"I can't do this anymore Jeff!" CM Punk cried as he walked through his and Jeff's apartment in Chicago, going into the bedroom and grabbing a duffle bag. Tears streamed down his face as he shoved clothes haphazardly into the bag. "I can't keep picking you up off the floor blackout drunk or too high to stand on your own!"
Jeff just stood in the doorway, watching as Punk packed his things. He knew this would come from the moment they had gone on their very first date together. It just couldn't be helped. Even before then Jeff knew it would never work between them, even if they loved each other. But Jeff ignored his own warnings for Punk. Something about Punk's beauty and easily likeable presence had drawn him in, though he knew he didn't have a shot with the man. One straight edge and one an addict. But Punk had given him a chance. Then Jeff just kept asking for more chances each time he had fucked up, taking advantage of Punk's love for him. That was one of Punk's biggest weaknesses, his big heart was going to get him into trouble one day, and that day was when he smiled at Jeff and said he would love to see a movie together. Jeff had used and abused his privilege of having Punk in his life and this was it, he couldn't use the man anymore. Sure Jeff felt bad for using Punk the way he did, but that's what addicts do. They use drugs and they use people to help them get drugs and appear normal. No matter how much Jeff loved the man it would always go back to drugs.
This needed to be done. Punk would be sad and lonely for a while. But someone better would come along. If Jeff didn't do this now then he would only end up ruining this perfect man, and as many times as Jeff had ruined perfectly beautiful things in his life without a care, he just couldn't bring himself to ruin this one. He had to let Punk got. The man would thank him later, if Punk even spoke to him.
Punk turned to Jeff teary eyed, his long black hair that was tied at the back of his neck coming loose. "Do you even care?!" Punk yelled.
Jeff shrugged. "Should I?" The words broke his heart to say, but Punk needed to move on. A straight edge and an addict didn't belong together; Jeff would do nothing but ruin the man like he always did to the ones he loved. No matter how much Punk tried to help him it would never work.
Punk let out a cry and turned, zipping his bag up and grabbing a couple more things he would need. "I will send the guys to pick up the rest of my shit." He said as he walked past Jeff and out of the room. Jeff followed, wanting to get one last look at Punk before he left, sure he would see Punk at work, but that was in the ring with their rivalry, not in their own apartment. Once Punk reached the door he turned on his heel and look Jeff in the eyes, olive green tearing into electric green. "Did you ever really love me? Or was I always just someone for you to use?"
Jeff tried to stay cold, tried not to let this man make him crumble to his knees and beg him to stay. Jeff couldn't do that because Punk would stay like he always did, and Jeff couldn't risk ruining Punk even more than he already had. Taking a deep breath Jeff prepared to give the final blow that would free Punk but drive the knife into his own heart. "You were just someone I could use so that WWE didn't think I was still using. Now I don't have a use for you and you don't have a use for me, so I think it's time for our little charade to end." There, it was done. Punk was free.
More tears came to Punk's eyes and he shook his head. "I fucking hate you, Jeff. I laid every moral I had down on the ground for you and did everything I could for you and you just stomped all over me. I hate you." With that Punk walked out, slamming the front door and finally Jeff could fall to his knees and cry. Eventually he was able to pull himself up and go to bed, and empty bed for an empty person.
/A Few Hours Later/
Punk walked into the apartment, slamming the door shut. He would show Jeff this time, teach the man a lesson for pretending not the love Punk. Stumbling inside Punk dropped the duffle bag he had packed a few hours ago and turned on the light, pulling out what his friend had given him to help his plan. Colt was always one to help Punk no matter what, even though he was a bit concerned about Punk's request from him.
"Jeffrey!" Punk slurred as he stomped around the living room, bumping into the table and swinging the bottle of Jack Daniels around in his hand. He was covered in the smell of the liquid and it made him want to puke, but he couldn't give up now. "Jeff fucking Hardy get out here now!"
It was only a moment before a shirtless and tired Jeff stomped into the living room, taking one look at Punk and stopping. "What the fuck, Punk? What are you doing?" He asked, looking at the bottle half full of liquid dangling loosely from Punk's hand.
