Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei. But you never know!
A/N: Hi all! Just a fluffly ficlet about Tsuzuki's remembrance of his first kiss with Muraki. Enjoy!
Humming under his breath, the dark-haired guardian stepped back, surveying his handiwork. Biting his lip, he noticed that he had hung a little sprig too low and set about to fix it. A couple minutes later, the slender man nodded, satisfied.
Perfect.
Tsuzuki picked up the small basket filled with bunches of mistletoe and crossed the room. One hanging from the doorway would be good, he thought, picking through the plants and plucking one out. Setting to work, Tsuzuki wondered if he was going just a tad overboard with his idea. He paused, violets scanning the study room. Small mistletoe sprigs hung from doorways, the balcony double doors, and window sills. And he just finished hanging a couple from the ceiling.
Smiling, Tsuzuki shook his head and continued his task. There can never be too many as far as he was concerned. Besides, it wasn't all his idea. His lover had a hand in this. That morning, Tsuzuki, thoroughly sweaty and spent from a particularly vigerous lovemaking session gazed at Muraki happily and that's when it hit him.
I can kiss Kazutaka anytime I want.
Hanging the last of the small plants, Tsuzuki gathered the materials to put away. He glanced at the nearby clock noting that Muraki would return in about 30 minutes which gave him enough time to wash up and get dinner started.
Muraki and Tsuzuki had been living together for two months.
And during that time, Tsuzuki was discovering more and more in the ways of physical pleasure that Muraki was only too happy to teach. This morning's discovery gave Tsuzuki the confidence to have a bit of fun with his silver-eyed lover and gave him the idea of placing mistletoe all over his lover's study room. He knew he didn't need an excuse to kiss Muraki. It was just for fun. But it was a way for Tsuzuki to break out of his overly shy nature, to be playful.
In the kitchen, Tsuzuki went to work, collecting various pans and utensils for a simple meal.
Kissing.
When the thought of his being able to kiss Muraki anytime, anyplace, it set in motion his little project. And rather than think too hard on the matter, the guardian went ahead with it.
Tsuzuki felt himself growing. By no means was it by leaps and bounds. More like baby steps. But he was definitely moving forward in that regard. When Muraki saw the room he hoped the doctor wouldn't think it too silly or juvenile. Tsuzuki quickly focused on the veggies in front of him. He didn't want to over think it and start second guessing himself. That would just end up making him nervous and flustered so no more thoughts in that direction.
Kissing.
That's it. I'll focus on kissing Kazutaka.
Tsuzuki relaxed. Kissing Muraki and thinking about kissing Muraki ALWAYS put him in a good mood. When had he become bolder in that area? Looking at the doctor's beautiful serene features, those soft well-defined lips certainly had something to do with it.
Sighing, Tsuzuki's mind drifted to memories of the beginning of their relationship, to that first meaningful kiss...
Soft classical music from the quartet of musicians drifted to their table. Violets took in the restaurant's ambiance; the elegantly dressed patrons; candlelight glowing from each table; delicious smells of food wafting in every direction; the rich decor of mahgony and rosewood. Of all the places the doctor had taken him to he found this one to be the most impressive. But rather than being intimated or feeling out of place, the guardian enjoyed taking it all in.
Besides, the food was fantastic!
Having just come from the theatre, both men now relaxed to a late supper in this elegant restaurant. Chewing a morsel of succulant roast beef, Tsuzuki gave himself time to think of a topic of discussion. However, Muraki beat him to it.
"So, Tsuzuki-san. Was the production everything that you had expected?" the doctor dabbed at his mouth with the deep blue cloth napkin. "The theater critics seem to be right in giving it favorable reviews. Normally, I go because it interests me regardless of what the critics say. Is that your feeling?"
The guardian gave a slow nod.
"Well...I don't go to the theater all that often. More like to the movies. And whatever interests me, I'll go. But if the buzz about that movie is pretty negative, I'm more apt to stay away and not waste my money."
