It's been two years.
Her knuckles started to turn white as the grip of the hoary figure flanked by the slim fingers tightened. Pair of black eyes stuck out to the now hazy view as the rain slapped the window countless times. Between those parted lips, praying flew out endlessly. She didn't care if they were incoherent; spending almost every day whispering something indistinct would never get listed in Black's regrets, just as long as she understood.
Closing her eyes, she began losing her seize on the sacred symbol she's been revering in every single part of her life. The now moving hands started wiping what appeared to be droplets of clear crystal rolling down her cheeks. The sound of her baby's steady breathing in the darkness couldn't calm her now pounding heart as if every second the beating lump in her chest threatened to was the anniversary of when she left.
"Where are you…Gekikara?"
"I'm not gonna see you again."
A figure of raven mane turned in surprise hearing the spoken sentence. The standing opponent didn't continue the words and kept busy biting her nails that were already trimmed in a disarray manner.
"Gekikara?"as if needing a confirmation of what she just heard. Maybe she made a mistake.
But no, Black had heard it loud and clear. Black walked closer, nearing the source of blood and spicy air that overwhelmed her. The unique mixture that always successfully moved her heart to skip a beat every time her lungs filled with the scent. She was going to ask why, but as Black witnessed Gekikara's brief glimpse towards the cot, Black received her answer.
"You said it was okay…" Black muttered, feeling pathetic as she heard her own pleading tone. "You said you don't mind being with him…"
A hint of giggle escaped the insane queen's mouth. Bitter and hopeless.
"Every time I see your child, I see his father. I just can't."
Black felt a massive avalanche occurring inside her as she heard the simple and blunt sentence coming from her dear insanity. Those promises, whispers, and sweet words immediately turned into nothing but despair and anguish. Her throat became suddenly dry and she couldn't even reply a word.
"Okotteru?"
The sudden cry behind her snapped Black back into the present. She made her way back to the bed, scooping the bundled body into her arms. As the cries died down to whimpers, Black stared at her son. It's been two years, and the only evidence of time going by was the fact that he kept on growing, soon to be a toddler. Black couldn't help but feel nostalgic.
He was the only one left in her life and he was the only one she could live for.
Several Months Later
Black never had herself in such an intricate situation as now. Possessing the ability of inhumane speed never left her alone cornered and battered in a construction tunnel like this. There was always an exit, a means of escape. However, having such special skill means nothing if you are surrounded by circles of men armed with pipes, bats and such weapons, blocking all possible chances of retreat. Black had never felt so trapped in her life. Her already blurry eyes told something, that if she made a single mistake, only two options waited for her. Feeling the coldness of prison's concrete floor or buried six feet under.
"You little bitch! Give back our money!" a guttural roar sounded, amplified by the closed walls of the tunnel.
Black attempted to shoot a smirk to the infuriated crowd even though she knew her bluff would not hold any affect, their rage for her so great that the last man standing wouldn't decrease the horde's gallantry. With that weak attempt at mockery, the shouts become louder and hundreds of gazes that were drilling her bones, turned into animalistic hunger that could turn her into nothing but ashes in seconds.
"Kill her! Kill her! Kill her!"
Between her pants, she could hear the monotone roars sounding over and over, as if lulling her to her last breath. The deep chants sounding almost like a holy hymn, in Black's deathly state. She knew they were going to attack; their movements slow as if teasing her. Both of her numb fists buttered in blood, still attempted to lay a punch even though she knew the possibility of hitting was beyond zero. Trapped in sudden blurriness, Black fell back down as she felt the blood gushing into her head, her balance becoming intolerant. She didn't even feel the floor as she collapsed, finally succumbing to her wounds and excessive blood loss. She could feel them closing in, going to give the last blow.
However, she didn't feel it. Under Black's last consciousness, her already fuzzy sight captured a dancing silhouette before her very eyes. Her ears detained a familiar distinct giggle before she completely leaped into darkness.
xxx
Her eyelids were glued so strongly onto each other that it took a few attempts for Black to open them. Immediately, she closed them again, the dim light hurting her sensitive pupils. After a few moments, she fluttered them open again, reveling in the miracle of her survival. However, it was a brief moment before Black hastily returned to the self-control mode. Already in a slightly upright position, propped by the large pillows under her, Black was able to scan the area. The room appeared to be a familiar place, triggering the faded memory tracks in her brain. Though she had expected to be in a hospital, Black was glad she wasn't. She hated hospitals. Considering herself safe for the moment, Black examined her own condition.
Black blinked as she felt her eyes began to water after too long staring at her pale hands. Last time she saw the pair they were bathed in crimson and numb. A jolt of awkwardness sparked between her muscles as she tried to move the fingers, slowly, before she clenched both of her fists. They felt so amazingly strange, as if she hadn't used her hands for centuries. She could see that her arms were also woundless, but not without the faint lines of scarred tissue. The rest of her body was in the same condition, barely showing she was at death's door. Black had expected to be completely wrapped in bandages, but instead it seemed like she had nearly fully recovered.
