Today was hard. There was a gang fight at a mall just outside of Philadelphia, and the Rosewood PD had to step in and help. Two nineteen year old boys were killed, and I was in charge of telling the families.
Usually I love being a police officer. I get the joy of knowing that I'm protecting citizens, and making the world a safer and less scary place. But whenever there are incidents like these, reality hits me like a bucket of bricks.
My team and I can do everything right, but we can't prevent all bad things from happening. I feel completely worthless when I get a call saying that someone was murdered before the PD could get to the crime scene. My heart breaks every time a teenage girl comes into the station, and claims she was raped at a party. I feel sick to my stomach every time a Rosewood resident calls me, and says that the children who live next door are being beaten by their father. And don't even get me started on drinking and driving accidents. Usually there is at least one casualty, and there is always one person who has to sit behind bars for twenty five years because of one mistake.
These incidents prove that the world will never be a perfect place. There will always be evils and injustices, and there isn't anything a group of certified officers with guns can to do to change that. I desperately wish we could though. Why? Because the two most important people in my life live in this world, and it want to make it as safe as I can for them.
I get home at eight o'clock, and to my surprise my beautiful wife, Spencer, is sitting at the kitchen table and reading a book. I expected her to be upstairs with our five year-old daughter, Molly Elizabeth Cavanaugh like she is every night when I get home. I'm glad she's down here though. I need her support tonight.
"Spencer." I say with a sad smile.
My wife glances up at me, and a concerned look washes over her face. That's when I realize I'm crying. Spencer doesn't say a word. She just springs to her feet, and pulls me in for a long and comforting hug. I pull the love of my life close to me, and pretend that I'll never have to let go of her. I never want to let go. If Spencer is with me, she's safe. And that's all I want. For her to be safe and happy.
"Oh Toby, what happened?" Spencer asks as she stares into my piercing blue eyes.
"There was a gang fight today, Spence. Two nineteen year old boys were shot and killed, and I was in charge of telling the families." I say with a breathy sigh.
"That's horrible. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, honey." Spencer tells me sympathetically.
I know she understands. Spencer is a prosecuting attorney, and she works with children who have been molested. She knows first hand that there is evil in the world, and she's come home crying over victims who are Molly's age on several occasions.
"I just wish I could have done something to save them. If you had seen the looks on their mother's faces..." I start to say.
"It wasn't your fault, Toby. There wasn't anything you could have done to stop the fight before things got too intense. You're not superman." Spencer says as she runs her fingers through my messy hair.
"I wish I was. It makes me sick to think that something like that could happen to Molly, and there wouldn't be anything I could to protect her." I say as I close my eyes, and try to keep more tears from spilling out of them.
"Toby, don't talk like that. It makes me sick too, but Molly is safe right now. She's upstairs sleeping soundly in her princess bed. No one can hurt her while she's under this roof." Spencer tells me seriously.
"I love knowing that." I say with a slight smile.
"Speaking of Molly, I have something that might cheer you up." Spencer says as her face lights up with excitement.
"What would that be?" I ask her curiously.
"I made a cake for dessert, and she wanted to decorate it for you." Spencer says as she gestures towards the kitchen counter, where a full cake sits.
I immediately burst into laughter when I see the desert. The frosting and sprinkles are scattered all over, and Molly was obviously trying to make a smiley face with them. She obviously inherited her mother's unartistic genes.
"That might be the cutest thing I've ever seen." I say through my laughter.
"I know. Molly didn't want to eat it until after you got home because she wanted you to see her work. Unfortunately she was exhausted from her field trip to the museum today, so she crashed about half an hour ago." Spencer says with a chuckle.
"Well, I don't want to eat it without her. We can put the cake in the refrigerator and save it for tomorrow." I suggest.
"Yeah, that's a good idea." Spencer mutters before picking up cake, and putting in the refrigerator.
"I know Molly is asleep, but I want to kiss her goodnight. I'll meet you in bed?" I ask as I stare into Spencer's beautiful hazel eyes.
