In Doubt
From bottom of my heart I can't understand why I act in an absurd manner whenever I'm close to him. When I'm by him, I try to deny what I truly feel. Sometimes I treat him like trash when he gets me angry. I'm certain I told him clearly not to address a woman from what they would not like to hear. It's as if my words goes through one ear, but comes out the other. The way he acts really ticks me off. Yeah, sure, to Ino he decided to call her beautiful when truly she's not. Could it be he thinks the opposite? Could it be true it's the same way towards me as well? And what if it is? I don't care what others think of me. But in the situation with him, I worry if he thinks low of me. I really don't know the reason behind it all. It can't be. Impossible. My heart is only dedicated to Sasuke. Since Sasuke's absence I swore to myself I will never lay eyes on anybody else but him. I think I broke that promise.
After I fixed my hair I looked at the mirror before me. I smiled in delight at the reflection. I was ready to eat breakfast with both Naruto and Sai at Ichiraku Ramen. My eyes winced as soon as I met the sun's bright greeting. I stretched my arms broadly and smiled as I thought of the perfect day for a great break.
As I walked I wasn't aware that a distance from me Sai leaned against the wall with his eyes shut and a thoughtful expression on his face.
"Sai!" I said as I flailed my arms to grab his attention.
He slowly fluttered his eyelids open and revealed a pair of dark, piercing eyes. He walked my direction, stopped before me and said with a smile, "Hi, hag."
I returned the smile and printed a big mark on his cheek with a slap across the face. He landed on the bare ground with a big thud. He deserved it because he had no right to call me that way when I talked to him in an ordinary way.
"Stupid," I said as I placed my foot on him and folded my arms, "How many times have I told you not to call me that way?"
"How come I can't call you hag? Hag."
He deserved a kick from me. He coughed spit out and moaned in pain. I sighed deeply and gawked at him as he slowly regained his composure. I'm certain I looked like an idiot as I stood there and gaped at him. I couldn't resist his strong features. I admired absolutely everything of him. His built body, dark eyes, pale face, everything. I quickly came back to reality and the both of us headed towards our destiny.
I broke the silence that filled the air around us as I said, "How come you have to call me a hag? Don't you have another nickname for me? Like Miss Sweet or Miss Pretty or anything like that?"
"No…" he simply said and continued, "That's the only nickname I can think of whenever I look at you."
Seriously. Doesn't he have a brain or is that the only nickname he can think of from the top of his head? I seriously hate him! I can't believe that I even thought for a moment that he strongly resembled Sasuke, but Sasuke never treated me as cruel as him. Maybe he has once or a few times, but he never dared to call me a hag. Mean Sai. Burn in living hell!
"Only…" I muttered between my gritted teeth as I felt the water boil deep inside of me. "You piss me off."
I ran with all my might. I couldn't understand the reason why, only that I had to escape from his cruel insults. He played with my heart as if it were a toy. I couldn't understand why I felt so cold inside whenever he treated me that way. All the doubts plagued my mind insanely. I had to find the answers to all my questions one way or the other.
Although I didn't dare look back, I didn't hear his footsteps try to reach mine or heard him yell out my name. Probably he doesn't care about me after all. Probably he doesn't feel the same way as I do towards him. Wait a minute. It can't possibly be I accepted my feelings for him. It's not fair. I'm so damn confused!
Tears ran down my face. Tears of sorrow, tears I cried of the pain Sai made me suffer that covered my face. I stopped in my tracks as I felt his warm breath against my face. He grabbed my wrist firmly and gave me a sensual look. I felt my heart skip a million beats as if it was going to jump out my chest any minute.
He finally said sincerely in a soft tone as he smiled, "I didn't know it hurt you so much whenever I called you a hag. I'm sorry."
With his soft hand he carefully cleaned the tears away that stained my face. I didn't know Sai could be so tender hence have such a great heart. I wasn't aware of this soft side of him. Most of all I didn't know he cared about me. I made my decision at that moment. At last I wasn't confused as I was before. It's official. I fell high over heels for him. But of course I couldn't let him know of my feelings yet. I sent him flying with another slap across the cheek. I chuckled softly as I smiled warm-heartedly. That was my way to show my appreciation towards him.
A/N: This is the english verision of "En duda". XD I'm so intimidated to type in spanish. lol I have to agree, it's pretty short, but it is a one-shot. Sakura makes a great couple with almost anyone. Like Sasuke, Sai, and Gaara, but definitely not Naruto. I say Naruto and Hinata are meant to be together instead of Naruto and Sakura. Hehe. Please review and let me know your thoughts on this!! I forgot to mention, this is my first SaiSaku one-shot in first person. Let me know how I did!! Please!! Thanks!!