Title: home sweet home
Rating: K+
Character(s): Zuko
Word Count: 1,500
Summary: All roads lead to Ba Sing Se.
He comes back to Ba Sing Se with a heavy heart and blood on his hands.
He wears mostly black armor, but has a green robe in his bag just in case. Wearing his hat low, he keeps his dual swords hidden and doesn't dare to look at anyone in the eye (though they probably wouldn't even recognize him with his healed scar).
If people knew who he was, they would've told him not to return. Why would they want to bring more war and destruction upon their city?
But if anyone ever found out about his past, Zuko knows it would never be because of him. With his scar gone, he was free to build himself a new life. He could finally discard of his old life, shedding away the past like a shirt too big for him.
He has enough money to get on the train and walks to his uncle's old tea shop, just below the apartment they stayed at before he joined the avatars' side. Oh, how long ago that seems, when in reality it was only a few months ago.
His uncle always told him time has a funny way of playing tricks on you, moving slowly when you want it to go faster and moving as quick as it could when you would do anything for more of it. He never understood him until recently.
There are so many other cities he could've gone to that risk less exposure, but he had to come back here for a reason (even though he's probably not going to do anything about it for a while because avoiding and then acting out is just how he's always handled things).
He's been standing in front of the tea shop for a while but he can't bring himself to enter. The place looks worn down, empty. The art on the wall that was once exquisite and lovely now seemed dull and plain. The wall itself was peeling off and most likely infected by insects and other bacteria. The entire shop looked dead. It probably hasn't been open since he went over to the avatars' side.
He wants to put off the reason he came here, so he decides to roam the streets.
He hasn't been here for a while, and meandering through this road makes him feel nostalgic. This is, after all, where some of the most important events in his life took place.
As he passes the Firelight Fountain, he remembers a girl named Jin from what seems to be a thousand lifetimes ago and how she took him here and called this her favorite place. He remembers telling her to cover her eyes so he could light the lanterns for her. He remembers their kiss and afterwards, thinking, "How could I have gone my whole life without doing this?".
(He wonders now if she is still alive. He will never let them encounter again, and if they do, he won't acknowledge her. Simply because people like him don't deserve someone like her, but still, he can't help but wonder.)
He remembers a simpler time. He remembers when life was tough, but not impossible. He remembers happiness.
He tells himself that he will always remember this city, even after it has been destroyed and the poems and epics written about it have been consigned to oblivion. He will never forget the things that transpired here.
Looking around, he realizes some of the streets here have gotten more unsafe. Not unusual, considering the circumstances that are currently happening. With his sister as firelord, his father as the new Phoenix King, and the avatar gone, there was no more hope. And everyone knows it.
The streetlights are flickering, and no one walks the streets anymore, like they used to. And where he remembers a house or restaurant, a pile of rubble is in it's place instead.
To put into other words, this place isn't what it used to be.
(Foolishly, he had wished for Ba Sing Se to remain the same. He knows that he should have expected some differences, but everything else in his life was changing so much and he's never been one to adapt fast enough. He couldn't help but hope for one thing in his life to not change. Quite foolish, indeed.)
Power and glory are two everlasting beasts that rule this city. It moves from one nation to another, marking and ruining everything it touched.
He isn't afraid. Not even when he exceeds the limit of the middle class ring and is now reaching the edge of the lower. He's not scared when he sees dangerous looking men eye his dual blades a moment longer than they should and try to catch a glimpse of his face to determine whether he is another predator or a prey.
His uncle has showed him everything he needs to know. He doesn't forget anything his uncle has taught him.
It's not surprising to him when he has to use his swords while walking down a particularly dark street, famous for it's muggings and murders. He quickly overpowers the obviously malnourished assailant, and feels guilty throbbing in the pits of his stomach. Times are hard. He knows better than anyone.
He contemplates slicing the mans' neck with his sword or letting him live before he decides to knock him out and lean him against a wall.
He walks away, unscathed; like nothing even happened.
One foot in front the other, one foot in front of the other is what he tells himself over and over again to continue to walk. He can't tell if this a good idea or a bad one, and quite frankly, he honestly doesn't care (because this is something that needs to be done).
He knows where he's headed and he knows that what he's looking for will still be there. He's been a coward all his life but he won't be one now.
His uncle's grave will still rest there. Everyone has respect for the dead, even the Fire Nation who has destroyed everything.
He heads towards his uncles' grave. He's never had a good memory but this is one of the few things he won't (can't) forget.
Where his dead uncle (father) resides.
"Hello uncle," he starts, voice cracking a little. He will not cry, he will not cry, he will not cry. He kneels down, and doesn't mind that his clothing will get dirty, he can already feel the mud seeping in.
"I never really know how to start these things. You know better than anyone that my emotions control me more than I control them. I'm going to give this a try, though. You deserve at least this much." his hands grip the dirt underneath him and he knows they will be stained later on.
"I'm sorry, uncle. That I never listened to you. You were trying to guide me to the right path but I just didn't listen—I didn't know what to do. This is all my fault, I know it is. If I just listened to you, we wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be alone in the world, a runaway and fugitive once again, without you this time. And you wouldn't be dead, under a tomb with your named spelled wrong."
This rain comes pouring down all at once, and it seems fitting that the sky starts crying the same time he does too. he thought he would feel angry, but he doesn't. He just feels sad.
"I'm going to be better, uncle. I'll make you proud. I'm going to do anything in my power to fix this—to right my wrongs. I'm going to do what you've always wanted me to. Thank you. For always being there for me and for being more of a father to me than my real one ever was. Thank you for your love and dedication and wisdom, even though I didn't deserve any of it."
He draws out his blade, the silver dagger that Uncle Iroh gave to him when he was still a happy little boy living in the palace with his mother and father and sister and slices himself across the palm of his head and sticks the dagger in the dirt, right on top of his grave.
"So that you know I'll always be here, protecting you." Zuko explains like he can actually hear him and gets up.
That was it. That was what he came here for. Just to let his uncle know he was going to change and do right by him. To let his uncle know that he loved him.
As he walks out the cemetery, he swears he can burnt wood and jasmine tea.
I hope you guys understand what's happening in this au! I could've came right out and said everything that was happening but I just wanted to leave little hints. Hopefully, they aren't too hard to decipher.
Please review, even two words will make my day.