Hello all! This is my first Digimon fanfiction, so I hope any readers who stumble upon this enjoys! I don't think there will be pairings in this story, but if you want to see it as such, be my guest.
With that, please enjoy! I own nothing.
Always Have My Back
Tai sighed, looking over at his sleeping digimon. Finally, they'd decided to fall asleep! It had been a long, long day, and he still had so much to do, but for tonight, it was rest and recuperation time.
He crossed his arms and rested his head against the cave wall, thinking over what had occurred today, and what needed to be done.
Tai had finally found Matt and Gabumon in a frozen section of File Island, and thanks to Frigimon, who'd found them some food after a series of crazy on top of crazy events, saved their hides- and Mojyamon's as well.
Of course, Tai decided to stay there for just one more night before heading off to locate the other DigiDestined and go towards Infinity Mountain. He and Matt needed the rest of the team if they planned to battling anymon. And by 'stay', it meant having to convince Matt not to go back out and get himself sick again-Gabumon had let that slip by accident that Matt had gotten them both sick stressing over his younger brother after their fight.
Tai chuckled to himself and checked once again on his sleeping Koromon, petting him on the head as he dreamt about food, more than likely. He understood most of Matt's concern, especially since he had a younger sibling like that of his own. 'Don't I know it...' Tai thought, guilt briefly eating at him as he recalled the scare he had felt back at home. His face fell into a frown. He wished he knew how she was doing... but he would be home soon. She was with their parents, and he had a much greater role to fulfill.
She would be alright, and he couldn't wait until he was finally able to hug her again.
"... guess you can't sleep, either." A hesitant voice sounded above him.
Tai closed his eyes as he felt rather than saw Matt sit next to him. The blond looked at their sleeping rookies and smiled softly. "At least they're getting some sleep. We're gonna be beat in the morning, you know."
"Probably... but we can always get some sleep later. Maybe." The brunette opened one eye and smirked. "You should be sitting near the fire, knucklehead. Didn't you just get sick?" Matt rolled his eyes and leaned back against the cold rock, sitting shoulder to shoulder with him.
"Yeah, but Gabumon took care of me. I'm good."
"Hmm... alright, if you say so."
The silence that followed was almost... comforting, at least, for the blond. For once, he wasn't alone, and Gabumon didn't have to deal with his constant brooding by himself. Frankly, he really appricated the company, though he wasn't about to let Tai know that just yet. It also gave him some time to think about his and Tai's fight earlier.
He'd actually cried in front of him, but that wasn't a huge deal. It may of been because he was finally being heard by someone, even though it was the LAST person he wanted to tell.
He had been very frustrated, too. His brother was still out there, and probably scared and mostly alone and- well, that made him pause in thought, his chest tightening in that uncomfortable feeling when he was thinking of 'it'. That thought he'd pushed and pushed back and was forcing himself to keep back there, but... after what he'd told Tai...
'My brother...! T.K. is out there on some strange island, and I need to find him, Tai!'
Matt saw how Tai treated his brother since they all arrived at the Digital World. He still worried about him because of his age, just like everyone else, but he also gave the kid his own personal space. He didn't treat TK like a baby... he treated him like TK. A child. Gave him independence, but protected him when it was appropriate.
Matt pulled his legs to his chest. He tried to stop his train of thoughts but he couldn't. He hated feeling vulnerable and open. Tai noticed his friend's pained expression and leaned close. "Hey, Matt? You okay, man?"
Matt's lip trembled as he fought back tears. It was his idea! He chose to stay with his father because he thought he would help him... cope. He wasn't mad at his mother, or his father, his friends, or Tai. He was just... confused. And the reason why was because he wanted to forget everything and lock it all away.
But he knew better. It would come out, and it would hurt once it did. Hurt even worse than what he felt at this very second.
"Matt? Yo, come on, talk to me." Tai sounded even closer to him, but far away at the same time. His had began pounding as thought after thought assaulted him.
He missed his family. He knew he was in denial, had always been, but it was hard to comprehend what he was feeling, especially when he was trying to be strong for someone who was already strong enough on his own.
He needed to talk to someone. He wanted to open up, but why was it so hard? Why was it so frustrating? Why did Tai understand TK better than he himself did? Why, why, WHY?!
"Matt! Calm down, you're hurting yourself!"
Matt snapped out of it, unaware he'd been scratching at his bare arms enough to draw a small bit of blood. Tai had torn off the bottom his own shirt and was cleaning off his arm with it. The blond just stared silently at his arm, trying to register what was happening.
