AN: please don't flame me! This was the joint product of three friends who are already borderline insane, who then got on a sugar high. NO OFFENSE IS MEANT! I REPEAT, NO OFFENSE IS MEANT
Disclaimer: I do not own ANYTHING relating to Harry Potter, royalty-wise. As it is, even if I was sued all you would get is a guitar pick, a safety pin, a suction cup, a paperclip, and some Mexican and Argentine money.
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"Oh, Voldemort!" Hermione Granger said in a high-pitched, girly voice. She was wearing a light pink sundress and matching ballet slippers.
"Please call me Tom," said Lord Voldemort who was kissing his way up her arm saying 'I love you, I love you, I love you"
Hermione suddenly stabbed Tom in the tushie, said a spell, and now was wearing all black leather with a matching whip. Then she tied Tom in the wall and started to whip him. When she was done, she untied him and
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In the middle of all this
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activity, Harry Potter walked into the room.
"TOM!" he screamed. "You said that I was your one true love and that we were going to elope together in Canada!" With that he ran out of the room, sobbing.
Hermione ran out, too. She grabbed Harry, dragged him back inside the room and locked the door. Hey, good things come in threes.
Unfortunately, Hermione's dirty little plans were ruined.
When she walked in the room with Harry in tow, she saw Tom straddling Dobby the House-Elf!
She was okay with it, though. Because where three is fun, four has to be better.
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And after many, many hours of
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They all ran away to a Mormon colony in Canada and lived freakily ever after.