My wife nods and gives me a soft kiss on the lips. I smile and run my fingers through her long, dark hair, before walking upstairs to my daughter's room. To my surprise, Molly isn't sleeping like her mother said she was. I stand in the doorway, and listen as she whispers softly.
"Jesus, can you send an angel down from heaven to help James? He's really quiet, and the boys in Kindergarden make fun of him a lot. It makes me really sad. Tomorrow is his birthday, and Mommy told me there was going to be a pony. I don't want to ride on the pony. What if I fall off and get hurt?" Molly asks as she looks up towards the ceiling of her room.
I walk towards the little girl's bed, and her face lights up when she sees me. When I reach the bed, I pull Molly in for a long hug. She hugs back, and I smile in content.
"Mommy told me you feel asleep." I say as I stare down at my daughter.
"I woke up, Daddy. I couldn't fall back asleep, so I decided to ask Jesus if he'd help James." Molly whispers to me.
James is Aria and Ezra's little boy. He's five just like Molly, and they've been best friends since they were in diapers. James is a sweet boy, but he's incredibly shy. Molly is just as fearless and outgoing as her mother, so James often hides behind her. Molly looks out for him too. She doesn't let anyone at school give James a hard time.
"That's so nice of you, sweetheart. Are you excited for his sixth birthday party tomorrow? I heard you telling Jesus that you're nervous about riding the pony." I tell Molly gently.
"Will you walk beside the pony Daddy? It's my first ride." Molly says with a whimper.
"Darling, I won't leave that pony's side. I'll make sure you're comfortable, and I won't let you fall." I say as I stare into my daughter's hazel eyes.
"Thank you, Daddy." Molly says as she breathes out a sigh of relief.
"What are Daddy's for? Besides, it's the least I can do for you. Especially after you helped Mommy decorate that delicious looking cake." I say with a grin.
A blush forms on my daughter's beautiful face, and I can tell she's embarrassed about something.
"Molly, what's wrong?" I ask her curiously.
"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried." Molly says as she avoids looking into my blue eyes.
Oh. I see what's going on here. Molly doesn't think she did a good enough job decorating the cake. If only she could have seen the way my face lit up when Spencer first showed it to me.
"Molls, the cake was absolutely perfect. You couldn't have decorated it any better." I tell her truthfully.
"Really, Daddy?" Molly asks me skeptically.
"Really. Now why don't you finish your conversation with Jesus, and I'll stay right here?" I ask as I drop to my knees.
Molly nods, before restarting her praying session. I close my eyes and listen as Molly asks Jesus about James, Disney World, Pizza, and a thousand other fleeting thoughts that the five year old has. By the time Molly says "amen", there are tears in my eyes. How did Spencer and I bring something so precious into this world? I'll never know.
"Daddy, it's time for our kisses!" Molly says with a cheeky smile.
Spencer and I have a tradition that whoever says goodnight to Molly is responsible for giving her butterfly kisses before she falls asleep. Giving Molly butterfly kisses always makes me so happy, and it's usually the best part of my day.
Without saying a word, I lean into Molly so that my blue eyes are almost touching her hazel eyes. We both begin to bling rapidly, so that our eyelashes will essentially "kiss" each other's faces. After about a minute of butterfly kissing, I pull away and press my lips against Molly's forehead. I love her. God I love her.
"I love you so much, Molly. I love you more than anything in the world." I say as I stare into my daughter's hazel eyes.
"I love you too, Daddy." Molly says as she wraps her little arms around me.
I hold my daughter close to me, and silently thank God for giving me such a wonderful gift. I know I'm not perfect, and I've make plenty of mistakes over the years, but I must have done something right to deserve this beautiful little girl.
"Goodnight, sweetheart. I'll be right down the hall if you need anything, okay?" I ask Molly softly.
"Okay." Molly says before giving me one last hug.