"Oh nothing, I just wanted to see what was soooo amazing about this whole drinking and pills things. And you know what? I think it's kind of nice. I can see the appeal now." Punk laughed, bringing the bottle to his lips and chugging some more while wavering on his feet.
"Punk stop it! Give me the bottle!" Jeff tried to grab the bottle but Punk moved away. What the hell was happening right now?
"What's the matter, Jeff?" Punk giggled, taking another swig and making a face.
"Punk this isn't funny. You can't handle that stuff like I can, give it to me now!" Jeff looked genuinely afraid of how much Punk was drinking. If he was afraid of Punk drinking wait till he got a load of what came next.
"No drinking then? Oh well." Punk chucked to bottle to the ground, letting it hit the floor and the liquid spill out everywhere. Jeff went for the bottle but stopped short when Punk pulled something out of his pocket. A baggy full of an array of little pills in every shape, size, and color.
"Punk, no." Jeff pleaded, not wanting this to go any further.
"Oh yes, Jeff. I can see why you like this so much now, why it is so appealing to you. These make me feel better than ever." Punk pulled one out and popped it in his mouth, swallowing it and closing his eyes before grabbing another two and swallowing them down.
"Stop it, Phil! You don't know what you're fucking doing!" Jeff yelled, trying to get the baggy from Punk but the man evaded him. "Give me those fucking pills!"
"No!" Punk took another, and another, falling to the ground and leaning against the couch. Jeff followed, kneeling down and grabbing the sides of Punk's face.
"Phil please, please stop this." Jeff felt tears falling down his face.
"Why should I? I begged you to stop time after time and you never did." Punk sighed heavily. "I took you to the hospital when you didn't know when to stop. I cried and begged for you to stop for me, and you never listened. So why should I stop for you?" Punk's words were even more slurred now and his eyes fell closed. "Besides, you don't love me, you said it yourself."
Jeff cried harder, grasping the side of Punk's face to hold his head up so he could look into the man's eyes. "I didn't mean it, Phil! I didn't! I just needed you to leave so I could stop ruining your life! I'm no good for you, look what I've done to you! I'm so sorry Phil, please, I'm so sorry. I will never drink or do drugs again, I swear. Just please stop this and let me get you to a doctor! Please!" Jeff cried harder. He needed to get Punk out of here. There was no telling how much pills and alcohol Punk had had before he came in that door. If they didn't leave he might lose Punk forever. That was just not an option; Jeff could never live without Punk in his life. This was pretty ironic considering he had only hours ago practically shoved Punk out of the door and out of his life. But now it was different, now that he knew what Punk would do for him Jeff could never let him leave, even if it meant never having another drink or pill in his life.
Punk's eyes suddenly opened and a smile spread across his face. "See, that wasn't so hard, was it?"
Jeff pulled away and looked at Punk's smiling and suddenly sober face. "What the hell?"
Punk sighed and sat up straight on the floor, suddenly very sober. "I needed you to understand how I've felt, Jeff. My days are constantly filled with thoughts of coming home and finding you on the floor and being too late to help you. I've always known that one day I might come too late and I wanted you to understand how much I love you. The things that I do for you aren't because I judge you but because I love you. Do you know what would happen if I came home and you were dead? Do you?" Jeff only looked at him. "I would never last."
Jeff just looked wide eyed at Punk for a moment before standing up and pulling away from Punk. "What the fuck is wrong with you! I thought you were going to die! I thought you gave up straight edge because of me!" Jeff threw a tantrum for a moment while Punk watched. He took a moment to pace around the living room, flailing his arms as he spoke, anger in his tone, but also relief that Punk had only been messing with him. Finally Jeff faced Punk again. "I was fucking worried, Punk! Does that even mean anything to you?!"
Punk only looked at Jeff before standing, picking the spilled bottle off of the ground and holding it up to Jeff. "Apple juice." Then he took the baggy in his other hand and held them out. "Placebo pills." Punk sighed again, looking at Jeff's eyes as he took in the items. "I worry constantly, Jeff, this was only a taste of what you put me through every second of every day."