And completely naked.
Black sat up properly, using her hands to balance her weight. She could hear a faint sound of cracking somewhere in her back, Black's eyes winced at the effect of the sound which emitted a significant pain between her limbs; made her slightly whimper. Then in that second she realized her throat was as desiccated as a desert, Black made a sound in between a cough and sharp inhale in attempt to clear her drying gorge. The actions were utterly useless that now she tried to get herself out of the bed, searching for some drink. However, as soon as she stiffly swung her slim legs onto the floor, Black stopped, feeling awkward as she only had a single white blanket to cover her body, unconsciously keeping it over quickly glanced around to discover where her clothes could possibly be.
Her confused eyes turned to the source of the sound of the door creaking open, slowly revealing a hidden figure in the other side. Black's instinct instantly told her to switch into fighting mode. Suddenly her wide eyes further widened in horror, her fist slowly loosening the death grip on the blanket as her stomach stirred in chaos and discomfort, seeing who was standing before her eyes. That unmistakable grin that sent a whirlwind of disarray through Black's once clear mind.
"Yokatta na…"
Black's mind and body released an outbreak. The sigh of relief, the voice of concern, and the figure in her sight practically just unleashed the constant subconscious optimism of her return and an undeniable craving inside Black that grew manically in just seconds. Her breath suddenly caught up in her throat, making it even drier. All Black could hear was the deafening sound of her own rapidly beating heart that threatened to burst from her chest as all the memories with the latter flew back filling her forever emptiness. Black's eyes undressed the figure completely as if she needed a confirmation of what she faced now wasn't one of her haunting delusions she always had, in the few times when she felt most isolated and hopeless. Maybe this was an illusion. However, that scent, the same scent from all those years ago still lingered around the person, making Black want to cling onto the building of happiness that choked her.
"Gekika-"
"You had been sleeping for three days."
Snapped from her previous joy of unexpected delusions, she fell back to reality. Black blinked in astonishment hearing the cutting statement. Processing Gekikara's words, Black solved the puzzle of how her body seemed nearly good as new. It made sense why her body felt so weak but amazingly so strong at the same time. Fast healing was indeed one of the rare abilities the dark queen possessed and Black couldn't be more proud of it. It was an astounding yet amusing sensation when she had found out her body, the feeling of being reborn once again.
"Come on."
A startling grip on her right wrist snapped Black back to reality. Black glanced down at the hand that gripped the blanket around her, so close to her chest that she was sure Gekikara could feel her beating heart. Even her hands seemed to have not changed, remained pale and slender, yet firm and coarse. It was the same hand that had held hers, transferring heat and support in the coldest of nights. The same hand that had promised to protect her for all eternity.
The same hand that had let Black go.
Then the contained anger and resentment that had been slowly developing all these years finally released itself. Black snapped back her hand, causing her to lose her grip on the only veil covering her naked body. Even as this happened, Black stood confidently, glaring at Gekikara with as much ferocity she could muster, even while being completely bare.
"Don't touch me." Black hissed.
Gekikara, now a few paces back, remained silent. Even in the dim room, Black could see Gekikara's eyes unmistakably graze over her body. She wasn't sure if it was the cool room that made her quiver, or that swift glance, but Black hastily bent over to pick up the fallen blanket.
Suddenly, Black felt herself sway. If that simple movement could make Black fall to her knees, then clearly she wasn't fully recovered. Black wondered if perhaps that blow to the head really did some damage. She felt the blood rushing around her head making her feel nauseous as the room span out of control. Even when she heard Gekikara's muffled voice and hands on her shoulders, she was too weak to respond.
And as Black slipped back into unconsciousness, she briefly felt Gekikara's arms around her, and she couldn't help herself surrender to the guilty pleasure of Gekikara's warm embrace.
xxx
When Black awoke yet again, she was in the same position as before. She glanced around, the room as dim as before. She wondered how long she slept this time. However, as she propped herself up, Black noticed that it was considerably easier which meant her joints were not as stiff as previously, meaning that she must not have slept for too long. Glancing around the room, she realized why the room seemed so familiar. She had only been here once before, but she remembered. It was Gekikara's room.
It was just as desolate as Black's first and only visit, containing only an empty desk, chair and bed which Black currently occupied. Suddenly, Black wondered where Gekikara slept. Perhaps on that one tiny couch she saw long ago. Abruptly, Black was washed with a rush of guilt, making Gekikara sleep in such an uncomfortable place. However, catching herself, Black convinced herself that Gekikara deserved it. Who cares if she had to sleep there? Black didn't.
Suddenly, as if beckoned, Gekikara entered the room.
"You're awake."
