Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related, the lovely SM does. I just like to toy with the characters a bit ;)
A/N: Okay guys, this is a one shot I did, it's been ages since I've done anything, so PLEASE be gentle on me! :) I have no Beta as of yet, so this is strictly me..yikes!
I do plan to post more one shots on here, so stay tuned! The song I listened to while writing "My Love" - Sia
I like to dedicate this to my Kitty Cait and J Rock 3
Life Intended
Yesterday was her 58th birthday, it was a bittersweet milestone; happy to have lived another day yet it marked forty years since he left. Bella wrapped her arm around her abdomen, keeping herself together while she let herself slip and think about him for a brief moment. She rubbed her eyes warily as she took off her glasses, placing them on the stacks of books on the night stand. Resting her head back on the propped pillows, she listened to the hushed whispers of the evening breeze rustle the curtains. Tonight felt different, she could feel it depths of her soul. Absorbing the fall's mystic breeze, a faint smile crossed her face as she embraced the feeling and sighed quietly.
There was a sudden shift in the wind; her heart hammered as if she were a teenager again, recognizing the familiarity of this shift. With her eyes still closed, she inhaled deeply, "Edward" she faintly whispered.
"Bella." His velvet voice replied with a hint of strain.
"I was wondering if you would come, took you long enough." Her eyes fluttered as she began to examine the ageless beauty before her.
He winced as several facial expressions crossed his face before he gathered himself and spoke to her for the first time in forty years. "My apologies," his smooth, cold hands picked up one of hers, planting a gentle kiss on her fragile hand. "I came as soon as I could." He nuzzled his face into her palm and inhaled her essence, kissing her wrist as he whispered, "La tua cantante." Edward thought of this moment since the afternoon he walked away from her in the woods. He left to protect her, to give her the chance to live a life that she deserved.
Bella's aged hands cupped Edward's perfect marble face. "My dreams do you no justice; you look even more beautiful than I remembered." She faintly chuckled as she chewed the inside of her bottom lip, trying to keep the conversation light. His eyes gave him away; he was a man that was burning from the inside out. They were nearly black, with dark circles surrounding them. "You aren't feeding enough are you?" She asked, her finger tips grazing over his eyes down to his perfectly defined jaw.
He disregarded her question as he forced a painful smile, as he sat carefully at the foot of her bed. "Forgive my Bella, please. I have to explain." His entire body trembled as he moved closer towards her.
"There's nothing to forgive." She spoke with such tenderness in her voice. She had forgiven him a couple of years after he left, the moment she learned to live for herself and was given a chance to love again. She eventually understood why he left and gained a sense of peace when it came to Edward.
"How can you say that after I lied to you, leaving you like that? It was blasphemy, all of it!" He became rigid, "I don't deserve your mercy."
"You left me.." she started, clutching her chest with one hand and wrapping her other arm tighter around her body.
"Bella, please, I'm so.." Edward started with hint of hysterics in his voice.
"No. You will let me finish, you owe me that much." Bella glared down into his black eyes that she once knew and still loved. "You left me and eventually I accepted it. Jacob was the one who picked up the remaining pieces of me and pieced me together again as if I were Humpty Dumpty." She paused, allowing a smile to spread to her eyes. She saw the pain that crossed his face as his eyes met hers, refusing to feel guilt she continued. "And I loved him for it. But all good things come to an end and bring us down another path." She intertwined her fingers through his. "You – Edward, you gave me love, more love than one could possibly endure in a lifetime. With that, you taught me to love…" Her perfect, aged lips smiled as she lit up thinking about her next choice of words.
"Jacob gave me life, not once, but twice and taught me to live, and to see things in a new perspective. Both of you are significant in my life Edward. And you both presented me with things in my life that no other human being could ever grasp. Even with everything mystical including, it helped shape me into the person I am now. I have to admit, I've done well for myself. I survived, I've loved," she raised her index finger to Edward's chin, his eyes meeting hers, "and more importantly, I've lived a beautiful life. I've lived with no regrets." Her heart fluttered, as tears of joy ran down her now flushed cheeks.