Jeff took each item, smelling the bottle and taking a pill in between his fingers. How had he missed this? He had been taking pills for years and knew what every pill on earth looked like, these were good copies but obviously not real, and the apple juice was obviously to light in color to be Jack Daniels. Jeff felt really stupid for even falling for the act. "Why?" Jeff asked while still looking at the items.
"How long do you really think you could have lasted without me there to pick you up off the ground, Jeff? And how long do you think I could have lasted without you to keep me level headed. We would have both been fired from WWE faster than we could announce our relationship was over. They would have drug tested you and I would have blown up on some executive again." Punk pulled Jeff's face close to his own. "We need each other and you know it."
Jeff thought for a moment. "I wouldn't have lasted a week without you before swallowing a handful of pills." Was all he said before he dropped the bottle and pills and grabbed Punk into a searing kiss. Jeff clutched at the man in his arms like he was a lifeline.
Punk pulled away, still holding onto Jeff and pressed their foreheads together. "That's what I was afraid of." Punk attached their lips again, pressing himself close to Jeff's warmth. His hands traveled down to Jeff's wife beater and pulled it over the man's head, throwing it to the ground and continuing the kiss. Their tongues battled, tracing each other's mouths while their hands traveled their bodies. Both men were already getting hard from the close proximity to one another. It had been a while since they had had sex because Jeff had increased his using and Punk never wanted to be with him while he was drunk or high. It had been far too long in both of their books. Now Jeff was sober and lost in the taste of Punk. He pulled Punks shirt from his body and threw with his own wife beater; tracing his hands down Punk's sculpted chest and stomach, running a thumb over the "Straight Edge" tattoo. Jeff didn't need to look to know where it was. Punk pulled him into a kiss again, taking Jeff's pierced bottom lip between his teeth and tugging a bit, earning a moan from Jeff.
Punk's hands went for Jeff's sweat pants, trying to get them down quickly. There would be plenty of time to take it slow later, right now he needed it. He needed to feel Jeff against him, on him, in him, and holding him. Punk's body burned with the need, radiating heat a mingling with Jeff's own heat, making it hard to breath.
Jeff pulled his hands away. "No, not here, the bedroom."
Understanding what Jeff wanted, Punk took his hand and led him to the bedroom, turning and pushing Jeff onto the bed when he got there. Crawling up the bed Punk pulled the sweat pants and boxers down all at once, rubbing his hands over the muscular thighs and revealing Jeff's throbbing cock that was already leaking pre-cum. Smirking Punk kneeled in front of Jeff's open thighs where his knees bent off of the bed and took Jeff's erection in his hand, stroking slowly while nipping at Jeff's thighs. The rainbow haired man couldn't help but make small moaning sounds as Punk nipped at his skin and licked away the sting it caused before scraping his teeth over the spot, the feeling shooting straight to his groin, Punk's hand still going ever so slowly up and down his cock.
"Stop teasing, Punk!" Jeff moaned as Punk's mouth came daringly close to his cock.
Smiling, Punk grasped Jeff's impressive length and let his tongue run up the underside before circling the head with his tongue piercing, making Jeff arch off of the bed and tangle his hands Punk's hair. The Straight Edge man engulfed Jeff's cock in one go, taking the entire thing into his mouth and down the back of his throat. Punk had to hold Jeff's hips down against the mattress so that he wouldn't buck up and gag him as he did his work. Pulsating the muscles in his throat, Punk moved up the length and sucked as he did so, swirling his tongue around the head and over the slit at the top when he did, gathering the pre-cum on his tongue, causing the most satisfying moan to come from Jeff. Bobbing his head up and down Jeff's cock in a steady pace Punk let one of his hands move from Jeff's hip to his balls, working them in time with his mouth and causing Jeff's hand to tighten in his hair.
"Jesus fucking Christ!" Jeff let his hips thrust upwards in Punk's mouth as the man toyed with him. Punk continued sucking and lick every time he came up, teasing the head of Jeff's cock for only a second before plunging back down and deep throating Jeff. The only thing the Rainbow Haired Warrior could do was tangle him hands in Punk's hair and moan, tugging a bit on the black locks that were bobbing up and down on his dick. Jeff could feel himself building to an orgasm and knew he wouldn't last long if he let Punk keep this up. "Baby, you gotta stop." But Punk kept going, only sucking harder and moaning, teasing Jeff. Grabbing the black locked harder Jeff pulled, forcing Punk to release Jeff's cock with a 'pop' sound. Punk gave a grin before kissing his way up Jeff body and to his mouth.
