Hermione Granger and The Temple of Doom

Indiana Jones AU

xXx

She really wished she had left him Shanghai. Gotten on the plane and left him on the tarmac. No matter how pretty he was to look at, none of the aesthetic appeal was worth all this fucking drama. Between the constant complaining and the prima donna behavior, Sirius Black was more trouble than he was worth. If leaving him behind hadn't involved leaving behind a cure for the poison she had been tricked into drinking, or to his probable death at the hands of his employers, she wouldn't have thought twice about it.

Now, having crash landed in the wilds of India, met up with some friendly locals and procured a ride to the palace and home of this areas' ruler, Dr. Hermione Granger was privy to a whole new level of bitching. Honestly, so what if it was a little hot or the bigs a little big. So what if the the elephant was a little friendly with him. She thought he would be flattered that she would be showing him any kind of attention at all. They were in the middle of the jungle and it was bound to be the only stroking his ego would get out in the middle of what less informed men called savage land.

"Are we there yet?" Sirius drawled pitifully from somewhere behind her. She rolled her eyes. She could only imagine his reaction to having to walk this distance on foot.

"Does it look like we're there yet?" she threw back over her shoulder. The harsh sigh was her only response before;

"Well how much longer?" he whined. Hermione turned to the guide, leading her elephant and called down to him, she knew enough of the language to converse but their dialect was unfamiliar making conversation a bit awkward.

From she gathered from the guide they wouldn't get there until the next afternoon since none of them were willing to traverse the jungle at night. On top of that the elephants needed watered, fed and rested and their guides were walking on their own power and Hermione was not willing to let them exhaust themselves for the sake of getting them to their destination. Informing Sirius of all of this was a feat that required resisted the urge to jump off her elephant and strangle him, but she managed. The pampered prima donna would just have to deal with it. She didn't want him here anymore than he wanted to be there.

She shared a look with her companion, Cho Chang, the daughter of her father's friend and companion when he worked in this part of the world and now she was Hermione's, both having grown up on stories of the other's father when they returned to their respective homes after their adventures.

"You know 'Mione, we could leave him at camp in the morning." Cho teased. "He's pretty enough to buy his way out of the jungle if he manages to run into someone."

Hermione laughed. "That's so tempting."

"I can hear you, ya know!"

They laughed.

xXx

"This. is. Ridiculous." Sirius complained, violently shaking out his clothes. Hermione watched bordering on amused and the usual annoyance. They'd stopped to make camp a few hours before and Sirius, like most things he'd encountered on this impromptu trip, climbing down from his elephant had proven difficult, resulting in him falling into the small body of water beside camp. Since then he'd been forced to strip, his only wearable clothing a large parka like blanket which he'd wrapped around his waist while he tried to force his clothing to dry with frequent bouts of rage and violent outbursts, as if he could threaten his clothes into drying.

"Their not going to dry any faster with you doing that. If anything you're just going to wear yourself out." Hermione told him as he tossed his pants over a low hanging branch and sat heavily on the ground across from her on the other side of the fire.

"I hate this place." he grumbled trying to keep himself covered with the towel. Hermione sighed.

"So you've said."

"I can't wait until we get where we're going and can get out of the god forsaken place. I'm going to get a bath and a whole bottle of champagne and I'm not going to leave my room at the four seasons for a week." He told her. At some point his pachyderm admirer had come up behind him, her trunk reaching out to play with his hair. He threw it off of him annoyed.

"She likes you." Hermione told him as he pushed the trunk away for the second time.

"Oh yeah, well I'm not interested." he replied shifting around, trying to get comfortable. "This place is a nightmare."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "This "place" as you call it, is rich in history, culture. Not to mention all the things we could learn here."

"Yeah, whatever, that's all well and good for you, and probably my goody two shoes brother, but I could honestly care less." Sirius replied oblivious to the terror that had suddenly claimed Hermione. He could feel the trunk again, and reached for it, so annoyed that he missed the tell tale hissing that made it quite clear it wasn't the elephant's trunk. Sirius took a hold of the python, tossing it away. "Enough already!" he exclaimed. When he finally turned back to Hermione he found her staring wide eyed at him. "What?"

"Snnn….snnn…" she whimpered a bit before shaking herself out of it and standing abruptly, walking off.

xXx

Sirius hated everything about this situation. From the minute he sat down at that table in Lao Che's club after his set, to the moment he'd been introduced to Dr. Hermione Granger his plush, lifestyle had been put in jeopardy forcing him out of his element and into one uncomfortable situation after the next.

And it was all her fault. The pretty little scientist who he'd made the mistake of finding attractive upon first sight. A sure sign his judgement have been impaired at the time. She was stunning, intelligent and charming but then it all went south. There was talk of poison, and guns were pulled and the next thing he knew he was picking up a vile of liquid and being pulled through the club by that woman. He was forced to jump through a window four stories up and was chased through the streets in a car all the way to the airport where they boarded a plane that crashed in the middle of nowhere.

