Thunderstorms and Tulips
The thunder rumbled loudly outside Tonks' bedroom window at number 12 Grimmauld's Place. The weather seemed to reflect her conflicting feelings. She wasn't exactly sure how she felt anymore.
She was staying at Grimmauld's Place to keep Sirius company. He seemed to need lots of attention to keep out of trouble. Or so Tonks had thought that's why she was here.
A huge thunderclap was heard after a blinding bolt of lightening.
Tonks lay on her bed wondering about why she really stayed at Grimmauld's Place. Tonks couldn't help but feel it was for Remus Lupin.
Tonks stomach did an odd twist when she thought about him. It was only ever since she joined the Order she realized that she liked Remus. Remus had beautiful eyes, so amber and they glistened wonderfully when he gave one of his rare smiles.
Remus was so sweet, even if he did call her Nymphadora on occasion. Remus helped make a long afternoon go by quickly. Whenever Sirius and Remus get into talking about their school days, the hours seem to fly by when hearing about the crazy antics they pulled in their youth.
In Tonks opinion it seemed to be that whenever the full moon comes around, she was getting increasingly nervous. Remus went away for his changes even if he takes his Wolfsbane Potion. He never fully trusts his werewolf-self, so he goes somewhere safe. Even with constant reassurance, Tonks worries that it will be the night Lord Voldemort finds him and kills him.
Every time that he comes back to Grimmauld's Place Tonks acts like Remus's mother. Fussing over him and asking if he noticed anything out of the ordinary, were there signs of Voldemort anywhere. After a while Remus told Tonks sweetly that he was fine and that he hadn't noticed anything and that he would tell Tonks if he did, so stop asking so frequently.
Tonks began to shiver as the rain pounded on the roof and windows.
As she just lay on her side she thought about all the things she liked about Remus. He was so handsome with his light brown hair flecked with gray. Remus had those amber eyes that looked beautiful in every way. She loved the way his lips curl slowly before he really smiles. His hands… Tonks loved his hands more than anything. They look so strong. They look like they'd be rough to the touch because of some of his scars. Some days Tonks just dreamt about his hands caressing her.
Tonks remembered one day when she was sitting in the kitchen with just Remus. Tonks and Remus were in deep conversation about chocolate for some reason. Tonks noticed that his hands were very close to hers and all she kept thinking about was that she wanted to touch them, hold them in hers. Feel all the pain that Remus went through and help get rid of all that internal suffering.
When Remus noticed that Tonks hadn't spoken in a while, he looked at her and asked what was wrong, Tonks didn't answer she just got up and left the table looking upset. Remus was completely bewildered and tried to find out if he had said something offensive. Tonks wasn't upset at Remus, she was upset that she would never be able to be with Remus the way she wanted.
Tonks was Sirius's little cousin and probably always would be to Remus. He would never see her any other way.
Another thunderclap and Tonks realized she could no longer lie there and suffer in silence. She needed to do something.
Tonks slowly climbed out of bed so not to trip on anything. She slowly walked down to the door at the end of the hallway. Tonks stood outside the door for a second wondering what to do. Should she knock? Should she just enter?
She decided just to knock while entering. Hearing nothing in response to her knocking she called out quietly, "Remus?"
Tonks then heard slight rustling and a dim lamp was turned on. What appeared out of the darkness was a big bed. Under the covers of the huge bed Remus was sitting up looking at Tonks with mild surprise.
"What's wrong?" Remus asked with his head still on the lamp switch.
"I couldn't sleep…" Tonks wasn't able to say her real intent as to why she really was in his room, "It's because of this storm."
As if to emphasize Tonks' point a bolt of lightening could be seen through the thick curtains. It was then followed by an enormous crash of thunder.
Remus just nodded and looked at Tonks, "So… do you want to talk?"
"Sure." Tonks stepped a little more into the room.
Remus moved to make more room for Tonks on the bed. Tonks took the invitation with her heart beating slightly faster. She got under the blankets that were still warm from Remus lying there.
"What do you want to talk about?" Remus looked at Tonks with half his face hidden in shadow.
Tonks couldn't seem to find anything to talk about. So she lay on her back, she could smell Remus on the blankets and pillows.
"What's wrong?" Remus asked again, "You look preoccupied."
"I don't really know. I'm worried about… the garden." Tonks blurted out. This was the second time she avoided her real intentions for why she was in the room. Was she becoming weak, no longer bold enough to say thing on her mind?
"Your garden?" Remus asked cocking his eyebrow at Tonks.
"Yes, I'm very worried about the tulips." Tonks said defensively as she sat up, "They can't survive this much hard rain."
"I think your tulips are fine." Remus shook his head slightly.
"You think? Tulips are my favorite." Tonks was now sitting up with knees pulled up almost to her chest. She almost needed to tell Remus how she felt about him.
Suddenly, there was the loudest thunderclap that made Tonks jump. She jumped so badly that her head snapped back and smacked her head on the headboard.
"Are you okay 'Dora?" Remus asked as he pulled her into a comforting hug, "That sounded like it hurt."
Tonks, who was still seeing stars, nodded and realized that was a mistake. It took her a few seconds to realize that her head was on Remus's chest. Her breathing seemed to quicken.
"Tonks, there is something I've been meaning to tell you." Remus said as she started to look at his face. He gently placed his hands on her neck and kissed her on the lips. Tonks was pleasantly surprised and deepened the kiss. She noticed the way that Remus's hands were rough against the back of her neck and her shoulder, which was exposed because she was wearing a tank top. Tonks thought that his hands felt really good against her skin.
After they stopped kissing Tonks asked, "What did you want to tell me?"
Remus seemed surprised that she didn't know, but he smiled and said, "I like your two lips too."