This is just a stupid crack-fic that me and my friend made up during study hall since we got sooo bored and decided to make a little death book when my friend brought it up! I hope you like it and remember, none of this is to be taken seriously. Yes, I do have a twisted sense of humor...so I've been told by my friends after they stopped laughing their asses off lol.
1. Lucius Malfoy - Aril 29, 2007 - 2:06 am - Drops soap in shower, gets raped, stabbed, kicked, and bitten before committing suicide by jumping out of a window at Azkaban after confessing his love to Hagrid in a letter.
2. Voldemort - May 3, 2007 - 12:00 am - Gets a paper cut on pinky before committing suicide to prevent any sort of infection.
3. Hagrid - May 4, 2007 - 2:14 pm - Commits suicide after finding out his secret lover, Voldemort, died and after reading a horrifying letter from Lucius Malfoy.
4. Ronald Weasley - June 12, 2007 - 1:15 pm - "Jumps" off a cliff after proposing to Hermione, who turned up his dead body less than 2 minutes later.
5. Hermione Granger - June 14, 2007 - 2:05 pm - Haunted by Lucius, Voldemort, Hagrid, and Ronald and soon plays cards with them before being murdered for winning.
6. Albus Dumbledore - August 23, 2007 - 7:19 am - Chokes and dies on a lemon drop.
7. Severus Snape - August 23, 2007 - 3:30 pm - Laughs his ass off at how stupid they all are and then decides to go out for an ice cream cone with Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter.