A/N: I had this idea for a twist to what could have happened after Veronica came back from her FBI Internship. It's just going to be a short little two chapter story. I wanted to write a bit of a twist to what is normally written about, though not sure it came out as much of a twist as I'd originally intended. I still liked it though.
There are also lyrics included from Matt Nathanson's duet with Sugarland called Run, which was a special request from Longingexpectantheart. Thanks for the suggestion!
I'd love to get comments to let me know what people think about it. I'll put the next chapter up in a couple days.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Rob Thomas, I just like to borrow them for my stories.
Chapter 1
As she sat on the airplane staring out the window at darkness, she couldn't help but wonder how many times she'd actually lied to him. ….this is something I'm never getting past. She had probably gotten over that in less that two weeks, but then he asked her if it was okay if he asked Parker out ….of course. Thank you for asking. Then came the sex tape and beating up Piz …you're out of my life forever. Almost the very last thing she had said to him wasn't entirely a lie ….it's a nice gesture, but it's gonna take some time this time. But it probably didn't take much more than him attacking Gory for her, only seconds later, to get over it, even if she hadn't wanted to admit it at the time. She wasn't sure if he'd intentionally avoided her the remaining weeks of the term or if it was just coincidental, but she hadn't seen him since he walked out of the cafeteria with Gory's blood on his shirt. Once the term was over, she had left for Virginia and even though she was physically away from California, her mind kept drifting back to Neptune and wondering what he was doing. Twelve long weeks of wondering and wanting. Wanting so badly to just pick up her phone and call him, but she could never seem to do it. Wanting to feel his lips on hers, his hands on her body, her hands on his body. Wanting to hear his voice whisper in her ear, feel his breath on her face, smell the scent that was only him. Wanting to feel the warmth of his body, his teeth nipping at her skin, his fingers tangling in her hair. She told herself at first it was just part of being homesick. She'd missed her Dad, Wallace and Mac too, so she wasn't surprised that she'd think about other people she'd left behind. But the more time that went on and the more the desire for him grew, she knew it wasn't just being homesick. She had known with the internship though, that she couldn't get distracted, had to try to stay as focused as she could, so she did, at least as best as she could. All alone at night in her meager apartment that the internship had provided for her, she'd think of him, dream about him. Her mind frequently drifted back to when they'd first gotten back together after he'd broken it off before winter break. The night he'd opened the door to his suite and they didn't say any words, but the looks they exchanged said a thousand …I miss you …I need you …I can't live without you… please take me back… I love you. She knew that was why she couldn't just call. Why she had to see him in person. She could never just say the words over the phone. She wanted to show him how much she needed him. …nothing else matters …I was wrong …I'm so sorry ….I love you. She wasn't sure what she'd find when she returned, but she wasn't ready to give up on him …give up on them …not now …not ever. Twelve weeks away had made that glaringly clear to her.
She'd convinced herself that calling ahead may have been the logical thing to do, but not the romantic sweep you away gesture she wanted. And for her and Logan, it had always been grandiose gestures. She'd gotten in late, woken up and had breakfast with her dad, then headed over to the Grand. As she walked through the lobby, her nerves tingled with anticipation. She had butterflies in her stomach and couldn't wait to see those adoring hazel brown eyes and feel his lips crush into hers. "Veronica?" A perky female voice called out, drawing her attention away from her path to the elevators to the check in desk. Tina smiled and gave her a little wave. Given it was mid-morning on a weekday, there weren't a lot of guests checking in or out and the lobby was fairly deserted. Veronica smiled back and figured it would only be polite to stop by and say hello. Tina had helped her with the Rory Finch case and continuing to have an ally at the hotel couldn't hurt.
"What brings you to the Grand today?" Tina asked with her always friendly smile as Veronica neared the counter.
"I was coming to see Logan," Veronica said, then thought maybe she should ask if Tina knew whether he was upstairs before she took the long ride up in the 'space elevator'.
Tina's smile fell and she had an expression that was a cross between confusion and sympathy. "Logan doesn't live here anymore. He moved out about a month ago."
