Disclaimer:

This is a fanfiction story borrowing a couple of characters from the magnificent world created by

J. K. Rowling, and I don't claim any ownership over them or any other thing you might recognize from the Harry Potter books.

Chapter one: Summer Obsessions

"Don't! Don't do it, it's just a thought, just a thought, nothing more. It can't harm you, it doesn't change anything." Despite her fullest determination she still did it. It being checking her closet once more. Nothing there, no ghosts, no snakes, no robbers and certainly no death eaters. She proceeded, doing her special ritual. First checking under her charming cherry wood desk, it had belonged to her grandmother once. She then knelt down, allowing her Titian red locks to softly sweep against the floor as she searched under her bed. It was ridiculous, she knew that all right. She finished by gently stretching out her hand to see if the window was shut. It was. Like it had been the all the other 46 times she had checked it. "Fine" she thought slipping under the covers, resting her head soporifically against the cold pillow. But it wasn't fine, it never was. These obsessions were killing her! A few minutes later she was up again, this time picking up a black shirt that she had lazily thrown onto the floor. Black was such an ominous colour. She hid it beneath a grey sweater. Then finally was she able to go to sleep. Sweet sleep.

She woke up tired that morning. She was a mess, she knew it already, and the one gaze in the mirror confirmed that she looked the part. The dirty violet circles under her eyes glowed against her ivory skin like a pair of bizarre poisonous butterflies. My, she felt poetic today. She washed her hands, the touch of pure water crushing on her skin was soothing. An itchy sensation made her look down. Her hands were aflame with small bloody cracks, spreading about on her hands like roots. A moment later she was dressed, she skipped down to the kitchen, she'd never been one to miss breakfast. Her mother, June, had already left for work. She was an pharmacist at the small apothecary of Cokeworth. Her father, who was busy with a buttered crumpet at the moment, was the least disliked maths teacher at the nearby high school. She took after him in many aspects. They were both quite introverted and thoughtful. Too make sure his daughter didn't fall behind during the school year he prepared advanced problem solving for her. Lily was enormously grateful, she loved maths and she knew most wizards struggled even with simple logic.

"Well I'm off! Have a nice day Lily dear!"Mr Evans rose and exited. Lily heard the door close. A moment later she was joined by her older sister. Their relationship had been shaky for the last seven years or so. One had to tread carefully when dealing with Petunia. Luckily, this summer she was mostly preoccupied with her new boyfriend. Though Lily had never met the guy, rumours of his grand (in multiple ways) character had not escaped her. But she was happy for her sister, truly she was.

"You were up late last night. I heard you walking." Petunia mutters indifferently. So she's trying to have a conversation then. That's good.

"Yes, I had to check some things... the usual"

"You'd think they'd have a cure for that at your freakschool." Petunia used the word "freak" a lot. Especially when Lily or magic was involved. Lily sighed.

When she had finished her bowl of cereals, the unhealthy kind, she had to come up with something to do. Normally, she would have met Sev and discussed plans for the summer or relaxed under the shadow of their beech tree. But that was out of the question. She had forgiven him so many times and she felt like the only thing she could do that would have an impact on him was to avoid him. Then maybe he would rethink his ambitions and become the polite boy she once knew. But she had other reasons as well. It had been Marlene who notified her about it first. The strange looks Sev kept sending her. The way his obsidian eyes blazed when he thought no one was looking. Those eyes could set water on fire. It didn't quit add up with the rest if him, an austere, scrawny boy who was very guarded even around her. She had barely even heard him laugh. He always came across as quite aloof, though the right words from Lily could make his cheeks burn. Once she had observed these passionate stares she had been alarmed. At first she had thought he was crossed with her but when she asked him he had refuted it immediately. Then it had occurred to her that he might be having a crush on her. She didn't quite believe it but so many things would be explained. But then again maybe he wasn't. She decided that after the "lake incident" she had better keep him at a distance, Lily didn't want to lead him on or anything. She was a forgiving person and she loved her best friend, in a way reserved to best friends, but he had to realize that he was putting their friendship at stake when pursuing the dark arts.

Lily decided to have a pick nick for herself on a cliff, it wasn't that big but she liked it. It was one of the places where she and Petunia had liked playing and she wasn't worried about bumping into Sev, even though he had a knack for finding her. She had saved this one place as her own secret spot. She sat down amidst the pansies and harebells and enjoyed the view. The whole town was at display, it had a lazy air during summer. She couldn't see her house but she could clearly see the playground. She had brought some things to busy herself with. She began sketching the city landscape but tired after half an hour or so. She preferred portraits to landscapes. She read a chapter of "The Great Gatsby", but then lay down as the heat got to her. The direct sunlight had tired her and she sought shadow near some fragrant lilacs. The scent was intoxicating. She would never fall to sleep in a place like this, not even after having slept so little in the past week. But she closed her eyes and enjoyed the gentle breeze and the menacing smell of approaching rain hanging in the air. She stood up but had to sit down, her vision went black. Low blood pressure, how very Lilyish. She climbed down as fast as she dared knowing not to strain herself as she was exhausted from sleep deprivation and her blood pressure told her to take it slow. When she was just down the cliff a small summer rain broke out fulfilling the earlier promise . She walked calmly towards her house but the rain rapidly intensified. At least it was warm. Then the sky was illuminated by lightening. Then came thunder. Lily wasn't afraid but the sky had turned a cool grey and it was getting chillier by the second. She spurted the last bit, taking the short cut through the playground. She stopped short as she saw four hooded men. She knew right away that they were death eaters or aspiring death eaters. They had their backs turned to her and she stayed still. Crap, she hadn't even got her wand with her. Why where they here? It could only be because of Severus. Three hooded figures disapparated and one was left. Standing still as if contemplating something a moment, he then turned around and saw..

