Totally absorbed in reviewing some files, Will didn't notice that almost everyone had left the firm. A slight knock at his door made him look up. Alicia was standing there, smiling, coat and purse in her hands.
"For someone who's supposedly being suspended, you are working very late," she said, making obvious fun at how he seemed to work more now than when he actually ran the firm.
With a warm smile, he decided to play along. "You think I'm the last one to leave and the first to arrive in the morning. Truth is," he went on, lowering his voice in a confidence tone, "I sleep here."
Alicia burst into laughter. "Sounds like a good plan," she said, giving him an approving look.
Her laugh. He couldn't remember the last time he heard that beautiful, heart-warming laugh. He missed it so much. He missed her so much. All his attempts to move on were just that. Attempts. He could date, settle and pretend as much as he wanted. But if there was one thing he learnt, it was that he couldn't move on.
He noticed that Alicia was staring at him with a curious and questioning look.
"What are you thinking?" Her tone was soft, almost sweet.
He took another moment to stare at her before clambering out of that conversation with a simple "Nothing." He needed a change of subject. "Are you leaving?" he asked. What a stupid question. She has coat and purse, of course she is.
Alicia just nodded.
For a moment he considered finishing all those papers. Eventually, he decided that work could wait till the morning after. "I think I'll come, too."
"I thought you were sleeping here," she joked.
With a smile, he grabbed his coat and followed Alicia out of his office and along the corridor to the elevator.
He watched the elevator doors closing in front of him and suddenly felt a mixed sense of awkwardness and anxiety. He wanted to say something, but didn't know what to say. Last time they rode down on the elevator together, two weeks before, he dared asking that question. Knowing he was riding down two floors only, thus giving him a quick escape, made it easier. But this time, it was a 28 floors ride. It was either the complete silence or a harmless discussion. He thanked the elevator engine for being pretty quick.
His thoughts were interrupted by a terrifying squeak and a sudden violent jolt. Will instinctively grabbed the handrail, while Alicia grasped hold of his arm, looking terrified.
One last shake, and the elevator stopped. Floor 13. What irony. And he always said he wasn't superstitious. He instinctively looked at Alicia to make sure she was fine. "Are you ok?" he said, slightly brushing her cheek.
She looked slightly shaken but seemed fine. "Yes, I'm ok," she reassured him with a faint smile.
Damn. In a desperate attempt to get it going again, he started to press unrelentingly the basement floor button, with no result.
"I don't think that's going to work, Will." Alicia was just stating something he already knew. Giving up hope, he pressed the alarm button, waiting for the security system to send the distress call.
Yielding before the facts that it probably would take long, they both leaned defeated against the elevator walls.
And he though that 28 floors were hard to go through… If they were lucky, they'd probably be stuck there for an hour or so.
"How long will they take? The rescue?" Alicia seemed to be reading his mind.
"Long," he replied with a heavy sight.
As much as he really appreciated the company, one hour of that awkwardness was too much to bear.
"I guess we should find a way to kill time," she said looking at Will.
Kill hour was a long time to kill. 'We should find a way to kill time.' Wasn't she thinking about… well… He looked back at her with a smile and a questioning look. The disapproval look she gave him in return made him regret the mere thought.
"No, Will." Her voice was firm, but her tone gave away a mix of shock, amusement and pretended outrage. "I wasn't thinking about that kind of way," she said, coming down on him with a hint of fun in her voice.
"I wasn't thinking about that," he pretended to be offended by her accusations, failing miserably as he couldn't hide a smile.
"Yes, you were, Will," she said, not letting him get away with it.
He looked up at the security camera, placed right at the top corner of the elevator, then gestured to Alicia to do the same.
"It wouldn't be a good idea, anyway," he concluded, already picturing the hot tape in the hands of the media.
"You once didn't worry so much about the cameras," she provoked him.
He thought back at their hot elevator ride to the Presidential Suite with a smile. It happened almost one year before. He would give everything to have her back. He was ready to give up his own career for her, only few months before. Before she got in his office and, with a sad and guilty look, she told him she couldn't do it anymore. Every time he found himself thinking about her, about them, he couldn't help but feel bittersweet. They were good together. They really were. And he couldn't make up his mind about why they just couldn't find a way to make it work.
