A/N: Hey everyone! So I started this a few weeks ago, wrote it out, and hated it. But with some encouragement and help, I have finally gotten it to a place I'm happy with it. This is an alternate take on 3x01 and what could have happened during the "Do you like Italian?" scene. I really hope you enjoy it!
Also, remember that this was written before we knew how the episode was going to play out and the order of things so there are a few things that are not in the order that they were in the episode. Just fyi! :)
As always, I'd love to know what you think especially since this one came very close to being tossed in the trash (yes, I do actually have a trash folder in my computer for fics).
Thanks so much for all your support!
"Do you like Italian?"
Felicity faltered, her fingers hesitating over the keys as she tried to process Oliver's abrupt change of topic as she was frantically filtering through information, trying to find what he needed before anyone caught on to what she was doing at her job.
"What?" she asked, searching her brain for what might have lead them to this from what they'd been discussing and coming up empty.
"For tonight," he answered, the roar of the engine in the background, and Felicity felt her lips curl up into a small smile which she quickly caught as he continued, the breath catching in her throat. "You like Italian, right? Everyone likes Italian."
The fact that she could practically hear his excitement made her own heart flutter in anticipation, still a bit stunned that this was all happening. She was waiting to be woken up from her dream - the one she'd had many times over in various scenarios since the day she'd met him, but it hadn't happened and she could still feel his lips against hers as they stood outside Lyla and Digg's hospital room waiting to see the newest addition to their family. Sparks of electricity skittered down her spine, the taste of him intoxicating.
It was the shifting of gears in the background and the movement in her peripheral vision that had her snapping back to the present, whipping her head around to catch the young boys over by the counter trying to act as if they weren't sneaking a peek at her.
"Oliver," she hissed, "you're in the middle of a high-speed chase."
His low chuckle sent sparks down her spine as he replied with a tone he'd come to use more and more after they'd returned from Lian Yu. "I'm multi-tasking."
She arched an eyebrow despite the fact that she knew he couldn't see her. "Let's save the multi-tasking for later."
There was a beat of silence and then his voice filled her ears again, warming her immediately. "I'll definitely remember to do that."
The timbre of his voice had dropped, sending a pool of liquid heat to her belly and making her close her eyes briefly as she tried to grab ahold of the swirling emotions he'd set off with his unspoken promise.
"Oliver…"
Diggle cleared his throat and she could hear Roy scoff as her cheeks flushed red and she quickly went back to following their trackers and the traffic cameras on the screens she'd pulled up, her cheeks still tinged with warmth.
Remembering she was still at work, she threw another look over her shoulder. The same three boys were still at the counter, trying to look as if they were in there for anything other than to stare at her.
She sighed, glancing at the clock and realizing her boss would arrive in ten minutes to relieve her for the night.
As she brought up the next screen, she heard a sickening screech, a low, sharp curse and then metal scraping the ground. Her world spun to a slow stop, everything else fading to black as fear took root inside her, making it hard to breathe.
His name was out of her mouth before she could even click back to the screen with their trackers on it.
"Oliver!" Lead filled her stomach when there was silence on the other end and the red dot of his tracker had stopped moving in an alleyway near one of the main drags.
"Oliver, please!" she begged, not caring who could hear her, as the words caught in her throat, tears beginning to blur her vision as she clutched the desk in front of her. "Answer me, dammit!"
"Digg?!" she cried brokenly when she got no response from Oliver, fingers flying over the keys as she pulled up the closest street cameras, but there were none that gave her a view into the alley.
"I'm almost there," came his terse reply, followed by a violent swear as she watched the red dot marking his location meet up with Oliver's.
"John?" came her softer, desperate plea, her fingers shaking, chest vibrating from the fear that was now coursing through her.
"He got side-swiped from the way it looks, bike rolled…" There was a moment of silence and Felicity felt the tears pressing against the back of her eyes, willing them not to fall as she waited, holding her breath, hand pressed over her mouth. "It's not good."
All of the air rushed out of her and she collapsed into the chair behind her. She heard voices from behind her but they were muffled and distant. Buzzing filled her ears and her world centered down to Oliver and the image of him lying broken and battered in a damp alley.
As she watched helplessly, Roy arrived on the scene and she heard Diggle direct him to hold pressure on a wound. She recalled his smile from earlier that day, the way he'd been so nervous to ask her to dinner, his small ramble of words that had made her own heart clench and flutter at the sight of Oliver Queen at a loss for the right words.
Diggle's sharp words cut through her thoughts, and they almost made her heart stop. "I'm calling 911."
"What?!" Felicity cried as softly as possible knowing she still wasn't alone, but unable to hold the tears back, letting them flow freely down her cheeks.
"He's unconscious, Felicity. He's having trouble breathing - probably has a collapsed lung and possible internal bleeding. The Foundry's too far away…"
"His suit…" she interrupted hoarsely, focusing on that instead of Diggle's assessment of the situation, bile rising in her throat at the numerous injuries.
"I'll get him out of it...just...meet us at the hospital, Felicity. Okay?" he told her, his voice softening, and she whimpered. "John?"
"He's strong and he's got a hell of a lot more to live for now than he did, Felicity."