As I'm walking out of the girl's bedroom, I stop in the doorway so I can watch her for a few more seconds. I hate leaving Molly alone at night. If it were up to me, she'd stay in my room tonight, but her mother won't have it. Spencer says that Molly is getting too old to sleep with us, and she has to get used to sleeping by herself at night.
"Daddy, are you still there?" Molly asks as she sits up in bed.
"Yes. I'm still here, baby." I say with a breathy sigh.
"Why?" Molly asks as she furrows her brow in confusion.
"I don't like leaving you, Molly. I miss you at night." I tell the girl truthfully.
"But I'll see you in the morning! I'll give you a giant hug!" Molly exclaims.
"Promise?" I ask her softly.
"I promise, Daddy." Molly says with a nod.
Molly's words give me enough strength to walk out of her bedroom, and close the door behind me. I'll see my daughter first thing tomorrow morning, and she's right down the hall if I need her.
Spencer is sleeping soundly in bed by the time I get to our room. I chuckle before turning off the lights, and pulling the cover's over my wife's body.
People say that love dies down over time, but my love for Spencer has only gotten stronger over the years. Every time I look at her, I think of the perfect little girl we created together. Before Molly came along, our relationship was about doing everything we could for each other, but now our relationship is about doing everything we can for our daughter. Molly is our number one priority, and she always will be.
"I love you so much, my sweet angel." I whisper before kissing Spencer's forehead softly.
"T-Toby..." Spencer mutters as she begins to stir.
"Sh-sh. Just close your eyes, princess. I'll be right here all night. I promise I'll protect you and Molly." I say as I run my fingers through her long, messy hair.
Spencer grumbles, but stops moving around. I smile before laying down next to my wife, and kissing her forehead softly. As long as I have her and Molly, everything will be okay. I'm sure of it.
Line Break
Even from behind the closed doors of my bedroom, I can hear music blasting from my living room. Today is Molly's sixteenth birthday, and about twenty boys and girls are celebrating with her downstairs.
I know I should be happy that Molly is turning into a young woman, but I'm not. If anything, I'm confused. She used to be a little girl who wore ribbons in her curly hair, and skipped off to Kindergarden with a giant smile on her face. Molly isn't that little girl anymore, but she's not completely a woman yet either. She wears perfume and makeup, but I still see the child in her.
Molly still sleeps with me and Spencer when she has nightmares, and she still likes the light in the hall on at night. She still has melt downs and cries when she's really tired, and I still have to hug her when she's sad. She still likes to watch old Disney movies, and she's still best friends with James Fitz, even though they fight like cats and dogs.
"Toby, why don't you come downstairs? We're about to cut the cake." My wife says as she enters our bedroom.
"Why? So I can watch those horny teenage boys eyeball my little girl?" I ask with an eye roll.
Spencer sighs before taking a seat next to me on the bed, and running her fingers through my dirty blonde hair. She's still so beautiful even after all of these years, and I love her just as much as I always have.
"Toby, I know this is hard for you. You're not used to seeing Molly around guys, and I'm sure you're not exactly comfortable with the idea of your little girl being checked out by teenage boys, but she's growing up. It's healthy for her to have crushes, and it doesn't take away from how much she loves you." Spencer tells me softly.
I know my wife is right, but for some reason that doesn't make this any easier for me. I wish Molly was five years old again, when she thought that all boys had cooties.
"It doesn't help that she looks so much like you. No wonder all of these boys have crushes on her." I say as I stare into my wife's hazel eyes.
Spencer blushes, and I give her a gentle kiss on the lips. I can't believe how much Molly resembles Spencer, both looks wise and personality wise. Molly is just as beautiful as her mother, and she inherited Mommy's brains and ambition too. Molly is a straight A student, and she's ASB class president. I'm so proud of the hard work she puts into everything. Maybe that's why I agreed to let her have this huge party. She deserves it.
"Come on. Let's go celebrate Molly's sweet sixteen." I say as I grab my wife's hand, and lead her downstairs.
