Summary: Chi-Chi, inspired by 'Saiyan Majesty' magazine, does her best to try to contort Goku into the next Prince Vegeta. Weird and Stupid, this story shows the nasty side of probably everyone.
Authors Notes: Yes, feel the wrath of my Trunks' authentic plastic sword *Kchhhiiiiinng*. For I do not own DBZ. Though, I do own all sorts of crappy DBZ mercendise. I suppose I must be stuck here again, this joke is wearing thin...ignore that, I just wrote down some lyrics from a song I listening to. Ignore me. Ignore me NOW! Ahem...
Goku ran through the streaming rain, his shoes sending up drops of glistening water. He ran to his home, where he could see it illuminated every so often with the wild clattering and clashing of thunder and lighting. He ran...and ran...and ran. Then suddenly *PING* an idea shot though his muffled mind.
"I can fly...can't I?" Goku murmured noticing with a giggle of glee at his own ingenuity about how his statement rhymed. Within a shot, Goku was up in the air, the cold rain wiping away the strange joyous expression in his face as he realised with regret, how cold rain really is when it's being thrust onto your face at 170 miles per hour.
Meanwhile Chi-Chi sat on her humble wooden dining table in her modern yet traditionally hygienic kitchen. Her legs crossed over the edge of the table as she read the current "Saiyan Majesty" magazine, endorsed with the Capsule Corp. logo, and strewn across the cover was the self titled 'oh-so-handsome yet so oh-so-humble and kind Prince Vegeta'. Chi-Chi chuckled as she flipped the pages slowly, being absorbed into the magazine's glossy imaging and intelligent dialogue.
'Prince Vegeta was seen in an exclusive supermarket where he reportedly saved a nine-month-old from choking on a rather large lollypop. The graceful and majestic Prince Vegeta gasped in the sheer terror as he viewed the mother watching with joy on her face as the infant tried to forcefully jab the elusive candy in it's overtly small mouth. With a royal shriek and the beautiful flash of the Prince's ebony wildfire like hair, he seized the lolly-pop and succeeded in saving the innocent baby who wailed and cried in favour of the most down to earth royal. Prince Vegeta, with a gleam of triumph in his eye, thrust the lollypop upward to be viewed by all the fortunate fellow shoppers who gasped in admiration. The mother served no respect for the poised and petite Vegeta as he lowered his strong arm to give the lollypop to his lavender-headed splitting image son. The shamed woman at this point was screaming obscenities at prince Vegeta who was shocked and dismayed to be accused of 'stealing candy from a baby'.
"A baby?" Prince Vegeta was quoted as saying "the brat was trying to choke himself! Best let my son, have the lollypop for safe keeping"
Safe keeping indeed! The vivacious son of a prince simply grinned and consumed the lollipop with no more the two ticks of the clock. And here ends our 'Vegeta saves the day - yet again' story for the week.
Written by your paid-$4000-per-word reporter Mirai Trunks "The original - the best"
(This week, I should get paid $972,000. That means, I can finally afford the spark plug from Vegeta-the raiser-of-inflation to transport myself from this hell back to my other hell! Suckers!)
Chi-Chi clasped her hands to her chest as she sighed in admiration. That Vegeta was a hero in her eyes. As she scanned through "How to keep the lower classes at bay - by Prince Vegeta" he turned as a crashing sound was heard directly above her head, followed by a whoosh...whoosh...whoosh.
"GOKU!" Chi-Chi screamed, throwing a spatula at Goku whom was revolving above Chi-Chi's head.
"Helppp...meeee..." Goku meekly screamed as his hair refused to become dislodged with the over-head fan. Causing his body to be taken on its own little amusement ride.
"Goku, you better not vomit cause if you do you'll be disinfecting the whole place before I even let you come down from the ceiling. You hear me?" Chi-Chi said as she slid off the table clasping the magazine underneath her arm. She went to her broom cupboard and pulled out the magic stick that Goku had as a child. Now on one of the ends, hung a rather weak looking piece of rag. This instrument called the 'magic extendable rag stick' was nifty, when it comes to poking people who were stuck in the air, spinning round and round. Goku didn't notice his friend the 'Magic Extendable Rag Stick' until he felt it being thrust upon him every time he spun around to a certain place. He saw a blur of yellow, which he guessed, as Chi-Chi, and made a note to himself about aiming for her should he feel the need to vomit. Chi-Chi glared upwards, trying the prise the fan off Goku's hair, avoiding his swinging legs when she heard the door click closed. Footsteps sounded in her hallway introducing her sons. The lighter footsteps of Goten stopped instantly as he stood in the kitchen doorway, staring at awe towards his father. Goten's eye's moved backwards and forwards following the motion of his father, unfortunately the fan was set to high power two hours before Goku's appearance. Gohan was slower coming into the kitchen and with a mere glimpse; he retreated into his bedroom mumbling about how his life was a hellhole.
