Stell,

I never know how to start stuff like this. I wish I could think of a witty one-liner that'd impress you and make you laugh, but it's not as easy as all the romantic comedies that you watch make it seem. (You tell everyone that you don't watch them, but you can't hide it from me. I know your guilty pleasures.)

But, I digress. If you're reading this then I guess I finally built up the nerve to hide it in your desk or hand you it. Either way I'm glad you're reading this. You know me better than anyone else does and so you know how I'm the king at keeping what I feel bottled up inside. Even the good emotions...

What I'm trying to say is: I love you, Stell. I think that maybe you knew it all along. Maybe we've danced around it for too long. It feels like an eternity since I fell for your unforgiving gaze, your beautiful smile, your eyes that always seem so alive... I just fell for your Stella-ness. I could list all the little things that made me fall in love with you, but the lab is trying to go green and save paper. It wouldn't look good if the head of the lab went ahead and used all the paper that was available now, would it?

After Claire I didn't think that I'd be able to feel a love that strong for anyone else. But you proved me wrong, just like you always seem to do when I least expect it. Even just thinking of you now is making me smile like a fool. I feel like a helpless school boy in love.

I'm just glad that I was able to give you this note, and I can only hope you feel the same. I don't want to waste any more time. I want us to begin. I've spent too much time living in the past with ghosts. I'm ready to start my life with you. I think it's the only way that this was supposed to play out. I'm just sorry that I waited so long.

You just burst into my office and told me you had news. You seem so happy, it's infectious. Maybe I can tell you in person? Maybe.

I love you. Remember that.

Love, Mac.

Stella's breath caught in her throat as she read the note, that was in Mac's neatest script. The ring on her left hand seemed to wink at her, as she brought her hand with the note down onto his desk. Why hadn't he told her sooner? Closing her eyes she allowed her mind to take her back to the night that she assumed he'd written the note. The knot in her stomach tightening with every passing moment.

"What is, Stell?" Mac asked, eventually leaving his office and joining the female detective in the break room. He seemed different. Happier.

"I just figured you should be the first person I tell." She beamed.

Mac beamed back. Something was definitely different about him, but Stella overlooked it, just this once. "C'mon. Tell me Stell. Don't keep me waiting."

The Greek detective held up her left hand proudly. The small diamond ring on her third finger was clearly visible. "He proposed, Mac. Can you believe it?" she asked, almost jumping in excitement.

Mac's face dropped. "No." The word had slid out of his mouth before he could have even thought to have stopped it.

Stella's eyes caught on his as she stood stock still. "What?"

Mac's mind almost exploded with possible sentences. 'You can't, I love you', 'I'm in love with you. Marry me instead', 'Please. You can't.'. Thousands of possible lines rushed through his head like a freight train. He could tell her all these lines and a million more in the vain hope that it'd change things. That she'd break down and confess that she felt the same and that she would rather be with him. Given the chance he would give anything to have her confess that their friendship could become more. But as his eyes held her gaze he realized he couldn't do that to her. He couldn't do that to her. He couldn't do that to the woman he loved. She was so happy and he couldn't risk that. No matter how much his heart protested. He shook his head. "I just can't believe that he finally got his act together and asked you, Stell... I'm so happy for you." His words sounded forced and fake but he gave it his best shot. "Come here," he said pulling her into a tight embrace. "You deserve the best Stell, remember that. If you're happy then I am happy too." He allowed the smell of her hair to overpower him as the tears stung at his eyes.

She should have been able to read the signs on that night. Her own tears had formed and started to fall upon the note. Bleeding the ink from the paper.

"Stell," her head shot up and looked in the direction of the door. Adam stood cautiously watching her, "you shouldn't be the one doing this." he added quickly, crossing the room in a couple of strides and taking her into his arms.

The female detective managed to slide the note into her pocket before allowing herself to be embraced. "I miss him."

"We all do."

"You don't understand." she protested like an indifferent teenager.

Adam pulled back from the hug and cupped her face in his hands, "You're my wife. I will always understand you." he told her gently before kissing her forehead. "The funeral is tomorrow. Please. Rest before then. If not for my sake, then do it for Mac's. He wouldn't want you to make yourself sick. I'll finish up here. Please, Stell."

Stella nodded, too weak to argue any case. "Thank you." she placed a kiss on his lips and made to leave.

"I mean it though. Rest." He warned, almost mirroring his wife's tone.

"I will," she lied convincingly. In her pocket she ran her fingers over the note; knowing full well that she would spent all night reading it over and over again. Sleep would be eluding her for a while. A trait she had picked up from her best friend... from the romance that never was.

I'm sorry. Apparently my writers block is cured my angst, angst & then some more angst.