"Oh," Veronica could feel the sinking disappointment course through her body, but tried not to let it show. "I was in Virginia all summer and just got back yesterday." …and apparently there's no cell phone service there for me to know this.
Tina nodded and gave her a gentle smile. "I can give you his forwarding address if you'd like." She spun around toward the back office before Veronica could protest and appeared a minute later with a piece of paper and an envelope.
"I'm sorry," Tina said making Veronica's heart sink even farther wondering what she was going to say now. "I'd forgotten he left this for you." She handed her the envelope and the paper and gave her another small smile. "Have a great day."
Veronica nodded and swallowed hard, as she reached out with a slightly unsteady hand to take both things from Tina and quickly turned to head back out to her car. She wouldn't let herself look at the paper while she was walking. She wanted to believe he'd just moved someplace else in Neptune, but she had a sinking feeling that wasn't going to be the case, but she tried to believe the lie at least until she unlocked the door to her Saturn and climbed inside. She took a deep breath and looked at the paper. Written in Tina's hand writing was the new address… Los Angeles. ….he'd left the Grand ….he'd left Neptune… he'd left Hearst ….he'd left her. She sucked in a shaky breath as she felt her chest tighten and tears start to sting her eyes. At least there wasn't a music box this time. She sat the paper with the address down on the passenger seat and looked at the envelope. Veronica Mars was neatly written across the front of the envelope in his handwriting. He'd always had fairly nice penmanship. She let a little sob escape, then wiped her eyes and carefully opened the envelope.
Veronica,
I'm not sure if you'll ever read this, but I wanted to leave a note for you if you ever did come to find me here not knowing I was gone. I didn't want to be just another person who left you, though I suppose now maybe I am. I wanted you to know that you were right, we tried to be friends and it didn't work. I loved you too much to just be friends and I couldn't stand the thought of disappointing you again so I decided it was better to put some distance between us. I know you were lying when you said you'd accepted my apology to get me to leave that day at Hearst, but I hope some day you really can forgive me. I really did mean what I said last year. I'll always be there for you if you need anything. All you have to do is call. No matter how many years or where our lives take us, I'd always be willing to move heaven and earth if I you need me.
Yours Always,
Logan
The note fell to her lap as she rested her arms on the steering wheel and sobbed.
She debated what to do when she was finally able to drive home. A part of her wanted to drive to LA to see him, but another part had been fixated on the one word in the letter that hurt more than anything, 'loved'…past tense. She lied to her dad later when he came home and found her in bed, claiming that it was jet lag or exhaustion from the cross-country flight.
She saw Mac the following day. Mac was able to fill her in on a few more details since she'd kept her relationship with Logan intact for the web business they had started, despite what had happened with him and Parker or him and Piz. Mac said that Logan had spent quite a bit of time at the start of the summer with Casey, surfing and clubbing since the South America trip had been cancelled and Dick was spending time with his dad. Casey convinced him to transfer to UCLA and share an apartment with him. Mac didn't really know any of the other specifics beyond that though.
Veronica decided she'd give him the space it seemed he wanted. She'd been gone for nearly two months before he'd left and obviously he hadn't missed her enough to stay or to call before he left. She was sure he likely knew from Mac about the internship and when she'd be back.
Fall term at Hearst had been pretty uneventful. No murdered Deans, no major scandals, no violet attacks on co-eds or faculty. Veronica still took on a few small cases when she was asked for help. Word of her sleuthing had spread by word of mouth from people she'd helped the prior year and so she'd still get the occasional plea for help from random strangers. Her sex-tape had also been mostly forgotten as other more explicit sex-tapes had been leaked. She took great pleasure in helping one unsuspecting girl track down and get restitution against the guy who had filmed her without her consent. It was no surprise that neither Piz nor Parker had returned to Hearst. She'd broken up with Piz shortly after the cafeteria incident. She'd heard through Wallace that Piz had decided to just stay out in New York after his internship was over and transferred to a college there. Parker had also opted for an East Coast school after spending a difficult summer with her parents in Colorado and no desire to return to Neptune.