Reaching for his wine glass, Tsuzuki took a sip of the garnet liquid. "But I did like this show. Just the fact that it's a hot ticket is pretty awesome."
Muraki chuckled and nodded his agreement. "Indeed. Well, I will have to expand your theater knowledge so that you may gain more experience in that area. There is nothing like a live production and live music to enhance the enjoyment."
The serene atmosphere helped Tsuzuki's comfort level immensely. He relaxed and fell into casual conversation with the doctor not in the least worried or self-conscious of what to say or how to act. Tsuzuki took quiet note of that fact and it took him aback at how easily it had happened.
This being their fifth date and Muraki had raised the stakes, so to speak, by surprising the brunette with a trip to a sold-out performance to a hit show. Excited, Tsuzuki had been a bit worried as to what to wear. But Muraki helped in that area too by calmly stating that, with Tsuzuki's permission, might he provide the necessary attire. Tsuzuki hesitated at first. He didn't want the doctor to buy him such an extravagant present. But Muraki gently stated that it would please him very much and that there would be no strings attached.
Now, Tsuzuki sat across the silver-eyed man dressed in the most elegant black three-piece ensemble he'd ever worn much less seen. And rather than be uncomfortable, deep down, Tsuzuki couldn't help feeling a little...special. And the way Muraki's silver eyes glowed at seeing him all decked out...well, that made the guardian's heart throb in a nice way.
And now...
Now, as Muraki was instructing their waiter on their next course, Tsuzuki took time to study his dinner companion's features more closely. His violets softened as his eyes outlined that straight nose...how a nose could be that perfect without cosmetic surgery, Tsuzuki couldn't fathom; silver brows that were neither overly thin or thick, framing eyes that reminded the guardian of sparkling diamonds. And those lips! For the hundredth time that night, Tsuzuki wondered at their feel pressed up against his own.
Tsuzuki sighed dreamily.
"Tsuzuki-san?"
"Oh!" The guardian blinked and snapped to attention. "Yes!"
The doctor frowned, concerned. "I asked if peach mousse would be all right for dessert. Are you tired, Tsuzuki-san? I know you have work tomorrow..."
"No!" Tsuzuki shook his head for emphasis. "I'm not tired! Really! I was just thinking about...about the show and the scene where the main character sang his solo...you know, Muraki. At the end!"
Muraki gave a nod but didn't seem convinced. "Nevertheless, perhaps we should call it a night after the dessert course. It's important that you are well rested."
"Oh no!" Tsuzuki bit his lip, dismayed. "I'm not tired, Muraki! Really! I still want to take that walk afterwards," the guardian widened his eyes, unaware the way his plum-colored orbs affected the silver blonde.
Muraki cleared his throat, his heart rate going up considerably. "Well, all right. If you are sure, Tsuzuki-san."
"I am!" Tsuzuki smiled, relieved. Then bowed his dark head to concentrate on his dinner plate. He was having a really nice time with the doctor and to have the evening cut short...well, just the thought caused Tsuzuki's spirits to sag.
Why was that?
They just had a few dates so far. And Tsuzuki was making the concious effort not to be swept up, to keep a cool head and see if Muraki had truly meant what he said about being through with that violent part of his life. And so far, Muraki seemed sincere. Being prompt and curteous as well as interested in Tsuzuki's activities at Meifu.
It wasn't long before Tsuzuki found his feelings for Muraki getting more and more complicated. While he promised himself to remain business-like, he actually looked forward to their time together. And when Muraki called, Tsuzuki practically felt...giddy. It was crazy. He was acting like a teenage girl.
But there was no denying that afterwards when they parted ways, there was a sense of sadness on Tsuzuki's part. A bit of a let down that the evening had ended so quickly.
Is it because...is it because...I'm falling...for...?
Tsuzuki mentally balked.
No.
