Disclaimer: I don't own Middle-Earth or any of Tolkien's characters, but they are so much fun to borrow!
At what point do our dreams become obsessions?
A collection of AU short stories.
It's almost time. Just one final experiment and I'll be ready.
It's a beautiful night. A night where anything could happen. The wind is still and the sky is clear. I pause a moment, looking at the evening star and remembering.
I enter a clearing. My horse is waiting, along with the provisions I requested. My favorite traveling cloak is folded neatly over the saddle. Haldir arranged everything perfectly; it is a pity I can't thank him. I walk on.
He's waiting by a tree, like I asked. "Where are you going, my lady?"
"For a walk, Haldir." Good. It's working. I smile and walk on. He doesn't see me when I return to the clearing.
The lightest of mental touches and he remembers only what I wish him to. The experiment was successful; it's time to see what else this Ring is capable of.
Even as my uncle challenged Morgoth, I pound on the Black gate and cry my challenge. The gates swing open. He stands before me now.
I've matched wills with Sauron before, but only from a distance. Now I have a chance for vengeance. "We meet at last." He looks at me like he's examining a piece of metalwork. "Your reputation doesn't do your beauty justice, or mention your resemblance to your brother." He would know. He had him killed!
I've been waiting for this for a long time.
I face Sauron confidently, raising my hand to block his attacks. Focusing on Finrod, I reach for the Ring's power to launch my own attack.
The One Ring lies at my feet! As I reach for it, his next attack knocks me backwards.
Only once before have I acted without caution or preparation. What madness possessed me this time? As he stands over me wearing the Ring, I doubt that I will get off so lightly again.
I am forced to kneel before him, wrists and ankles tightly bound and a heavy iron collar around my neck. That particular humiliation is spelled to keep my body and spirit together and reasonably intact through anything short of a fatal wound.
"Well-met and well-timed!" Sauron says. "I plan war and you know my enemies' secrets."
"I am no traitor! I will not yield to your torments and lying promises."
"I would not deal in lies if people did not prefer them to the truth."
He puts the Ring on and uses Nenya to penetrate my mind, shattering my barriers as if they were nothing. His search is almost leisurely; he lingers over anything that might prove useful or anything he finds amusing.
His idea of amusing is my idea of best-forgotten.
I will not give him Nenya. Although the interrogation has left me drained and he shall surely take my Ring by force, I will not give in to his command so lightly.
As he raises the One Ring, I find myself slipping Nenya off my finger.
He grabs my chin, forcing me to look at him, and I feel the Rings against my cheek. Never again will I hear Nenya's sweet song or feel the One's power flowing through me! What more can he do to me than this?
"Get her out of my sight!" he orders a Ringwraith. "Take her to the chambers of the forgotten."
I am in the dark, curled up with my chin on my knees; my cell is not big enough to unbend my legs or lift my head. I am not hungry or thirsty, thanks to the collar, though my mouth is dry. Slowly, I become aware of the cry; not a sound, exactly, but memories the stones hold of anguish too deep for words. Or of minds too pain-shattered to form them!
This is no cell, but a tomb!
You will not leave me here. You made sure I could not die; surely you will come soon and put me to torment. Fit payment for my folly.
Why the delay? I do not grow weaker. I am not afraid of this darkness. What is it I fear, then?
I have no weaknesses, no vulnerabilities. I stand alone, depending on no one. There are parts of myself that I withheld from Celeborn, even from Finrod. No one knows my mind as intimately as you have come to. Does the thought please you?
I can't stand this fear any longer! I built layers of defenses around it. I killed and betrayed to hide it.
Remind me I'm not alone. I need something to fight, someone other than myself to blame. Grant me just one last self-delusion. Let me pretend to be strong one more time. Let me pretend I didn't throw everything away for nothing.
Why do you not reply, Sauron?
Are you even listening?