Mac had convinced Veronica to move into the dorms with her since she'd lost Parker as her roommate. Keith had taken on several high paying cases while she was in Virginia and said they could afford it if she'd like to live on campus this year. The only mild annoyance that Veronica had been dealing with all term had been Dick. Somehow he and Mac had ended up in a class together, and then ended up being partners on a project for the class, so it seemed she was constantly running into the two of them working together either in the cafeteria, library or their dorm room. She really didn't want the constant reminder of Logan around. She couldn't bear to bring herself to ask how he was doing for fear of what she'd hear and how it would likely tear her apart. Even though she had decided to give him his space, that didn't mean her feelings for him had changed or that she didn't still desperately want him back. Though if anyone were to ask, she would say she was fine and that it was great for him that he was going to UCLA.
She was sitting at a table in the cafeteria between classes eating lunch with Mac one day toward the end of the term when Dick spotted them and brought his own tray and sat down. "Hey Mackie and Ronnie," he said cheerily as he sat down. He'd taken a few bites of his burrito before speaking again. "Oh Mackie, I talked to Logan last night. He said he met a friend in one of his classes and they started talking about your Grady My Ass site, and she wanted to see if you could build a website for her too." Mac had given Veronica a curious look, and Veronica realized Mac must have noticed her interest perk up when Logan's name was mentioned. It seemed she had caught her doing that on more than one occasion but never called her on it. She quickly focused back on her salad and didn't look up again as they continued to talk. Mac had said she'd give Logan a call to get the contact information and see what the girl wanted her to build so she could give her a quote on how much it would cost. Veronica excused herself, saying she needed to finish up an assignment before her next class and left the two of them at the table. She could hear them joke as she walked off that it was likely some escort or online sex site.
The term was finally ending and Mac had convinced her and Wallace to go to an end-of-the-term party that the Pi Sig's were having at the end of finals week before most of the student body would be heading home for Christmas break. Veronica tried to get herself out of going, but Wallace insisted she go so if he ended up hooking up with any girls, that Mac wouldn't be left all alone. He'd been crushing over a Theta Beta that was in his sociology class this term and was sure she seemed interested in him as well and he'd heard she was going to be at the party. Veronica had reluctantly agreed to go after several days of guilt trips and begging by both Mac and Wallace.
As expected, shortly after they got there, Wallace had spotted his mark, and left the two ladies to go woo her. What Veronica hadn't expected was Dick and Mac getting into a massive debate over a recently released video game and the two of them asking her if she'd be okay on her own for a little while so they could go up to his room so Mac could prove to him, or he could prove to her, that the other person was completely wrong. She certainly didn't want to go up and watch them argue and play the game, so said she'd be fine on her own for a little while.
She'd been out in the back yard where a live band was playing when she'd been abandoned by Mac and Dick. She decided she'd wander back into the house where she thought she'd spotted a girl from her criminology class that she would sometimes chat with. She didn't see her in the first room she'd walked through so she continued back toward the next. She froze in her tracks and felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room as she saw him over in a corner talking to a couple of girls who had their backs toward her. Logan. He hadn't noticed her yet, and she shifted toward the side of the room for a moment to just watch him before deciding what she should do. She studied his expression for a few moments then noticed that Casey was standing next to him, and was telling some story that seemed to have the attention of both girls. Logan was smiling and nodding along with Casey, but it wasn't one of his genuinely happy smiles. Veronica's heart ached realizing it was closer to one of his expressions he would wear when he had to put on a show for his parents benefit. Her pulse was racing as he was the last person in the world that she'd expected to run into tonight. All those feelings she'd tried to push away during the last three months came flooding back at her like a tidal wave after an earthquake at sea. She missed him so much that it was overwhelming.