Black's grip on the blanket tightened, making sure to it covered everything. She didn't respond, even though her voice was no longer parched. She glanced to the side and noticed the semi-full glass of water. Did Gekikara quench her thirst? Black's jaw tightened. How dare she act so caring after all this time? Acting like nothing happened, like it was that easy to walk back into Black's life. No one asked her to.
"You slept all night."
She turned her attention back to Gekikara, who now stood at the bedside. Black stared at her, wondering what was going through this unreadable person's mind. Gekikara returned the gaze attentively and without another word, Gekikara reached out and brushed a stray strand of hair from Black's face. Black unconsciously flinched at the feather-like touch, as if Gekikara's touch would hurt her more than the wounds that scarred her body.
In that second Black saw Gekikara's grin falter, but it quickly reverted back to its menacing self.
"You still haven't forgiven me." she stated.
That matter-of-factly tone irritated Black in ways she couldn't explain.
"Why should I?" Black quietly retorted, her voice sounding much better than yesterday but still quite hoarse.
"I am the one that saved you, you know."
This statement added to the fire that was already boiling within Black.
"And does that mean I have to automatically forgive you?"
Even though Black's face was usually emotionless, she clearly showed her rage and disgust with her prominent scowl and dark glare. However, this seemed to only make Gekikara's smirk seem more pleased than before. Suddenly, with a giggle, Gekikara walked away, leaving Black astounded. As Gekikara closed the door behind her, Black realized one thing. Gekikara would always do what she pleased.
Silently seething, Black took the glass and drank the rest of the water in deep gulps, before slamming it back down onto the desk. Even if she wasn't strong enough to fight, Black surely had enough energy to leave. She got out of the bed and slowly stood up, not wanting another episode like yesterday. Just when she was about to search for her clothes, the door flew open. To Black's surprise, it was Gekikara. She marched towards Black with a recognizable determination. While Black remained stunned, Gekikara tightly gripped Black's wrist, like she did yesterday. However, Black was not as repulsed as yesterday and too stunned by Gekikara's unannounced return, she was already being dragged out of the room.
"W-What are you doing? Let me go!" Black exclaimed.
However, Gekikara's grip only seemed to strengthen and she only giggled a reply. Black gripped the blanket around her chest tightly to keep it in place when she saw Gekikara throw a glance back. Maybe she was being self-conscious, but Black thought she had enough of Gekikara seeing her entire body.
"You need to be freshened up." shortly stated Gekikara as she pulled the dark queen across the corridor."The bath's ready now."
So that was why Gekikara had quickly returned. She had only gone to check the bath. Not because she was affected by Black's words. This made Black even more irritated than she was before, making her resistant grow. However, even with the protests, Gekikara had managed to get Black into the bathroom.
Gekikara truly did whatever she pleased.
xxx
How did she end up like this? Black thought as Gekikara rubbed the shampoo roughly into her hair. Black internally sighed, and instead of thinking too much about it, she surrendered to her need of being clean. As those sharp fingers caressed her scalp, Black couldn't help but shiver.
"Are you cold?" Gekikara suddenly asked.
Black shook her head, scolding herself for letting herself somewhat enjoy this attention. She heard that damn giggle before Gekikara announced, "Close your eyes."
She couldn't even reply when suddenly Gekikara poured the basin of water over Black's head.
Instantly it warmed her, but it didn't stop the tiny tremble that Black felt when Gekikara started to stroke her hair, washing the remaining spots of shampoo with the shower. Once again, silence resumed, letting Black contemplate her next move. However, this was easier said than done.
It was true that Black still held anger against Gekikara, a grudge that would not easily be lifted, but Gekikara did save her life and Black was now in her gratitude. This irked Black, especially since she was not one who would not go without repaying such a deep favor. And the thing that most did not sit well with Black was the fact that Gekikara had been so attentive. Taking care of her for those three days; keeping her alive, washing her now… it was confusing. It clouded her judgment and made hating her much harder than it should be.
"Why are you doing this?"
Black felt Gekikara's movements' stop, obviously hearing Black's question. However, the pause was brief before she resumed scrubbing Black's back.
"What happened to you?" Gekikara suddenly inquired, instead of answering the question. "Where's-"
"I hate you."
There, she said it. Finally, Black set things right. She wanted this façade to stop. All these conflicting feelings were too much for Black to endure. But at least now she could convey the one sure emotion she felt towards this woman.
Black didn't know what she expected. For Gekikara to storm off… maybe. For Gekikara to scald her with boiling water… possibly. To throw her into the bath and maybe drown her… likely. But Black did not expect for Gekikara to laugh. And wholeheartedly she did; that insane laughter that sent quivers through grown men. Black was about to turn around, before realizing her current nakedness. Instead, she continued to face forward, listening to that irritating laugh ring in her ears, amplified by the tiled walls.
Soon, it died down, leaving Black with a slight snigger. And like nothing happened, Gekikara resumed washing her.
