How Twilight Should Have Been
A/N Was talking on aim with a friend from school and our convo came to this idea
In a forest far away the emo fairies (and Barbie and Pixie) lived. The other fairies got mad that they had to live with these fairies so they banished them to Forks where there prettiness couldn't shine. The emo fairies, Barbie and pixie where convinced they were vampires but they sadly where just poseurs. They loved drinking blood but they were too softies to drink human blood so they settled on animal blood (man even humans will drink other humans blood prudes) we all know real vampires drink human blood and wear capes. So they came and started in Forks.
When Edward got there he decided to skip through a random beach. There he laid eyes on a boy that was about 15. Edward was 107 so that would be considered rape. Though Edward could lure him cause he looked 17.
"Hey." Edward said trying to play it cool.
"Hi." Jacob said.
"So what's your name."
"I'm Jacob. What's yours?"
"Edward."
"So Jacob where am I?"
"Oh your in La Push. It's great. I can show you around if you want."
He nodded.
"This is our tribe. Over there is Sam's house, Seth's house, Quil's house, Embry's house and my house is right here. Wanna go in?"
Edward nodded and they walked inside.
"Let me show you around. Here's the kitchen, the TV set, bathroom, my dad Billy's room and my room."
He sat down on his bed and I smiled.
"So Edward how old are you?"
"17 what about you."
"15 but 2 years isn't that bad. Come sit next to me."
Then Jacob kissed me like I hoped. I felt sparks.
After half an hour we stopped. Then we started talking randomly. I told him about my secret.
"I'm a vampire."
"You're a vampire? Then why aren't you sucking my blood?"
"Cause vampires… err… don't really drink humans blood. That's a myth and they sparkle in the sun."
"Sounds more like a fairy too me but ok."
"Jacob! Time to go see Bella Swan."
"Ugh great boring girl again." Muttered Jacob.
"Well it was nice seeing you hopefully we could do this again."
Edward nodded, "Yea I hope so too."
Edward left quickly and Jacob went to go see boring Bella.
At school
Edward's POV
Jacob. Jacob was awesome. He was great. I love him. Hopefully he doesn't realize I lied.
I was sitting in Bioligy doodling Edward + Jacob in my notebook when a scent hit my nose. It smelled terrible and I covered my nose. I looked up to see a plain girl standing there.
Maybe she's that new girl everyone goes on about. She's not even hot. Oh well. I continued with my doodles.
I saw her approach and I closed my notebook . She stared at me and her scent hit me again. Man did she own shampoo?
Once she sat down, she put her hands on my leg and I shook them away. She left it there and I scooted as far as I could over. She followed but our teacher gave her glares. I read what he was thinking.
Teens and there hormones. No wonder they have a show called Sixteen and Pregnant that airs right after Sweet 16. That was some after party.
I tried to ignore her constant touching and such and thought about Jacob. Then class ended. I dashed as fast as I could and went to the office. I can't survive the rest of the year with her touching me.
I tried my charm on the desk lady. She didn't budge. I was despartate and then Bella came in. Her odor hit me straight in the nose. I thanked the lady and left quickly. I tried not to gag on my way out but it slipped. Thankfully you couldn't hear it.
I figured it would be safe to skip school and spend time with Jacob. I went every day to see him. I told him about Bella and he said she was the same girl he had to go see. He warned me about her and her tricks. She tried to pass as an innocent tom boy. She was actually a dumb slut. She wore skimpy clothes and let random guys feel up on her. She tried with Jacob but it never worked.
One day we went to the beach and kissed then we were caught. My family was called and a treaty was made. If we stopped being together it would be fine. Jacob and I made a plan. It involved the slutty Swan girl. We'd pretend to be into her and then she'd of course fall for it.
I smiled and walked into biology. She was there and I grimanced then plastered the fake smile on my face.
I sat and said, "Hello. I'm sorry I didn't get to introduce myself I'm Edward Cullen. Your Bella."
She fell for it and of course we continued to talk.
We had to do a lab on onions and stuff. I already knew how to do this so we took turns doing the sheet. We won and then class was over. I talked to her some more and then went to my next class. Wow I thought that would never end.
*Parking lot*
After school I dashed to my car and tried to go. Alice laughed and whispered, "Bella's gunna get ran over in 3..2…1"
Right on cue a van came in swirling out of control. It ran over Bella and she was flattened. All the boys gasped and the boy in the van came out.
"Omigosh I hit Bella!" He went to the back of his car and screamed, "IS MY XBOX OK?"
Soon the cops and ambulance came. Bella of course was gone. Her dad shook her head and then turned to the driver.
"Good job son. That girl was trouble."
"My Xbox!" cried Tyler into Mike's shoulder.
"It's ok Tyler we'll get through this."
"I was just going… t..t.. too pass COD! I was on a role!"
I texted Jacob
Slutty Swan got ran over by van. Now what?
A few seconds later he texted back and said
Mmm.. .we through a party!
I screamed, "PARTY AT MY PLACE!"
Everyone was siked and of course the party was awesome. Then that night Jacob and I broke the treaty and got married. We had 3 children 1 half vampire (fairy) 1 half wolf and 1 half ogre. How exactly? Jacob then found out I was lying about being a vampire and that I was a poseur so he filed a divorce and then I skipped to the Volturi and told them to kill me even though I wasn't a vampire. They easily snapped my neck.
I woke up and saw my hands where green. I got up looked in the mirror and saw I was an ogre. Oh that explains the half ogre child. How did we have those kids anyways? I must have gotten a second life. I went outside and layed down. An ant started crawling all over me and said, "Hey Edward. It's me Bella. Isn't this second life awesome?" Even as an ant she was annoying. I brushed her off and proceeded to squish her. Once smushed Alice and Jasper came and Alice screamed, "Off with his head!" Jasper nodded and off my head went once again.
Random I know. But what ever.