She was still standing there staring at him when a commotion behind her had caused most of the eyes in the room to turn in her direction, and there she stood trapped in his gaze. She wasn't exactly even sure what expression might have been on her face, but she saw a gentle smile cross his and then she felt her lips turn up in a small smile as well. Casey must have noticed Logan was looking at something besides the source of the commotion and quickly spotted her too. She was mostly focused on Logan, but could see Casey out of the corner of her eye say something to the girls, and then he started moving toward her.
"Veronica!" Casey exclaimed as he pulled her into a gigantic hug. She hugged him back and the silent connection she'd had only a moment before with Logan seemed to vanish. She looked back in his direction, and he was looking at the girls again and not at her.
Veronica half way listened to Casey ask her how she'd been and she gave him some answer that seemed sufficient since he continued to smile and nod, but her mind was trying to come up with a plan. She glanced back over at where Logan had been and noticed he was no longer in the corner and the girls had moved on to a different group of guys to talk to. She felt a tinge of panic spread through her that he'd left again and she hadn't even had a chance to talk to him. She scanned around the room and as her eyes landed back on Casey, she saw Logan walk up next to him and nudged him as he handed him a beer.
"Hi Veronica," he said with an almost shy smile on his face.
She smiled back and was able to get a quick hi out before she nervously laughed.
"Are you here all by yourself?" Logan asked, suddenly scanning the room, apparently looking for other familiar faces. She quickly explained how she had been with Wallace and Mac and how they had both temporarily ditched her.
Logan's expression became either annoyed or suspicious. She couldn't quite tell which it was. "Mac didn't mention you guys were coming."
She wasn't sure what to make of that and nervously bit her lip. Of all the reunion scenarios she'd fantasized about, standing in the middle of a Pi Sig party had never been one she'd imagined. Not exactly the big romantic gesture she had envisioned on the way home from Virginia. And his possible annoyance that she was there was not what she had expected either.
Something about her expression must have worried Logan, and he gave her a small smile again. "Hey it was nice to see you." He turned to Casey, "I'm actually going to head home. I'll catch you in the morning for surfing if you don't make it back tonight."
"Come on man," Casey whined slightly. "We practically just got here and you said you'd hang out tonight."
"You can keep Veronica company until Mac and Wallace return," he said with a quick smile at Veronica, then turned and headed back toward the front of the house.
Veronica stood in place for a few seconds watching him slowly fight his way through the crowd of people to leave. She quickly said she was sorry to Casey and then started to follow Logan out. She thought she heard Casey say no problem and that it was nice to see her as she worked her way through the party to catch up with Logan.
Fighting her way through the crowd was almost as challenging as going through an obstacle course, but she had finally made it through the house and was out the front door and luckily could still see him walking up the sidewalk. She practically jogged after him for fear that he'd get into his car and drive off before she reached him. He must have heard her footsteps behind him and stopped when she had gotten closer. He looked over his shoulder and then turned back toward her.
"You should go back to the party Veronica," he said in a neutral tone.
She shook her head and kept walking so she could catch up to him. Damn if she was going to let him slip away when she'd missed him for months and now they were finally in the same place again.
"I wanted to talk to you." She said a bit more breathlessly than she'd intended, but she was slightly out of breath from trying not to lose him.
"And I wanted to just go home," he sighed. "Look, you shouldn't be out walking alone so why don't you just go back to the party while I can still watch to make sure you make it back safely."
"I've got Mr. Sparky," she said with a sly smile while she patted her bag, "I'll be fine."
He gave her a slightly frustrated look and shook his head. "Still stubborn as a mule I see." She gave him a little smile, and he started walking again. She scanned the street to try to figure out where his car was and how much time she might have until he reached his destination and she might loose him, but there weren't many cars on the street they were walking next to. She knew a lot of the faculty lived in the part of campus they were headed toward and so she was puzzled as to where he was going and why he would have parked this far from the party.
"Where's your car?" She finally asked not quite sure she was ready to jump into anything deeper yet.
He turned and gave her a puzzled look. "At my house," he said with a look of confusion on his face. Then he stopped again and sighed. "Did Mac not tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"I bought a house near campus and I'm starting back at Hearst next term." He blew out a quick breath, "I suppose she didn't want to be the bearer of bad news."
