A/N: Hello there. In a recent spurt of inspiration thanks to getting all my college decisions back, I have written the Death Note characters' college applications! This is in a warped universe where everything in canon happened with the exception of everyone dying (how does that work, you ask? Well, idk.) So assume everyone has survived, and those who haven't gone to college decide there's no better time, and those who have decide they might as well tag along for the second time around.

Some of these questions are real prompts from universities I applied to (is that a breach of privacy? O.O) But I must warn you, the Death Note peeps' college essays are prime examples of what NOT to do on your application. You'll see. This is all mostly for laughs, but you might catch some serious moments here and there.

And lastly, before this author's note gets longer than the chapter itself: there will be nine applicants, so nine chapters total, and so that no college can sue me for using their trademark name, the universities will be called A or B or some letter. Pay attention to that.

I don't own Death Note.

Oh dear, I've built up so much excitement through this long note, and now please don't be disappointed… I present to you Near's college application!

XXX

University D Application Form

Name: Nate River

DOB: 8/24/91

Race: white, obviously

Religion (optional): atheist

Class size: 42

Class rank: 1

Extracurricular activities:

Sports: I stand up every now and then. Occasionally, I swim through CD recordings of Kira's Kingdom (as demonstrated on page 16 of chapter 91). I also excel at darts.

Clubs: SPK, secret nonprofit organization comprising four members; mission: eliminate Kira

Community service: ridding the world of Kira's miasma ought to count for several thousand hours.

Please name and describe what you consider your most attractive quality: 150 chars.

That would have to be my headful of fluffy white hair. It contributes to my cute factor, which helps me winnow out pedophiles from the crowd.

Please describe a meaningful travel experience that you have had: 600 chars.

I was seventeen when I first left England for the United States. The trip was pleasant, especially because I didn't wear a belt, jacket, or shoes, so security was quite painless. Being on a real life plane inspired me to draw up new designs for a model airplane line I plan to release shortly. Possibly the only irritating aspect of the ride was Director Mason's snoring. I also spent some time to ponder the mysteries of life, love, and luck. I came to no conclusions (that's what I hope to do in college), yet I cannot say my travel experience was entirely wasted.

Please describe a meaningful leadership experience that you have had: 2500 chars.

Those who know me would expect me to write of my time as the leader of the SPK. If I had wanted to tell you of my experiences there, I would have directed you to start reading Death Note from chapter 60. That just goes to show how few people truly know me as a leader.

John Quincy Adams said, "If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader."

I entered Wammy's House on the 26th of November, 1999. I took the ranking exam on the 3rd of December. The next day, the results were posted, and I had taken rank #1 from Mello. To say he didn't take the loss well would be an understatement.

Thanks to Mello, I broke most of the bones in my body at intervals over the first few months. The only time I ever spoke to him was some time in April, just after my jaw finished healing. I didn't fancy getting it broken again.

"You have to beat me," I told him. "Not literally."

He looked at me, and his eyes were wild, not unlike a dog backed into a corner. I stared back at him for a few seconds, and then he looked more like a lion stalking its prey. Or maybe a wolf, if you prefer to stay in the canine family.

After that day, my skin was white again, and his knuckles weren't bloody red from knocking me teeth out. I guess they started turning grey from long nights with ink, lead, and fine print textbooks. He was going to beat me with his brains instead of his fists. A noble goal indeed, and inspired solely by me. Well, I have to give L some credit in later years, when Mello idolized him, but I was more visible to him in the meanwhile. I was the target he wanted to surpass.

Does that make me a leader, I who never spoke positive words of encouragement to Mello? I think it was rather my silence that did it. He wanted to hear me acknowledge defeat, eat my words from so long ago: "You've got to beat me." Whether he ever got to hear that is irrelevant. I inspired him to… well, not dream, but maybe have nightmares about me beating him, and he certainly has learned, done, and become far more than he ever could have without me. However, you are the judge. I say I am a leader. And you…?

By the way, it is futile to call University E and ask them to ask Mello for verification of these events. You might try Matt, but there is a 96% chance Mello will blackmail/bribe/seduce him to lie. I wish you luck.