Digg's words echoed in her ear and the reality that he meant her slammed into her with abrupt force. A sob escaped her as she replayed Oliver's words to her minutes before everything had been turned upside down. Their date. Dinner. Italian. The smile she could hear through the comms, his laugh and promise of multi-tasking later…
Knowing his comm link was still in his ear, she lowered her face to her hands and willed him to hear her.
"Don't you dare leave me now, Oliver Queen," she whispered, her voice cracking as she swallowed around the lump in her throat. "Don't leave me. Don't let go. Stay with me."
There was silence on the other end until Diggle's soft voice filled her ears.
"I've got to take his comm link out, Felicity…" and she nodded her head before realizing they couldn't see her.
"Okay…" she murmured.
"Roy's coming to get you," he told her a second later. "He's already on his way. Don't drive yourself. Meet us at the hospital. Okay?"
Choking back a sob, Felicity murmured her hoarse reply. "Okay."
The bell ringing from the front of the store caused her to shoot up, furiously scrubbing at her eyes as everything began to sink in. Through the jumble of thoughts and pleas and prayers in her head, one was clearer than the rest.
She had to leave. She had to get to him. She had to see him and touch him, know that he was still alive.
Her eyes caught the screens of her computer and quickly closed all her windows and programs, wiping the memory and hard drive of any evidence with a few taps on the keyboard.
"Smoak?" she heard her boss calling and she quickly turned just in time to see her boss, Ed, rounding the corner. He was a nice man, middle-aged with kids of his own. He had high standards but she could tell he had a good heart after the first few days of working for him.
"Smoak, what are you…"
His words trailed off as he took in her appearance.
"Is everything okay?" he asked, taking a few steps forward and she shook her head.
"My…" she trailed off, for once at a loss for words. What was Oliver? How did she describe him? Her friend? The guy she was going to date? The man she'd fallen in love with slowly and yet all at once? Her...Oliver?
She swallowed, taking a deep breath, fresh tears leaking down her face as she heard the sirens over the comm link.
"My….boyfriend," she finally settled on and she realized while it didn't quite feel like enough, it would work. "He's been in an accident. They're taking him to the hospital...I'm sorry…I have to go...I have to…"
Ed's face grew concerned and he reached out and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Of course. I'm so sorry. Are you sure you should be driving?"
Felicity shook her head. "A friend...A friend is picking me up. He should be here…"
Before she could even finish her sentence, she heard the bell ding again and Roy's voice echo through the Tech Village, frantically.
"I'm here," she called, surprised that her voice carried without breaking.
He found her quickly and she couldn't help falling into his arms when he was close enough, pressing her face into his familiar red hoodie, wondering how he'd managed to change so quickly.
"Come on, let's go...he's going to be okay," Roy murmured into her hair as he held her close. "I've never met a more stubborn person. Plus, there's no way he'd miss taking you on that date. He's been annoyingly happy the past few days."
Her lips quirked and she let out a shuddering half laugh, half sob.
"Go," Ed told her, "And take a few days. Let me know what you need."
Felicity turned, pulling herself away from Roy's chest and gave her boss a grateful look.
"Thank you," she murmured as she grabbed her purse and coat and took Roy's offered hand as they headed for the door, brushing by the three boys who stood by the storefront looking more than a little confused.
Roy led her to her red Mini, and she handed him the keys.
Felicity didn't remember the drive to the hospital, all she could hear was Digg's voice over the comms before it went dead, the knot in her stomach twisting until it was as painful as the one that had taken up residence in her heart.
"Oliver, dammit, stay with me. And if you won't do it for me, do it for her."
The world tilted and spun at those words, and she reached out blindly for the door handle, clutching it until her fingers turned white.
She couldn't hold back the sobs then, and when Roy's hand grasped onto hers, she knew he'd heard as well.
Every second that passed was one more second she wasn't with him; couldn't see him or touch him and know that he was okay.
Somehow they arrived just as the ambulance and she was out of the car before Roy could put it in park, running towards Digg who lumbered out of the back and stood to the side as they brought Oliver out on a stretcher.
Felicity gasped, her hand covering her mouth when she saw him. His face was bruised, red scrapes littering his left cheek and jaw. His shirt was off, dark purple and red bruises covering his torso. One of the EMT's was squeezing a bag, giving him oxygen every few seconds while the other's rattled off the information to the doctors and nurses that met them just outside the hospital emergency room.
She didn't realize her legs had given out or that she'd cried out for him until she felt Diggle's arms around her waist and his strong, solid chest at her back.
"No!" she cried out, trying to follow the stretcher, needing to be near him, needing to feel his skin beneath her own.
But Diggle held on to her, his large arms encompassing her small frame until she finally stopped fighting and let herself sag into his arms.
She heard his low, reassuring voice filter through the pounding in her head. "Let them do their job, Felicity. We gotta let them help him…."
"John," she whispered, her voice failing her completely on the last part of his name.
He buried his nose against her hair and nodded. "I know. I know."
He'd been pushed behind the double doors by the time they made it into the lobby.
She wrenched out of Diggle's grasp and walked to the main desk. "Where's Oliver Queen? He was just brought in here, motorcycle accident…"
She tried to control the shaking in her voice but couldn't.