It took Veronica a second to process that. "I don't think that's bad news. I'm glad you're coming back."
He gave her a skeptical look and started walking again.
"Why not a house at the beach?" She asked as they walked a little farther. She was genuinely surprised by his real estate choice.
She watched him shrug before he answered. He turned his head to the side as he gave her his answer. "I didn't want to deal with commuting across town to campus and I figured living on the beach would be too distracting. Plus when I graduate I can either lease out the house or sell it. Property this close to campus is always a pretty good investment."
She must have had a surprised expression on her face because he chuckled slightly and then looked forward again.
They continued to walk in silence and she started counting her footsteps in her head. One, two, three… ten. "Did you flee the party because I was there?" she asked in what came out a much more insecure voice than she intended. She'd been thinking it the entire walk from the party and finally just blurted it out.
He sighed again. "Not entirely." At least he was trying to be honest. "I had a tough final yesterday and should have just stayed up in LA today, but Casey and Dick convinced me to come down for the party. So I really am pretty exhausted and wasn't really in the mood for mingling once I got there. Seeing you there just added some extra awkwardness given the last time we spoke we weren't on very good terms."
"Oh," was all she could say and they continued to walk in silence for a bit more. She finally worked up the courage to speak again. "I got your letter."
He stopped walking, though just stared straight ahead and didn't say anything at first. He finally nodded and started to walk again.
They walked another half a block and then he stopped. "Are we done talking now, or are you going to follow me inside?"
She gave him what she hoped was a playful look, "You need to work on your social skills Echolls, that wasn't a very polite way to invite a lady into your house." Obviously from the way he practically fled from her at the party, she realized her hope that they'd instantly fall back into each others arms was way off the mark, but she also wasn't ready to give up.
He smirked back at her. "Would you like to come in Veronica?" He said in a sarcastic tone as he held his arm out in a grand flourish motioning toward the walkway that lead up to the house. Finally a bit of the Logan she knew and loved was resurfacing.
She smiled and nodded and walked in front of him to the house. She stood to the side of the door so he could get out his key and open the door. The house was a Craftsman style that was common in this part of campus, but appeared to be much larger than some of the surrounding houses and recently remodeled. He opened the door and let her walk in first, then closed the door behind her.
They were greeted by a young woman coming down the stairs. She was about the same age as they were, maybe a little older and had wavy auburn hair. She obviously was dressed for going out, looking much more sophisticated in her little black dress than Veronica looked in her sweater and jeans. She gave Logan a puzzled look, and then looked at Veronica for a moment.
"You're not already bringing strays home are you?" She asked with a mischievous grin. "I hope this one is at least house broken."
Veronica smiled back and then replied, "Ah she must have met Dick."
The woman laughed and smiled at Logan, "I like her, she's spunky." Her smile turned to a curious expression and she looked more intently at Logan. "What are you doing back so early? I didn't expect to see you before I left."
"I wasn't really in the mood to stick around the party." Logan replied as he tossed his keys on a small table near the door. "Bridget this is Veronica, Veronica this is Bridget." He gave Bridget a teasing grin, "Bridget came with the house."
"True story," Bridget replied after she laughed for a moment. "You really should have read the fine print before you signed that contract buddy."
Bridget looked around the downstairs area, "What happened to Casey? I thought he promised me the most mind-blowing three-way with you two that I'd ever have."
Logan laughed and Veronica looked at her a bit shocked. "Last I saw him he was trying to convince a couple Theta Beta's that he'd starred in some movie with Lindsey Lohan and was a famous actor."
Bridget laughed. "Well maybe he'll get that three-way after all." She narrowed her eyes slightly and looked pointedly at Logan, pointing her finger at him as well. "But tell him if I come home to find him asleep in my bed again I'm going to find a taser and he won't like the body part I choose to wake him up with."
Veronica let out a small laugh while Logan cringed. "I'll be sure he gets the message," Logan replied shaking his head slightly.
