T. K.: Okay, this should probably be in the crossover section but it's not.
Neko: *sarcastically* Oh, man, you set that up so well!
T. K.: Hush. Anyway, I don't own the Metal Gear Solid Series or Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century. Don't leave yet! At least give it a shot! PLEASE!
~~~~~~
"She's not coming here," Elizabeth Lestrade said in quiet but dangerous voice.
She, for once, scaredSherlock Holmes. "Lestrade..." he started.
"No!" Lestrade said. "I will work with anyone but her! She's not coming and if she does I had better not see her or I will not be held responsible for my actions."
"Now honestly, Lestrade," Chief Inspector Grayson admonished, "she is your cousin and one of the best The Yard ever had."
"Had," Lestrade told him, "as in not here anymore. She left."
"She transferred," Grayson corrected.
Lestrade huffed. "To a rather shady group who works on the fringe of legality."
"Been reading again, Lestrade?" Holmes muttered.
Lestrade stared at Holmes. "All I'm saying is that they are two steps from being terrorist."
"Two steps can be quite far for some," Holmes said.
"Only for people with long legs," Lestrade replied, "Madison's five-four."
~~~~~~
"Why do I have to do this?" Madison Lestrade/Dagger Cat asked walking down a hall carrying two suitcases.
"We, Cat, we have to do this," Solid Snake said following her with his one beat up duffel bag thrown over his shoulder. Both were dressed as civilians.
Cat sighed. "Whatever. I, personally, would rather have a desk job here than go back to a beat for the Yard."
"This is a one-time thing," Snake was saying as they walked out of the building.
"That's what I was told about working with you," Cat yelled over the steady thrum of a helicopter.
Snake smiled and yelled back, "You make that sound like a bad thing."
"Some days I wonder if it isn't."
Snake scowled and Cat read his lips as he muttered, "Damn her."
Cat looked at the helicopter and saw Otacon strapping himself in and tightening the belts as much as possible. Cat boarded the Black Hawk followed by Snake.
"'Fraid you're going to fall out?" Cat asked as she pulled her headset on.
Otacon shot her a dirty look and said, "Omae wo korosu."
"Promises, promises," Cat said strapping herself in and waving off the death threat originally issued by Heero Yuy from Gundam Wing.
"Don't make me sedate you," Snake said waving his tranquilizer gun.
Cat smiled sweetly and said, "Com'on, there's no reason for that now is there?"
The chopper pilot, Jack Raiden, smiled at the two. "Are you going to fight all the way to England?"
"YES!" both replied.
"On second thought," Snake said before taking aim at Cat's thigh. "'Night." Cat glared at him before passing out.
"Oh, that's great, Snake," Otacon said about to go on a rant.
"Shut up or you're next, Otacon," Snake told him.
~~~~~~
"I'm sorry, Snake," Cat apologized for the hundredth since waking up.
Snake limped off the landing pad at Scotland Yard. "You should be."
Cat had a bad reaction to sedatives; she always had nightmares and often thrashed in her sleep. This time she had kicked Snake square in his shin.
Snake sighed and stood up straight as two people approached them. Sherlock Holmes looked over the four people in front of him with the same appraisal that had earned him his reputation. The first one to catch his eye was a tall, well-built, blonde man, with pale green eyes. Jack Raiden, married, one child, good with a sword, specializes in stealth. Orphan and raised as a mercenary. Code name: Jack the Ripper.
Next was Snake. Another tall, well-built man only with shaggy brown hair, blue eyes, and a serious need for a razor. Solid Snake AKA: David Pliskin. Former Navy Seal and FoxHound, unmarried, no children, and likes weapons that leave a large hole, specializes in stealth. Then there was Otacon who seemed to be using Snake and Raiden as a shield. Tall, slight build, auburn hair, brown eyes, and glasses. Hal Emmerich... Otacon, unmarried, no children, non-mission, specialty: computers. Support for Raiden, Solid Snake, and Dagger Cat. Then there was Dagger Cat standing with Otacon. Short compared to the men surrounding her with a slim frame, red hair, jade eyes, and the Lestrade blonde streak. Madison Lestrade, former Yard, transferred under mysterious circumstances to Philanthropy, good with a knife, another stealth agent. Unmarried, no children, lives with Otacon and Snake.