The nurse looked at her in sympathy, but shook her head. "I'm sorry but only family is allowed to obtain any information...are you related to him?"
Felicity felt her stomach drop. "I'm...we're…" she glanced back at Diggle and Roy who flanked her. "We're all he has left right now…"
The nurse who looked a little younger than her mother pursed her lips, "I'm sorry...if you're not relatives…"
"You don't understand," Felicity began, but Digg's hand on her shoulder cut her off.
"I'm his bodyguard, John Diggle," he stepped forward, "And this is the woman he loves…I'm sure you have heard about his parents, and his sister is not in the city. There is no one else."
Felicity felt the vice around her heart tighten even more at Digg's words. Despite their pleas, she immediately saw the nurse wasn't going to budge on the issue.
"Unless you are his emergency contact or a relative, I can't give you any information until someone has been contacted and you've been cleared…"
Felicity stopped listening, a wave of exhaustion and desperation crashing over her. She wondered how long it would take her to hack into the hospital database and change his contacts so they could know because there was no way they were going to be treated as outsiders this entire time. They were his family.
Her mind was tired, and her limbs felt heavy, but a low burning anger had started to rise within her; desperation taking over the exhaustion that had hit her body with the force of a semi.
It was Digg's firm voice that brought her out of her run-away thoughts. "Check his emergency contact."
Felicity frowned, looking up at him and searching his face as he stood resolute beside her.
The nurse sighed but quickly typed out a few commands on the computer to pull up his records.
When the older woman frowned, Felicity stepped forward, concern bleeding with hope as she swallowed, her mind racing.
"It says here that papers were signed only a few months ago to have Ms. Felicity Smoak be his emergency contact," the nurse said, eyes glancing up to meet hers, almost hopeful.
For a second, Felicity was sure she hadn't heard right. How? When? He never told her…
When she saw the nurses mouth move, she realized she was still talking to her and shook her head to clear her thoughts. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Are you Felicity Smoak?" the nurse repeated in a soft voice.
Felicity nodded quickly. "Yes...but I don't understand how...He never said anything…"
She turned her gaze to Diggle and he just smiled at her and nodded. He'd known.
After checking her ID, the nurse led them back through the double doors to a more private waiting room. "They have taken Mr. Queen to surgery to repair his lung and stop the internal bleeding. As soon as they know more, I'll direct the doctors to come and talk to you, Ms. Smoak."
Felicity nodded mutely, trying to process the information she'd just learned.
Before the nurse could walk away, she found her voice. "Wait...do you know when he signed those papers?" she asked, and she could feel Diggle and Roy's eyes on her.
The nurse's brow creased as she thought for a moment. "I think the date was May of this year."
Felicity's breath caught in her throat, her heart beat a steady, rapid tattoo against her ribs as she covered her mouth and slid down into one of the waiting room chairs.
After Slade. After they'd returned from Lian Yu. Oliver had done this five months ago.
Roy and Diggle took the two seats on either side of her, and she immediately reached for their hands, linking their fingers together and holding on tight, praying that Oliver would do the same.
They didn't talk, and Felicity was thankful that they both seemed to understand that she couldn't form thoughts or words in those moments. Her thoughts were racing to everything she'd said to Oliver and everything she'd left unsaid. There was so much she'd wanted to tell him; so much she wanted him to know. She prayed she'd have the chance to say all those words that filled her heart whenever he was around; whenever she thought of him.
It seemed like hours before the nurse returned, unreadable expression on her face.
Felicity stood before she reached them, Diggle's hand moving to her shoulder as she sucked in a deep, steadying breath.
"Mr. Queen is out of surgery and stabilized, for now," she informed them in soft tone, "The surgeon will be out to talk to you soon. And then someone will take you to his room in the ICU."
Felicity let out the breath she'd been holding, her lower lip trembling as her shoulders sagged in relief, the vice around her heart easing if only momentarily.
She felt Roy slip a hand beneath her elbow as Diggle moved closer to her, his arm sliding from her shoulder to her back for support.
"Thank you," she stated after finding her voice and the woman gave her a reassuring smile before turning and walking back through the double doors.
Felicity couldn't sit after that. Despite the gnawing sensation in her stomach that left her feeling off-balance, she refused to be still.
She wanted to see him. Her eyes had flicked to Diggle's after the nurse had left, silently asking him how much the nurse wasn't saying, and she'd been able to read the concern still etched in his face.
Thankfully, it was only a few more minutes before a man appeared before them in pale green scrubs.
"Ms. Smoak?" he asked as she abruptly stopped mid step and found herself rooted to the spot.
Nodding, the doctor stuck out his hand. "I'm Dr. Galver," he introduced himself and she saw his gaze flick behind her head and knew that both Digg and Roy were once again at her back.
"These are Mr. Queen's friends," she stated, and Dr. Galver nodded.
"Mr. Queen suffered some very serious injuries but he is stabilized and has been moved to a room in our ICU for the night for observation." Dr Galver shifted his gaze between the three of them as he spoke, and Felicity nodded her head as she tried to take in everything the doctor was saying. "He has two broken ribs which resulted in a collapsed lung. We were able to insert a needle into the chest cavity to treat it, and he is now breathing on his own again."