When I enter the living room, Molly immediately stops dancing and walks over to greet me. I lean into Molly to give her butterfly kisses, but she immediately pulls away. For the first time, I realize that she's embarrassed to kiss me in front of her friends. Since when is she too cool for me? She's always been my little girl.
"You know how much I love you, Daddy, but if you don't mind I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time." Molly whispers to me.
"I get it, kiddo. You're sixteen now." I mutter before kissing my daughter's cheek softy.
Molly returns the gesture, and I have to fight to hold the tears back. I think back to when she was a little girl, and she'd give me butterfly kisses every night after prayer. Molly still gives me butterfly kisses sometimes, but those moments are few and far between.
"Daddy, can you find James? He got really angry and stormed out of the house and I haven't seen him since." Molly says with a breathy sigh.
"Why is he angry?" I ask her curiously.
"I don't know. He's being a drama queen. Please just find him for me." Molly mutters.
"Okay, but as soon as I get back we're cutting the cake." I tell my daughter seriously.
Molly nods, before walking back to her group of friends. I sigh before walking out the front door, where James is sitting on our porch swing. Molly obviously didn't put much effort into finding him.
"What are you doing out here? We're about to cut the cake." I say as I take a seat next to James on the porch swing.
"I'm not in the mood for cake. I just called my mom, actually. She's picking me up." James says as he avoids looking into my blue eyes.
"Why did you call Aria? Are you not having a good time?" I ask as my eyes grow wide with shock.
"Not exactly. To be honest, this is probably the worst party I've ever been to." James mutters.
Seriously? I spent so much time and money on this party, and James should have just lied and told me he wasn't feeling well.
"Thanks for letting me know that all of the energy I put into this party didn't pay off." I say with an eye roll.
"Sorry Toby. It's not that the party is bad, it's just that people are annoying me." James mutters as he avoids looking into my blue eyes.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask him curiously.
"With you? That might be a little awkward." James says as he shakes his head slowly.
"Why? Are you forgetting that I'm your godfather?" I question.
"Yeah, but you're also Molly's actual father." James reminds me.
"This is about Molly? Is she being rude?" I ask as my eyes grow wide with shock.
"No, not exactly." James says as he shakes his head slowly.
"So what is it?" I ask him curiously.
"Do you know Drew Cowl? He has a huge crush on Molly, and he kissed her earlier. He kissed her and she didn't pull away." James says as tears begin to pour out of his eyes.
Molly got kissed? She really isn't a baby anymore. Part of me is furious at that Drew kid, but the other part of me knows that I'm not being fair. Molly is sixteen, and she has the right to kiss and to be kissed. I just wish she didn't.
"Why is that a bad thing?" I ask James curiously.
"Because I hate Drew! I literally hate him. He thinks he has the right to kiss Molly when... When he doesn't know her like I do. He doesn't love her like I do." James says with a breathy sigh.
Did he just say what I think he said? James loves Molly? No, this can't be true. They've been best friends since birth, and they're practically brother and sister. How did Spencer and I not see this coming?
"What do you mean he doesn't love her like you do?" I ask as my jaw clenches.
"I-I don't know what I'm saying." James says as his eyes grow wide with shock. He's probably just as surprised by his statement as I am.
"No. I think you do know what you're saying. Are you in love with my daughter?" I ask as I begin to raise my voice.
"Yes." James says in a barely audible whisper.
In a strange way, I feel relieved. I've known James for his entire life, and he's a good kid. He'd never overstep any boundaries, or do anything to hurt Molly. Now that I'm thinking about it, he'd be the perfect guy for her.
"If you really feel that way, you should talk to her about it." I say as my tone turns serious.
"Are you crazy? Molly is like my sister. If I told her the truth, it would ruin everything!" James exclaims.
"I'm not going to lie to you, James. If you tell Molly how you feel about her, things will be different. Things might be awkward between you two for a while, but there's a good chance things will be even better." I say as my voice softens.
"How do you know?" James asks me skeptically.