Edward nodded solemnly, he missed her blush and brilliant smile. He was consumed with needing to know the woman she had become, the person that she grew into. He studied the pictures around her room, pictures of Bella and a group of boys he later learned was "the pack", her and Jacob Black, and a few random ones of her throughout the years with her parents decorated the walls.
An internal war began as Edward got up to study the rest of the photos carefully. She lived, that's what he wanted for her, to grow up and live a life that he couldn't give her. Instead, Jacob Black gave it to her. Leave it to Bella to find another mystical creature and run with werewolves, he shuddered.
A blown up photo caught his attention, a streak of pain and jealous stabbed through his still heart as he gasped for unnecessary air, bracing his hands on the wall for support. Bella cradled a newborn in her arms tenderly, beaming down at it as Jacob Black watched over them in awe. "Amazing." He simply mumbled as he lightly traced hers and the newborn's face in the photo. He left knowing and wanting Bella to have this opportunity in life, a million mixed emotions filled him at once; pain, jealousy, pure joy, bliss, love, satisfaction, the combination of emotions hit him like a ton of bricks.
He sighed as he another photograph caught his attention, his Bella holding a russet toddler that was placing a small kiss on the tip of her nose as her long thick lashes rested upon her blush filled cheeks in this one. Her eyes were closed but her smile spoke of true happiness. There were more random ones with the same child throughout the years.
"He's beautiful, isn't he?" Bella's voice cooed with adoration. Turning to meet her gaze, Edward simply nodded. "He looks just like his father, acts like him too." She chuckled.
"He's beautiful like his mother." Edward whispered.
"Oh." She sighed, a mixture of sadness and relief washed over her face. "I thought you knew. Jacob Black and I didn't marry or have a child for that matter." She shifted in bed, staring at the photos. "He ended up imprinting the night before our wedding, talk about bad timing." She forced a weak smile.
"Bella, I had no idea. I didn't know. You were going to marry him?" He stammered.
She nodded, "I was hurt at the very beginning, but in the end I was happy for Jake and Sophia. I knew it was out of his control and that there was always a possibility of him imprinting. So we chose to accept what is and made a vow to remain friends. After he imprinted, I pretty much became his sister." The thought of her old friend made her eyes twinkle. "Did I tell you that I was his best man in their wedding and that that little one there is my godson? No of course I didn't. But how absurd is that?" She chuckled.
She handed Edward a picture from the night stand. "This here is Alexander William Black, my godson." Her fingers traced the baby's cheek in the photo. "He's still in La Push, and he makes an extraordinary Alpha. I knew he would, his father was one of the best." Bella beamed, letting her light shine from within. "Alex and some of the old and new pack members come to visit me often. He's amazing Edward, you'd like him, he's very compassionate, reminds me of Carlisle, but a wolf version of course."
"You appear attached to him" Edward observed, not taking his face off his Bella. To him, she would always be beautiful and aged to perfection.
Her face crumbled, "Sophia was my best friend, aside from Jake. She was the sister I never had, she was like a breath of fresh air for me Edward." She swallowed back tears that were threatening to fall. "One night she was coming home from Sequim, I was watching Alex while Jake was patrolling and it started storming pretty bad. The rabbit wasn't the safest vehicle, but she insisted on driving it everywhere." Bella paused, "Charlie and the authorities said her car must have hydroplaned and slid off the side of the cliff. I don't understand, she was the safest driver. Alex was barely a couple months old, he never knew his mother" She sobs came hard, causing her to gasp.
Edward pulled Bella into him, rocking her slowly until her breathing slowed. "Shh, it's okay." He tried to soothe her as tucked her back into bed.
"Bella, I had no idea. No one told me." Edwards face crumbled. "I should have been there. Would you like to talk about him?" Edward nodded towards a wooden carved wolf on a shelf. "What happened to Jacob if you don't mind me asking?"