He wasn't even going to contemplate love at this point. It was much too soon for that. The guardian was taking this relationship one step at a time for now. He felt an attraction for the handsome doctor, no question. And if he just based this relationship on simple lust, then there would be no hestitations. Not really. It would just then be a matter of satiating that lust and moving on.
But Tsuzuki was never the 'moving on' type. Not with matters of the heart. And, truth be told, when lying alone in his own bed, well into the wee hours, Tsuzuki thought of Muraki and his heart would ache with such a painful longing.
"Is it satisfactory, Tsuzuki-san?"
Starting, the guardian snapped back to the present. "It looks great," he remarked at the beautiful peach confection placed in front of him. And it tasted marvelous!
Both men savored their dessert and coffee. The conversation steered to general topics of weather, current events, and books. Tsuzuki was enjoying himself immensly.
But all too soon supper was over.
"Ready, Tsuzuki-san?" the doctor asked, placing his napkin on the table.
"Yes," rising from his chair, he followed Muraki to the front entrance.
"Did you enjoy the meal?" Muraki asked, helping the brunette with his coat. "If you did, we can always come back."
"Yeah, I did," Tsuzuki pushed his arms through the sleeves, smiling. "That'd be great." Facing the silver blonde, Tsuzuki lifted his chin. "Maybe a table outside when the weather warms up."
Silvers shimmered. "Of course." Long fingers straightened and smoothed the guardian's collar. "I'll keep that in mind."
Violets widened.
Oh!
It was happening again. His heart throbbing, that light-headed, fuzzy effect. This funny ripply sensation gnawing at the pit of his stomach. He couldn't blame it on hunger like he did the times before as he just polished off a wonderful four-course meal. So that could only mean...
"Tsuzuki-san?"
Now, those fingers glided along the guardian's smooth jaw and up to brush against a warm cheek.
"Are you all right? Your face is quite flushed."
"I...I..." Could his eyes get any bigger? And it actually tingled where the silver blond's fingers touched his skin.
"Shall we go outside? Perhaps some fresh air," the doctor suggested, eyes searching the smaller man's features.
Tsuzuki took a shaky step back, ducking his head hiding pink-stained cheeks. "S-sure," he mumbled, then bolted for the entrance. Watching the smaller man's retreating back, Muraki blinked in confusion.
What just happened? Is Tsuzuki-san that uncomfortable in my presence? But...he seemed so relaxed at dinner. I thought he was enjoying himself...
It was becoming more and more difficult for Muraki to hold back when he much rather pull the beautiful man into his arms and begin a more intimate aspect of their relationship. But it was the fear of rejection kept the silver blonde at bay. Those vivid memories of Tsuzuki's hate and scorn always in the forefront of his mind. But he did notice signs of Tsuzuki's willingness to be with him so that was positive progress.
But now this happens. He just didn't know what to make of it. Did he just imagine that Tsuzuki was comfortable around him?
Spirits deflated, Muraki followed Tsuzuki, stepping into the sharp night air. He spotted the slender guardian a little ways off, dark hair ruffling in the breeze and watched him for a few moments.
He looks so beautiful.
Muraki signed deeply, his heart constricting, a sudden sadness washing over him.
He doesn't trust me. I've been fooling myself into thinking that he trusts me...that it has changed between us...
"Tsuzuki-san!"
Tsuzuki started then spun around walking up to the taller man. There was a bright smile alighting his features.
"Muraki! I was just thinking that we could try walking in that direction and see the sakuras-"
"I am feeling a bit tired, Tsuzuki-san. Do you mind if we ended our evening?" Muraki buttoned his coat more securely around his throat, his face impassive.
"Tired? But...but I thought...I mean..," Tsuzuki faltered. He had been looking forward to a walk into town and it was still early and Muraki didn't seem tired at supper.
What just happened?
The two men stared, each trying to make out what the other was thinking. However, it was Tsuzuki who breached the silence, hating the akwardness that rose thick between them.
