July 10, 2009

Not Stupid

While Cameron and Chase were still on House's team…

Chase smiled as he caught a cool summer breeze in the park across town from PPTH. He came here often, mainly to just sit and people-watch. Today was a particularly nice and sunny day; and the park was bustling with people young and old, families large and small, pets wild and tame. It was a Thursday, but Cuddy had demanded that House's team take advantage of some much-needed vacation time. To nobody's surprise, though, she had also demanded that House take the opportunity to complete some clinic time, which he did with not a little reluctance.

Chase took a seat on a bench near the fountain, which was nearly deserted for once. As he scanned the area for activity, something caught his eye. He knew that blouse. It did wonders in bringing out Allison Cameron's striking river-blue eyes. Her hair was in a low ponytail, a rare hairstyle for the diligent doctor. When she turned her head to look off into the distance, though, something strange was in her expression. As best Chase could guess, his coworker was in considerable emotional pain. The sun glinted off of a tear that slid slowly down her cheek, confirming his suspicion. She wiped it away quickly. Her body shook as she sat on the side of the fountain and allowed herself to sob. It crushed Chase's heart to see her like that, to discover that she was suffering behind his back. What was worse, she found it necessary to suffer alone. Chase knew she could not go on like that… he would not let her. He had to ease her pain, even if she pushed him away for it.

With a deep breath, Chase stood and slowly approached Cameron. He stopped at her side, laying a gentle hand on her petite shoulder. She looked up, startled, and struggled to remove all evidence of her distress. He gazed into her eyes, stroking her shoulder with his thumb. "Don't stop," he pleaded. "There's no reason to be embarrassed. Everybody needs to cry sometimes."

"This is stupid," she complained with a sad smile.

"What, it's stupid to be human? Or it's stupid that I care? Either way, I can't really agree with you."

Another tear escaped. "It's stupid that I can't let go of my past… that I'm afraid to let go… of anything!!" She looked away from Chase, studying a penny resting under the water a few feet away. "It's stupid that I'm afraid of… such… stupid things." A mix of disgust and anger faded into pure sadness and disappointment as Cameron's breath became shaky again.

Chase leaned a little in order to keep Cameron's face in view. "When you let go of one thing, you need something else to grab onto. That's what relationships are for – friends, family…"

"No," Cameron protested, her voice full of tears. "I can't put that kind of burden on anybody."

Chase sat facing Cameron, sliding his hand down her arm to take her hand in his. "Allie." She lifted her eyes to meet his, wiping away another tear. "You can't carry this burden alone. It's too heavy."

"Then I'll let it kill me quietly. I can't let it hurt anybody else."

"Too late."

"What?"

"You, of all people, would know what it feels like to watch somebody you care about suffer."

Cameron's face turned red, and she jumped to her feet. "Chase!!" She was angry, but Chase, for once, didn't care. He held firmly onto her hand.

"I care about you… a lot. I wish you would trust me. I- I want you to be able to confide in me. I want to be there for you."

He was pleading; she could see it in his eyes. He meant it. For the umpteenth time that afternoon, she let out a sob. "I want that, too," she choked out. She took a deep breath, but it only yielded another sob. At last, she gave in to her emotions as Chase pulled her into his lap and a tight, comforting embrace. "I'm so stupid," she mumbled into his chest.

Chase smiled at the magnitude of her misconception. "No," he retorted. "You are a lot of things, Allie, but definitely not stupid."