Felicity's eyes slipped shut briefly at that good bit of news.
"Mr. Queen also suffered a few other internal injuries, but none of them as severe as we initially thought. We've been able to treat them all, and thanks to his helmet, he only has a slightly concussion. He has a few weeks of healing ahead of him, but he should make a full recovery."
The knots in her stomach slowly began to loosen and she reached for the doctor's hand, "Thank you so much, Dr. Galver. Can we see him?"
He smiled at her and nodded. "Of course. Visiting hours are over but since you are his emergency contact, you may stay with him, although I'm afraid all three of you can't be in his room at one time."
"That's okay," Roy spoke up immediately, "I can wait outside."
Felicity's head whipped to the side to look up at him, brow furrowed in concern.
"It's fine," he told her immediately, sensing her concern. "You need to be with him. I'll stay in the waiting room."
She watched as his eyes shot to Digg's, and the two of them exchanged silent communication - almost as easily as he and Oliver did.
"Alright, then all of you can follow me," Dr. Galver said, turning and walking towards a bank of elevators to their right.
Felicity realized her hands were shaking as they rode the five floors up to the ICU. She didn't realize she was biting on her bottom lip until she tasted blood on her tongue.
She felt Diggle's hand come to rest on her shoulder and she immediately let herself cant to the left, leaning into his broad frame, relying on his strength for a few seconds until the elevator came to a stop.
Down one more hallway and through another bank of double doors, until they stopped in front of room 520.
Dr. Galver opened the door and stepped to the side. Images flashed through her head as she wondered what sight would greet her. She'd seen Oliver hurt before - remembered the first night she'd found out his secret, bleeding out in the back of her car. She'd seen him flatline more than once and each time, it made her heart stop beating right along with his, growing fear and dread filling her along with the refusal to beleive he would ever leave them...and her.
Felicity took tentative steps into the room, her eyes immediately welling with tears as she took in Oliver's prone form lying amidst the sterile, white sheets of the hospital bed.
She didn't hesitate to cross to his side, the many wires and tubes coming from him doing nothing to quell the fears rising within her despite the doctor's reassurances.
Her fingers trembled as they reached for one of his hands, skin thankfully warm to the touch. She closed her fingers around his own and felt the rough slide of his callouses against her skin. The pressure in her chest lessened minutely as she held tightly to him.
Both Diggle and Roy stepped up to the bed, saying nothing, sim resting their hands on her shoulders.
A few moments passed before she heard the two exchange a few quiet words followed by the door shutting once more.
Diggle rounded the bed to get a better look at the monitors.
"Everything looks okay," he said after a few moments, turning soft eyes on her. "You should rest. He'll be out of it for the rest of the night…"
"I can't sleep," she blurted out, glancing up at the clock in his room and distantly noting that if everything had gone to plan tonight, she'd be on her way to meet Oliver for dinner.
Instead, she was holding on his hand in a stark hospital room, tears flowing down her cheeks, just wishing he would open his eyes.
Diggle let out a sigh, but nodded in understanding. He came up behind her, pushing the chair that was off to the side to her knees and laying a hand on her shoulder, a silent command to sit before she fell over.
Her legs seemingly gave out the second she began to lower herself down, and she was thankful he'd thought of it.
A weariness rushed over her once she was seated, finally able to look and touch Oliver. But she knew she wouldn't and couldn't sleep. Her eyes remained glued to Oliver's face, running over the sharp planes of his jaw and slight stubble that she'd felt earlier against her own cheeks. The sensation sending sharp, gasping tendrils of need spiking through her.
She inhaled sharply at the thought, remembering the last time they'd been here had been for the birth of Lyla and Digg's baby.
It was that thought that had her dragging her eyes from Oliver's face and twisting to find Diggle stationed at the door, eyes on them both.
Her face softened as she took in the worry and concern etched into Diggle's face for his friend. She knew he felt guilty for not getting their sooner - perhaps for not being able to do more himself.
"You don't have to stay Diggle...what about Lyla and the baby…"
Her voice was hoarse, and she saw him blink at her and then take a deep breath.
"Roy will come relieve me in a few hours, and I'll go home for a bit," he told her, his eyes flicking back to Oliver. "But for now, I'm staying. Lyla understands. I talked to her on the way here…I just need to make sure..."
He didn't have to finish his sentence for Felicity to understand. Tears filled her eyes and she reached out her free hand to him. He was by her side in an instant, hand in hers as she held on to Oliver.
The three of them were a family of their own - and she wasn't the only one shaken by tonight's events. John cared a lot for Oliver - his brother in so many ways. He needed to make sure he was really okay.
Felicity turned her eyes back to Oliver, watching the slow and steady rise and fall of his chest, taking comfort in that reassuring movement, her fingers rubbing circles into his skin.
She wasn't sure how much time had passed when she saw his lips move, her eyes tired and scratchy behind the frames of her glasses. She blinked, checking to make sure it wasn't just her imagination playing tricks on her.
But then she heard his voice - scratchy and so hoarse she had to lean forward to make out the word, but when she did, a gasping sob fell from her lips.
"Licity," he murmured, head beginning to move, brow furrowing and she quickly stood, hands moving to his face, careful of the cuts and abrasions, trying to calm him.