"Because I was sixteen when I met Molly's mother. We were friends at first, but then I started to love her as more than a friend. I took a chance one day and kissed her, and it was the smartest thing I've ever done. If I hadn't told Spencer the truth, I probably wouldn't have married her, and Molly wouldn't even exist." I say thoughtfully.
"But what if Molly doesn't feel the same way about me?" James asks me nervously.
"Then you can go back to being best friends. You have nothing to lose here, James." I say, trying to convince him.
"Okay. I'll talk to Molly tonight." James says with a defeated sigh.
Line Break
The day I've been dreading since the day Molly was born is finally here. Today, she's going to promise to love and cherish James for the rest of her life, and then she's going to change her name to Molly Fitz. She won't be mine anymore. She'll belong to someone else. My baby girl.
I look across the bride-room, where Spencer is putting little white flower's in our twenty-two year old daughter's hair. I can't believe how beautiful Molly looks. She's turned into such a remarkable young woman. I'm convinced that she's going to be the best wife, mother, and lawyer that this world has ever seen. She's already the best daughter. I know that first hand.
Is it bad that I wish I could go back? Go back to the day she was born, when I held her in my arms for the first time. Go back to when she was just a little girl, who would let me give her butterfly kisses every night after prayer. Go back to when her heart belonged to me, and only me.
"Daddy, what are you thinking?" Molly asks as she leaves her mother, and walks over to me.
"I'm not sure. I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl." I say as tears begin to spill out of my blue eyes.
For the first time in years, Molly leans into me and gives me butterfly kisses. Spencer, who is standing on the other side of the room, begins to tear up at the sight. I close my eyes, and pretend that I'm kneeling next to a five year old Molly, who just got done praying. The same Molly who would wake me up first thing the next morning, and give me one of her famous hugs.
"Walk me down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time." Molly says as she grabs my hand, and gives it a gentle squeeze.
It's almost time. Molly is so excited, that she doesn't seem to realize that I'm sobbing.
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry!" Molly says, realizing my tears for the first time.
"I'm sorry sweetheart. I'm just going to miss my little girl." I say as I begin to cry even harder, if that's humanly possible.
"But you won't have to miss me. I'll always be your little girl, and I'm not going anywhere." Molly says as she gives my hand a gentle squeeze.
"Good." I mutter before wrapping my arms around the bride, and holding her so close to me that I can feel her heart beating rapidly underneath the silk dress.
Line Break
The church is full, but the only person I see as I walk down the aisle is Molly. I'm holding her hand so tightly, that it's probably losing circulation. I don't want to let it go though. The second I let go of her hand is the second I officially give her away.
"Who gives this woman?" The preacher asks as he turns to face me.
"Her mother and I do." I say as I glance over at Spencer, who has tears in her hazel eyes.
It's time to let go. Before I can loosen the grip on my daughter's hand, she leans into me and gives me butterfly kisses for the second time today. Jesus Christ. She's going to make me cry in front of a church filled with people.
"I love you, Daddy." Molly whispers into my ear.
"I love you too, princess." I say as I let go of her hand, and watch her walk over to James.
Even thought I'm losing her in one sense, I know I'll never truly lose Molly. I'll always remember the butterfly kisses she gave me at night, and the hugs she gave me in the morning. I silently thank God for giving me such a beautiful gift, and pray that James will love and appreciate her as much as I do.
Maybe this wedding is a good thing. It's a new chapter in all of our lives, but that's okay. The ending of one chapter always leads to the beginning of a new and even more wonderful chapter. I know that this next chapter in my life will feature Spencer, James, and of course my precious Molly. At the end of the day, that's the only thing that truly matters.
AN: What did you think? This story was based off the song "Butterfly Kisses", by Bob Carlisle. It's a beautiful song, so I wanted to write a songfic with it. I decided to make this a Spoby story since their scenes in the last few episodes have been so adorable, and I'm starting to fall in love with them all over again. Thanks for reading, and please review. Have a great day :)