"I can loan you one if you need it," Veronica added pulling her taser out of her bag and giving it a quick squeeze.
"Oh she's a feisty one Logan!" Bridget smiled at the two of them for another moment. "Okay kids, I'm off for the night. Hitting the clubs with the girls." She narrowed her eyes at Logan again and added with a sly smile, "And stay out of my gin and tonic if you know what's good for you."
"Hey Veronica," Logan said quickly shooting a defiant look at Bridget, "would you like a gin and tonic?"
"Watch it buddy," Bridget shot back, "You're an awfully sound sleeper and now I know where to get a taser."
Logan lifted his hands in surrender. "Point taken. Have fun and don't break too many hearts tonight."
Bridget gave him a faux pout, "But that's my favorite past time. If I don't have that, what do I have?"
She started to open the door then stopped and turned back to them. "It was nice to meet you Veronica. I like you," She turned toward Logan, "she can have one gin and tonic, but no more. I marked the bottle." She gave them a little wink then disappeared out the front door.
Veronica turned to Logan and gave him a questioning look. He laughed and headed into the kitchen with her following behind. "So would you like a gin and tonic, or a beer or something else?"
Veronica told him a beer would be fine, so he grabbed two out of the fridge and handed one to her. "She's interesting," Veronica said before taking a sip out of her beer.
"Yeah, she's a lot of fun." He saw she was still giving him a questioning expression. "She really did come with the house. Her parents owned the house and when I came to look at it, she asked if there was any possible way for her to stay until she finished up the year. She's a senior here at Hearst. Her parents were relocating back to Harvard and she didn't want to have to find a place for the rest of the year. She was quite convincing, so I agreed to let her stay."
Veronica nodded and then took another sip of her beer. "So what made you decide to come back?" Veronica asked trying to sound nonchalant. She was wishing it was because of her, but given his earlier reaction, she wasn't expecting that to be the reason.
He took a long drink of his beer before answering. He shrugged first, and then spoke. "I sort of hated LA. I made the mistake of going out with Casey and Connor Larkin one night when I first moved up there and ever since then the paparazzi were pretty much a pain in my ass if I tried to go out and do anything. And then of course once it was out that I was attending UCLA, I was constantly hounded by fame seeking girls who only saw me as a big meal ticket. Overall it was not a great experience." He paused for a moment. "When Dick and Mac came to see me over Thanksgiving weekend, they convinced me to transfer back."
Veronica shook her head, "Wait, what? Dick and Mac?"
He gave her a curious look. "Yes, you know, Dick, tall goofy surfer dude and Mac, your roommate, short, spunky, good with computers?"
She rolled her eyes at him, "I know who Mac and Dick are but you made it sound like they came to see you together."
He gave her a curious look and then laughed a little, "You don't know do you? Off your game a bit Nancy Drew?"
"What? Know What?"
"Dick and Mac have been dating."
"No," she shook her head vehemently. "They were working on a project for class together. That's all. They had a class together. They aren't dating."
Logan laughed again, quite a bit harder than she'd heard him laugh all night, and then shook his head. Not that she liked hearing him laugh at her, but hearing his real laugh after all this time sent a warm comforting feeling through her body. "Well if the project was to practice Karma Sutra positions, then from the sounds they made the last time they stayed up at my place in LA, I'd say they were getting an A-plus."
Veronica crinkled up her nose, "Stop!" She shook her head. "Why wouldn't they have told me?"
Logan shrugged and took a drink of his beer. "You've never been the biggest fan of Dick's. Maybe that's why. I guess my coming back to town wasn't the only thing they failed to mention."
At least one of their secrets was something good. Veronica looked at him with a small smile. "How long ago did you buy the house?" she asked walking around the kitchen and looking a bit more closely at the room.
"Shortly after Thanksgiving. Mac found it for me. I came down and looked at it and then bought it. I've been back several times since then moving some things down and getting new furniture for it."