As her hands framed his cheeks, bleary blue eyes blinked open and her head bowed in relief.
"Oliver!" she gasped, and she felt Digg behind her in an instant. "I'm here. You need to rest…"
She watched helplessly as he tried to focus, mind battling the drugs they'd put into his system, the beep from the heart monitor increasing with each labored breath.
His hand landed heavily on her arm as if it had taken a lot of effort to move it and she heard him suck in a breath as he wrapped strong fingers around her wrist.
"Don't leave," he murmured, cloudy eyes roaming his face as he fought to stay awake.
"I'm not going anywhere, Oliver," she told him, swallowing a sob rising in her chest at hearing his voice again.
Leaning her head forward, she pressed her forehead against his temple. "I promise. You need to rest. I'll be right here."
He let out a short, gasping breath that ended on her name again, and he listened to her, letting the drugs pull him back under.
The door to his room opened a moment later causing her to jump, and two nurses entered, eyes going to her and then Diggle, "We saw his stats on our monitors. Did he wake up?"
Felicity swallowed around the lump in her throat, "For a few seconds," she answered softly.
One of the nurses frowned. "For how much sedation he was put under, that is impressive...most people take close to 6 hours to come out of it after that type of surgery."
Felicity caught Diggle's eye and they both shared a knowing look. Oliver had always had a high tolerance when it came to any kind of pain killer or drug.
Rising, Felicity moved to the side while the nurses checked his vitals, entering information into a tablet they carried with them. A part of her was itching to get her hands on a computer and find out all the details on his chart. She'd have to ask Digg to bring her laptop by in the morning.
"Everything still looks good, Ms. Smoak," one of the nurses finally told her as they headed for the door. "If you need anything, please let us know."
Felicity smiled at them and nodded before returning to her chair at Oliver's side, curling her fingers around his own once more. Diggle moved back to his place by the door, standing guard over both of them.
She must have fallen asleep because when she opened her eyes again, she was alone with Oliver. It was still dark outside and she pulled out her phone to see it was almost 4 in the morning.
Her eyes flickered to Oliver's still sleeping face, and she squeezed her fingers around his own, bringing them up to her lips and pressed a kiss against his knuckles.
When the door opened, she jumped, eyes flying open as she caught sight of Roy slipping into the room.
Her brow furrowed, until she remembered that Diggle had probably gone home.
Roy stepped further into the room, and she realized he was carrying a black duffle bag. Without speaking, he set it on one of the chairs near the wall before turning to her.
"I went and got it from the Foundry before Diggle left," he explained softly, shrugging his shoulders. "I know he'll want some clothes to wear when he's ready to leave."
A rush of thankfulness flowed through her at Roy's positive outlook and she sent him a soft smile. The younger man shoved his hands into his pockets as he rounded the other side of the bed.
"How's he doing?" he asked, glancing warily at Oliver, and she could see his discomfort.
She remembered a conversation that they'd had once when he'd first joined the team about how he hated hospitals, needles and anything associated with them. Realizing how hard it must be for him to here in this room, her heart filled with appreciation and love.
Despite their bickering, Roy really did look up to Oliver and like him. He'd become a little brother to Oliver and, as much as Roy would never admit it, Roy admired Oliver for his strength and what he was doing for Starling City.
In the months since they'd taken down Slade, Roy had honed his skills to the point where Oliver had actually started to let him come out on missions and patrols with him. He still had a lot to learn, but he was doing better than Oliver expected - she knew that from the looks of surprise that would flit over his features as they were training - quickly hidden whenever Roy glanced his way.
"He woke up for a few seconds." Her voice was hoarse, rough with sleep. "They were surprised he came out of the anesthesia so fast," she told him wryly, a tilt to her lips that he mirrored.
"If they only knew…" Roy muttered, and Felicity chuckled softly.
"I just need him to wake up again," she admitted, her voice cracking as tears threatened to spill down her cheeks.
"He will," Roy stated firmly. "I've never seen him smile as much as he has been the past few months...there's a reason for that…"
He eyed her and she felt her face flush, dipping her chin to watch as her fingers traced patterns against his hand.
"Thanks," she finally whispered, vision blurring as she glanced up him, a watery smile on her face.
"Anytime, blondie."
She rolled her eyes at the nickname and he seemed pleased with himself for getting that reaction from her as he backed towards the door.
"I'll be just outside if you need anything," he said, and Felicity nodded, scrubbing her hand over her face as looked around the room, her eyes falling on the bag Roy had brought.
Once the door closed behind Roy, she reached for it, opening it with one hand. Her fingers closed around something soft, and she lifted it, heart aching when she saw it was his grey hoodie - the one he so often wore after a hard workout or getting patched up. Bringing it to her face, she inhaled, and smiled when she was met with Oliver's familiar scent. The smell of him curled inside of her, comforting her like a blanket and she didn't hesitate to slip her arms through the sleeves and pull it around her, zipping it in the front. Enveloped in his scent, she sank back into the chair and tucked her legs up underneath her as she laid her head down over their joined hands.
She fell back asleep to the steady sound of his heartbeat through the monitor, and dreamt of a date that never happened.