"We were good together, weren't we?" he asked tentatively, a slight smile on his face.
He slowly turned to look at Alicia. She was looking down, lost in though, looking between sad and melancholic. Was she thinking the same?
Looking up at him, she gave him a soft smile and a longing gaze before answering. "Yeah, we were."
He nodded with a smile. His mind kept on going back to their first night. They had mutually agreed on going with no strings attached, no involvement, just enjoying each other's company and have some good time together. He thought it was easy. That having her like that was better than not having her at all.
But it turned out way more complicated. He waited so long to have his chance with her, that sex – although fantastic - and a non-binding relationship, were well away to be enough for him.
"Do you ever miss it, Alicia?" He felt his voice becoming melancholic and hoped she didn't notice.
When he asked her a couple of weeks before if she thought it was a mistake, she said it wasn't. He caught a look in her eyes that lead him to think she felt the same way. He needed to know that he wasn't crazy, that his mind and his sight weren't playing tricks on him.
She didn't look at him this time. Her gaze was fixed on the floor. "Yes," she admitted. And he wasn't sure if this was making him feel better or even worse.
"What do you miss?" A part of him wanted to hear that she just missed the sex. It would be much easier, knowing there were no feelings involved at least from her side. It would make more acceptable the fact that it could never work, that it just wasn't meant to be. But deep down inside, he needed a reason, even tiny, to hold on to.
Alicia looked at him, probably surprised by his question.
The last thing they both probably expected from that ride, was to end up baring their hearts, disclosing the feelings that, until then, they put so much effort into keeping buried.
She gave him a sly smile but looked down right away. "I guess… it was the way you made me feel… special… worshipped… loved… like there wasn't any other woman in the world."
He had always loved her, worshipped her. He had waited patiently for his moment to make her feel special, make her know that she was special.
"There isn't any other woman in my world, Alicia. There never was." And he was honest, blunt, like he never had before. Not with her, at least.
She had always been the only woman he ever wanted, but did he ever tell her? Was a slipped 'I love you' enough? He thought back at Alicia's words about those words being so overused and meaningless. He was only now realizing what she meant. She was right. As much as all he ever wanted was to hear her say those words, to tell her those words, not just have them slipped accidentally, what she missed of him, what he missed of her too, was that special and unique feeling they felt when they were together.
Those butterflies flying in the stomach for the anticipation of their moments together. Those shivers running down the spine at the touch of their hands caressing each other's bodies, at the loving words whispered in the ears during their passionate love makings. He missed those precious, intimate moments more than anything else. Love had never been like that with the other women. Love wasn't love at all with the other women. It was lust, fun, but not love. That made every little moment with Alicia so special, so unique, so worth every risk or complication.
He looked up to meet her gaze. There was something in her eyes, he couldn't tell what. They looked warm, filled with something between longing, love and regret.
"You never told me." She looked surprised, as if realizing for the first time the depth of his feelings.
He looked away, unable to keep her gaze anymore. "Guess I never got the right occasion."
Truth was, he never found the courage to tell her before, unsure of the depth of her feelings for him, not wanting to push her in a sort of more intimate, deep relationship she was probably not ready for.
"Will?" Her voice was soft, barely a whisper, but giving away some anxiety. Or excitement. He couldn't tell for sure.
"What?" He realized his own voice was slightly trembling.
She didn't say anything, just turned to face him. Those eyes. He could lose himself in those beautiful eyes. He held his breath, felt his heart thud as she got close, only inches away from him. She was so close, he could feel her become breathless as she closed the last inches between them to place a soft, yet passionate kiss on his lips.
The camera totally forgotten, or better ignored, he pulled her close, circling her waist, savoring those so long missed lips, gently caressing her soft skin through the thin fabric of her dress.
He had no idea how long would the rescue still take to intervene, but he hoped it would be long.
Breaking the kiss to look in her eyes, he saw her smiling softy. This time there was no doubt, or anxiety in her eyes. Just excitement, love, anticipation and passion.
"What's with us and the elevators?" he asked between kisses, in a teasing way.
Alicia looked at him amused. "Next time we should seriously consider taking the stairs," she said as they both laughed and savored their moment.