"Muraki, what is it? I thought...I thought you wanted to take a walk and...and it isn't really that late. But...if you're tired...I mean..." The guardian blushed and stammered.
Silver brows knitted.
What's this? I thought he didn't want to be with me...?
This has to be straightened out. I won't rest until this gets cleared up.
"Come with me, Tsuzuki-san," he gently but firmly grasped Tsuzuki's hand, half-expecting the guardian to protest. Getting no resistance, he steered the brunette to an alcove away from prying eyes and out of the cold wind. Once there, Muraki released and faced the bewildered man.
"Tsuzuki-san. I wanted to cut the evening short because I was under the impression you are uncomfortable with me and-"
"I'm not!" Tsuzuki gasped, totally shocked.
Where did Muraki get that idea?
"You're not?"
Now, the doctor was really perplexed!
"But...when I commented on your flushed appearance you rushed out of the restaurant. I assumed you were uncomfortable and it caused me to think that you didn't want to prolong long our evening any more than necessary."
"Muraki!"
The doctor looked so unhappy! Tsuzuki reacted without thinking twice about the implication and threw his arms around the silver blond, doing his best to comfort.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you think that! I don't feel that way at all! This is my fault!"
"Your fault?" Muraki pulled slightly away to make eye contact, keeping his hands around the smaller man's waist. "I don't understand."
Tsuzuki bit his lip. How did things get so out of control?
"When you...when you looked at me in the restaurant...I was...it was kind of...it made me feel..."
DAMMIT!
Tsuzuki felt even more foolish and inept. Why the hell couldn't he just say that he just out and out desired Muraki?
"Feel what, Tsuzuki-san?" Muraki pressed, his voice soft, coaxing. Still holding Tsuzuki in his arms, Muraki wasn't about to let the guardian run and hide. "What is it that has you feeling flushed?"
There was no hint of mockery or teasing in the doctor's husky voice. Just gentle persuasion and a need to know. Tsuzuki swallowed and dared himself to look into those intense diamonds and push forward.
"When you look at me...just like that...it makes me nervous but...excited...I never felt that...not with anyone," the brunette confessed, cheeks hot. Lowering his eyes, he shivered, knees weak.
"Tsuzuki-san..." Muraki pulled Tsuzuki into a warm embrace. "I had no idea. All this time I thought...I thought you merely tolerated my presence..."
"No," Tsuzuki groaned, his hands gripping the back of the tall man's coat to anchor, his face buried in the fur collar. "I LIKE you, Muraki! I do! I like spending time with you and talking with you and...and being with you! You're so kind and warm and I like the way you look at me and make me feel special!" Tsuzuki sobbed out the last word.
Muraki closed his eyes, happiness seeping into his soul.
"Tsuzuki-san, you ARE special to me," Muraki threaded his fingers into silk dark hair. "Very special. Don't you know that? Please believe me when I say, I care about you...and the fact that you...are fond of me..." He couldn't continue.
Tsuzuki enjoyed his company! That in itself was a miracle.
Tsuzuki sniffed, lifting his face up, violets bright.
"Muraki, what happened earlier...I'm...I'm just not used to expressing myself like that...I mean, I know I'm shy and clumsy. It shouldn't be a big deal...especially to someone MY age...but..."
"Tsuzuki-san! It is because you are shy in these matters that makes you so endearing!" Muraki protested. Seeing those violets round, he chuckled. "We will proceed at your pace. However, there are times when I would like to...take the initive. Show you what could be..."
The guardian's head began to spin. What did that mean exactly? He swallowed, violets lowered. Actually, he knew exactly what the doctor meant.
Before, way before, Tsuzuki would have been outraged, mortified, his sensibilities compromised. And now...well, Muraki's whole demeanor was different. HE was different.
"Like...how?" Tsuzuki dared to look up, his knees really quaking. It was a bold move on his part, but he was curious.
