Chapter 1.0[Unfortunate grail war]
"YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF BLUEBERRY!".
There wasn't much that lancer expected from this holy grail war.
The spearman dodged out of the way of the kids armoured fist as it caused the building behind him to explode.
A good fight with strong opponents was one thing he expected at least.
This wasn't one of them.
"Boost!,Boost!,Boost!".Damn was that gauntlet talkative.
A kid who was at the wrong place and time leading him to make sure there weren't witnesses became a rampage through town as said kid somehow didn't die from being impaled and now had a gauntlet that apparently let him demolish thing's llike they were made of paper.
As the servant and master continued they're battle into the distance, saber couldn't help but wonder how this even happened.
/
"So".
"..." the entire thing was ridiculous.
"How exactly did you summon tiamat?, isn't that y'know impossible?" honestly, rin couldn't even begin to understand how Kieran was able to pull this crap off.
"...Well. I'm a mechanical abomination that has a dragon in his right arm and tends to spend my down time killing myself through copies. At this point i wouldn't be surprised if i summoned two beast's at once".
Tiamat, having needed to crouch down even as she was sitting, voiced her own opinion in the matter. Even though her language was more akin to singing a note rather than using words.
"You did not just say!".
"...What did she say?".
"I think it's best if I didn't translate".
/
"YOU DAMN MONGREL!".
The endless barrage of Gilgamesh's treasures flew forth at him.
Kieran, rather than dodge like any sane person, simply stood in place as he shot at the king of heroes with his two handguns.
He unloaded Cthuga and ithaqua into archers direction.
Thanks to some unnamed Noble phantasm, Gilgamesh was left unharmed. Kieran on the other hand...
His body was riddeld with myriad weapons, four in his chest, one in his left leg, two in his right and arms where equally impaled.
And a sword going through his left eye.
And grinned.
Gilgamesh glared as the treasures that impaled Kieran begun to warp and collapse as his body ate them.
With sickening crack's and pop's six segmented, bladed limbs exploded from his back. Silver blades on black carapace, he grinned as he looked up at Gilgamesh With his new eye.
"You mad?".
/
There was certainly alot tammamo didn't expect of her master.
For instance, she didn't expect to find out that her master was a metal skeleton.
Or that said metal skeleton was currently holding the unconscious body of a very large man.
Berserker?.
"Yo, I'm Kieran and I'm guessing that your my servant".
"how did you do that?" the avatar of amaterasu asked, the commande seals visible on his skeletal right hand.
"Punches. Lot's and lot's of punches. So!, up for a bath?".
-Later-
"And then there was that time i punched gaia to death".
The two had conversed over dinner that tammamo had cooked, pretty good actually.
Kieran's lower body had finished regenerating leaving him now with half of his attire while his upper body had already Regenerated his obsidian flesh.
"Hmm, interesting. Master perhaps After this we should go out and look for other masters".
"Hmm, we'll it's better than what i thought of".
-Later-
A battle royal had brocken out.
And a strange one at that.
A battle royale waged by tammamo no mae and the tammamo nine. The only difference between them was the colour of their clothing and choice of hairstyles.
How did this happen in the first place?, well after having bested the odds and even surviving the terror that was the tohsaka, emiya alliance. Kieran and his faithful caster had reached the holy grail, however it had split tammamo's power in the form of the tammamo nine.
The holy grail war had changed.
The prize for the victor among these terrifying vixens?.
Kieran himself.
"Honestly, who writes this crap?".
/
"Honestly, you guys seriously piss me off".
The cavern was illuminated by the crimson glow of the thing that inhabited the grail.
"Always getting in the way...you just love messing with me".
Shirou couldn't help but find this loop suspicious, first was the fact Kieran wasn't around which was odd considering how loud he can be when fighting.
Second was the servants that were summoned, lancer was some black Knight, berserker was a coiling mass of metal, caster was a laser spamming cowl and assassin was a black fog.
Third was that kirie was nowhere to be found.
"Rerouting power from wish granting systems. deactivating holy grail formation".
All of that was unfortunately answered by Kieran apparently looping in as the third war's avenger.
Avengers form was that of the grail, a black fluid overflowed and begun to spill onto the ground. The grail began to change, eyes snapping open as red orbs glared at the world and mouths forming and shrieking in distain for this place.
From the black sea, similar organs were forming as black tendrils rose up.
Black, flesh like tendrils shot out of the grail and formed into bulbous, sphere like shoulders that soon had metal plates grow over. The rest of the grail changed as well, becoming a abdomen devoid of skin the visible flesh black instead of red.
The tendrils below joined the tendrils above, forming together into legs in a similar state to the abdomen though covered by a layer of jagged, shifting metal that had the occasional hole.
It produced arms from it's shoulders, the left bicep was lacking in anything metal which the rest of the arm made up for as it gave way to a robotic limb interlaced with muscle fibres ending in an oddly shaped hand. The right bicep was mix of both giving way to a look that gave the impression that the black flesh grew over the machinery, the rest of the arm was completely organic looking ending in an equally odd shaped hand.
Then the head formed.
A primarily human structure, two red orbs on the right side acted as eyes Below was a metal plate that parted to reveal flesh rending fangs, the left side was drastically different. A single normal blue eye above a parted slit of flesh that revealed normal teeth.
"Shirou emyia, ally of justice. Artoria Pendragon, king of Britain".
The voice he had used was now distorted, tendrils extending from his back ending in blades of various shapes.
"Rin tosahka, shining gem. EMYIA, crystallised justice".
He begun to make a slow advance upon them.
"Sakura mato, grail vessel. Medusa, cursed protector".
"Rerouting power to avenger system. Engaging higher reality observation, kaleidoscope".
"Preparing container for sprit manifestation, heavens feel".
"... You think you can kill me?" it seemed less like a question and more like someone questioning anothers sanity.
"This isn't the first time that we've stopped all the world's evils".
Chuckling.
He slowly chuckled that the boy's answer.
"Evil?. No. To be evil is to willingly make others suffer for no apparent reason or gain. I am not evil. Even if this isn't 'me' this DESIRE is much his as well".
"Desire?. what could that reckless idiot desire that would leave others dead?" rin asked it.
"It's simple, why must i be around you?. I'd be content to simply drift alone in the void, alone no-one to try and kill me, vex me with their existence, annoy me with their repetition. Ah, the wish granting system, grail had already accessed the base code of this 'world' a week ago. I thought i could exploit this little game of yours to gather information to mess with, that was before you demolished the 'competition'. Perhaps you discovered this 'me' and wondered how this happened...".
His pace stopped, a second forearm formed from his left elbow. The flesh wrapping around a cannon.
"Or... It's that damn tree messing with me again".
Weapons suddenly spawned from his form and fired, the masters and servants jumping away from the hail of bullets and other ordinance.
Magic, swords, gems and chains flashed and flew and avengers form was pelted.