*Disclaimer * I don't own Glee, but I wish I did. I also don't own Shania Twain or the band Swimming with Dolphins, that would be a bit odd.
This is a song-fic set to Shania Twain's Man I Feel Like a Woman with a song cameo of Captured by Swimming with Dolphins. Slight spoilers for season 6 of Showtime's Dexter. Special thanks to my friend dionah for walking me though the writing process and contributing more to this story than I could ever express.
Miserable! Simply miserable!
Kurt Hummel had dealt with a lot of bad stuff in his life… hell, he was a gay teen living in Lima, Ohio. But this? This was pure torture!
Kurt had been sitting in the back seat of his own car while Finn and Rachel carried on with their mindless banter on the long drive to New York City. Kurt sighed and looked to the empty seat beside him, he frowned a bit and grabbed his phone.
"Oh my god what are you doing?" Rachel interjected in a fit of laughter.
There Finn was, as strange as ever doing the Macarena while driving, hands switching between dancing and steering at an erratic pace. Kurt opened his mouth to yell at Finn for goofing off while driving his car but he couldn't. Finn was just a little too adorable sometimes. Kurt directed his attention to his phone again and typed.
"Wish you were here. Love you"
"No, no, no… I can't have him feeling guilty! It's not his fault that his SAT testing is this weekend."
Kurt quickly deleted the text and simply re-typed, "Good luck with your testing! New York 2013! Having a great time with Finn and Rachel, love Kurt."
Kurt put his phone away and his eyes wandered back to the front seat. Finn and Rachel were singing a song Kurt hadn't heard before, though the music was amazingly familiar. They alternated singing with Finn starting off.
Like all the times of rain that would never pass.
Like all the endless summers that came and went so fast.
One moment in your presence is far greater than all the past.
You got me down on my knees,
My heart is yours and I am captured.
So wrap your love around me,
I wanna stay inside this rapture.
If I can feel it in my hands
Then it will turn to sand.
Take what I pursue,
Just let it all fall through.
As long as I've got you!
As long as I've got you!
"Do they even realize how dirty that song is?" Kurt thought while trying to keep his face from forming an obvious grimace at the mental images playing in his mind.
Kurt had never… no, could never see Rachel in that sort of situation. But with his thoughts focusing on Finn the situation became alarmingly more arousing.
Finn would be very in change, but very gentle. A guiding hand perhaps? Never forceful but always present.
"Kurt, you can… if you wanna…"
Finn was standing in his room, his face only allowing a nervous grin to come about. He slowly peeled off his shirt, exposing his toned skin to a rush of cool air. His body firmed up, and Kurt could only look at him in awe. Finally leaning in he put a hand on Finn's chest, the ecstasy within him escaping in a tense smile.
A change of song quickly brought his mind back to reality.
"You can not look at your brother that way!"
"Brother for how long? A year? It's not like you grew up together." His id whispered into his ear.
"It's not like I'm Deb!" Kurt shouted accidentally.
Whatever mindless music was playing in the background cut off quickly.
"What was that bro?" Finn turned around to ask with his normal sheepish grin. His expression quickly changes. His grin fades but he doesn't feel cold.
Eye contact.
"His eyes are so dark and deep, you could get lost in those things."
Finn didn't break contact.
"Does he feel something too?"
Kurt slightly panicked, and it had nothing to do with the car slowly veering into oncoming traffic.
"Eyes! Road!" Rachel snapped.
Finn blinked and the connection is lost. He quickly turned around and jerked the wheel a little too hard, the car vibrated as its wheels skimmed over the side of the road. Finn regained control as Rachel leaned back.
"What was that Kurt?" Rachel said presenting a pod people-like grin.
"God! Why does she have to always talk so peppy?"
Kurt gritted his teeth but quickly stopped. He responded a bit quicker than he would have liked.
"Oh, just wondering what they're going to do with Deb on Dexter?"
"Yeah, I know man," Finn said. "How often do you find out your brother is a freak, you know?"
Finn grinned and winked at Kurt through the rear-view mirror.
"Freak"
Finn didn't mean any harm, Kurt knew this much for sure. It still caused a twinge of pain near his heart to hear that word.
They had put their sophomore year drama behind them ages ago and Finn was even hanging out with Blaine, but Finn had the habit of not thinking about what his words could mean. Kurt took it badly; his present thoughts weren't helping.
"Wait, why did he wink?"
"Don't let your thoughts go there, you know you read too much into things!"
"Like with Blaine on Valentines Day!"
"But we did get together…"
"But you have Blaine!"
Shirtless Finn. Shirtless Finn in my room. Shirtless Finn with his dopey smile in my room. Kneeling. Wet.
"So, you guys can turn the music back on!" Kurt said a bit louder than he meant to.
He intently directed his focus to Rachel as she fumbled with the knobs on the car stereo. He was not only fantasizing about his brother but also talking to himself, this would not do!
"Oh! This is a good one," she said.
"Seriously? Country Music?"
Finn was singing "Man I Feel Like a Woman". That should get Kurt's mind out of the gutter rather quickly.
I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin' alright
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout
Crap! It's not!
"Finn really does have a good voice when he loosens up. And he has amazingly nice teeth for someone without a beauty routine."
Kurt couldn't even remember the last time he saw Finn floss.
No inhibitions-make no conditions
Get a little outta line
I ain't gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time
Kurt scooted over to the middle of the car, looking in the rearview mirror.
"Finn really is adorable when he sings, the way he smiles. He doesn't make any baby penguin faces."
Kurt suppressed a laugh at his internal monologue and focused on Finn singing again.
Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction
Color my hair-do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel, way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!
"To hell with being correct, maybe this trip won't be so bad," Kurt thought to himself as his mind drifted to places he would never voice.
Author's Notes- If you liked it, hated it, or something in between I'd love to hear from you! Reviews are always welcome!