"Why should I stop? Hmm?" Punk's hand glided down, finding Jeff cock again and slowly stroking.
Jeff had to give himself a moment to concentrate, his head spinning from the contact. Looking at Punk Jeff smiled at the sparkle in the olive toned eyes, a sparkle he hadn't seen in months. Lifting his hand to the slight scruff on Punk face Jeff rubbed, sliding his thumb over Punk's bottom lip and over the silver lip ring, making the man smile. At that moment, looking into those sparkling eyes and that smile that Punk could never contain when he was happy Jeff realized that if the pills had been real, if Punk had actually done those things because of him, Jeff couldn't live with himself. Sighing Jeff pulled Punk's head down to his, giving him a peck on the lips before pressing his forehead to his lover's. "Please don't scare me like that again."
"Only if you promise to stop scaring me." Was Punk's retort.
Jeff lifted his lips to meet Punk's, giving him a slow and loving kiss. "Never again." Jeff vowed before rolling them over to he was on top of Punk. Jeff let his hands roam Punk's body, taking in every detail, every muscle and curve. But suddenly he stopped and pulled away from Punk's mouth. "Why do you still have clothes on?"
Punk smirked, quickly tearing the rest of his clothes from his body and throwing them across the room, laying back and running his hands down his body, arching off of the bed as he did so. Slowly his hand went down, down, down to his own erection. Punk bit his lip as he grasped his cock and gave a firm squeeze, stroking slowly. Kneeling between his lover's open thighs, watching him jerk himself make Jeff lick his lips. Punk knew Jeff liked to watch and he was going to tease Jeff more. Watching that tattooed hand clasp around the beautiful member made Jeff stop breathing, he loved the way Punk's fingers flexed as he stroked himself, taking his own pre-cum on his fingers and using it to coat his dick.
"You just gonna stare? Or are you gonna do something about it?" Punk moaned and arched as his own grip tightened. Jeff didn't answer, just kept watching as the muscles or the tattooed arms flexed and relaxed each time Punk squeezed and stroked himself. He couldn't help but smirk because he knew Punk was getting frustrated at Jeff's lack of attention.
"God damnitt, Jeffrey!" Punk snapped, glaring at Jeff. "Please just fuck me!"
"But I have to best view in the house, baby. It's hard to stop staring at perfection." Jeff leaned down over Punk, trapping the man's hips against the bed with his own and rubbing their cocks together. Bracing himself on his palms Jeff kissed and nipped at Punk's neck, knowing it was driving him crazy by the whining sounds he was making, Punk's hands even found their way to Jeff's back and tried pulling him down.
"I'm far from perfect, Jeff. WWE even says that I could lose-," Punk began, but Jeff cut him off with the swift motion of turning Punk onto his stomach.
"Fuck the WWE. What have I told you?" Straddling Punk's thighs Jeff rubbed the globes of Punk's ass, squeezing and causing Punk to moan and push back against him. "What have I told you?" Jeff gritted out again. Sometimes Punk got down on himself because of their companies constant complaints that he wasn't 'cut enough'. And sometimes Jeff had to let Punk know exactly how he felt about his body. Like now. Jeff's hand came down hard on Punk's ass, causing a slap sound to radiate through the room and Punk to take in a sharp breath.
"That my body is…." Punk trailed off, it was always hard for him to say the things Jeff said about his body, even getting embarrassed and blushing at the memory of the words Jeff always spoke when he got down on himself.
Another slap to the ass. "What?" Jeff asked, softly this time, coming down right next to Punk's ear and stroking his hair. Punk was shaking from need and sweat beaded on his skin.
"That my body is meant for worship and worship only. It should be.." He swallowed hard. "Fucked through a mattress every day and no part of me should be untouched." Then Punk smirked. "Which you have failed to do as of late, sir."