Over the next few hours, she slept fitfully, waking up every thirty minutes or whenever the nurses came to check Oliver's vitals. Nightmares haunted her everytime she closed her eyes, scenes of Oliver lying on the street, bleeding out with no one there to help him as he called her name. She woke to cold sweats and choked sobs, her heart shattering with each vivid picture her mind conjured in her head.
Every movement also stirred her, pulling her out of sleep to see if Oliver was waking up. And each time, she felt the vice around her heart tightening, fear sinking in it's cold, hopeless claws.
He was going to be okay. He was going to make it. He was going to wake up.
She repeated those words over and over each time she dozed off, refusing to leave his side even with the nurses offered her a cot. She needed to be touching him, to feel the warmth of his skin beneath her own to ease the rising tide of doubt that lingered.
Diggle woke her mid-morning, coffee in hand along with a muffin from her favorite bakery. She peered up at him with bleary eyes, a small smile forming on her lips even as her stomach turned at the thought of eating.
When two nurses entered the room, Diggle's hand circled her wrist and he tugged softly, a silent motion for her to stand and follow him.
When her hand left Oliver's, she caught a slight twitch of his fingers out of the corner of her eye. His forefinger and middle finger rose from the bed, as if feeling the loss and she fought the intense desire to return to him, knowing the nurses needed to check him over.
The look on Diggle's face when she turned to look at him told her he'd seen the movement as well. His hard gaze zeroed in on the monitors, making his own mental check and the small nod of his head let Felicity know things were okay before the nurses said a word.
Her body protested along with her heart, but she knew it was for the best. Her legs ached with the first few steps she took with Digg towards the bank of windows, back cramping from the time she'd spent hunched over in the chair.
She watched in silence as both nurses, different from the ones who'd checked on him all night, took his blood pressure, checked his heart monitor and listened to his lungs while making notes on the tablet they passed between them. This check was longer and more intensive than those during the night - something Digg must have known. They changed the bandage that covered his incision and she had to clamp down hard on Digg's hand to keep from walking over and taking the supplies out of the nurses hands - wanting to do it herself - like she usually did.
While her limited knowledge in the medical field had grown exponentially when she'd joined the team and she knew enough to know he was breathing on his own and there had been no significant change in his heart rate over the past few hours, Digg's assessment still brought a wave of relief.
After letting them know that he was still stable and that the doctor would be by soon, the two nurses left the room, one of them giving Felicity a sympathetic nod.
Felicity immediately returned to Oliver's side, her feet moving before the door had shut behind them. Diggle silently set the bag with the muffin on the table tray next to the bed and she glanced up at him as her hand slid back over Oliver's.
He arched an eyebrow at her, and his silent command was loud and clear. Eat.
She deflated and nodded, her eyes falling back to Oliver as Diggle moved to the door - not leaving, but standing guard, eyes always alert.
Two bites were all she could stomach despite it being her favorite and she pushed the rest of the muffin back into the bag and left it on the table.
Her eyes wandered over Oliver's face, tracing the sharp line of his jaw and the uneven slope of his nose - wondering how many times it had been broken. When she reached his lips, the memory of their kiss swept through her again and she closed her eyes, placing her head back over their joined hands. A deep, painful ache radiated out from her chest and rose in her throat as sob that she was unable to contain. Her shoulders shook as hot tears rolled down her cheeks and onto his skin.
"Please come back to me," she whispered, lips barely moving as she begged him to hear her.
It wasn't long before her body gave out and she slipped into an exhausted slumber.
The next time she woke, it was to the sensation of a large hand cupping her cheek. She turned into it on instinct, breathing in the familiar smell and relishing the callouses on his fingertips as they ran over her jaw.
It was then that everything came rushing back to her, and her eyes popped open to find blue eyes softly staring at her as if she was the best thing he'd ever seen.
Her heart filled with gasping relief and she couldn't stop the blossom of her smile, tears stinging her eyes.
"Oliver!" she gasped, a knot of tension in her chest releasing at seeing his familiar blue eyes gazing into hers.
Emotions she'd held coiled tightly in her chest began to unwind as he regarded her with warmth and relief - as if she was the one lying in a hospital bed and not him. She saw the need grow in his eyes, the questions begin to form as he tried to find answers he couldn't grasp ahold of in the confusion left behind from the trauma and medication.
Still, even as she saw his struggle, his lips tipped upwards and he tried to shift towards her. As soon as he did, he grimaced, a soft groan rumbling in his chest as he slammed his eyes shut and furrowed his brow.
She straightened, panic blossoming once again in her chest, afraid he'd hurt himself even more if he didn't stop. His hand fell from her cheek as she stood and placed both of her small hands on his shoulders, gently pushing him back.
"No, don't move…" Her voice came out stronger than she expected, but she could see hear the worry woven throughout it.
"Felicity," he ground out, sucking in a deep breath through his teeth as the sound of her name rushed over her and filled in the cracks of worry and fear that had been left the second she'd heard the sickening sound of his bike hitting the pavement over the comms.
Her eyes slipped shut as a hot tear slipped down her cheek, reveling in the sound of her name from his lips. It was one of her favorite sounds - the way he spoke it with such reverence and care as if she were one of the most important things in his life.