She wiped a tear from the corner or her eye, afraid to let Edward see her mourn her best friend. "There's not much to say, Sophia passed away and Jacob and I raised Alex together with the help of the pack, nothing romantic between us though. I tried my best to raise him the way Sophia would have wanted and told him stories of her." She paused. "Jake was attacked while on patrol and was bitten about eight years ago. Apparently venom is pure poison to the shape shifters, less than an hour later, his heart stopped." She whispered as clutched her chest and wrapped her arm abdomen yet again. "As for Alex and the others, they still phase to protect the lands."
Edward glanced down, feeling remorse for Jacob. He was the one that had resurrected his Bella and gave her life, a meaningful life. He felt every need to mourn his life.
Countless minutes had passed while he held Bella, both had embraced the quiet and become lost in thoughts until her heart faltered only for a slight millisecond, but Edward's perfect hearing missed nothing. Quickly feeling the urge of grief he changed the subject. His eyes darted to the ring on her right hand and back towards her deep pools of chocolate eyes. Knowing his time was limited, Edward continued. "Please tell me about your life. What did you do with yourself? Did you ever marry? What was your career? I need to know." There was a sense of urgency in his voice.
"No I never married, honestly I keep this on this finger as a reminder of you. It reminds me of your eyes and it remains on this hand as a reminder of my love for you. Some things never fade away no matter how much we try." She told Edward about how she ended up finishing University of Washington and backpacked through Europe to continue her studies in art and history. She mastered Italian and French fluently after a couple of years being there and worked in a museum as an art director. She experienced every breath taking moment as if it were her first and last. She admitted to once hoping to run into the Volturi, while in Italy but decided she would keep her promise to Edward and continue on her adventure. She never dated anyone seriously, she was too busy with her studies and exploring life. She returned home to be with Jacob, Sophia and later, Alexander, settling into life in La Push, becoming a History and English literature teacher on the reservation.
His heart broke that she sought out the Volturi, but he didn't fault her, he would do the same thing after she takes her last breath. "I love you Bella. I always had." He breathed.
"I've never stopped loving you Edward." She breathlessly replied, blinking heavily. "After this, I want you to promise me something."
"No, there will be no promises." he firmly stated.
Ignoring him, she continued, "I need you to go on Edward. I've lived my life, and it was a beautiful one, every human life comes to an end." Edward sucked in his breathe, shaking his head in disbelief. He did not want to have this conversation. "You will find someone that will make your sky light up with the brightest stars and brighten your soul." She stated.
Shaking his head, he refused to listen. "No, you are the meteor that lights up my moonless nights. There will be no other."
"Correction, I was the one. It's time to go on and make yourself happy." She sighed. Half of her wished so badly she could be forever young with him rather than having this conversation. The other half of her needed both of them to have their closure of reality.
"You know that's not possible, I can't exist where you don't." he implied.
She shuttered at the thought of Edward ending his life. "I can't control what you do after I'm gone, I can only give you my advice. Go, be happy. I release you from your torturous prison Edward."
"Do you really want me happy?" he asked.
"Of course, more than anything." She said without a doubt.
"Marry me Bella." He swallowed as he pulled out an oval gold ring filled with diamonds.
"You don't want me, look at me, I'm old and dying." She peered at him then gasping at the beautiful ring.
''I always want you, you will always be my beautiful Bella." He slipped the ring over her left ring finger. His still heart swelled as he placed a promising kiss over both of her rings. Knowing Bella would understand he quoted Romeo. "If I profane with my unworthiest hand. This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."
Her eyes widened, tears threatening to fall. "Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, Which mannerly devotion shows in this; For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, And palm to palm is holy palmers kiss." Edward kissed her carefully and passionately, in their hearts, he just married the love of his entire existence before God and all the above stars.
The next several hours were filled with casual talk and how they would live their lives together. Both knew it wouldn't go past tonight, but for the sake of humoring one another, they both played along. The conversation eventually strayed into silence, but comfortable silence.
Finally Edward was the first to speak up as he placed his hand over her heart. He felt the unusual thuds in her chest. "Does it hurt?"
