note: this is for emily. only emily. i was tempted to just email it to her and not even post it. ignore how much it sucks. gossip girl isnt my forte. love the show, but this can't be much good. happy birthday, emily. hope you had a wonderful day(: i had the stomach flu... PS, like the title?

Back to Home

She walked through the airport with the same confidence that she had been poised with before she left. Shoulders back, coat perfectly framing her, not a hair out of place, ladies and gentleman, Serena van der Woodsen was officially back. Summer was good for her, she had new opportunities, a glorious tan that complimented her well, and plenty of time to think, meaning she knew exactly what it was she had to do.

Her phone went off and she looked at the latest Blast that came to inform everyone she was back. The warning had been sent out. Across town he opened the phone and looked at it, closing his eyes. This should have no affect on him, they barely talked, yet he was relieved to hear she was back in town, back where she belonged. He didn't know where he went, he didn't really care, all that mattered was she was here now.

"What's the latest?"

"Nothing," Nate shrugged it off.

Chuck rose his eyebrows. "News about Blair, I presume?"

"No, Serena, actually," he held up the phone a bit. "She's back."

"Mm. Good."

He grimaced. He felt a bit of remorse for his best-friend, so in love with a girl who adored him. That would only seem like a problem to a man like Chuck Bass.

"Sorry, Man..."

"Nathaniel, I have nothing short of what I've always wanted," he took a sip of his drink, straight faced. "I have no disappointment."

She rushed, finding her limo. For once, she was back and just like all those years ago she knew exactly what – or who – she was here for. She was going to see him. All this time she had been trying to decide which one of them to choose, but in the end she knew. This entire time she'd known all along who was perfect for her, she was just Serena. She couldn't admit it.

"Actually I don't want to go home," she spoke as her driver began to turn into the usual route. "I need to see someone."

And she didn't mean Blair Waldorf.

"Yes, Ms. Van der Woodsen?"

And that's how she ended up outside his room, checking her hair in the mirror they happened to have in an elevator – so middle-class of her, she knew.

She raised her hand.

Knocked.

Waited.

Began to walk away.

"Serena?"

She turned at the deep voice. "Chuck, hey," she let her bright smile show. "Is Nate there?"

"Yeah, come in," he opened the door just a tad wider. "If Blair is waiting in a limo or something outside you can tell her it's quite immature of her. I thought we came to an understanding-"

"Blair's not here, Chuck," she smiled sympathetically. He'd received that smile too many times before.

"With Louis?"

"Yeah, they're settling details and all, it's really coming along!"

"Good, good," a darkness came across not only his eyes, but his entire expression. "She deserves the best."

"Serena?"

She turned, facing the boy she'd been trying to see. "Nate!"

"Hey," he said surprised. "I didn't know you were back, what are you doing here?"

They both knew it was a lie, he was just as interested in gossip blasts as she would, but neither one felt like arguing at this point.

"Yeah, getting away was nice, but summer's over and this is home, so, here I am," she motioned to the room. She swallowed, gulped, she had to say it before she chickened out. "Can I talk to you alone, maybe?"

Chuck nodded, walking out, shutting the door behind him.

"You alright?" he asked.

"I practiced this speech all the way here, the entire flight, actually… but I'm forgetting all the words now," she fumbled with her fingers yet she still looked confident. She still looked brilliant. She still looked like the Serena he thought was breathtaking. "I left trying to run away from my problems again, but coming back I realized I left and found myself out a little more, cheesy as it sounds, and… I choose you."

He looked at her and blinked. "Serena, that was months ago…"

"I know, but-"

"No buts, you don't get to do that," he shook his head. "Dan and I… that's not fair."

"Look, I don't want you to forgive me, I just thought you should know," she told him softly, going up and kissing his cheek. "I needed you to know, but I understand that you don't feel the same." She turned, walking away, letting him watch, letting him say nothing. "Goodbye, Nate."

She seemed strong. It seemed like it was okay, like she was expecting it even, but as soon as she was home – her real home – she slumped down. Her phone was out, number was dialed, but she should've known better. Voicemails were so in right now.

"Hey, B," she sighed, looking at the floor. "I know you're probably busy with your Prince, but I could really use a friend right now… Call me back."

Half hour later, half hour of dark thoughts later, she got a text.

Sorry. Royal meetings=royal pain in the ass. You okay, S?

She had such a sadness in her eyes that her friend would break if seen.

I think Nate just walked away from me…

Blair's heart dropped. She knew perfectly well how that felt, her prince walking away from her. Love really did fuck you over, didn't it? But Nate could not possibly hurt people the way Chuck Bass did.

"Are you really gonna let her walk away from you?" he asked in his deep voice.

Nate shrugged.

Insert sip of alcohol here.

"She screwed me over so many times, why should I let her in?"

Charles shrugged this time. His voice was raspy yet he just didn't care. "Take it from someone who cared about a girl very much… It hurts more letting them get their way than it does to lose them forever."

He walked away. It didn't matter if Blair wasn't officially married yet, he'd already lost her forever. Except there was a pregnancy test he didn't know about. A pregnancy test that she still was scared to death about. She didn't want to crawl back to him again.

He left with Nate knowing exactly what it was he had to do. He had to go back to her with his tails between his legs.

Her expression when she opened the door was priceless.

Her expression after he unexpectedly leant down to kiss her was shocked.

"I forgive you, Serena," he whispered, care in his voice. Care for the beautiful blonde in front of him.

"But you said-"

"Forget about it," he stopped her. "Forget about everything. I don't care, as long as it's me."

"Nate, I don't understand."

"I let you get your way too many times before, I was mad because you wouldn't chose, so if I finally have you, I want to try. I want to be with you, Serena."

"But I put you through so much-"

"It doesn't matter," he stressed. "I'm here now. No more problems, no Dan, no Jenny, no Humphrey, just us. Me and you again, like it was in the beginning."

"The beginning, before all of this," she tested the words, smiling. "I like that."

"Me too," he grinned. "That's where we are right now, just the beginning."

"But it's different this time," she promised. "We're gonna make it to the end."