"You okay? What's wrong?" Tai asked, lowering his voice. He finished his arms and checked on their digimon. Thankfully, aside from a few small snores, they hadn't woken up not one bit. He called that a win.
"Matt?" Tai sounded hurt as Matt curled away from him, his shoulders trembling. "What's wrong? Talk to me, man. You're scaring me."
Matt took a deep breath, and let it out. He needed to get a grip on himself but what could he say? That he was a better older brother than himself? That he was frustrated because his parents had separated and he barely spoke to his parents because he was hurt and scared and heartbroken? That he didn't know why he was angry at his mother when it was HIS choice to allow TK to live with her? That his younger brother had far more confidence and was growing and he didn't know how to approach it?
That everything was starting to break out, and he was horrified because he just didn't know what to do, or who to turn to?
"Matt... please. Talk to me. Is it about earlier?" Tai shifted a little closer to him. "Look, I know what you meant about TK, but you're his brother. I know you've taught him how to hold his own, so just... trust him to stay safe until we find him. We WILL find him, alright? It's a promise."
That did it. Tai's words, his genuine concern, it did him in. Matt couldn't speak at that point. If he did, it would all come rushing out and he didn't want to feel that, or begin to pick up what pieces would be left. So he shook his head and buried his head in his arms, hoping Tai wouldn't press on it any further.
Tai didn't know what else to ask him, but it was clear that something had been bothering him since their fight from earlier, and their battles. "Matt, you're not alright. Something's been buggin' you... do you, you know, wanna talk?"
Tai wrapped his arms around his shoulders, and Matt welcomed it, almost hungrily, pressing close to his body to warm himself up. He clung on to Tai's shirt for dear life, trying to draw what courage his friend seemed to naturally release. He smiled; no wonder he was given the Crest of Courage. It suit him... but how was he meant to carry the Crest of Friendship when he couldn't even admit he needed help from his friends and family?
"N-Not... not yet..." Matt answered quietly. Tai acknowledged his answer and decided not to ask anything else.
He knew how much his friend loved his little brother. He knew that feeling all too well of wanting to do everything in your power to keep them safe. 'We're pretty alike, Matt. You have TK to protect... and I have Kairi.'
"Matt... man, I dunno what just happened, but... if you need to talk, you have me. Even if you fight me on it half the time." Tai said that last part jokigly, and felt Matt shift in his arms, his grip growing tighter. Tai just rubbed his shoulder and held him, wondering if Matt was in his right state of mind to be practically snuggling with him. But it seemed like he wanted this, so Tai decided to go with it.
It wasn't like anyone else could see it, anyways.
"I'm sorry..." he finally croaked out. He wasn't ready yet, if he were honest. But he knew he had people who cared, people who wanted to make sure he'd be alright.
Oddly enough, he had Tai. As much as they'd argued and fought and stood side by side, he was the last person Matt thought he's even try to open up to. Yet here he was, vulnerable in his friend's arms, and Tai comfortable with everything, knowing that he would open when he was ready.
Matt smiled slightly and closed his eyes. He knew without a doubt... Tai would always be there, and would always have his back. Even if they couldn't stand each other sometimes.
But he just wasn't ready to expose his shattered heart to anyone yet. He didn't think he would ever be ready.
"You know I'll always have your back. If you need to talk, I'll be here." Tai assured him softly, keeping a steady rubbing motion on his back. "We all will, Matt. Don't be afraid to tell us how you feel."
Matt nodded and decided it was smart to stay close to Tai for tonight- for the warmth, of course. Totally because of the warmth. Not because he needed the close contact or liked how Tai felt around him or anything... which is exactly what he planned to tell Tsunomon when they woke up in the morning.
"Thank you." Matt said softly.
"Anytime, man. Now please get some sleep. We're gonna have to explain this to Koromon and Tsunomon in the morning. Oh boy, this should be a fun time..." Tai rambled on. Matt, who had gotten fairly comfortable by that point, was already slipping into a dreamless sleep before Tai even finished his sentence.
The darkness still had a strong grip on his heart, but at least now, after tonight, he knew there was some hope. He just had to keep trying, and keep fighting against it.
'Tai... maybe you are the one that might just save me. Maybe...'
And done! I dunno what I'd been doing when I originally typed this. But I loved these two (Matt is my favorite DigiDestined, followed by Tai) and their friendship/'bromance' always amused me.
Please let me know what you think of this one. Constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated, especially since this is my first finished Digimon fanfiction.
Until next chapter!