She felt his hand on her cheek, his thumb swiping in her eyes as he cupped her jaw.
"Hey," he breathed, and she blinked open bleary eyes to gaze down at him, surprised to find herself sitting on the side of the bed, holding onto his hand that was pressed against her face as if he was her lifeline.
"I thought…" she began, her voice catching as she tried to control the rising tide of emotions that flooded through her as she remembered everything that had happened, the fear and pain and worry that had been her world for hours on end crashed around her and it all poured out. "I heard you get hit on the comms, and when you didn't answer, I knew it had to be bad. When Digg said he was calling 911... all I could think about was how the last thing you asked me about was if I liked Italian…"
Her voice broke and she bit down on her bottom lip as it trembled as she recalled the moment she thought she might never get to go on that date with him; never get to feel the press of his lips against hers again or hear her name spoken in the way only he could say it - where he made it sound as if it was one of the most precious and descriptive words in the English language.
She paused for breath and Oliver drew her towards him, wincing slightly at the movement, his other hand moving to grip his side.
"I'm okay," he reassured her, his own voice low and scratchy with emotion, "I'm okay."
He opened his mouth and she could see his question before he asked it.
With a deep breath, she listed off his injuries, "Collapsed lung, three broken ribs...you were in surgery for hours because of the internal bleeding...and a lot of abrasions and bruises…"
"That's why it hurts to breathe," he muttered, throwing his head back against the pillow, and she sighed heavily, shaking her head at his brand of humor.
His thumb catching another errant tear caused her to look up at him again. "I'm sorry I missed our date…"
Felicity inhaled sharply, caught off guard by the sadness in his eyes. She shook her head, opening her mouth but finding no words, suddenly overwhelmed by it all.
And then she was kissing him, her lips pressed to his in a soft yet heated kiss. Her heart fluttered in her chest at the familiar feel of his mouth against her. It felt like home despite the fact that she'd only had this feeling one time before this. The sensation of his mouth moving against hers was one of the most comforting and intoxicating things she'd ever felt. Her hand cupped the side of his face, careful of the bruises from where his helmet had knocked into his jaw as she gently ran her fingers over his stubble and back to the sensitive skin below his ear. A rumble rose from his chest when she ran the pads of her fingers against the skin and scraped her teeth along his lower lip as she pulled back, her forehead coming to rest against his.
She noticed his breathing was harsher than normal, and then with horror, she remembered his collapsed lung and whispered a soft apology against his lips.
"Never apologize for kissing me," he grunted, through labored breaths, his hand on the nape of her neck holding her gently against him.
Her eyes flew open and her stomach flipped at the intensity of his gaze that felt as if it could reach into the depths of her soul and see all her secrets.
A smile pulled at her lips and she pressed one more soft, chaste kiss to his lips.
"I'm beginning to think I'm only going to get to kiss you in this hospital," she teased as she pulled back, noting for the first time that it was late afternoon by the long shadows that played along the wall.
He rested his head back against the pillow, weariness clinging to him and she knew he needed to rest.
"Oh, there will be more," he promised in a low voice that made her shiver in anticipation. "Anywhere and everywhere."
"Good," she replied, tapping his lips with her forefinger before sitting back.
His eyelids drooped and she ran her fingers through the short strands of his hair. She was rewarded with a low hum from the back of his throat and blue eyes darkening to cobalt when he opened them. She did it again, to see his reaction, heat filling her as their eyes became locked in a heated gaze that left her wanting so much more.
When he shifted, she opened her mouth to scold him, hating the idea that he might pull out his stitches or worse. Despite her protests, he didn't stop until there was a small space next to him on the bed.
Her brow furrowed when he raised an eyebrow at her, patting the top of the blanket with his forefinger. It dawned on her what he wanted, and she was instantly torn between the desire to be closer to him and the fear of hurting him. She'd longed to curl up against his side, lay with him so she could feel the rise and fall of her chest beneath her fingers, but she hadn't dared to do it because of the fragile state he was in, but now...
"Your ribs…" she replied, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. As much as she wanted to lay down next to him and curl up against him, she knew it would be frowned upon by the doctors and nurses,and probably against ten different hospital rules.
"Since when have I cared about following the rules?" he scoffed, playfully and she glared at him, realizing she'd once again said her thoughts out loud.
"I'm fine," he insisted. "I'll sleep better with you by me."
"I am by you," she responded, and he gave her a look he knew she couldn't refuse, holding out his hand.
His eyes softened, silently pleading with her, and her walls began to cave, knowing she wanted it as much as he did. Releasing a short breath, she shifted on the bed, turning around and laying back until her head was next to his shoulder. The second her head hit the pillow, she felt the familiar pull of sleep, her body crying out for the rest it hadn't gotten in the last 24 hours.
Trailing her hand down his arm, she found his and laced their fingers together. His hand engulfed hers as he held on tightly. Her eyes fluttered shut as she shifted so her knees brushed his thighs and her forehead barely touched his shoulder. His body heat seeped into her and she smiled softly as she burrowed her head closer to him.
Silence descended around them, the only sound echoing through the room was the steady beep of the heart monitor, but she took more comfort in the fact that she could feel the rise and fall of his chest, and hear the beating thrumming through his body.
