It has been seven months since I have seen Johnny and why I am to going him now is beyond the point of reason..When I left Kellermans there was a pack between me and Johnny that we would never loose contact. We love each other ,I think. I mean there was no real sayings of how we felt, but I think that it was an unspoken fact. Surely he did come after me and show the whole damn place that I was his and to show them how good we were together. If he was not proud of me , he would not have come back for me.
That did show me something, but the fact is he didn't get back to me and it is now Spring and I am getting ready to give birth to a baby that I have not seen its father practically since conception..So what is a person to do. That brings me back to the present, I am now going to Kellermans to see if I can find Johnny and tell him that he is going to be a father..I really don't look that pregnant, but I am, they say that the baby weighs about 5 pounds. I thought something was wrong because I was still really small compaired to all the other women, but Daddy says it is becuse of how small I am and the baby was going along with my body. Its a good thing because I don't like the thought of getting fat and I don't think that Johnny would like that as well.
Buzz , it was my minds way of bringing me out of my thoughts as I zummed down the freeway twords the happy or unhappy thoughts that were going to consume the once love of my life. I am not over him or anything , but there is always that chance that he will not believe me or just don't want to accept it..It really has been a while and just for the fact that I am as small as I say that I am may present a whole new problem..He may really think that this baby is not his. I hope that he knows me well enough to know that there is nothing in this world that I would do to ever hurt him. I do love him reguardless of what has occured in the past or in the present as well. My thoughts have had me so consumed that I just figured out that I am about thirty minutes away for Kellermans..I feel knots twisting in my stomach and churning so as I puke from all the excitment..Oh the joys of being pregnant.
There is the sign that says Kellerman's, I should be there in about five minutes now and the scared feeling and nervousness is overbearing .In a few minutes I will be in the place that brought my life to a faltering state. I have been alone , pregnant, and money wise, I have none. Things have been so hard, so hopefully everything will pan out and be a little easier for me..I love Johnny and can't wait to see him. He is my life, soul and my heart. I don't know what I would do if he were to reject me. Tears were then running down Babys face. Her heart was pounding and palms were sweating, and she couldn't wait to see her babies daddy. The one that took her virginity and her life that she had known for the most part of her life. The one that made her become the woman that she is today..This is the beginning of the new that is to begin shortly. With the birth of her unborn baby to the life with or without Johnny ..It will all change within the near future..She was ready to find out...
Baby approached the gates that led into the Kellersman's parking lot. Were all the little familys and kids were running around like this was just the best place that they could be at, at this moment. The funny thing was at this moment I myself did not want to be here. The fear was taking over my body as I looked out of my car window. I wanted to see if I could catch a glimse of him , just to see what my reaction would be. If I know myself I think I would have to stick my head out the window and puke my mornings breakfast up. Lord forbid if he was on the arm of another woman. This is a thought that I had not thought about , it just had not processed in my mind that he might be involved with someone one else. I guess that is just an issue that I will have to deal with , if infact that is the case.
I pulled my car into the space that was provided for me when daddy made my reservations. Funny enough it was the same cabin that i had the last time that I was here. I got out my car and took a deep breath and looked around at my surroundings. There was no signs of Johnny or Penny, but funny enough Billy did walk up to my car. He asked me if I needed help with my bags. For a split second I think that he didn't know who I was. I said , "Billy do you not know who I am ?" "Its Baby"
"No it couldn't be you!" "Is it really"
"Yes Billy,you think that I have changed that much"
"Well I guess not, maby older, and more filled out I guess."
"Is that suppose to be a bad comment?"
"Now Baby , You know that I could never say anything bad about you." "You know I think that you are beautiful, and if you had not gone to Johnny, I would have went after you myself." He said with a wink and a smile. "So where you been hiding?" "I know that Johnny had not said anything about talking to you." I asked him last night if he had heard anything from you and he said no". So you know how all that goes, he is a very secretive person and its not one of his best qualities"...Billy just smiled as if he knew something was going on cause he looked at me as if he could see something that I was not saying, but I just let the look go through me as if I knew nothing of what he was thinking.
"Billy could you help me carry these things to my cabin?" "I am really tired and don't feel like carrying things around here til I leave." I said with a laugh as if nothing was wrong. HE said sure and we were off to my cabin so I could get ready and get something to eat, to feed this always hungry baby. I got unpacked and took a long warm bath and got ready and headed out to the dinner hall. When I walked in I saw Neal and Mr. Kellerman. I had a seat at my table and Mr. Kellerman walked over to my table where he had a seat and told me that he had talked to my father and if I run out of money that my father had sent him money for me if that happaned. I said thank you Mr. Kellerman. Before he walked off he turned around and said "Your father told me why you are here and I think that this is for the best , he does need to know.""He seems lost most of the time, try not to be to mean to him , if that is your plan."