"I'm glad you hate me." Gekikara said, with an almost gleeful tone."At least it's better than nothing… that would really hurt"
Though Black usually was not one for talk, this left her completely speechless. Even if the last words were only a whisper, Black heard it.
"There. All clean now. I'll help you into the bath."
Too bemused to do anything, Black allowed herself to be supported slightly by Gekikara's hands, not even caring that she was naked, as she painfully tried to bend her legs over the high tub side. The milky water immediately soothed Black's tense muscles as she became submerged, and she almost let herself fully relax. However, Black had a more pressing situation to attend to.
What did Gekikara mean by that? Did she not even know a declaration of hatred when she heard one? What did she mean hurt? Wasn't what she was doing now hurting Black? Black was about to question Gekikara, but she was beaten to it.
"So what happened to your job?" Gekikara asked, putting away the stool and basin.
Why should Black tell her? She had no right to know. So Black remained silent, letting the water rise above her shoulders as she slipped lower. She wished she could be swallowed by the water. At least then she wouldn't have to see that smirk that Gekikara was now wearing. Without a word, Gekikara headed towards the door, knowing she would get an answer.
Black quietly watched. There was a scene in her repressed memory that was similar to this. Gekikara walking away, leaving Black lean back, strong and sturdy, the bounty of scars hidden by the thin t-shirt, tucked into black shorts. The same back she had seen so many times before. The one that haunted Black's dreams and nightmares.
She wanted to scream or yell. She wanted to beg and cry. She wanted to say so many things. How she wanted Gekikara to stay, how she wanted her to never leave, and how she wanted Gekikara to get over her issues with her son, and if she couldn't, they would work together to find some way to persevere. Her mind was screaming at her to say something.
However, her lips remained closed. And all Black did was silently watch as Gekikara walked out of the door, and out of her life.
The same back, the last thing she saw the night Gekikara left. The past Black would have wanted nothing more than to press her face against the solid structure, and let herself be supported by Gekikara. But that wouldn't happen now. Not after all she had been through; Black would never rely on another again. Trust was just another luxury she couldn't afford.
"Your clothes are in the basket." Gekikara called over her shoulder.
Then, she slid the door closed, leaving Black all alone.
xxx
Black let out a sigh of content. The bath really did do the trick, making Black feel more rejuvenated than ever. As she dried her hair with the towel, Black saw the pile of clothes, just like Gekikara said, they were in the small weaved basket. She didn't know why she was surprised, maybe she thought Gekikara would lie. Black headed to the pile of folded clothes, her body dry already from the hot bath. Seeing her panties and bra on top, Black quickly swiped them and hurriedly put them on, her face beet red. She wasn't sure why she had hurried so, even though Gekikara had seen much worse than her underwear, but the thought of Gekikara having washed her underwear was embarrassing.
One by one, Black wore each article of clothing until she was fully dressed. Even if some thought being naked was freedom, Black didn't like it. She felt most comfortable when she wore clothes, at least at times when necessary. It was almost a form of barrier, from everyone's preying eyes. However, Gekikara had managed to tear that wall down as well.
Lastly, she took hold of her jacket. A faint smell lingered when she placed it on, like the wafting smell of correction fluid or permanent marker. Bringing her sleeve to her nose, Black took a soft sniff. She instantly drew back, the scent overpowering her senses. It was the smell of blood. Was it from that incident, or from Gekikara herself? Black didn't know, but as she inhaled it lightly once more, it only brought back bitter memories.
As Black headed back to the bedroom, she hesitated when she saw the dim light radiate from the living room. Like a moth being drawn in, Black felt her feet start to head towards the source. She stopped at the doorway, catching herself as soon as she saw Gekikara, sitting calmly on the tiny sofa, now her makeshift bed. The sight itself was odd, Black not used to the usual maniac Gekikara sitting so still, but what was even stranger was what Black herself said next.
"My job…"
Black paused, her breath catching in her throat as Gekikara faced her. Even though Black suspected that Gekikara must have heard Black's light steps before she was there, she didn't expect Gekikara to stare so intently. However, she collected herself, not wanting to be drawn in any further, because Black was sure, if she did, she would be electrocuted.
"I lost it." Black continued."They caught me stealing baby food."
Then, not waiting to receive a reply, Black headed towards Gekikara's bedroom.
xxx
A few days passed and it was the same. Gekikara would disappear during most of the day, while Black slept or wondered around the small house, working her body back into shape. When Gekikara returned, she would help Black eat and bathe. When Black became strong enough, she began cooking, sharing dinner together. During these exchanges, rarely words were spoken, the tasks silently being carried out on a daily basis. However, it was beginning to be like before, before everything happened. Back to the days when Gekikara never left, when she and Black were happily together. Like the days when Gekikara would make dinner, making ultra-mega-spicy curry which Black would try to swallow even though it burned her throat like coal. Like the days where Black looked forward to finishing work because it meant Gekikara had readied the bath for the both of them. Like the days where Gekikara and her son somewhat got on. Like the days the three of them seemed like a happy family.