A slow smile spread over the silver blond's features. Sliding his arm around the guardian's waist, he lowered his head. "A kiss, Tsuzuki-san."
A kiss. Of course.
Tsuzuki wondered why he never made the first move in that direction. But now the opportunity presented itself and he wasn't about to let it go just because he was feeling bashful. Plus, he fantasized about those lips often enough.
"A-all right," he whispered.
Tilting his face up, the guardian stood poised and ready. They had kissed a few times before. Brief touches of lips, sweet and gentle.
Muraki smiled faded at the sudden seriousness of the situation.
He's letting me do this.
A dream becoming real.
Cupping the side of a smooth cheek, the silver blond lowered his head further and touched his mouth to Tsuzuki's, starting off a spark, a sizzle of electricity. Tsuzuki blinked, once, twice. Before he could ask what it was, Muraki closed in, pulling Tsuzuki closer, raking his long fingers into chestnut silk hair. Tilting Tsuzuki's head back an inch or two, Muraki turned his own head to the side and traced the lucious bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. Gentle strokes at first, outlining its plumpness which soon gave way to firmer sweeps from corner to corner.
"Tsuzuki-san," Muraki murmured between licks, the guardian's breath coming in soft breathy pants. His fingers massaged Tsuzuki's scalp while his tongue moved from bottom lip to top and back down again.
"Ohhhh..."
What was happening? This was wasn't like the other kisses! This was wholly different! And Muraki's tongue? The way it licked and...he wanted more. Tsuzuki wanted to know what else that tongue could do. Parting his mouth a bit, Tsuzuki ran his hands along the doctor's wide back, unconsciously pulling forward.
Muraki didn't need to be urged twice. With an arm firm around the slender waist, Muraki's other hand gave a gentle tug to the smaller man's hair, tilting it back for easier access. Sealing their mouths, the silver blond's tongue chased after the guardian's own pink muscle, capturing and entwining it with his own.
A whimper then low moan.
Incredible!
Muraki tasted of mint and peach and Tsuzuki was going out of his mind at the way that wicked tongue was now licking back along his lips, leaving the warm cavern of his mouth. But Tsuzuki couldn't let that happen. Didn't want that. He wanted more of Muraki's mouth. No way could he have fathomed that kissing could be so...deep and hypnotic. It was effecting other parts of his body. His heart drumming so hard, his limbs weak as water, and...his groin. So much heat generating from this kiss, his trousers becoming too tight, uncomfortable. Making him squirm.
His hands clutching the doctor's coat as if for dear life, cheeks flushed.
Muraki lifted his head a bit, partly for air but he noticed from Tsuzuki's body language that the guardian was becoming overheated. Kissing the guardian's forehead he closed his eyes, his own nerve endings hummed, sending sparks along his spine. Truth be told, he was getting overheated as well.
And Tsuzuki!
Tsuzuki is so responsive!
He never dreamed underneath that shy, bashful nature there may be a passionate creature waiting to emerge. Why in the world had he assumed the guardian had to be coaxed to great extent for a kiss or embrace? But then...they belonged to each other. Of this Muraki was sure.
How marvelous to discover that Tsuzuki's body molded against him so perfectly, that his lips danced in perfect harmony with his. Tentative, to be sure, but that was part of Tsuzuki's charm.
"Tsuzuki-san," Muraki's whisper ragged as both men gripped tight to each other. He tried again. "Tsuzuki-san...I often dreamed of this moment...you in my arms...like this..."
"Me too," the guardian whispered back.
Surprised by this small confession, Muraki gazed down. "Have you?" he asked, his voice sounding hopeful.
"Yeah," Tsuzuki replied. "I...I did...I do dream of...of times like this, Muraki." He felt the silver blond's arms tighten around him. Resting his head against the taller man's shoulder it occurred to Tsuzuki that this was the first time he felt...safe and protected. He relaxed fully into the warm embrace.