Beth Lestrade stood a good three feet from Holmes with a cool air of distain surrounding her. Cat watched her cousin but really could have cared less what Beth's problem was.
"Would you four follow us," Holmes ordered. None of them disagreed they all just wanted to get this mission over with and go home. Holmes led them through labyrinth that was Scotland Yard and Cat could tell they were going to Grayson's office unless he had moved. Holmes opened a door and they all entered.
Grayson stood up and greeted them, "Thank you all for coming."
Like we had a choice,
Cat thought."Madison, I would like to thank you especially for coming," Grayson continued, "I know you would rather gnaw your own arm off than see this place again."
"Not true," Cat said lying; she wasn't going to give Beth any reason to bawl her out yet.
"So why are we here?" Snake asked cutting through all pleasantries.
"We received a tip that there is some terrorist activity," Grayson told him unsurprised by his straightforwardness, "and we were told it is the Shala---Shala---"
"Shalashaska," Holmes said for the struggling Chief.
"Yes, them," Grayson said.
"How reliable is the source?" Raiden asked.
Grayson scratched his head. "We're not really sure. His name is Fredrick Mitchell and we'll be damned if we can find anything on him."
"Is he about six-foot tall, red hair, brown eyes, thin as a rail and lots of freckles?" Raiden asked.
Grayson nodded.
"He's reliable," Raiden said, "if he's who I think he is."
"How would you know?" Cat asked.
"I trained with a guy named Mitchell," Raiden told her. "He was originally from London."
Cat nodded and turned back to Grayson. "Where are they?"
"Down in the port," Grayson said, "their tanker is in the business section in dock 236."
"Another tanker," Snake muttered.
"More water," Otacon moaned.
"What is it with these people and water?" Raiden asked.
Cat smiled at the three bemoaning men and said, "At least we won't be freezing."
Snake glared at Cat who just smirked.
~~~~~~
"All right, I was wrong," Cat said as Snake pointed his gun at her for the second time that day. "I forgot how cold England could get." Cat, Snake, and Raiden were staked out on top of a building with binoculars, Cat's were heat seeking. Otacon was waiting for them in the car.
Three Codecs went off. "All right, guys," Otacon said, "anything?"
"No," Snake said. "But then again, I would see more if my eyes weren't frost bitten---"
"And the fog was thinner than pea soup," Cat added.
"All right," Otacon huffed, "I get it. It's a bad night---"
"Try 'shitty night' or 'fucked up night'," Cat said.
"How about a 'fucked up shitty night'?" Raiden supplied.
"OKAY!" Otacon yelled causing everybody to wince. "It will only be another hour until Holmes and Lestrade get here, just hold out a little while longer." Otacon cut the connection.
Snake looked back through his binoculars out onto the river or tried to see through the fog to look back out on the river. "This could be worse, I suppose," he said.
Raiden and Cat both looked at him as if he had grown an extra head.
"I mean, we could be back in Alaska or the middle of the ocean or even back home sitting on a couch watching TV," Snake said. "At least this way we are doing something."
"True," Raiden conceded. "For you at least, I could be at home with my wife and daughter."
Suddenly two guns were pointed at him. "Shut up, Snowy Locks," Cat said.
"Sorry, I forgot you two don't have lives," Raiden said snickering.
"Sitting at home with the Old Lady and kid don't count as a life," Snake told him. "That's purgatory."
"Amen," Cat agreed.
Raiden rolled his eyes and looked back at the blurry shape of the ship they were staking out.
"Anything out there?" Cat asked.
"Just a ship and fog," Raiden told her.
"Great," Cat said lifting her binoculars. There was no one on deck and the heat sensors picked up nothing below deck.
"You got anything?" Snake asked.
