disclaimer: i do not own Inuyasha

so this was supposed to be a oneshot, but it got too long and has now become a short mutli-chapter story (i hope. i really don't have it in me to start an super long stories). think of it as something that could have been a oneshot if i wanted you to read 50 pages worth of writing at once.

anyways, i hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1: I'm in love with a gay man

I have never, in my entire life, really liked someone. I've had petty crushes in middle school and high school, but I've convinced myself that those crushes were only the results of boredom. And, yeah, there was that one guy in my psychology class junior year who I probably really did like, but he was a sophomore and I did not want to date a younger man so I convinced myself I didn't really like him (And then he ended up getting a girlfriend after I didn't respond to what could have been flirting or joking—it was always too happy rd to tell with him—and I missed my chance.) And in college I was too busy to afford the distraction of a boyfriend.

The point is, I have never had a boyfriend or even trusted my feelings enough to believe that I really liked someone. It's actually a great defense mechanism; being able to convince myself I don't like anyone completely saves me from ever risking heartbreak. Hell, it keeps me from ever having to step on a limb and confess my love for anyone.

But, of course, there's a crack in every armor and it was only a matter of time for one appeared in mine. Because, six months ago, I walked into the small coffee shop on the corner of the strip mall I worked at and I met him and, sadly, I think I'm in love. Even all of my constant convincing hasn't talked me out of denying my feelings for this guy.

There are a million reason as to why I shouldn't allow myself to feel anything for the coffee shop owner, but despite how many times I repeated this man's flaws—his hair was longer than mine, he made bad jokes, he liked horror movies—I still ended up stopping by the coffee shop for breakfast and lunch and talking to him. Common sense told me I should reduce the amount of contact I had with him to stop these feelings from growing, but, as I'm learning for the first time, people do really stupid shit when they're in love.

The bell chimed over my head as I opened the door to the Beantown, causing the man behind the register with the long braid to look up from the book he was reading and smile broadly at me.

"Hey Sango," he greeted me, already punching an order into the register before I even made it to the counter. "The usual?"

"I don't know…" I trailed off, looking over the menu I already had memorized. "I might want a smoothie this morning."

"It's cold outside," he said, punching in my order. "You want a chai latte. And a croissant," he added with a wink.

"Pfft," I scoffed, now standing on the other side of the counter, directly in front of him. "Don't act like you know me."

"Sango," he deadpanned looking me in the eyes. I raised my brow at him and stared back until he laughed and reached up to pinch my cheek. "After all these months, I know you like the back of my hand."

God, I love him.

"Hey, you want to see the puppy Jakotsu bought yesterday?" Bankotsu was already fishing his phone out of his pocket to show me the tiny golden retriever that was curled up on the sofa.

"It's so cute," I cooed, although I'm not a at all a dog person (I have a cat.) Or a cooing person. "Girl or boy?"

"Gender is a social construct," Bankotsu reminded me, "but our puppy does have male sex organs. And because we do exist in a heteronormative society that is hard to escape, we're currently using he, him pronouns for him. For now. Jak is very serious about raising him with a gender neutral upbringing."

"Wow."

"Are you really surprised?" Bankotus raised a brow at me. "This is Jak we're talking about."

"True. But do animals get socialized the same way as humans though?" I asked as he shoved his phone back into his pocket before turning around to grab a cup for my chai "I mean, does gender even really exist for animals since it is a manmade idea or are we just projecting our conceptions of the world onto other species in order to make sense of the world and put everyone and everything neatly defined boxes?"

Bankotsu was grinning while he steamed my milk. "You see, that is why I love you."

I pretended that my heart didn't just skip a beat. "And here I just thought it was because I tipped well."

"No, that's why I'm crazy about you. Our conversations set the foundation for love though."

"Anymore flirting and I might have to make a pass at you." Bankotsu shot me his playful smirk and winked at me and I rolled my eyes while fighting an intense blush before switching topics. Any more playful banter and I would convince myself we were really flirting and I really had a chance and that was just dumb. "Do you at least have a name for your new puppy?"

"Not yet. Jakotsu keeps coming up with all these dumb posh names. He wanted to name him something with a sir. Like Sir William or something."

"Interesting choice for someone trying to create a gender neutral upbringing."

"That's what I said!" Bankotsu finished making my drink and pushed it to me and rested his arms on the counter as he watched me take my first sip. "Good?"

"Perfect."

"So yeah, right now we're between Sir William and my choice of Rumi."

"After the poet?" I asked and Bank's smile almost split his face in two and blinded me with his pearly whites.

"You see, you just get me."

I shrugged. "We just have a natural connection."

"If only I didn't love my Jak so much," Bankotsu sighed, picking up a rag to wipe down the counter. "You might have actually had a chance, Tanaka."

I ignored the salt being rubbed into the wound that was my heart and laughed at the joke like I was supposed to. "Damn, if only our timing worked out better."

"That and if you identified as a gay man."

"Ha ha," I awkwardly laughed at Bank's slap to reality, snapping my fingers "You got me there."

So yeah, number one reason why being in love with Bankotsu is really really stupid: he's gay.

But like I said, people do stupid shit when they're in love.

please review! ^_^

-qr