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This fic diverges at the end of Season 3, Episode 21: Before Sunset. Note: This was written before watching Season 4, Episode 16: Stand By Me.

Trigger Warning: Talk of suicide and descriptions of suicidal actions.

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Elena felt like the weight of the world was simultaneously crushing her, and as if she was completely numb. Everything the last few days was entirely too much for her to comprehend and yet, in her protracted grief, she felt a new kind of clarity. Everything was her fault. If she had died on the bridge with her parents, none of this would have happened. Vampires wouldn't be crawling all over Mystic Falls, Bonnie's Grandmother would still be alive, Alaric wouldn't be a killer. The list went on.

She let herself into her house, wanting nothing more than to fall into her bed and vanish into the pillows, but she was brought up short by noise from the kitchen. Of course nothing was as simple as she wished, so the brunette put on a smile and let her friends lead with celebration shots, but Elena knew the real score. Everything would be so much better if she had never survived driving off the bridge. Finally Bonnie, Tyler, Caroline, and Matt stumbled to the door and said their goodbyes. Jeremy closed the front door before walking into the half painted room and opening a can of paint.

"Are you going to stay up for a bit?" Elena asked, leaning in the doorway.

"Yeah, it's been a long day but I don't think I could sleep yet." The young man nodded.

"Okay, well I'm going upstairs. Goodnight." The brunette waved at her little brother's back and escaped to her room.

Once the door was closed and she was alone, Elena reached into her pocket and pulled out three glass vials. She stared at the thick red liquid in the vials and let the tears come for all of those that had died or lost everything because of her. Even though it wasn't her fault, she never asked for any of the responsibility of being a doppelgänger, Elena knew she had the power to stop all of it. If only she didn't exist, there would be no reason for Klaus to stay in Mystic Falls, and none of her friends would be targets. Jeremy could go to school without worrying if his ring would save his life that day, Caroline could live her life in peace. And the Salvatores would never be divided by her again.

Her plan had been thought out weeks ago, if things ever got out of hand, she could pull the plug on everything. All it took was the final step. Elena's fingers shook as she fingered the little bottle with a crude S written in permanent marker on the cap. Then she looked at the bottle marked with a D in her other hand. She knew that Damon and Stefan would be devastated by what she was contemplating. All of her friends would. But it would be a fleeting pain. They would get on with their lives and have families and eventually they wouldn't hurt so much. And most importantly, they would be alive.

Elena broke the seals on the two bottles and upended them into her mouth at the same time. Thick copper flooded her tongue and she fought the urge to gag around the taste. She scrunched up her face and swallowed, licking the blood from her teeth. Still feeling like she was sucking on a penny, the lithe brunette dropped to her knees to reach under her bed for a box that held the supplies for the next step in her plan. The only reason she had decided on this method was Jeremy would be taken care of and he could have a fresh start, away from a lifetime of memories. It would bring as much closure as she could provide.

She quietly moved one of her chairs into the hallway to reach the smoke detector at the top of the stairs. Once the battery was replaced with a drained 9 volt, the brunette shouted down the stairs.

"I'm going to take a bath, okay?"

Jeremy's voice was muffled from the downstairs bedroom. "Yeah, do your thing."

"I love you Jer." Elena hollered, trying not to let the guilt affect her decision.

Not hearing anything else, the doppelganger went to the bathroom and turned the tub on to fill with cold water while she exchanged the batteries in the rest of the upstairs rooms. By the time she replaced the chair in her bedroom and carried the box into the bathroom, the tub was full so the brunette turned the tap off and began pulling half empty nail polish bottles and used cans of hairspray out and lining them up on the counter. A few towels and an old ratty cell phone charger remained in the box so the young woman removed those too. She hoped that by using household items commonly found in a bathroom, the insurance company wouldn't look too closely at the cause and just pay out the money.

A few minutes of arranging the beauty supplies and cell phone had Elena satisfied. She tiptoed back into her bedroom for a change of clothes to add to the towels soaked in hairspray and nail polish. The brunette looked around the bathroom again, trying to remember all of the things she had seen on TV about determining the source of ignition in fires. For this to work, everything had to be just so if she had any hope of fooling everyone. Now she just needed an innocent source of ignition.

For her entire plan to work, Elena needed a delay for the final step and she frowned. Somehow in all her planning, she hadn't thought of anything to do the trick. Afraid that she might have to do something more drastic and less apparently accidental, the brunette had an idea. It only took a few more minutes to gather all of the candles from her room and find a lighter in Jeremy's dresser. Everyone knew it had been a stressful day, and candles always made baths more relaxing. The accelerants on the counter could be chalked up to a forgetful teenager with far too many beauty products. Lastly, Elena placed her journal next to the shortest candle, sure to position it so the pages would catch after a few minutes and then she lit every candle.

Finally satisfied, the young woman stripped out of her clothes, sure to toss them carelessly towards the candles sitting on the floor. For this to really work, it had to be a large blaze, not something easily extinguished. It had to be hot enough to destroy the house completely so her body would be expected to be destroyed. Because no matter how self destructive the brunette was, she didn't really want to die. She just didn't want to live any more, and the closest thing to dieing, was completely disappearing. Knowing she was running out of time, the brunette stepped into the tub and bit her lip at the freezing water.

Water sloshed almost to the edges of the tub when she sunk to her knees, and Elena clutched the last bottle to her chest. This was the final moment. She eyed the flame licking closer to the pages of her diary. All or nothing. She kept her mind purposefully blank as the candle caught on the book and spread towards the towel. Smoke began filling the room and the brunette exhaled deeply before plunging forward into the icy water. At the sudden cold on her skin, the young woman instinctively wanted to breathe in and jump out of the tub but she fought to hold her breath and remained face down in the water.

Sounds were muffled under the water, but she still felt the whump when the hairspray soaked towels caught fire. Smoke would be filling the room, and she knew that even if she lost control now and emerged from the water, there wouldn't be fresh air to save her. Suddenly she knew for a fact that she was going to die. She was unable to keep from inhaling any longer and the cold water shocked her lungs even as she fought to stay down. Hopefully the fire would be large enough to destroy everything before the emergency services arrived.

Elena's last thought was of how devastated the Salvatore brothers would be when they got the call that she was gone. But it would be for the better and she didn't fight the darkness coming to claim her.