Jax's POV:
There is something wrong with my mom, I just know it. She has been trying to act all strong ever since the rape, but I don't buy it. You don't get over that kinda shit easily. It eats away at you. I look over into the office and see her, her head buried in paperwork. It's her go to action; she throws herself into her work to try and distract herself from whatever shit has been going on.
"Mom..."
She gets up from her desk and waves at me.
Holy shit does she look bad. Her face is so pale and sunken. Her skin is stretched over her cheekbones so tight it looks like the cheekbone is going to push through.
"Mom you look like hell. You look awful".
She grins, her default. " Nice to see you too Jaxson, not looking so great yourself!" She strokes my hair and smiles.
"Are you alright mom? You eating good?"
"Yes, you know, my ever so healthy diet of coffee and smokes. My boy, you worry so much, just like your father". She rifles through the draw looking for more papework to tackle. She is trying to get rid of me. Whenever she turns her back and looks for paperwork, its her subtle way of telling me she wants me gone.
"You need to eat some proper food mom, and get some rest. None of this paperwork matters, just leave it".
"Darling I am fine, go and do your club duties. I will rest, I promise". I hear Clay yelling for me from the clubhouse, damn he sure loves to keep me under his control.
"Okay mom, we will talk about this later". She waves me away with her bony fingers and grins. God she is so annoyingly stubborn. I will get Unser to talk to her, he always gets through to her.
A few hours later...
I see Unser pull into the lot, and I immediately head over to him.
"Unser, can I talk to you for a minute?". He stumbles behind me into the office.
"Yeah son? What do you need?".
"Have you seen my mom lately?" He stares blankly at me and then on cue my mom walks into the office.
"Oh sorry, just getting some paperwork." She roots around in the desk and quickly grabs some papers. She kisses me on the head and then Wayne, before going off to the clubhouse to do more work. I see Wayne look over at me.
" She looks kinda exhausted son. What has she been doing?".
" Paperwork, housework just anything that requires her attention really. She looks ill Wayne, I know when something is wrong with her; and my instincts are telling me that there is something wrong." He looks out of the window.
" Well she has been through a lot of shit Jax, maybe her being distracted ain't a bad thing?".
"I get that. But she looks bad. She is so pale, and so thin".
"Do you want me to talk to her for you?"
"Please Wayne. She trusts you more than anybody".
Gemma:
Shiiitttt. Jax knows something, that boy is so smart; nothing like his mom.
I can't eat, it is as simple as that. The thought of eating makes me feel physically sick.
I hate what this shit has done to me.
I hate who I am, I hate how I look; I just hate myself.
Clay has no love for me anymore. No one wants a used ol' lady. His wife was violated, touched. I ain't his anymore. I'm nobody. I used to be his everything, he worshipped me. Now he wants nothing to do with me. I will be brushed aside like I never existed.