Chapter I: Ashitaka

Ashitaka had heard the wolves before. He had heard them every night as he
had lain within the cold, hard walls of Irontown, waiting without sleep for the
night to end. He hadn't slept since he had come out of the forest, if a forest it even
was anymore, since it had been filled with cruel stumps and fearsome creatures.
Of course even before the spirit had gone there had been stumps and creatures, but
these were different. Even the townspeople could see the change as the land
outside their outpost became more jagged, more harsh, more wild. But to
Ashitaka, who lived with the land instead of off of it, the change could be felt
within him. He didn't only see the shadows lengthen and the beauty of the forest
fade, but he knew it, he felt it. He saw in his mind how changes were slowly
creeping over the forest. He cried out with pain as each fragile fern wilted and
was often seen to throw an arm over his face as if in fear of some unseen monster.
For these reasons he wouldn't sleep, couldn't sleep, knew he shouldn't sleep. And
for these reasons he waited.
The night had come, he knew by the howling of the wolves that echoed
throughout the hills. He heard San's voice among them, straining to hide her
human chords but unable to mask herself completely. Hearing them thus and
feeling what they had to say Ashitaka knew that his long sleepless wait had ended.
Suddenly, all at once, the pain of suffering rushed in and hit him so badly that he
reeled. Once, twice, three times and then… nothing. Ashitaka had fallen asleep
and his wait had ended.
Ashitaka, no longer prince of his people, had been waiting for sleep for
exactly 4 days 2 hours and 35 minutes before he finally collapsed, relived of the
pain of the wild. He had come to Irontown after leaving San… alone. After the
great spirit had fallen, after the last of the great animals had died, after… he
couldn't think about "after" anymore, it just added to what was already weighing
on his mind, pulling down his whole body and probably his whole life with it. As
soon as he had come to Irontown 4 days, 2 hours, and 35 minutes ago, he had felt
the wall. The spirit was leaving him just as it was leaving the forest and the wall
seemed to cut off his mind from the outside world he had always known. The
thoughts of the grass and trees were no longer known to him as they had been for
his entire life, and at first he blamed it solely on the wall. But soon he realized that
although the wall physically cut him off, it was the absence of the spirit, the giver
of all life, that was shutting out his thoughts. The Great Spirit had been something
every living thing had in common, they all felt him, all had been created by him
and now… now he was gone. The greed and lust which had killed the spirit had
killed with it the connection between humans and animals, the plants and the sky,
the stars and the water. The world was changing and Ashitaka knew he had to wait
until the end of the change lest he miss anything.
*
The wolves and San had let out their last mournful cry, Ashitaka had fallen
asleep, the spirit lay dead over the forest and the whole world held its breath as it
slept. The earth and spirits had changed while their eyes had lain closed and when
they awoke, the people and animals found everything different. The gradual
change of four days had gone almost unnoticed until it was complete. Ashitaka
had noticed of course, and so had San, and it had been causing them both great
pain. Morro would have noticed and the Boar God would have noticed, but they
were both dead and now the world had changed and there was no one to lead it
except two young adults who at this point felt very alone.
The first thing Ashitaka noticed when he woke in the morning was an
emptiness. Something not only within him was missing, but around him, the very
air he breathed felt like it was lacking something. Then he heard the rooster crow
as dawn broke and he knew what the emptiness had been. The rooster had crowed.
Not called, not spoken, not understood by Ahitaka as it had been before. Ashitaka
jumped up, his eyes wide and his muscles tense. He knew something was
changing but not… not… he wasn't prepared for this. Never could he have
guessed what the Great Spirit had done for them all: enabling all living things to
understand and speak to each other. They were all kin, the Great Spirit had created
them all equally, but the connection was gone and they were now all wild beasts.
Even the humans seemed wild to Ashitaka, moving without thinking and doing
without knowing as they always had. Since the world had been created, humans
had known and spoken with animals, taken it for granted, he saw now, although he
couldn't imagine life any way else. Right now… right now he couldn't think, his
hands tensed and untensed as Ashitaka paced the floor of hut, wall to wall, wall to
wall. Think, think, step, step, he paced like a caged animal. But right now he
couldn't think. Too many thoughts were crying for attention at once. He wondered
if this horrible change would last, what had happened, what he could speak to, but
most of all, why? Why? Why? WHY?. They all so desperately needed to be
addressed that he felt overwhelmed and started pounding the wall, trying to let
them out into the air. With that release came another and he ran from the hut, out
into the day, furiously running as fast as he could towards nowhere, but reaching
the massive front gate of Irontown all the same. A single image skillfully glided
above all he others and as he reached the giant gate of Irontown and beat it with
his fists, the though of Princess Mononoke pricked him. "San!" He screamed,
since he could only scream, not think anymore. San would know what to do. She
would know… she would know, if only he could see her, get to her, oh San! He
forgot in the midst of his troubles that he had promised himself not to go back to
the forest, not to see San again. He loved her, yes, he loved her, but they were
different. It would be better not to let himself love than to allow himself to be with
her. But now he had to see her.
Ashitaka flung himself against the gate in a blind confusion until finally it
cracked and he ran into the morning. "San!" he called, "San!" He sprinted towards
the ruined forest and spotted her loping with lupine fluidity towards him. She was
beautiful as the lines between human and animal melded in the rising sun for a
moment, half-wolf, half-girl and then they were so close that all Ashitaka could
see for sure was the glint in her eyes and the worried expression that mirrored his
own. They came within a step of each other and stopped close. They breathed
heavily with weariness and pain and relief for a long and seemingly never ending
moment until Ashitakaexhaled a quiet, "San." San let out a fierce bark in return
and the world snapped back into focus for the both of them. Ashitaka's shoulder's
bent and his world stopped for a mere moment with disbelief and unwanted
knowledge. "San…" He cried and this time she let out a low howl. They stared at
each other for one final time and he sank to his knees. San turned and ran as if
spooked back to the forest and a tear came softly into Ashitaka's eye.
San had become a wolf.