Fionna's POV
I sighed deeply, rolling onto my side and staring at the blades on my bedside table, glancing between them and the nearly-healed marks on my wrists. I was on a two month streak, wasn't about to break it.
I got up from the bed and stretched. My back cracked loudly as I did.
I lifted my black pyjama top over my head and took off the loose pants, walking into the bathroom and stepping into the shower, making sure my black towel was nearby.
After getting dressed into a loose-fitting black sheer blouse and a raven miniskirt, I picked up my hairbrush and brushed my now-black hair.
Cake had died two years ago. I was seventeen now, and still depressed as hell. I mean, last year, when her death was still fresh, I tried to commit suicide, jumping off a bridge, but luckily was saved by an ebullient Marshall Lee, and managed to cover it up as me falling, rather than jumping.
I'd then basically gone emo. My hair had been dyed, my clothes all traded from blue to black, my demon sword given back to the demon and traded for a smaller black ebonite one. The Enchiridion had long since disintegrated, meaning I didn't have to carry a backpack.
Every morning I would go to the Candy Kingdom and complete dumb quests for Gumball, but never anything harder than cleaning up the candy litter. He knew Cake was really the only one who could help me. And so, I lived on candy litter and candy criminals, helping Gumball and his wife Licorice, who both probably pitied me terribly.
The candy people still treated me as their hero. They just thought I was in mourning from Cake's death. They didn't know about the days when I cut, the days of knife storms.
You see, Cake died in a knife storm. She was on her way to Lord Monochromicorn's place when it struck. I didn't know, I thought she was fine, until it cleared and, after two days, I went out looking for her, and found her pinned to a tree by a knife, mouth frozen mid-scream, eyes staring and blank, and dried blood everywhere.
That day, I finished off her scream. I did it so loud I summoned both Gumball and Marshall Lee to my spot, before I sank to the ground, thinking It's all my fault over and over again.
Anyway, today I decided to go to Marshall's old house for absolutely no reason. I just... felt nostalgic.
I began to head out, hopping onto Mangoberry, my horse, and urging her into the forest nearby. She obediently trotted off, while I pulled a random book out of her saddlebags and whispered into her ear, "Marshall's house." She kept going, even as I let go of the reins and started reading.
The book was called Songs of the Devil and was full of lyrics to songs I'd never heard of. If I recalled correctly, Marshall gave me this book, and I haven't seen him since.
In the back of the book I found, once I'd memorised every lyric and made up a tune to every song, a note from Marshall.
Listen, Fionna, I know you're bummed about Cake. But, really, you shouldn't be so down on yourself. It was not your fault. You are so wrong about yourself, Fionna. You are strong, beautiful and brave, some things I never was. And, really, would Cake want you to be depressed over her?
I gave you this book as a going away present. I'm leaving, and you probably will never see me again. But I'll see you. There's another gift at my house waiting for you. It was something special to me, and something I could hardly bear to part with. But, if I'm right about you, then it is now yours.
Fionna, I can truly say that, as a friend, I love you.
I blushed at the last words.
Mangoberry suddenly stopped and whinnied. I looked up from the note to see Marshall's house, somewhere I hadn't been in a year, since he left. I reached for the door knob and opened the door. I stepped inside and gasped at the thing in the middle of the floor.
Marshall's bass.
He must have left it for me. It must be the other gift.
I picked it up and another note fell to the floor. All it said was:
It's enchanted to harmonise with your voice and the tune to the song, so you don't even have to know how to play. I didn't.
I chuckled and strummed a note, smiling at the nostalgia.
I pulled out the Songs of the Devil book and started to sing a random song.
"When I was a young boy,
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band.
He said, "Son when you grow up,
would you be the saviour of the broken,
the beaten and the damned?"
He said "Will you defeat them,
your demons, and all the non-believers,
the plans that they have made?"
"Because one day I'll leave you,
A phantom to lead you in the summer,
To join The Black Parade."
When I was a young boy,
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band.
He said, "Son when you grow up,
would you be the saviour of the broken,
the beaten and the damned?"
Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me.
And other times I feel like I should go.
And through it all, the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets.
And when you're gone we want you all to know.
We'll carry on,
We'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And in my heart I can't contain it
The anthem won't explain it.
A world that sends you reeling from decimated dreams
Your misery and hate will kill us all.
So paint it black and take it back
Let's shout it loud and clear
Defiant to the end we hear the call
To carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated
Your weary widow marches
On and on we carry through the fears
Ooh oh ohhhh
Disappointed faces of your peers
Ooh oh ohhhh
Take a look at me cause I could not care at all
Do or die, you'll never make me
Because the world will never take my heart
Go and try, you'll never break me
We want it all, we wanna play this part
I won't explain or say I'm sorry
I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scar
Give a cheer for all the broken
Listen here, because it's who we are
I'm just a man, I'm not a hero
Just a boy, who had to sing this song
I'm just a man, I'm not a hero
I! don't! care!
We'll carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated
Your weary widow marches on
Do or die, you'll never make me
Because the world will never take my heart
Go and try, you'll never break me
We want it all, we wanna play this part.
Do or die, you'll never make me.
Because the world will never take my heart.
Go and try, you'll never break me.
We want it all, we wanna play this part."
In green writing across the top, someone wrote, "You can do it, Fi!"
I grinned and started to sing the same song again, practising it until it was perfect.
**Thanks to 'Welcome to the Black Parade' by My Chemical Romance for making an appearance in this chapter! One of the greatest songs in history! Well, for me, anyway.**