"Yes." She couldn't lie. "Some days are worse than others. But it's mostly tolerable."
"Bella, I'm sorry." Edward hoarsely whispered.
"I'm not." She whispered faintly, quickly growing tired and almost incoherent now.
Edward knew the time was near. Nodding to himself, he knew what he had to do. Crawling into bed with her, he tucked her securely with her comforter to make sure she didn't become any colder with his body next to hers. She positioned herself on his chest, bringing back memories, Edward would come through her window and lay with her at night. As if on cue, he started to hum her lullaby. Holding her closer, he concentrated on her lullaby rather than her faltering heart that was giving out on her.
She smiled to herself as she listened, allowing the last of her tears to fall freely. "I'll wait for you, always and forever Edward Cullen." With a sigh, she closed her eyes and freed herself. She was finally at peace.
Edward continued to finish the lullaby. His life no longer had meaning. He laid with her until he couldn't bare it any longer, trembling as he moved carefully moved her off him and peacefully tucked in. "Always and forever Bella Cullen…always and forever." Edward choked on tearless sobs.
Crouching in the window seal before leaping into his fate, he turned to face her one last time. "O, here Will I set up my everlasting rest, and shake the yoke of inauspicious stars from this world wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last. Arms, take your last embrace and, lips, O you The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss. A dateless bargain to engrossing death."
Epilogue
The darkness surrounded him as he cautiously tread forward, absorbing his surroundings. This was all so surreal yet very familiar to him. At the end of the dark, brushy tunnel was a faint light. He wanted to stop but couldn't bring himself to go back, not now. There was some sort of pull that was urging him forward.
As he peered at the edge of the shrub, the bright light grew blinding and brilliant with the most exquisite colors and sounds within it. Shielding his eyes, he slowly took one step, allowing his eyes to adjust. He felt alien to himself, his skin tingled as he absorbed the sunlight but didn't sparkle. He couldn't help but laugh a loud to himself, he never felt more alive.
Something shifted in the corner of his peripheral vision, freezing in tracks, Edward registered everything instantly, his entire existence flashed before his eyes.
There she was in the clearing, sitting on her knees, humming her lullaby to herself while picking blue and purple flowers, creating a beautiful bouquet. She was bare foot, wearing a black form fitting dress, her brown curls in waves down her back. So natural, beautiful and at peace. Still sitting, she lifted her head to the sun with her eyes closed, smiling as wide as she can. "Edward." She sighed deeply, rubbing her left ring finger.
"Bella." He gasped, clutching his beating heart. Laughter filled the air as they ran towards one another. Edward was amazed, he ran at a humanly speed rather than a supernatural speed.
"I was wondering if you would come, what took you so long?" She threw her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her.
"My apologies for keeping you waiting." His soft, warms hands cupped her perfect heart shaped face, embracing her moist lips against his. "I came as soon as I could." He glanced around, experiencing de ja vu.
"You're eyes." Bella quietly rubbed her fingertips around the corners of his eyes. "They're green Edward." She giggled as her cheeks stained crimson. "So beautiful, even if you don't sparkle anymore." She hungrily pressed herself to meet his lips. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you more than you can imagine Bella." He managed between exploring one another's lips.
They laid in their meadow like old times, holding hands staring into one another's eyes. He inhaled her hair, it still smelled of strawberries. He rubbed her blushing skin with his thumb from her cheeks down her neck to her exposed collar bone.
"Is this it?" he smiled.
She nodded "It's were our journey began together and this is where it ends." She smiled, there was no remorse in her voice. "Come, it's time my love." She stood, reaching for his hand.
"I love you Bella Cullen." he whispered, taking her hand.
"Always and forever" she replied as they ended one journey and embarked onto their next path, embracing the beautiful light that was consuming them.
A/N: It means a lot that you've actually read this! You guys are amazing!
The image I had in mind during the Epilogue was the Vanity Fair shoot, here's the link! It's one of my all time favorite photo shoots of Kristen & Rob 3
.com/culture/features/2008/12/twilight_outtakes200812#slide=1