"Nada." Cat sighed. This would be a really long hour.
~~~~~~
Cat was humming when her Codec went off.
"They're here," Otacon told them in a singsong voice.
"THANK SHINIGAMI!" Cat yelled. Snake and Raiden winced but nodded none the less, even though neither had a clue who Shinigami.
"I don't think Duo Maxwell had much to do with this," Otacon said.
Cat smiled. "Shows what you know, I've been humming, 'Kitto, I'm Okay' for five minutes, wishing to get out of here. He must've heard me butchering his image song out of boredom."
"That bad?" Otacon asked.
"That bored," Snake said.
Otacon smiled. "They're on their way up and I just switched out with Watson. Let's get back to the hotel."
"Okay, I've got to call Rose," Raiden said.
Cat's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Why don't you just use the Codec?" she asked.
"Rose's is on the fritz. If we aren't within a hundred miles of each other the messages don't come through," Raiden explained. Cat nodded and cut the connection.
~~~~~~
Holmes and Lestrade walked briskly up the stairs.
"You really don't like Madison do you?" Holmes asked.
"What was your first clue?" Lestrade asked back sarcastically.
Holmes looked coolly at her. "I don't need your attitude tonight," he told her.
"Then here's some advice," Lestrade said, "if you don't want attitude, don't ask me about Madison... as a matter of fact, don't ask about any of my family." Lestrade didn't say another word.
Holmes opened the door and saw Snake, Raiden, and Cat sitting there still watching the boat.
Cat turned to look at Holmes. "You can't see a thing out there," she told him as she stood up and placed the infrared binoculars in their case. "If there is anyone on board, they are staying below the main deck."
Raiden and Snake packed their binoculars up and headed for the door.
"Stay warm," Snake said as he headed down.
Raiden smiled and said, "We sure didn't."
"I think I stayed warmer when we went to Russia, Snake," Cat remarked following them down the stairs.
"There's a reason for that," Snake said smirking; Raiden blushed.
Cat looked at Raiden. "OH COME ON! You've got a kid, there's no way you've got virgin ears."
~~~~~~
"Yes, I love you, too," Raiden was saying as Cat walked out of the bathroom in her robe after her shower.
Cat sat down next to Snake who was cleaning his gun. "He's still on the phone with Rose?"
"Yep," Snake said. "His kid's got diaper rash, Rose is PMSing, and if Raiden says 'I love you' one more time, I'm declaring him officially whipped."
"Yes, Rose, I love you," Raiden said.
Snake looked at Cat and made the sound of a whip cracking.
"Bow down and lick my boots," Cat remarked
"I had such hope for him," Snake told her.
Raiden looked up from the bedspread he was studying at both of them and flipped them the bird while saying, "Yes, Rose; I'll be home soon... Okay, I'll call you tomorrow. Bye, love you."
Snake smiled at Cat as Raiden hung the phone up. "I love you," Snake said.
"I love you more," Cat said.
"I love you more than you love me."
"I love you more than you love me."
"Oh, darling," Snake said adopting a soap opera tone, "let's not fight over whom loves whom the most."
Cat lay back with the back of her hand on her forehead. "You're right, Pooky, ravish me! Show me your love!"
Raiden scoffed. "Got to hell."
"Come to Eden! (1)" Cat said smiling.
"You are just as much a gamer as Otacon," Snake told her.
Cat smiled and sat up. "Is there anyway else to be?"
"Yeah," Raiden said, "you could be a porn freak like Snake."
"True," Cat replied.
Snake opened his mouth to say something in his defense when the phone rang. "Probably Rose," Snake said.
"Shut up!" Raiden yelled throwing a pillow at him. "Hello?" he said answering the phone. "Right... right... we'll be there." Raiden hung the phone up and looked at Cat and Snake. "A Yardie spotted Revolver Ocelot at an up-scale establishment. We are going to check it out tomorrow."
~~~~~~
(1)- Go to Hell... Come to Eden is out of an ad for a computer game called "Project Eden".