"Ok Mr. kellerman, that is not my intention, but I will keep that in mind, if that problem comes up." "Oh hey Mr. Kellerman, do you know where Johnny is?" In that moment I heard a voice from behind me and as I turned I felt like I was froze in that spot, but managed to get turned despite my growing belly. It was Penny with a great big smile, that I was so happy to see. I don't know what I would have done if it had been Johnny. I think that I would have dropped this baby right here. Penny spoke"Baby what are you doing here?""I am so happy to see you."
"Ah well you know me I can't stay away from the trouble and the ones that cause it." As a small laugh came for me.
"Well tell me Baby what has been happaning to you over the last seven or eight months"
"Penny honey you would not believe me if I told you." "Believe me"
"Try me Baby"
"Well I would, but I think that I need to tell someone else that before I tell anyone else"
"Is something worng Baby?" "Is there something that I can do or help you with"
"No, but you could tell me where Johnny is?
"Ugh Baby he has a friend and I don't know if that is a good idea."
"Penny this is kinda important, I do need to talk to him about something." "Is this relationship of his important to him?" "I mean if it is, I don't want to bother him with this, and maby I will tell him later when his life has settled"
"Baby tell me what is wrong." I don't know if it is serious , I don't think so, I know that he is always thinking about you that is." "You are the love of his life Baby." "The reason why he has not come to you, is because he thinks that you are to good for him and I am sorry , but that is the truth." " He does love you , but I think he has her to try to get over you, he didn't think that you would be here at anytime.""He thinks that you hate him now for not keeping contact with you all this time."
"Penny I will tell you , but you can not tell him I want him to hear it from me alone." " We did see each other one time and we made love and now I am seven months pregnant." "I have had no way of contacting him and I am here to tell him what is going on." " I expect nothing from him, but I wanted to be decent and tell him that I am pregnant and that he is the father." "Just to let him know that he has options, he can love me and the baby, the baby,or neither." "It will all be up to him , its his choice!"
"I do love him, but I have chose to respect his wishes and do as he asks"
Penny just stood in shock as I looked at her trying to think of what she was thinking. Penny is a hard one to figure out , but I was always good at cracking the shell that she is hiding under."Penny I wish that you would say something, it would mean so much if you would." Penny still stood there in silence for a few seconds longer before she spoke.
"Baby I don't know what to say, I thought that you all were more careful!" "I would have never thought , stand up and let me see that belly girl." "I always love to look and feel pregnant belly's"
I stood up and pulled up my shirt a bit and Penny smiled so sweetly and I asked her if she would be the childs godmother. Penny was so excited that I thought that she was going to jump right out of her chair. Penny said,"Baby you know I will be this childs godmother." "It would be an honor to do this for you and Johnny." "Now I have to go , me and Johnny have our show for the guests, I will talk to you a little later."
I sat there for a little while and watched their show and I could not watch any longer the tears were comming down and all I wanted to do was go up to Johnny and have him hold me, but now I know that he has someone and we will not be the family that I had hoped. All my dreams were all gone down the drain. I seriously thought about leaving and I walked out and sat by the lake for the longest time, just thinking of what I was going to so now. Where my life was going to go from here. I must have been there for the longest time just thinking , when I felt a hand go on my shoulder and as I turned to look I felt a lite kiss on the top of my head. I knew then that it was Johnny and I could do nothing but sit there. I could say nothing or do nothing. I was froze in that moment in time for a few minutes. I guess it was to gather my thoughts as to what to say. Until then he spoke. "Baby what are you doing here?" "I didn't expect to see you here, I seen you at my show with Penny and when I was done you was gone, I didn't know why you was not there to speak to me afterwards." "Is something wrong that you are out here and it being a little chilly?" "May I sit down here with you"
"Ofcourse you can Johnny, its a free country."
"Baby speak to me is something wrong?" "I am sorry that I have not been there for you, but things have not been as I expected and I never wanted to hurt you."
"Oh yes I know , you have someone and I am here and oboviously not wanted." "I am so sorry for comming here and putting a damper on the pending relationship that you now have." "I guess I have nothing to loose so I have a few things that I would like to say to you, and I would appreciate it if you would let me speak." "First, I love you and I thought that I meant more to you then a summer fling and I gave my heart to you and you had no right to set things up like they are now.""I don't deserve it and I wished I had never come here." "This was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do in my life, but it is well worth it." "I will leave in the morning , I had originally came here to tell you something important, but I suspect that there is nothing that I have to say that is going to mean anything to you.""So as it is Johnny Castle I will now leave you with you thoughts and I guess it has been nice knowing ya." "See you later!"
