Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or the song View From Heaven, by Yellow Card.
View From Heaven
I'm just so tired
wont you sing me to sleep
and fly through my dreams
so I can hitch a ride with you tonight
and get away from this place
have a new name and face
I just ain't the same without you in my life
late night drives, all alone in my car
I can't help but start
singing lines from all our favourite songs
and melodies in the air
singing life just ain't fair
Jenny sat alone on the beach, staring out at the harsh rolling waves. She wiped a tear away from her eyes with a tissue she had in her purse, left over from the ceremony. Peyton came up behind her and sat next to her.
"Hey," she said, sliding in next to her daughter.
"Hey mom," Jenny said, resting her head on Peyton's shoulder.
"How are you holding up?"
"I've been better," Jenny said with a sniffle. Peyton nodded sadly.
"Me too, Kiddo."
"It was too soon. I wasn't ready," Jenny said softly, her voice cracking with tears in her throat. Peyton swallowed back her own tears.
"Neither was I."
Sometimes I still just can't believe you're gone
and I'm sure the view from heaven
beats the hell out of mine here
and if we all believe in heaven,
maybe we'll make it through one more year
down here
"Mom?" Jenny asked. The two had begun walking down the long stretch of beach, against the Oceanside winds.
"Hmm?" Peyton asked, coming out of a silent reverie.
"When you think of Dad, is heaven anywhere in the picture?" She asked. Peyton's brow furrowed.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, when you picture dad now, is he in Heaven? An angel?" Peyton sighed heavily.
"Yeah. I mean, I picture him happy, with my mom, lots of fluffy white clouds, if you know what I mean," Peyton said. Jenny nodded.
"I'd like to think he's looking down on us, right now, just watching patiently waiting for us to join him," Jenny said wistfully. Peyton wiped her eyes once more and nodded.
"I like that thought too."
"Hey, what was going on with him before the accident? I mean, was he happy, or sad, or stressed? How was he?" Jenny asked, praying he died a happy man.
"He had just finished singing me a song he wrote, about his love, and everything we've accomplished over the years. Yeah, sweetie, he was happy. After he finished he all of the sudden realized that we were out of coffee, and decided to go to the store to get some," Peyton said, recalling the night. "I wanted to go with him, but he told me to take a break. He started a nice warm fire for me and set up a little bed for me on the couch to relax." A tear escaped her eyes. "I wish he'd taken me with him." Jenny wrapped her arm around her mother's shoulder.
"I'm glad he didn't," she said softly.
Feel your fire,
when it's cold in my heart
and things sort of start
reminding' me of my last night with you
I only need one more day
just one more chance to say
I wish that I had gone up with you too
and I'm sure the view from heaven
beats the hell out of mine here
and if we all believe in heaven
maybe we'll make it through one more year
down here
That night Jenny sat at home, in the warm embrace of her husband.
"You okay, Baby?" he asked. She shrugged.
"Would you be okay if your dad died?" she asked softly. He sighed and shook his head.
"No, I guess not."
"Hey, sorry if I've been hard to get along with these last few days."
"It's not your fault. Besides, you've been amazing," he said, kissing her cheek softly. She sunk into his embrace.
"I haven't really slept at all since that night," she said. "I feel like I need him just so I can get a few hours of rest." Ben nodded.
"I understand," he said.
"It's not just that I need him alive though. I mean, I need him to be here with me, to sing me to sleep like he used to."
"Yeah," he said, tears filling his eyes at the memory of Jake when he was a little boy. He used to sleep over at Jenny's house. Jake would come into the room and strum a few notes on his guitar, singing with a sweet, clear voice. Peyton would stand in the doorway with her eyes closed, just taking in the beautiful sound.
~Flashback~
"Okay guys, time for bed," Jake said. He picked up Ben, carrying the giggling little boy into Jenny's room upside down, while Peyton carried Jenny in, hugging her tightly.
"But we aren't tired," Jenny complained, completing her sentence with a yawn. Jake laughed.
"Well, if you don't go to bed now, there's no guarantee you'll be allowed to go to bed at all tonight!" Jake exclaimed, tucking his little girl into her pink sheet, while Peyton zipped Ben into his sleeping bag.
"But what if we get tired later?" Ben asked. Jake shrugged.
"That's just a chance you'll have to take. If you insist on staying awake now, that is," he said, enjoying the comical reactions of the children.
"I guess we should sleep now, Ben," Jenny said in a very serious tone.
"Is that the consensus?" Peyton asked. Jenny and Ben both nodded exaggeratedly.
"Well, then, let's get you guys tucked in," Peyton said, kissing them both goodnight. She and Jake started to leave the room, but Jenny stopped them.
"Aren't you going to sing us something, Daddy?" she asked. Jake acted as though he'd completely forgotten.
"Of course! Mommy, can you get me my guitar please?" he asked. Peyton stepped out of the room and returned with the golden yellow instrument, handing it to him. "Thank you," he said sweetly.
"You're very welcome, Daddy," she said with a smile. She hung back in the doorway while Jake sat on the side of Jenny's bed.
"Well, what should I sing?" He got several requests from the little children, laughing a little before deciding on Say Yes by Elliot Smith, one of Jenny's favourites, since she was a baby.
Peyton looked on proudly, taking in his sweet voice as he hit each note with sweet perfection.
~End Flashback~
"What are you thinking?" Jenny asked. Ben shrugged.
"Just memories. How about you?" he asked. She sighed deeply and sunk into her pillows.
"Just wishing I could have said goodbye."
you won't be coming back
and I didn't get to say goodbye
I really wish I got to say goodbye
and I'm sure the view from heaven
beats the hell out of mine here
and if we all believe in heaven
maybe we'll make it through one more year
I hope that all is well in heaven
cause it's all shot to hell down here
I hope that I find you in heaven
cause I'm so...
lost without you down here
you won't be coming back
and I didn't get to say goodbye
I really wish I got to say goodbye
A/N- a very old fic, but one of the special ones. I hope you liked it. Let me know.