Except, it wasn't. Those days were over.
Black jolted awake, sweat making her body slick and uncomfortable. Her vest top and shorts clinging to her like wet plastic, suffocating every pore on her body. Black gritted her teeth, resting her damp forehead against her palms, her elbows supported by her knees. She shakily breathed in and out, in and out. However, even though she tried, her heart was beating painfully against her ribcage.
Another nightmare.
This time it was about that storehouse, the reek of mold and filth lingering in Black's nostrils even though she was fully awake. She was still trapped in there, the ropes cutting into her bleeding flesh, crying out as Black helplessly watched the men surround the tiny body that cried for her help. However, no matter how hard she cried for them to stop, they continued to surround the innocent. Then, the men turned into hyenas, their fangs dripping saliva and eyes filled with evil and gluttony. However, before they could begin their attack, Black awoke, just to live all again.
Suddenly, the door burst open, Gekikara standing in the doorway.
"I heard you scream."
Black couldn't reply, too shocked by the sudden entrance or too horrified by her nightmare or just overwhelmed by Gekikara's appearance. Black simply remained still, her eyes wide with fright and mouth open in a silent cry. Even if the sympathetic look was brief, Black saw it, even though it was soon replaced by a mild grin.
"Let's get you into the bath."
And without protesting, Black allowed Gekikara to guide her into the bathroom.
As Black sat on the bath stool, she waited for Gekikara to enter, usually waiting for Black to finish undressing before entering herself. Suddenly, when the door opened, Black was stunned.
"What are you doing?" she exclaimed.
There in front of her, was Gekikara, completely naked. Even though Black was used to Gekikara being in the bathroom with her, she had only ever stayed until Black was in the bath, before leaving, while being fully dressed.
"I want to have a bath too." Gekikara giggled in reply.
It wasn't like it was anything she hadn't seen before, but even so, Black felt like she shouldn't look. So, Black instantly looked away, her cheeks blazing. When she heard Gekikara's light patter of steps come behind her, Black closed her eyes and let Gekikara begin. Black just sighed, it was just another one of Gekikara's impulsive acts, and Black didn't care as long as it took her mind off the nightmares. However, Black too could be impulsive.
"I'll wash your back."
Black didn't know what type of face Gekikara was wearing when she heard Black, but from that same giggle, which echoed in the small bathroom, Black knew Gekikara agreed.
Black moved away from the stool in such a manner that she didn't catch a glimpse of Gekikara's front, nor did Gekikara see Black's, making sure to keep her back facing Gekikara at all times.
Finally, when she sat down behind Gekikara, Black admired the naked back she only saw in her memories. The skin, painted with scars, seemed so inviting to touch that Black found her fingers in midair, just about an inch away from Gekikara's body. Black retracted her hand instantly, grabbing the soapy sponge from the small plastic tub.
As Black began the process of washing Gekikara's back, the procedure that Gekikara repeated every day on Black since her arrival, she made sure her fingers didn't touch Gekikara's bare skin. Black needed to keep this tiny distance, because if she didn't, Black knew she would not be able to go back.
Black began to lose herself to the task, the bubbles making Gekikara's back into a canvas of white. Suddenly, she thought back to Gekikara's question asked days ago.
"What happened to you?"
Indeed. What had happened to the life Black has once known?
Before entering high school, Black was raised in an orphanage, her mother and father lost in a car crash. Though happily raised by the nuns of the monastery, Black was alone. No one could understand her, let alone herself. So when Black decided to leave the care and protection of the orphanage, she wanted to discover herself. Then, she found out about her power; speed that made everything into a blur, making a distance easily covered in seconds. Withdrawn and powerful, Black found relief in fighting. And when Yuko came and offered her help and more power, Black couldn't resist. One minute she was a student enjoying her high school life, gaining friends and a lover, she then became a worker, then she became pregnant, then a mother, then a single mother, then a criminal, then nearly dead. And finally she was back to square one, alone once again.
"I only did what I had to survive."
Black felt Gekikara straighten at her sudden voice. Black didn't know why she started talking, but it may have been because she was afraid in keeping her thoughts inside her for any longer, the overflowing anxieties threatening to explode within her.
It really was laughable what they considered hardships back in their high school days. The obstacles that she faced truly paled to the hardships she had been through, what she had to deal with now, as an adult. The things Black had to bare and hide; only going ahead as her burdens weighed her down. But even then, what she saw and what she had been through was truly nothing compared to the incident that happened about a week ago.
"Black...where is he?"
Black froze, her hand still gripping the sponge that dripped soap down her arm. The unanswered taboo question that always hung onto Gekikara's lips. Black dropped her arm, her head dropping as she thought back to the incident, when it all happened.