If that wasn't bad enough, now they were on some weird quest because Doctor Hermione Granger had too much of a conscience to let the locals artifacts and children be kept from them by greedy rulers. At this point the only reason he hadn't complained about at least that much was because the English had a trade route in this area and he was likely to find a way back to London from the palace.

They'd finally made it to the palace sometime after noon and, to his relief they'd been welcomed like friends and pampered like royalty. Unfortunately it didn't last, at least not to his standards. Now he was in his room, starving, because he was not, repeat not, going to be caught dead eating Monkey's brains...ever.

Sirius flopped dramatically onto the plush bed, sprawling out and trying to forget about the gnawing hunger in his stomach. Pretty soon a knock at the door distracted him and he got up to answer it, pulling the door open to find Hermione on the other side.

"What?" he asked not in the slightest bit happy to see her. Little miss archaeologist may have been okay eating the native cuisine but he had standards. She smirked up at him and he watched eyes wide, mouth watering as she raised an apple to her lips and took a bite. It was then he finally noticed the assortment of fruit in her arms.

"Hungry?" she teased, holding the apple out for him. He took it without hesitation taking a big bite on the opposite side and turning back into his room. Hermione watched him, following him in as he crawled onto the bed and luxuriated in the taste of the green apple. "Better?" she asked setting the other pieces of fruit on the bed side table.

"Mmm." he hummed, his mouth full. She smiled at him, chuckling as he laid back, eyes closed as he savored every bite.

"I know the last few days have been difficult, but I'm sure we won't be here for much longer." she told him, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"I certainly hope not." he replied sitting up. "I mean this place is beautiful but let's be honest, I can't live on fruit forever."

She rolled her eyes good naturedly.

Sirius watched her finally noticing the same beautiful woman he'd met days ago in Shanghai. Not that she wasn't beautiful all the time but it was hard to find someone attractive when they were eating mushed bugs and other things he wouldn't even consider eating.

She was wrapped in white and gold silk now, her long brown hair pulled back letting him see her lovely freckled face. He was drawn to her again, the same as he had been days before- god had it really only been days-and when she turned those whiskey brown eyes on him, eyes so full of emotion of mutual feelings, he lost himself for a moment, inching closer. Hermione seemed to be thinking the same thing, helping him close the distance. They shared a short but intimate kiss and neither one was sure who pulled away first.

"I can't blame you for being sore with me." Sirius finally spoke up softly. "I can be hard to handle."

"It's alright, I understand your out of your element here. Besides I've dealt with worse." Hermione replied. Sirius smirk.

"Perhaps, But you'll never have better."

"Is that so?" he nodded. Hermione shrugged. "I don't know about that." she replied. "As a scientist I don't want to narrow my findings too much. How about I tell you in the morning?"

And just like the humor was gone from him eyes. "A little conceited aren't you?" he said. "I'll have you know I'm not that easy."

Hermione scoffed standing abruptly. "I'll have you know I'm not that easy either." she replied.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!" Hermione turned on her heels storming toward the door, aware that Sirius was following her and not the least bit interested. "You know what your problem is Sirius?" Hermione spoke up stopping short and whipping around. Sirius came to a halt narrowly missing running into her.

"Oh please, do tell me Miss Scientist."

"You're too used to getting your own way."

"HA!" he exclaimed gesturing wildly, apple still in hand. "You're one to talk." he continued as she stormed out and across the hall toward her own room. "Well your problem is that you don't want to admit that you're crazy about me Dr. Granger."

Hermione rolled her eyes stopping short of opening the door. "Yeah, sure, whatever you say."

"Five minutes." he told her. "You'll be back over here in five minutes."

"I'll be asleep in five minutes."

Sirius smirked. "Five, you know it, and I know it." and with that he closed the his door, the smirk on his face the last thing she saw before he disappeared completely from sight.

Hermione returned to her room where like Sirius in his own she was pacing the floor and muttering to herself over how annoying he was until it finally became apparent that neither of them was going to give in and Hermione gave up waiting.

The thought had just crossed her mind when the garot closed over her throat and she just barely had enough time to throw her hand between it and her neck. Struggling against her attacker and trying to make as much noise as possible to wake her ridiculously heavily sleeping roommate.

It took a considerable amount of effort but with Cho finally waking up and sneaking up on her attacker she was freed.

xXx

"I was almost a human sacrifice!" Sirius exclaimed after the dust had settled and they escaped through the train tunnels and scaled the collapsed rope bridge and began the journey back to the village to return their sacred artifacts and their children.

"You should consider it a compliment." Cho called back, her elephant leading the caravan. "Only the prettiest people get sacrificed."

Hermione laughed as she heard Sirius grumbled behind her.