He was quiet for a long time, his fingers trailing over her knuckles, sending tiny sensations racing through her, soothing frayed nerves.
"There were so many times when I've wanted to die."
His words caused her eyes to fly open, gasp halting her breath. The quiet intensity of them slamming into her and she had to bite her bottom lip to stifle a sob.
"Ever since The Gambit went down, I've been watching everyone around me die while I somehow survived," a ragged breath left his body as he continued, "And there were so many times when I just wanted to stop...when I wanted it to be my time," he murmured, voice hoarse and filled with such sadness it tugged at her heart and made her curl into him more.
Tears pressed at the back of her eyelids and she brought their joined hands to her chest, holding them close to her heart. She made sure he could feel her heartbeat - a silent gesture he hoped she understood. Without him, her heart wouldn't be whole.
"I'm glad you didn't…" She finally managed, tears leaking down her cheeks and into the pillow they shared.
She tilted her head up so she could see him and found his face turned towards her, eyes shut tightly as he fought his own demons; a battle of emotions raging within him.
Finally, they opened, blue as bright as the sky staring back at her. Her chest expanded as she took in the way he was looking at her, heart on display with emotions he'd never spoken aloud. They went far deeper than his "I love you" at the mansion when he'd spoken the truth in a ploy to catch Slade. She'd known he'd meant those words then and there, but what she was seeing now, paled in comparison to those three words.
His heart reached for hers, twined around her and filled in the holes left behind by years of abandonment and unknown circumstances. And as she looked at him, she realized she did the same for him. They were so completely tangled up in each other, two parts of a whole. There lives were intertwined, hearts beating as one. She'd never known love like this - an all-encompassing warmth that she felt from her head to her toes and everywhere in between. She was safe and loved and surrounded by him. Leaving him was never an option Walking away or choosing another path was never a choice. The only choice was him. Her heart was his as much as his was hers.
"Last night, for the first time in so long, I didn't want to die…" he finally whispered, and she heard the catch in his voice as he dipped his head and his lips ghosted along her forehead. "Because I heard you calling out to me, and that is where I wanted to be - with you."
Felicity released a stuttered breath before pushing up on her shoulders and catching his lips with her own, tears streaming down her face. He responded to her demanding kiss, nipping and biting before laving it with this tongue. When she pulled back, she was gasping for very different reasons, but the sharp pain that his words had created in her chest had eased. She pressed one more kiss to his lips, before dipping her head and dropping a kiss on his shoulder before she rested her head back on the pillow.
"I want you here with me too…" she whispered, moving even closer without actually ending up on top of him, mindful of the wires still attached to him and the fact that he'd been in surgery the night before. She knew she shouldn't even be in the bed, but she needed this - needed to be close to him, and he needed it was well.
She felt him press a kiss to her head and she nuzzled closer to his body as they both drifted off to sleep.
A throat being cleared and the tensing of Oliver's muscles in her hand that pulled her from her dream.
Her eyes fluttered open to find Diggle and Dr. Glaver standing to the side of the bed.
Diggle had one eyebrow raised in half-amusement, half-worry. Dr. Galver didn't look amused at all.
Felicity's eyes widened and she tried to sit up only to have Oliver's hand clamp down on her hand. Her gaze flew to his face, and she saw him staring at the doctor, daring him to say anything.
"Glad to see you awake, Mr. Queen," Dr. Galver stated, something resembling a smile playing at his lips. "How do you feel?"
"Like I got hit by a car," Oliver replied defensively, and Felicity laid her free hand over their joined ones, trying to ease some of the tension.
The doctor chuckled and the air around them began to ease.
It was hours later by the time they were finally alone again, the nurses having dropped off Oliver's dinner tray.
He eyed it with relative scorn and Felicity couldn't help but smile, the ease in her chest growing with each passing second that she saw him alive and okay in front of her.
Finally, he reached for the one thing on the tray that she agreed looked edible. Looking over to her, she saw a twinkle in his eyes as he reached a hand out to her, grimacing slightly and she couldn't help but give him an exasperated look.
She went to him immediately, settling herself on the edge of the bed as their fingers remained intertwined.
"This will do," he murmured, holding out the spoon to her, and when she drew her brows together in confusion, he continued, "Since we didn't get to go on our date…"
"You want our first dinner date to be hospital jello?" Felicity asked in disbelief, failing to keep the grin from playing at her lips.
Oliver tipped his head to the side. "Well, it is green…"
Felicity laughed, unable to hide her amusement at the idea of them eating hospital green jello for their first date.
Oliver looked at her and shrugged, returning her smile. Leaning down, she captured his lips with her own, careful of his mending ribs as she trailed her hands over his face and down to his shoulders, warm flesh heating her hands beneath the hospital gown.
He smiled against her lips, playfully nipping at her when she pulled back with a groan.
"So what's your answer?" he asked, eyebrow cocked. "Would you please have dinner with me, Felicity Smoak?"
The question settled in the air around them and she stilled, words so similar to the ones he'd used only a day ago.
Looking at him, her heart soaring with the knowledge that he was truly okay and that they would have many more dates.
"Yes." She leaned in, framing his face with her hands as she whispered her reply against his mouth, smile matching his own.