"He's…gone."
And just like that, the box kept inside her heart burst open and released all the secrets Black had desperately tried to rid. That night, when she was made to watch her only child die.
Like a landslide, what happened that night, what Black had been through, just fell out of Black's mouth. It was uncontrollable, like a sickness, each moment spewing out.
Black had planned her theft, knowing full well the gang's lair she was planning to infiltrate was going to be filled with risks and dangers. However, Black felt confident, carefully preparing for that night. However, what didn't come expected was that her son would contract a frighteningly high fever. With no one to look after him but her, Black didn't know what to do. Her instincts told her to stay, leave the raid for another night, however she needed money desperately, to pay for rent, food and other required necessities. And against all instincts, she decided to take him with her, as he was sound asleep anyway. Then, from there, it was a blur. Black and her son were captured, she was tortured mercilessly. It was only for half a day but it might as well have been a life time, the pain that they had to suffer, too excruciating for words. And then, they took him, to the center of the warehouse, right in front of Black's eyes and…
"I wish I died with him." Black softly muttered.
Suddenly, as soon as Black said those words, she was engulfed by wet arms, a slick body pressed against hers. She felt Gekikara's breath mixing with her hair, the air seeping to her neck.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Gekikara chanted again and again, her breath hitting the same spot, her words like a quiet prayer for forgiveness.
And that was when Black finally cried.
When Black escaped, she didn't know what she was thinking. Why didn't she let them kill her? That way she could have at least been able to join her son, wherever he might be. But Black knew why. The answer was hidden away because she would not acknowledge this ugly truth. It was unforgivable, to think of such a thing. And Black knew it. But that only made the feeling of hate and disgust at herself manifest, consuming Black until she writhed with pain, the pain that could only be relived in her nightmares. But now, she finally admitted it. After all that had happened, though consumed by grief and guilt, Black couldn't deny it anymore.
What she said was a lie. Black was happy when Gekikara saved her. No matter how much she regretted it, Black wasn't ready to die.
Black continued to weep and sob, her body shaking as the cries racked her body. Her tears were hot and fast. She wept loudly and clearly, like a new born baby, relenting everything that was trapping her soul. She wanted to release everything, until she was just an empty shell. Hollow, so she could feel no more. But no matter how long she cried for, it wouldn't stop. Not until her tears ran out, her eyes stung, and her throat sore. And yet, Gekikara did not move an inch, just holding on to Black as she too clung on to Gekikara with all her might.
As Black's hiccups turned into soft sniffles, Gekikara slightly pulled away but Black tightened her hold. She couldn't let go, not now. She couldn't be left alone again.
"Let's get into the bath." Gekikara softly suggested.
Black only nodded, too weak to talk. Once again, she let Gekikara guide her to the tub, and slowly lower her in, just like when Black first woke up. However, this time, Black never let go of Gekikara's hand, too afraid of what might happen if she did. Terrified of the possibility of the case that if Black did let go, Gekikara would walk away, leaving Black once again.
So when Black looked at Gekikara, she couldn't speak, her fear petrifying her capability of speech. However, as Black stared desperately into Gekikara's eyes, she saw Gekikara gently smile. Not a smirk but a real smile. And immediately relief filled Black. In that one gaze, Gekikara was able to understand what Black had wanted to say.
Don't leave me.
And Gekikara didn't.
Gekikara slowly stepped into the hot bath, opposite Black. It was a tight fit, but the tub was built for two people so it was comfortable enough. This was the first time Black had seen Gekikara fully bare. Her eyes carelessly swept over the body, taking in Gekikara's unchanged beauty. Somewhere along the way, Black felt the hate that encased her heart had slowly chiseled away, no matter how hard she tried to resist. Perhaps it was by Gekikara's unwavering kindness, or the longing she secretly felt, but Black knew what she needed now. Black wanted to feel again.
All of the sudden, the water shifted, waves running over the side of the tub, sliding to the floor. Black's face was only inches away from Gekikara, her body pressing against Gekikara's, the heat from the bath and from their bodies making them feverish. Black stared into those eyes that understood everything about her, and let herself sink into them.
"Just this once." Black whispered; her voice full of desperation and urgency. "Please."
Black didn't know who initiated the kiss, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that she desperately wanted to be as close as possible to Gekikara. She wanted to let Gekikara ravish her body until she felt hollow. She wanted to melt into Gekikara's body so they were one affinity. She wanted all these things so much, so overwhelmed with desire, Black started to cry again.
As they kissed, Gekikara felt water drip down her cheek. Withdrawing slightly, she saw the little tracks of liquid that slid gradually down Black's pale face, unsure if it was water or tears. Without hesitation, she kissed away the droplets, tasting the saltiness of Black's pain and letting it mix with hers. She wanted everything, no matter what Black offered her, Gekikara would do anything.
