STILL A FREAKIN' DITZ AND I'M STILL STARK-FREAKIN'-NAKED! *screams like a little girl and faints*
Marco: That's something you don't see everyday... Shit, most of us are either naked or crazy right now. Hey Jake, whaddya say we smoke some weed, take off our pants, and join the club?
Jake: Again, and you wonder why people think you're a fag. *gets slapped upside the head by Marco again*
Marco: *looks thoughtful* I want some beer.
HEALERARIEL: YOU'RE UNDERAGE. I MAY BE ABLE TO STRIP TOBIAS, MAKE RACHEL A VALLEY GIRL, AND DRAIN AWAY CASSIE'S SANITY, BUT I CAN'T BREAK THE LAW. SUCKS, DON'T IT?
Marco: *puppy-dog eyes* I love you.
HEALERARIEL: FINE, I'LL GIVE YOU SOME DAMN BEER. MANIPULATIVE LITTLE...
Marco: *kisses HealerAriel*
HEALERARIEL: *girly anime giggle* MANIPULATION ALWAYS WORKS ^_^; WHAT CAN I SAY, I'M A SUCKER FOR CUTE HISPANIC BOYS!
Rachel: Marco, like, IS cute *twirls hair some more* In fact, if he, like, asked me, I'd probably go out with him.
Marco and Jake: O_O
HEALERARIEL: BY THE WAY, THE "DITZ EFFECT" CAUSES RACHEL TO SAY WHATEVER SHE'S THINKING. NO INTERIOR MONOLOGUE.
Marco: *evil grin* Oooooh, this could be fun! Rachel, do you ever fantasize about me in a sexual way?
Jake: *bangs his head hard against the wall* Too...many...monkeys... *faints*
HEALERARIEL: -_-;
Rachel: Like, Jake's all dead and stuff... Weeyuu, weeyuu, weeyuu!
HEALERARIEL: ...YOU GUYS ARE GETTING TOO DAMN WEIRD. I THINK I'M GOING TO END THIS FIC NOW...
Marco: YAY! We can sing an ending song!
*Everyone magically wakes up and/or regains sanity and starts swaying back and forth while drinking beer and singing,*
Animorphs: Chickens go cluck-cluck, cows go moo, piggies go oink-oink, how 'bout yoooou?
HEALERARIEL: SHEESH, I SHOULDN'T HAVE LET THEM WATCH KUNG-POW...
Animorphs: Lemurs go ftt-ftt...(I will be merciful, and end it here. I don't want you to see them singing Louie, Louie in togas. It's scarred me for life.)