Jeff sighed. After the first night they had ever made love, Punk had been shy and didn't want to take off his clothes in front of Jeff, Jeff had to say those words to him. He vowed that any time he could get him hands on Punk that's what he would do, worship him. But in his drug and alcohol haze over the past few months he had neglected Punk and his vow. Now that there was nothing clouding his vision Jeff felt horrible. How could Punk even come back to him and let him touch his body after the neglect of his emotional and physical needs? Resting his head between Punk's shoulders Jeff sighed again.
"I'm sorry." Jeff breathed, and he meant it. Time and time before Punk had heard those words, but never like this.
Turning over so that he was on his back under Jeff he raised his hand and brought Jeff's face to his own, pecking his lips. "You can make it up to me now." The love in Punk's eyes made Jeff's heart beat faster.
Looking down at his boyfriend Jeff kissed him fiercely, biting and sucking at his lips. Punk returned the passion, wrapping himself around Jeff, his hands tracing down the muscles of Jeff's back, all the way down to his ass where he stopped and squeezed. Jeff's hands rubbed up and down the smooth skin he had missed so much.
Pulling back Punk arched up, grinding their naked cocks together again, making them both moan. "Fuck me." It wasn't a question, it was a demand.
Pulling away from Punk, Jeff went for their bedroom nightstand drawer. "No…" Punk grabbed his hand as he reached to get the lube. Jeff only looked at him confused. "No time, just fuck me." Punk pulled himself up, attaching his lips of Jeff's left nipple and sucking, making the man moan and grasp his head to pull him away.
Their eyes met, Jeff still confused. "I'm not hurting you. You need to be prepped first."
"No, I want just you tonight. Hard and fast. I want you to hurt me." Punk looked up at him through his eye lashes. Those words made Jeff's cock get harder than it was before.
"I won't hurt you." Jeff was trying to convince himself now more than ever. He had never taken Punk dry before and knew very well how it felt. Sure Punk always liked it rough, but they had always had some sort of lube in the last, whether it was just spit of pre-cum.
"Look at me, Jeff." His head snapped up and he stared into Punk's confident eyes. "I need to feel you. I need to know you came back to me." This was about Jeff being sober while they made love. Punk wanted him at his strongest, which was when he was sober. Punk wanted to feel everything that was being done to him by the strong Jeff. And most of all Punk just wanted a good fucking from his lover who had left him untouched for so long.
"It's your choice." Jeff said before shoving Punk back down, knowing exactly what the man wanted. Flipping Punk back over again the returned to his position of straddling Punk's thighs and pressing him down, Punks face against the mattress. Letting his hands drift down to Punk's ass Jeff pulled the cheeks open, taking in the waiting pucker that he would fuck. He wavered a bit, wondering how bad it would hurt Punk since they hadn't done this in so long. He didn't want to tear his lover, so he brought him fingers to his own lips and spit, sliding them down Punk's ass and circling his entrance, making the man moan and push back.
"Just fuck me, Jeff. I want all of it!" Punk demanded.
Jeff pulled his hand away and grasped his cock, rubbing it in circular motions around Punk's hole, spreading his pre-cum and using it as lube.
"I know what you're doing, Jeffrey! I said no lube now just f-," Punk never had a chance to finish his thought as Jeff slammed inside of him, only able to get half of his length in at first then causing a second wave of moans to come from Punk's mouth as he slid in the rest of the way. Jeff just stayed like that for a moment, enjoying the feeling of having Punk back, but he didn't stay to long before beginning a pounding pace into Punk. Leaning up on his knees so he could get a better position Jeff let one of his hands grasp Punk's hair, pulling the man's head and shoulder u while the rest of his stayed on the mattress. Jeff angled himself to hit Punk's prostate every time, making the sweetest profanities fall from Punk's lips.
"Fuck, harder!" Punk called, arching off of the bed so his ass met each trust of Jeff's.
Giving him what he wanted Jeff went fast, using his body weight to pound into Punk, causing the entire bed to start moving from the force, banging against the wall in a violent rhythm. Jeff braced himself on his hands over Punk, watching as the man's face turned to the side and contorted in pleasure. Punk moaned, but that wasn't enough for Jeff, not when it had been so long since he had heard Punk scream. Jeff stopped his motion and pulled out of Punk, causing the ravenette to whimper at the emptiness.