Sex, or love-making, was something supposed to be beautiful, almost like a dance between two. A way to physical express love and affection towards the other, in ways that words could not.
However, this was nothing like that. The sharp hisses of pain, guilt and hunger poured from them as limbs tangled and hands scratched at tender flesh. Sloppy and rushed; it was the complete opposite of love-making.
Black groaned as Gekikara's fingers teased Black's opening. Her tongue wrapped around Gekikara's, drinking all the words that were left unsaid. She moaned out loud, the sound resonating against the walls, as Gekikara slipped in her finger, the water making it easy. Black leaned forward, roughly grabbing a chunk of Gekikara's hair and pulled her in for another deep kiss. Their hot breath combined into one as Black panted into Gekikara's mouth, her finger remembering all the right places. Then, without hesitation, Gekikara added another finger, making Black's hips buck forward. The pleasure was intense but not enough. Black needed more.
"Harder." Black huffed, her hips matching Gekikara's steady pumping.
Gekikara gazed at Black, her cheeks rosy with heat and her eyes yearning for more. No matter how many times she had dreamed about it, reality was so much better. Unable to contain herself, Gekikara angled her head, biting down on Black's pert nipple. Black cried out, her back hitting the end of the tub as the pain and pleasure shot down to her core. Then, Gekikara, doing just as Black asked, began fingering her relentlessly. Black cried out as the sensations rushed through her body, setting all her nerves on fire. As Gekikara took in the sight, sucking onto Black's large breast, taking in the delicious sounds of Black's pleasure, she knew what Black needed. Black's urging body told her what Black needed most. Release.
Black's hand suddenly slammed down onto the side of the tub, her hand gripping tightly on the ledge, while her other hand clasped Gekikara's shoulder. Gekikara's hand had suddenly quickened once more, making Black's insides burn with pleasure, and her other hand roughly teased her clit, the uncontrollable sensations overcoming Black's body. Black felt the ball of pressure tighten as Gekikara's fingers continuously hit her again and again.
Then the built up pressure was unleashed and Black screamed; her body frozen as her back arched in euphoria. The intense pleasure ripped through her, her mind a delicious blank. And just as suddenly as it occurred, Black's body shuddered back into the water, the tingling sensations still racking her body. Gekikara slowly drew out her fingers, teasing out a gentle whine from Black's lips. She watched as Black's body shivered from the aftermath, her pants light and quick. As she came back down from her high, Black realized the temperature of the bath had changed.
"I'm… cold." Black breathed.
Gekikara looked at her, shocked at first as if she too had just realized this. Then, out of the blue, she laughed. Even this made Black smile, it was quite funny.
"Let's get out." Gekikara returned.
With a nod, Black was about to step out of the tub when suddenly she was literally swept of her feet. And before she could say anything, Gekikara carried Black out of the tub and rushed them to the bedroom, wet and all.
A gasp escaped out of Black when Gekikara suddenly threw her onto the bed, the mattress under her quickly becoming wet from her hair and body. Before she even had time to inhale, Gekikara was hovering over her, looking down at Black's rare flustered self. Black thought Gekikara was going to devour her, but from her eyes, they reflected something else. They glistened with care, affection, and maybe even love.
This made Black's chest hurt, her heart beating at an impossible speed. However, Black couldn't tear her eyes away, once again captured by Gekikara's intense gaze. Their breathing slowed, synchronized, as one. It was as if this was their moment, only they existed. Black knew only Gekikara could make her feel like this, and this made her chest hurt even more. Slowly, Gekikara brought up her hand, cupping Black's drying cheek. Instinctively, Black moved into Gekikara's hand, feeling her coarse fingers against her delicate skin. This was the first time she truly felt Gekikara's warmth, not camouflaged with the warm bathwater, which seemed to radiate off her hand and warm her soul.
"I missed you." Gekikara whispered down at her.
Black could only nod, words failing her. Instead, she just let actions take over. She flipped Gekikara over, roles reversed. Black stared down at Gekikara, seeing her eyes that reflected all those feelings, now with surprise added among the mix of emotions. However, it was brief, and it was soon replaced by a seductive glint. Gekikara smirked. A smirk that made Black's heart softly flutter. Black bit her lip, her lust growing by the second. Yet, this seemed to have an effect on Gekikara, whose eyes darkened. Then, without any restraint, she grabbed the back of Black's neck, and pulled her down.
Their lips mashed together in frenzy, the kiss deepening within seconds. Their tongues fought for dominance, the breaths hot against each other. Black managed to capture Gekikara' tongue within her lips, and suck teasingly while Gekikara exhaled deeply with desire. Then, they continued to kiss, losing themselves in each other's taste. However, Black felt Gekikara's wetness on her thigh, and when she slightly pushed down, Gekikara's hips jumped. Knowing how to proceed, Black broke the kiss, staring down once again at Gekikara, whose chest rose up and down heavily, catching her breath. Uncontrolled, a tiny smile appeared on Black's lips, and she dragged herself down Gekikara's body, her nipples brushing against Gekikara's, causing a small moan to emit from the woman under her. It was obvious from Gekikara's misted look that she needed this. However, Black wasn't going to be that kind.