She was getting fidgety and was starting to pace around the room and pick up things from the counter. She wasn't looking at Logan, but she could feel his eyes piercing into her. Logan finally moved over close to her and put his hand lightly on her arm and his voice got a bit quiet, "Why did you try to come see me at the Grand?" She'd wondered if he was going to bring that or the letter up again.
She looked up at him with as much emotion as she could convey in her expression and placed her hand on his cheek. "I really missed you Logan," She looked lovingly into his eyes, and then leaned up toward his lips and felt relief course through her body as he leaned in and their lips met. Suddenly she felt like everything was perfect, that everything was right with the world again. …I miss you …I need you …I can't live without you… please take me back… I love you. Then Logan pulled away and took a step back.
"I'm sorry Veronica." He looked at her with so much pain in his eyes, "We can't… I can't… I shouldn't have done that."
Veronica shook her head, "Why?" She looked pleadingly into his eyes for an explanation. When he kissed her back at first it was as electric and passionate as it had ever been. All of a sudden his comfortable repertoire with Bridget flashed through her mind. "Bridget? Is she more than just your roommate? Is that why?"
Logan gave her a small smile and shook his head. "No," he said softly. "Bridget would be more interested in dating you than me."
"Oh," she wasn't expecting that, but still didn't understand why he'd pulled away from her. "Then why Logan?"
The small smile that was there a moment ago, disappeared, replaced again by a resigned, sad look. "I'm sorry Veronica, but I can't go through another relationship implosion with you, and we both know I'll never be able to live up to who you think I should be, so it's best if we just don't go there again." His voice was a little shaky. "But I meant it when I said I'd always be there for you if you need anything," he paused and emphasized the next three words a bit more, "as a friend. But I can't give you more than that. I'm sorry." He took another step back, and then looked nervously at the floor so he could avoid her gaze. He took a deep breath before he spoke again. "You should call for a cab and wait inside until they come for you and then please go." He took a step toward her and started to raise his hand toward her head, but then he stopped and his arm fell to his side. He gave her an apologetic look, turned and left the room.
She stood their speechless for a moment, putting all her effort into not crying. She felt tears stinging at the edges of her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks. No... He's wrong… I love him for who he is… I don't want him to be anything else.
She stood there for a few minutes until she felt like she'd gotten control of herself and no longer felt like tears were threatening to fall. Her resolve had returned. She slowly walked back toward the front of the house where she'd seen the stairs. As he'd exited the kitchen, that was the direction he'd gone and she had heard his footsteps going up the stairs. She quietly climbed the stairs and looked down the long dark hallway. She could see there was a door open at the end of the hall with a lamp sending some light out into the hall. She quietly walked to the doorway and looked inside. She saw Logan lying on his bed with his legs over the side and his arm over his head.
"It will be hard to see the taxi from up here," he said without moving his arm.
"I don't want to go," she said in what she hoped didn't sound like a completely desperate voice. "At least not until you listen to what I have to say."
She put her bag in the floor of his room and closed the door behind her. She walked over toward the bed and sat down next to him. He moved his arm and sat up.
"Veronica…"
"No Logan, please listen to me. I'm so sorry I made you feel that way. I realized after I left for Virginia how much you mean to me, exactly as you are." She reached out and stroked his cheek. He reached up and placed his hand on top of hers.
"I wish it was that easy Veronica."
"Why can't it be," she leaned in and pressed her lips against his. She felt the tension in his body slowly disappear the longer they kissed. She didn't want to talk any more because she was afraid he'd try to argue again about it being a bad idea. She gently pushed him back down on the bed and moved her body so she was lying on top of him. She let out a satisfied sigh as his arms finally wrapped around her and held her tightly. Please never let me go.
Kissing him felt so right. Communication without words …I miss you …I need you …I can't live without you… please take me back… I love you. This time he didn't stop or try to pull away. The kisses started out slower, full of longing from being apart so long. It had been almost a year since she'd felt his lips on hers and she'd missed it even more than she realized. His hands had moved on from just holding her close to moving up and down her body. Not close enough. She sat up and looked hungrily at him as she pulled her sweater over her head. He looked as if he was about to say something so she leaned down and silenced him with her lips. If he had been thinking of protesting again, the thought must have been quickly wiped from his mind. A moment later he flipped her so she was under him while gracefully removing his own shirt.
