Lilies and Lionesses

by QueenOfThePolarBears

Chapter 29: Temeraire AU. In which Hashirama accidentally finds herself Captaining a dragon during the Napoleonic Wars. A drabble and oneshot collection featuring a female Hashirama and a female Madara. Mainly fem!HashiMada. Mostly loosely or completely unconnected. Characters, pairings, and warnings at the top of each chapter. Open to prompts and requests. Crossposted from AO3.

1. In Which There Is Confusion And Izuna

Written 04/23/2015

Idea from satiny-angle for "AU with fem!Madara where Izuna is forced to explain that no, he is not Madara, because the civilian population can never figure out if Madara is a guy or a girl so they just automatically assume that it must be Izuna instead".

Characters: Izuna, Fem!Madara

Pairings: None.

Warnings: None.

There they are, the two remaining Uchiha siblings, the heirs to one of the greatest clans in the land of Fire, scourges of the battlefield, the two people that young Senju's have nightmares about, facing down the terrifying task that was picking up food supplies for the next week.

Madara has her arms crossed as per usual, small breasts bound flat and hidden by the traditional male attire of their clan, hair a mess, and scowl etched on her face as she stands near the door, and on the other side of the room is Izuna, smiling as politely as he can at the old lady and her giggling daughters as they pack up the order of fresh food. The old lady turns to look at Madara quickly, a small frown on her face as she looks over Izuna's older sister, before turning his way, looking between the two for a few seconds, before turning his way with a smile again.

"Now then Madara-sama," she begins and Izuna barely resists the urge to groan. He's never sure if he should laugh or what whenever this happens (Madara usually just wants to hit something whenever it does, and that something just so happens to be him most of the time unfortunately).

"I'm not Madara." He says simply, before pointing at his sister.

"That's Madara." The old lady blinks again, squinting at his sister and Izuna wonders if they can just leave now before it gets any worse. He can practically hear Madara's teeth grinding from across the room.

"... But everyone knows that Madara-sama is an accomplished shinobi and well..." Izuna feels the intense need to bash his face against something hard. Preferably a brick wall. Why were they the ones stuck picking up this shipment? Oh right, it was nearly in Senju territory, that's why. He pastes his small, polite smile back on his face while Madara growls almost inaudibly. He hopes she can keep her temper in check until they at least get home.

"Madara is one of the most accomplished shinobi there is." He says blandly, and the old lady leans in to whisper conspiratorially, obviously not knowing that Madara can hear her loud and clear.

"But... I think that that person is, well, a woman, Uchiha-sama, and there's no way that Madara-sama can be a woman, right? Those rumors have to be false." The old lady looks scandalized at the mere thought of it and Izuna has to close his eyes and count to three because yup, Madara's pissed now, and she's going to take it out on him when they get back to the camp. Thanks old lady, he thinks sourly, see if I ever do anything nice for an old person ever again.

"That is very much so, Uchiha Madara. Now, if you'd be so kind as to finish with our order so we may go..." He trails off and prays that the twitching of Madara's right eye is just a trick of the light, please let it be that.

The old lady is definitely scandalized now, and she sniffs in disapproval, and makes sure to ignore Madara's presence now as she hands everything over to Izuna who pays and quickly shepherds his older sister out of the store, handing her half of the supplies to keep her arms full, and even quicker out of the town before he lets a snicker escape because yup, her eye is twitching, and he's going to regret this, but oh well.

"It's not funny!" She snaps, and he can't help but laugh even more at the situation, almost tripping as they make their way through the trees.

"That is the fourth time this week that somebody thought you were me dammit!" And it's a good thing they're running now with their arms full or she'd have slapped him upside the head by now.

"Yeah, but it's only because they can never figure out if you're a guy or a girl that they just assume that it has to be me who's Madara instead because they can tell that I'm male." And oh he's going to get it when he gets home judging by her glare, but it is so worth it to see civilians try and figure out on their own if the rumors about the Uchiha heir actually being female are true or not (after all, it's not his fault that nobody in their family outright says that she is).