Gekikara hissed as Black's fingernails left pink trails down her abdomen. Then she gasped when Black tightly grasped her thighs, roughly pulling them apart to reveal her glistening flower. Though she truly yearned for Black to please her, Gekikara knew Black wouldn't relent so easily. She always teased Gekikara. A soft whimper escaped from Gekikara's lips as Black suddenly blew on her burning core, the sensation sending tingles through her body. Gekikara hummed with impatience as Black then massaged her thighs, slowly coming closer and closer to her lower lips. However, she stopped. Gekikara clenched the mattress cover, her patience growing thin. Though from Black's mischievous gaze, she wasn't ready to surrender. Suddenly, with one sweep of Black's tongue, Gekikara's mental barrier broke. Gekikara couldn't do it anymore.
"Please." she begged.
And with another small smile of victory, Black finally returned the favor.
A groan escaped Gekikara's lips as Black's lips latched onto Gekikara's protruding clit. She couldn't hold the moans anymore, freely voicing her delight as Black continued to suck and lick, giving her pleasure she had not felt for years. Gekikara knew she was dripping with need, and not water. She couldn't help herself, giving herself fully to Black's movements, letting her fulfill all her urges. All of a sudden, replacing Black's tongue, a finger was inserted. Gekikara released a loud moan, Black's finger finding places only Black could, making the sensation grow with each stroke. Then, another finger was added, and Gekikara was turning into a thrashing mess.
Gekikara's hands suddenly grasped Black's hair, unable to contain her pleasure. Black noticed the gesture and glanced upwards. The sight shocked her, momentarily stopping her movements. It was like seeing Gekikara when Black made love to her for the first time. The same red cheeks, the same open mouth gasping, and the half-lidded eyes of pure desire. It was enough to make Black yearn for more.
Out of the blue, Gekikara whined, her hips moving in a circular motion, pleading Black to continue. And that she did, but instead of continuing to lick Gekikara's clit, Black dotted kisses up Gekikara's lean body, tenderly savoring the touch, while still moving her fingers in and out. This made Gekikara squirm even more, the feeling of Black's warm kisses making her insides jostle with joy.
As Black ascending upwards, she felt Gekikara's leg slip between her own. Suddenly she gasped as she felt Gekikara's thigh press against her wet core. Even through Black's ministrations, she could also feel Black's needs, and with as much energy she could muster, she pushed and stroked Black. This made her moan, the friction causing the pressure to quickly build inside Black again.
However she was determined to please Gekikara. So, without warning, she added another finger, making a total of three. Gekikara cried out as she felt the fullness of below, Black's fingers pumping into her with purpose. It was all too much, especially with Black riding her leg furiously, her groaning out her longing for release.
Then, when Black suddenly cried out, "Geki-kara, c-come with… me!" and it was all over.
Gekikara cried out as the dam broke inside her, her body frozen as her inner walls clenched down on Black's now unmoving fingers. Electricity jolted through her as the immense orgasm rippled through her body. Her mouth opened in a silent screech of ecstasy, her fists tearing through the mattress cover without her notice. Then, just as if time had started again, Gekikara fell back onto the mattress, her hands releasing the torn material, her chest heaving as her body convulsed with sensational shudders. Suddenly, she heard Black also cry out and her leg suddenly became wetter than before. Gekikara knew that Black must have come again. She smiled, feeling the afterglow shine through her, letting a small whimper as Black slowly pulled out her fingers. Gekikara felt Black collapse next to her, her head against her shoulder, her warm breath against her neck. At this moment, Gekikara's heart swelled with happiness. Even if she was ridiculously exhausted, Gekikara gently stroked Black's back, feeling the tender skin underneath her palm. A few moments of quiet passed, and Gekikara finally uttered her most inner thought.
"I love you."
Black froze as soon as she heard those words. And she knew Gekikara felt her body stiffen, but she did not voice any regret. However, Black couldn't say it back.
Not now at least. Too much had happened in one day and Black needed time to grieve. Nothing would replace her son; filling that empty void in part of her heart. And Black knew she never will. But perhaps Gekikara could help her to at least bare the pain of losing him, filling the rest of Black's heart.
She may not be able to say it now, but Black knew there was a chance she would reciprocate the love properly one day, without the fear of abandonment and resentment. So, Black closed her eyes, her energy depleted, giving herself up voluntarily to sleep for the first time in a long while. Then, she replied in the only way she could.
"Hold me." she gently whispered, feeling Gekikara's warmth surround her like a veil.
And never let go.