(I feel a bit sick and I hope I don't puke. This flu season has been quite brutal. Anyways, I really really really really really really want to invent a time machine. Help, I'm losing my mind. Anyways, I own nothing and I hope you enjoy. God bless you all and stay healthy.)
Nea was not like other people. He whined and complained about everything. He took more than he gave. He cared far too much about all the wrong stuff. His elders called him anything from special to a massive man brat.
Nea retained the air and personality of a small child but he developed the eccentricity and cunning intelligence of an adult far too early in his life.
Nea knew exactly how to play people, to manipulate them and gain their trust for his own gain. Despite this, he never wanted to be lied to. Being tricked even once was enough to have him shun someone for a week.
Nea was intuitive and observant. He was like a war tactician with even the most mundane of tasks and yet when it came to emotions, he hardly understood his own, much less the emotions of others. He was more likely to provide a way of fixing a problem instead of the comfort desired by the recepucant.
Nea was different. It was almost as though he lived on another planet, a hateful space alien or as many liked to call him, a massive man brat. He was problematic, unsympathetic and difficult to be around.
Nea knew all these things. He knew that these were just words, but that didn't hold back the tears that fell from his eyes when no one was looking.
Yes, it was true. The so very cold and robotic Nea cried when people said mean things about him. It bothered him that it affected him, and yet that didn't lessen the wound.
Yes, it angered Nea that he wasn't like other kids just as much as it bothered his peres. When he missed things or made a large mistake, he noticed more than anyone else, and it only made him hate himself all the more.
Sometimes he would catch sight of those knowledgeable extraverted social butterflies, how they understood moods, how they felt genuine feelings for people, how they could keep calm under stress, how they didn't cry themselves to sleep out of ungrounded fear during thunderstorms, and how strong and knowledgeable they were in all things.
These good unbroken people came in many forms. Some were pretty Chinese girls named Lenalee, some were sly and sneaky portuguese men named Tyki. Either way, they worked so well, one might think they were flying and everytime, Nea always found himself overcome with envy.
These people who could read people's thoughts and hide their own under unbreakable masks were so cool, so smooth and perfect, their every cog and coil perfectly in place and it bothered him to no end.
He felt like an idiot and it did not feel good to be an idiot. Why couldn't he feel beautiful and cool on the inside? Why was he so repulsive? Why couldn't he ever get his way?
Why?
He'd always ask himself these questions when he'd lay in an empty bed at night, biting his pillow in hopes no one would hear him.
So lonely, so pathetic, so ugly in the sight of everyone.
There he'd cry all alone in his bed.
That is, of course, until someone joins him, laying beside him like he were meant to be there.
Of course. Mana.
Mana was always there, wasn't he? He always looked, always thought, always felt. Mana had the potential to be a social butterfly, as his mind made perfect sense but he willingly made the decision to stay on the ground and comfort Nea on sorrowful nights like this.
Perhaps they had something in common, perhaps Mana was also broken, perhaps Mana was the only one who understood, the only one who loved him unconditionally for who he truly was, the only one who didn't expect anything more or anything less than what Nea had to give, the only one who always believed in him and trusted him, the only one who knew how he cried on nights like these and never laughed.
Even if the reason for crying was because of one measly wrong answer on some test.
Mana pulled his arms around his brother's back to hug him from behind.
"I bet they are the ones that are idiots." Mana whispered, "I bet Cluj Napoca is the capital of Romania and the fact you knew so just called them out on their mistake. I bet they are just embarrassed that they are the real idiots and not you."
Perhaps it didn't matter..
If Mana loved him, how ugly could he be?
Who cared what other people said, anyway?
Without a second thought, Nea turned over to lean into the embrace.
For a few seconds, he found he could breathe freely and soon enough, the two fell asleep in each others arms.
Good night.
Even a fate so mild,Belongs to every man, woman and child.To the weak this very bliss travels quick.Quickened by the clocks fervent tick.With, the brilliant smile is slick.Pulsating flesh housed toss out the brick.Sane minds turn all the more wild.A mundane sanity so carefully styled.They smile with truth genuine.I know they do not lie.But if time returned and the choice made again,I would still yet bid you goodbye.Perhaps my prayers echo.Maybe my armour is thrown away.I will walk this untraveled road,Alone I will stay.That succulent smile was never meant to bode.Perhaps this is how it feels to let go.