"Jeff…please…" Punk begged, but Jeff didn't answer, just flipped the man onto his back and spread his legs open, creating the most tantalizing view. Punk was laid out on his back, covered in sweat, panting heavily, hair a mess, and legs spread wide open in anticipation to be ravaged by Jeff again.
Without wasting another moment Jeff hooked Punk's legs on his forearms and plunged back home, this time not giving the man a single second to adjust. Once again there was the sound of the bed hitting the wall, causing more marks to cover up later, and the slapping sound of sweaty skin meeting sweaty skin.
Punk wrapped his arms around Jeff's neck and pulled him down into a fierce kiss that took so much air from Jeff's body his lungs burned for the need of oxygen, he only pulled away when he felt light headed. Continuing his plunder on Punk's body Jeff nipped at his throat and bit the skin right below his ear.
Leaning in Jeff let his breath fan across Punk ear. "This is all I need now. Only this." He kissed Punk neck soothingly as he quickened his pace, knowing he was close from the burning in the pit of his stomach.
"I'm so close, Jeff!" Punk moaned, lifting his hips to meet each thrust.
Reaching between them Jeff began stroking Punk's cock in time with his thrusts, squeezing when and jerking just the way Punk liked it.
"Son of a….fucking…bitch…" Punk moaned, latching himself to Jeff. "I'm g-gonna cum!" Punk slammed back down onto the bed and road out his orgasm, hips still thrusting up. His come coated both his and Jeff's stomachs. Watching Punk's come cover their bodies and the look of pleasure on his lovers face caused Jeff to go over the edge, the clenching walls of Punk's ass guiding him there. Jeff filled Punk's ass with him come, riding out his own orgasm and letting his body fall on top of Punk's. They both breathed heavily, enjoying the afterglow. After a couple of minutes Jeff finally pulled out of Punk, making the man feel empty, and rolled next to him. Punk turned to face him while Jeff propped himself up on his side, setting his head in his palm and running his other hand down Punk's face, moving to caress Punk's neck.
Jeff smiled at the lazy look on Punk's face. Punk always had that look after sex, half lidded eyes and a content smile. Twirling a strand of hair between his fingers Jeff leaned in and kissed Punk's head. "I love you."
Punk ran a hand through Jeff's colorful hair, enjoying the feel of the softness. "I know. I love you, too."
Jeff closed his eyes and sighed. "I think-I think I'm going to take a leave from work for a while and go to rehab."
Punk sat up and looked at him. "Jeff…if you do that they will know for sure you haven't been clean. They could cancel your contract and not let you wrestle anymore."
"I would rather lose my job than lose you again."
"No. We will handle this ourselves, like we do everything else. I won't let you lose what you love because of that." Punk shook his head.
"But do you trust that I won't go back to my old ways without outside help?" Jeff asked, running his hand through Punk's hair.
"Yes. Jeff you've never-you've never acted like this before." Punk looked down at the mattress and drew figured in the material with his finger.
"Acted like what, Punk? I've lied to you so many times about getting sober. I just don't want you to think I'm lying now."
Punk looked at him and smiled. "Exactly. You've never even mentioned the word 'rehab' all those times before. You've never made love to me like that all the times before. And you've definitely never had this look in your eyes before."
Jeff knew Punk wasn't lying. He had never talked seriously about these things before. Because he hadn't truly wanted to give up his way of life before. But now was different, now he understood what he had put Punk through and fully intended to make up for lost time. This was it.
"I love you, Philly." Jeff said, tickling Punk's neck with his nose, causing the man to giggle.
"I love you to, Jeffy. I will always love you.
In the end Jeff hadn't ruined Punk and Punk hadn't ruined Jeff. They had both ruined the addiction.
A/N- Okay, this is a random one-shot I thought would be nice to write you guys. I have a bunch more one-shot and story ideas in my mind so just let me know what you think of my writing if you want me to keep posting. Enjoy!
Love,
-BattleBird