This is the first of the prompts I have gotten. This is for RomanticInDenial and even though munyo just posted the same thing and did it so perfectly, here I go posting another one. Hopefully it isn't too horrible. RomanticInDenial, hope you enjoy this and I hope it's what you asked for LOL.
Regrets
He glanced to his right for a brief moment and watched as she made her way up the stairs. He dropped his head against the back of the couch and released a heavy sigh. This was bad. He trailed his thumb against his lips, savoring her taste, glad to have had it replace the taste that Max had left.
It was… strange. Just over a week ago, kissing Max would have been the hottest thing he could engage in, but now? He felt like a poison was raging through his veins.
Be grateful for what we do have.
Her words kept ringing in his ears and for the first time in his life he knew what being grateful actually meant. Growing up rich, having everything he ever dreamed of, surviving a brutal war… he never knew what being grateful meant until now, until he got stuck under the dome and got to wake up every morning with the beautiful, smart woman upstairs wrapped in his arms.
He also got to know what regret meant as well. Not only did he grow to know what it meant. He felt it, in every fiber of his being, all the regrets he'd been ignoring for years had suddenly come to haunt him, to weigh his shoulders down because he didn't deserve the beautiful, smart woman upstairs.
He regretted all his relationships with Max; both professional and personal. He regretted the "friendships" he had in Zenith. He regretted missing his mother's funeral, missing his only chance to say goodbye to the one person his valued most in his life. He regretted almost all his life before Julia.
He regretted lying to her.
He didn't regret that night in the middle of town, under the rain. He didn't regret any night after that.
Be grateful for what we do have.
He knew if he stayed on the couch, lamenting his past, his mistake, he will regret it later; regret not being upstairs with her.
He will regret a lot more when the truth comes out, but for now, he will be grateful for what he did have.
He went up the stairs, ran up the stair actually, and found her in bed, curled up under the covers and he could not help but smile.
She was the most precious thing that has ever to him and he intended to make her know that, in any way that he could. Stripping down to his boxers, he gently lifted the covers and crawled in next to her, the bed already warm with her scent. He took in a deep breath and remembered to be grateful. He moved in closer to her and she somehow sensed his presence. Her body shifted, arm came to wrap against his chest, face nuzzled in the crook of his neck and one leg wrapped around his. He felt his heart beat faster, emotions clench in his throat. He did not deserve this. He brought one arm under her and lifted her, effortlessly, bringing her almost completely on top of him and wrapped his arms around her, feeling her soft body on every inch of his, her heart beat calming his down and her breath sending shudders through his veins.
Be grateful. He sang her words as a mantra, trying to silence that other voice, the one that incessantly reminded him, you do not deserve this. You will regret this.
And then, he decided. It was not about what he deserved. This was about her. It was about what she deserved. And she deserved so much more. She deserved so much better.
She deserved the truth.