"Lily?" The rain blurred his vision as he softly formed her name.. But she had already picked up the pace.

Lily ran as fast as she could the short distance home. She shut the door behind her and locked it. She fell down, catching her breath. Her throat ached and she was about to cry. "Don't!" She said to herself but as of lately she never seemed to take her own advice. She couldn't stop the tears from falling any longer. What was wrong with her? This last year she had been so emotional and frankly... weak. She wasn't a little girl any more and she should be able to take care of herself. Lily sat thinking for a while, hugging her knees tightly. After having avoided becoming hysterical she entered the kitchen and glanced at the clock, it was 7 pm. Her parents should be back by now. A pink post-it on the fridge informed her that they had gone to visit grandpa and Petunia was out with Vernon. Dinner was in the oven.

The pale moonlight lit the room, illuminating all flaws. Her alarm clock had to be adjusted so the cable didn't brush against it. The same ritual as yesterday night began. When she secured the window shut her eyes were fixed upon that silver orb outside, slightly obscured by clouds. The moon was full. She thought of Remus and her heart was stricken with sadness. Was he in much pain? A rustling sound from the bushes outside startled her. She froze, she wasn't good at dealing with fear. A dark silhouette gracefully disappeared, swallowed by shadows. Lily thought she saw the reflection of a light face. But it might as well have been an animal. But it was a bit large. A deer maybe but that seemed unlikely. Or, her mind wandered back to earlier, it could have been a werewolf. She fetched her wand from the top drawer and placed it on her nightstand. Just in case, she thought. Strange things kept occurring all summer. She had lost her handbag when she had been out. It had been stolen she was sure. Lily wasn't the type to wear a handbag but she had worn one strapped to her shoulder because she had had on a skirt that day. She was feeling watched rather often and it worried her. In the middle of the summer Severus had stopped writing to her. First she was concerned but she figured it was best to let it go. He might actually be back to "normal" and able to enjoy his summer.

James stared at the letters in his hands. There were 17 letters on yellowish paper, no addresses and no names. They were from Snape to Lily, though they had never reached the intended person, instead they were grasped in James' hands. It all started with Lily telling Alice telling Marlene telling him that Snivellus bothered her by sending letters all the time even though the two, finally, weren't on speaking terms. So feeling a bit protective as he did it he managed to curse Snivellus owl to send him the letters instead. It had been very difficult but Moony had found a suiting spell. He hesitated for a moment but then opened the oldest one.

Lily,

I know I've been a fool. I'm sorry I hurt you and I'll do anything to set it right. Your last letter was like torture, you're my best friend. Of course I care about you, a lot, Lily, I really do. Please meet me at the usual spot tomorrow around noon. I have something to show you, you'll like it!

Yours,

Severus

Not hesitating a split second this time he opened the next.

Lily,

You didn't come today. That's okay. I understand. It really hurt my feelings to see that you don't care enough about me to come. But it's okay. Nobody does. My mother hasn't spoken to me all summer either. I guess that's just life, my life at least. I wished you would come see me.

Always yours,

Severus

That was.. creepy, James thought. Clearly he was trying to make her feel guilty bringing up his mother like that. Obviously a lie, Snivellus had always been a liar.

Lily,

I thought about when we were little. Remember the time you were scared that your parents would be angry for coming home late? And I told them that it was all my fault. We were so close back then, what happened? Surely one word in the heat of the moment isn't enough to erase seven years of friendship.

Yours,

Severus

Lily,

I thought about dying today... Nothing seems to matter any more now that you don't speak to me.

Sev

And there were 13 more following the same themes: making Lily feel guilty and care, desperate pleas for meetings and forgiveness, upsetting her by writing about how he was suicidal. Snivellus was a far more obsessive, manipulative, creepy git than James had ever given him credit for. This was scary, Snape was a real predator trying to lure Lily into meeting him by playing on her incomparable kindness. James was positively furious, his body trembling with anger. He hadn't expected his rival to be quite that twisted. The last letters were disgusting him and he was concerned for Lily, weren't the two of them almost neighbors? His thoughts were interrupted by the door flinging open. A tall, muscular teenage boy entered. James's face lit up.

"Padfoot!" James hug his best friend. He loved his sort of brother and he wasn't afraid of showing it.

"Hey! You've grown!" James examined his broad shouldered fellow marauder. James was 6 feet 2 so he wasn't exactly short himself but he was a bit annoyed that Sirius had outgrown him. All his life he had been the taller of the two but now with Padfoot measuring 6 feet 4 he felt odd. Padfoot leaned against the wall, revealing a muddy trunk left at the threshold.

"You're staying?" Sirius had been strangely quiet, normally there was no stopping him.

"My parents threw me out. My mother cursed me", Sirius paused holding his left arm up. It was coated with red scars. "I tried to get rid of them on the knight bus but it didn't work that well" He flashed his friend forced grin.

"Maybe mum can do something about it" James smiled reassuringly. The letters had completely escaped his mind.

"Then I'm off to Liverpool to live with Andromeda. I haven't managed to talk to her yet."

"Doesn't she have a little child, Nymphelia or something?" James asked.

"Yeah Nymphadora, she's a darling. Bit me last time I saw her. It's only until I find somewhere to live." Sirius started twisting a raven black lock around his finger, a habit he had when he was worried, which truthfully wasn't often.

"Don't be daft Padfoot, you're staying here" There was a short silence. Gone were all the troubles.

"Thanks mate"