No one writes songs about the ones that come easy… Ever since that night she'd always thought about what lyrics would go along with their life. As his hands moved over her body and his eyes looked at her with such passion and desire these lyrics raced through her mind… I wanna watch you undress…I wanna watch you glow… Let your hair down… All around, cover us both…You come in a wave…We crash and we roll… You surround me, pull me, drown me, swallow me whole.
As his mouth moved from her lips to her neck and farther down her body, the lyrics in her head continued to play… You pull me in close… You buckle my knees… I shake and I shiver just to feel you breathe… You trace my lines… Stirring my soul… Shoot sparks at the heart of the world and I watch it explode…
Their reunion may not have started exactly like she'd imagined, but by the time they were panting and sweating and intertwined together in his bed, it was even more than she'd hoped for. She couldn't imagine how she'd survived almost a year without him being with her. She had realized that without him there had been an emptiness she hadn't been able to fill, but now that he was with her again, she finally felt like that missing part of her was complete again. She really did believe he was her soul mate and that without him she could never really be whole. The loving looks and intimate touches warmed parts of her that had so long desired for him to come back to her. As he intertwined their fingers and pinned her to the bed looking lovingly down at her as they moved together, she knew she never wanted him to let her go. There weren't many actual words spoken besides 'I missed you so much' and incomprehensible moans of appreciation and gratitude as they slowly reacquainted each other's body with the other.
As she drifted off to sleep wrapped up in his arms she felt more happy and content than she had felt in a long time, maybe ever. They still had things they needed to talk through, but that could wait. She listened to his heart beat and enjoyed the feel of his chest moving rhythmically beneath her as she finally succumbed to blissful dreams.
She woke up and noticed the room was flooded with early morning light. His bed was extremely comfortable and of course the sheets were exquisitely soft. She reached out next to her and that was when she realized that she was alone. She told herself not to panic and listened for him in his bathroom but after a few minutes realized the entire house was deathly quiet. She thought she could smell coffee though so after waiting a few minutes for him to return she got up and put her clothes back on and headed down to the kitchen. She found Bridget sitting at the kitchen counter flipping through a newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee. She gave Veronica a friendly smile then gestured toward the coffee pot on the counter which had an extra cup sitting by it.
"Did Logan go surfing?" Veronica asked as she poured herself a cup of coffee while Bridget watched her. There was something in her expression before she even asked that had her worried though, and as Bridget shook her head the feeling got worse.
Bridget gave her a sympathetic smile and spoke noticeably more softly than she had the night before. "He said he had some things he needed to go back to LA to take care of."
Veronica tried to keep her composure as she looked down into her cup of coffee. "Oh, did he say when he'd be back?"
Bridget gave her what could only be a look of pity. "He said probably not until the weekend before classes start again."
Veronica suddenly felt like all the air had been sucked from the room and her chest ached from the loss of oxygen, the loss of him. She felt that horrible feeling of panic start to flood through her when Bridget's voice brought her back to the present.
"I told him I could give you a ride home if you need one." Bridget said with a compassionate expression.
Veronica shook her head and croaked out a thank you for the offer and the coffee before she bolted back upstairs for her bag and her shoes and then quickly left before Bridget could say any more or see her completely break down. She felt the tears start to roll down her cheeks before her feet had even left the porch. She put all her effort into trying to remain calm and not just crumpling onto the sidewalk in a mess of sobs and tears. She really didn't want to have any of her professors or anyone else from classes witness that. That thought at least kept her together until she made it back to her dorm room. She fumbled with the keys, but finally got the door unlocked so she could go in. As she opened the door it was bitter sweet to see that Mac wasn't there. She managed to make it to her bed before collapsing and burying her face into her pillow.
He'd rather go back to a city he said he hated than stay here with me.
