If there was one thing that Jade wanted to keep from her relationship, it was this. Beck was on a need-to-know basis, and as far as she was concerned; this, he did not need to know.
But when he just couldn't leave well enough alone, she knew it was time to put her acting skills to the test. So with all the strength of a chronic insomniac, she packed an overnight bag and trekked to the RV she had come to know and love. Hesitating only for a moment, she knocked at the door. He was, after all, expecting her.
Jade had tried everything at one point or another, exhausting every option; even giving up coffee for a miserable few days in a desperate - and vain - attempt to quell the nightmares. And sure enough, later that night, her fears were confirmed.
As they were settling into bed, Jade felt herself become rigid. Hoping that Beck wouldn't notice her discomfort, she made an offhand comment about his choice of pajamas. He noticed.
"Babe, you okay?"
"I'm fine," she snapped, quicker than she would have liked. "I'm fine." She said it again, slower, as if to convince herself. Adjusting until she had made herself more comfortable, Jade turned to face away from Beck, screwing her eyes shut. She felt his hand slip into hers.
"Hey. I know. It's a big step, us spending the night."
She tentatively squeezed his hand, then pulled hers away, and the next thing she knew, she was screaming.
"Jade! Come on, Jade. Baby, wake up!" He was at a loss, but knew that if he kept repeating this mantra, she had to be okay, she had to.
She was, and he sighed in relief. Then he saw the look on her face. She was mortified.
He reached above them and turned on an overhead lamp. Finding his voice, Beck asked, "Jade?" It wasn't a question so much as her name but it got her talking nevertheless.
"Oh my - God, I'm so sorry - Beck, I never should have - this was a mistake - I -" He cut her off.
"Shh, baby, calm down. You need to breathe, yeah?" She hadn't realized it but he was right. Her breathing had become shallow in an effort to get her explanation out. Jade listened to the sound of Beck's rhythmic heartbeat and tried to time her breathing to match it. She was no stranger to these episodes.
When she had regained composure, Jade tried again. "I had a bad dream." She didn't mean for it to come out as a pout, it just did. Instead of resenting her for it, Beck responded with love in his eyes. That, she decided, was new.
"Tell me about it."
"What?"
"What happened? Unless you can't talk about it, that's okay, too. We can just stay here and talk about something else."
Jade was cognisant now, and taken aback. She narrowed her eyes, shifting her focus. "You're not going to, like, tell anyone, are you?"
He chuckled softly. "No, I don't have a death wish, if that's what you're asking. But I'll bet you don't want to go back to sleep right now, and I'll bet you want to get some things off your chest before you do?"
She nodded, and Beck pulled her in closer to his chest. He rubbed soothing circles against the fabric of her shirt, and placed kisses to the top of her head. Slowly, he swayed with her, almost as if they were dancing, right there in the bed.
Breaking the trance, Jade mumbled into his shoulder. "Almost every night."
Masking his surprise, Beck replied, "that's no way to live."
She hiccoughed. "I know. I've tried everything."
He sensed that she was getting frustrated and offered to get her a cup of tea, which she declined, instead saying, "hey, will you talk to me, though? You know, like, random."
So Beck launched into a fantasy on their future together, complete with kids and a white picket fence. And as she fell asleep with a rare smile on her face, he thought to himself...maybe she hadn't tried everything.