I ran as fast as my pregnant self would go as I looked back I could see the look of shock on Johnnys face and if I didn't know any better, I think that I seen a tear glisten in the moonlight of the night. I ran straight to my cabin where I took off my cloths and lay in my bra and slip that was made for pregnancy , that showed my growing stomach.The last I remember is crying into my pillow as the light from the moon was flowing through my window. Aluminating my pregnant body in a way that I have not noticed myself. I woke later that night with a lite hand moving the hair from my face and Johnny rubbing my neck. He was talking to me as I slept. Saying that he was sorry and that he never meant to hurt me that it was the last thing that he has ever wanted to do to me. That I was everthing that he wasn't and he would always love me no matter if I ever knew it. I could feel the sobs comming on and my body began to shake from the tears that I was trying to hide hoping that he would not notice, but he did and I was there for him to see me in a shape that he had never seen me in.
I felt the strong arms of the one person in this wourld that I loved go around me and pull me close to him. He looked at me in the eyes and said"Baby I love you to and I am so sorry you deserve better,I want nothing more than to give you the world , I have nothing I am trash, I have nothing to give you." You are better than me Baby." "How could I ever make you happy and I can't even make myself happy, I was only happy when I was with you and you know that it is the truth Baby." "You were the one that stood up for me and you alone." "Your the part of my heart that see's good in everyone." "How could I forget that."
"Well Johnny what do you want me to do, I am all alone and have no one to turn to and the funny thing is you don't even really know why I am here." "I just don't know what to do, you are the love of my life Johnny." "I don't know why I picked you , but I did and there is no turning back." " I gave you my all Johnny, I gave myself to you first knowing that it may never last , but I wanted you that bad and look where it has gotten me." "No where!" "What do you want from me Johnny?" "If you want me to go I will and I will never bother you again." "Just tell me and I will obide with your wishes."
"Right now I just want to hold you close to me and kiss you all over." "You just don't know what you do to me." "I will be honest Baby, I have not had any relationship in the bedroom with any woman but you in the last year." "Just remember that and take it as you want and if that don't tell you how much you mean to me than nothing ever will." "Now you move closer so I can give you a kiss."
Before I knew it Johnny and I were kissing and touching , I didn't know what to do. I had not had sex since I was pregnant and it was an odd feeling, knowing that he didn't know that I was even going to have a baby , his baby. What was I thinking, I let him get to me everytime. I love this man , but I can't help it, I have no restraint when it comes to him.
Johnny made love to me so sweetly and for some reason he didn't notice my stomach pooching out. Maby he does love me to not notice what I look like. I guess it has nothing to do with the body, just that he loves me for me. I lay here looking at my stomach and watching my baby move , I just want to wake Johnny and tell him to put his hand on my belly so he can feel for the first time what I have been feeling all along. His baby moving and growing and becomming a little person with I hope has his eyes and my hair. I want the baby to have his attitude and my kindness, I all together want the baby to be like us both. With that thougt I was off to a dreamy sleep. I felt a hand running over my belly as I slept and I looked up to see Johnny rubbing circles on my stomach. I smiled at him and said" What is it , is something wrong?" .
"Is this what you are to tell me"
"Ugh yes it is, what do you think"
"Well first of all , how far along are you"
"I am seven months"
"I am the father arent I"
"Yes Johnny you know that you are"
"You want me to be apart of this babies life , I guess"
"You know that I do and I am keeping this baby wether you want it or not"
"Baby I love and this baby, even though I just found out about it"
"You are my pride Baby my shining pride, and this baby is also going to be my shinning pride"
"I wish that I had known eariler, I would like to had been apart of this whole pregnancy thing , you know"
"Yes I am sure that you would have"
"What has you father had to say about all this?" "I know that he can't be happy about it, I know he has high expectations of you." " I am sorry if I have caused any problems for you and your family." "I want nothing but the best for you"
"You know, I have a better idea Baby"
"What is that sweetie"
"Will you marry me Baby?"
I was so excited I thought that I was going to jump right out of my skin. I didn't know what to say, well I knew but was a little scared to anwser. OH my god how I love this man. I think for first in my life I was getting what I wanted. With that thought I anwsered"Yes I will marry you Johnny!"