Muraki smiled and combed through the guardian's hair. How peaceful the doctor felt. How comforting and serene. And how right having this man in his arms felt. He just about to comment on that fact when...
*RRRIIINNNGGGG!*
Tsuzuki practically jumped out of his skin hearing that awful jangly intrusion. It took him a few moments to realize it was HIS phone that interrupted their quiet moment.
Damn it all to hell!
Muraki, meanwhile, had loosened his hold with great relectance and took a step back to allow Tsuzuki to fish the cellphone out of the pocket of his trench. Sighing, the doctor watched as the dark-haired man took the call.
"Y-yes? Oh, Watari! What's up? Huh? Well, yeah, I did. I gave my findings to Tatsumi before I left. What? Now?"
Muraki smiled ruefully. Well, so much for continuing their evening. It was just as well. He could plan their next date and look forward to more kisses.
"All right, Watari. Yeah, yeah, you're sorry. You owe me big! You know that, don't you? Okay. Right. See you in a bit," Tsuzuki sighed and snapped the small phone shut.
Of all the luck! And just when he felt closer to Muraki and it was such a nice moment. Damn.
"You must go, Tsuzuki-san?" Muraki asked, unable to resist brushing back a strand of hair from the guardian's eyes.
Tsuzuki swallowed at the gesture, growing warm inside.
"Yeah," he replied. "I'm sorry, Muraki."
Muraki shook his head. "I would be lying if I said I was all right about it. But duty calls, ne?"
Tsuzuki took a step forward. "Yeah, unfortunately."
Muraki smiled.
"Indeed."
This time it was Tsuzuki who tilted his head up and intitated a kiss which delighted and set the silver blond's heart fluttering. Parting, their lips a scant hairbreathed apart, amathysts and diamonds met.
"I will call you, Tsuzuki-san," Muraki whispered, his breath taken away from such a passionate kiss.
"You better," Tsuzuki teased, eyes laughing.
Chuckling, Muraki nodded, then for the second time, reluctantly loosened his hold so that the guardian may take his leave. Tsuzuki, in turn, relaxed his hold and stepped back.
"Good night, Muraki," Tsuzuki said, his smile wistful as his body began to disappear.
"Good night, Tsuzuki-san," Muraki replied. "Until tomorrow."
"Asato!"
Tsuzuki gasped. He had been so entrenched in his thoughts reminicing that he lost track of time! And now his lover was home and...did he sound angry?
Oh man.
Tsuzuki wiped his hands on a towel, heart thumping. He felt nervous and had a crazy thought that Muraki wasn't pleased that his study looked like some haphazard arboritum. What had seemed like a good idea an hour ago, now seemed childish and silly. How was he going to explain it?
The dark-haired guardian took a tentative step inside the room.
"Kazutaka? I'm sorry. I can explain. You see, I wanted-mmmph!"
Lips pressed hotly against his, his arms pinned to his sides. When his mouth was released, he blinked up into sparkling silver pools.
"K-kazutaka?"
Muraki smiled. "Is this a hint, beloved, that I don't kiss you often enough?" He glanced up at the mistletoe hanging above them.
Tsuzuki laughed, relaxing completely. Why did he ever think his lover would be angry? He should have known better.
"Just my way of letting you know that I can kiss you anywhere I please," Tsuzuki cheekily replied.
"Indeed," Muraki agreed. "Anywhere, anytime, beloved."
Taking Tsuzuki by the hand, the silver blond pulled his lover a little to the right and glanced upward. The brunette giggled at seeing another dangling plant above them and wrapped his slender arms around his lover's neck, blushing.
"Anywhere...anytime..."
OWAI
A/N: It's short, I know. But I couldn't resist a story about Muraki and Tsuzuki's first kiss. And rather than a long epic of such an event, I shortened it up quite a bit. Thanks for reading and a review would be lovely. Until next time! :)