"Whoa..." Goten drooled, hypnotised by the visual of his father. In Goten's childish hand he held a purple lizard, dozing, nestling against his orange uniform.
Chi-Chi stood staunch, holding her ground as she whacked with all her might, each whack exerting a yelp from Goku.
"I'm sorry Goku, but I guess you'll have to stay up there... " Chi-Chi hung her head in despair, handing the "Magic Extendable rag Stick" to Goten who proceeded to entertain himself and his little lizard friend by taking up the task of trying to hit his father down from the ceiling, much like a pinata. Chi-Chi sat back onto the table, reviewing the Saiyan Majesty' magazine which had a total of 50,000 subscribers. 1 subscription to Chi-Chi, 49,999 subscriptions to Vegeta. After a few yelping minutes Goten had a brain-wave flow through his seven-year old mind. 'Didn't the fan have an off switch after all?' he thought...indeed it did. He put the lizard tenderly on the table, the lizard poked its tongue out and scurried off to where Chi-Chi was intrigued by the magazine, before lying across her lap and sleeping. Goten reluctantly placed the stick down and proceeded his mission to find the off button for his father's mental sake. Chi-Chi looked up questionably at Goten who raised his head from under the table.
"Honey, what are you doing? Why aren't you beating down the fan and your daddy? I'm tired of the smell of sweat from your rotating father"
Goten grinned and pointed to the tip of his spiky mass of hair. "My brain told me to look for an off button for the fan" Chi-Chi shook her head, grasped Goten's arm and lowered in too where his brain should be.
"Oh dear me, I never thought about that! Gosh, that's a darn pity, if we'd had found the switch earlier before then our kitchen wouldn't smell of your daddy. If only he had bought the No sweat smell perfume that was advertised in the Saiyan Majesty two weeks ago" Chi-Chi said, waving a free hand away in front of her face.
Goten rummaged around the kitchen looking for the elusive switch
"Goten....by...the....fridge..." Goku yelled whizzing through the air, spreading his aroma. Goten looked up confused.
"In the fridge?" Goten grinned, this gave him the opportunity to go into the safe locked refrigerator and scavenge some food. Goten walked over to the fridge, chain locked and inaccessible and tried to blow the door apart with Ki shots. Meanwhile Chi-Chi was reading the 'Style' section in Saiyan Majesty Magazine, written by Bulma (through gritted teeth).
Hair...What is the latest style for hair now days? Is it the ugly, spiky, totally erratic hairstyles demonstrated by the poorer people (person) in the Saiyan race, or is the wonderfully manicured, tall, majesty hair gracing the head of the one and only Prince Vegeta. Yes, you have no doubt have chosen the right choice. Prince Vegeta, flame like hair is all the rage now and with our list of products, we can help you less fortunate beings to achieve this glamorous style. Check out the poses you can do with this hair style, modelled by Vegeta.
Products:
4 Tubs 'Vegeta Hair' mud
6 Cans 'Vegeta Hair' hair spray
4 extra combs
2 Hairs clips
Chi-Chi bit her lip, this was it! No wonder Goku got caught in the fan...his hair is screaming for long awaited attention. She cast her eyes up at Goku and made her mind up. As soon as he got down he'll be sent off to the hair-dresser to achieve the classic royal style of the saiyan's, and maybe he'll look dead sexy...dead sexy...Chi-Chi's eyes glazed over to become rather dreamy as she whispered 'dead sexy'. Suddenly she had a mental image of Goten with purple hair.
"Hmmm..." she murmured looking over at Goten who had resorted to trying to chew off the chains on the fridge with his lizard, visualising him as a stunning handsome boy with the softest tinge of purplish hair.
When will Goku ever get down from the fan? Where will Chi-Chi's obsession with the Saiyan Majesty Magazine take her? Is Gohan going to be as crazy as he is in my other story? Next time in Roll into One.