Everything Is Different Now
Prologue
September 2006
************I won't kill you Edward. I want you to live with what you've done and suffer as much as I have.
************I'm going to kill that demon spawn that killed Bella.
************Taha Aki help me! Why have you forced me to imprint on a hybrid, half vampire baby? Why?
All I could think of to do was run. It may have been a cowardly thing, but I could not face an eternity shackled to a soulmate
that's a vampire, half or any other fraction. I couldn't let the wolf take over because he would never want to leave his imprint,
OR he'd be so totally confused that his imprint is his mortal enemy that he'd just go insane on the spot. Well, that's just tough.
I couldn't help him in either instance. I ran out of the Cullen crypt and hauled ass on two feet to my home. I threw some clothes
in a duffle, grabbed my savings from the cigar box under my bed, raided Dad's coffee can, sorry Dad, I'll pay you back as soon as
I can, threw my bag and myself into the Rabbit and took off. I topped off the gas tank and headed south, prepared to go all the
way to Mexico if I had to in order to bleach the last two years from my brain and my heart. If only I'd known how impossible that
would actually be.
The pain was almost immediate. Separation from my imprint. I'd heard this wasn't a good idea. Even before I had gotten home
and packed to run, I was struggling for air, my lungs were on fire and my skin felt like it wanted to be somewhere else besides on
my body. I gritted my teeth and forced myself to keep moving. It was hard to say which was worse, the physical agony or the
mental and emotional anguish but I was gonna fight this or die trying. My heart felt like a fist was squeezing it but so did my brain.
It was being crushed by thoughts I tried not to have. They were involuntary, a waking nightmare bombarding my consciousness,
I couldn't fight them off. I kept going.
I stopped for gas somewhere south of Portland, Oregon.
"Hey, buddy, are you okay?"
"What? Yeah, I'm fine. Here's for the fuel on pump 2 and this yummy junk food. Why did you ask if I was okay?"
"You're kidding right? Mister, I'm not saying you're on something, but I've seen strung out junkies that look healthier than you.
You got some kinda medical condition?"
"Yeah, you could say that. Thanks for the worry, but just bag this up okay, I need to hit the road."
"Sure fellah. Whatever you say. Here's your change. Be careful now."
"Thanks, I'll try."
I pulled off at a rest area a couple hundred miles later to take a leak and get some coffee. When I was washing my hands in
the bathroom, I looked up into the mirror...and scared myself shitless. Who the hell was that? No wonder that guy at the
truck stop thought I was sick. All the blood vessels in my face and neck were pumped up and bulging and practically glowing
purple. My face looked like a road map as did my eyeballs and my hands and forearms. I hadn't seen them until I rolled up
my sleeves to wash my hands. My lips were streaked red and purple and my hair had grown several inches and now had silver
streaks shot through it. I figured the rest of me looked as bad and I wasn't curious what the problem was. I knew what it was.
It was my human body and my fucking wolf literally trying to kill each other to take control. They were having a tug of war over
who got to sit in the pilot's seat and they were using my arteries and veins as the rope and the rest of my body was the battlefield.
I was trying to get away from the heartache and the tragedy and my wolf was so pissed and determined to go back, he was killing
me from the inside out trying to do it.
I sat in my car for an hour trying to steady my nerves, my trembling hands and my shaking soul. Shit, I could barely breathe! I
couldn't do it. What was I thinking? Who was I kidding? There was no fucking way the mother fucking Spirits were gonna let
me dodge this bullet. No matter what I tried, no matter how hard I ran or how far I got, no matter how much control I could manage
to muster up, I was going to have to go back. The pull would bring me back to Forks, La Push and that spawn or it would simply
squeeze the life right out of me, right here, right now.
I pulled back out onto the highway, and made a U-turn at the next exit. That may have been the hardest thing I'd ever done in my
life. Well, maybe second hardest, right after taking off in the face of the crippling pain and fear in the first place. I realized I was
going to have to try to drive on through the night, to get as close to home as I could before I stopped for a break. That was the plan
anyway. My brain wasn't firing on all cylinders by that point and I hadn't allowed for my damaged body, the fact that I wasn't healing
like I should have been and the minor detail of no sleep for the past three days.
************************************************** ************************************************** *****
"Can you hear me? Open your eyes! What's your name young man?"
I tried to comply with the requests. I really did. It wasn't happening.
"I've got a pulse, but it's thready! Get the collar, the body bubble and the board down here stat!"
I managed to open one eye and I pursed my lips in an attempt to say something to this person. I wasn't having any luck with
my voice and my other eye seemed to be stuck shut with something warm and gooey that I could feel oozing across my face.
I wiggled a couple of fingers and they brushed up against something soft and warm.
"Alright, he's coming around. Stay still Sir, we're gonna get you out of here. My name's Stacy, can you tell me your name?"
I tried to swallow and get my mouth to hook up with my brain and crank out an answer for Stacy.
"What was that honey? Can you try that again?"
She placed her ear close to my lips, her hair tickled my cheek. I gave it one more shot and got out a croaky whisper.
"J-J-Jake."
"That's good! Okay, Jake, I'm gonna stay with you and I'll tell you everything I'm doing. Do you remember what happened?"
"N-No."
"That's alright. Don't worry about it. You've been in a wreck, Jake. You were trapped in your car and we just got you cut out
of it, just before you woke up. I'm getting your vitals and I've started an I. V. We're gonna immobilize you top to bottom and
get the board under you and get you out of this ravine."
"W-What's wrong with m-my left eye? Is it s-still there?"
"Yeah Jake, it's still there honey. It's stuck shut with blood, here let me wipe it a little with this solution. Easy, just a second now.
There. How many fingers am I holding up?"
"Not sure. Twelve?"
I tried to smile at her. I got out half of one.
"Oh yeah, you're gonna be fine Jake. You'll be back on your feet in no time and can resume your career as a stand-up comedian.
Now don't try to move any more. We need to keep you still till we can get you X-rayed and see what's intact and what's not."
"What have I d-done to m-myself?"
"Well, my first inventory yielded evidence of a laceration to your head, that's where the blood on your eye came from, a whole
library of cuts and abrasions along with a lot of subcutaneous hemorrhaging from ruptured blood vessels, a dislocated shoulder
and a possible broken ankle. Actually, you're pretty lucky I guess. Even your seatbelt couldn't protect you from everything
considering it's a fairly small car, the bridge abutment was fairly solid and this ditch is pretty deep. I'm afraid your car may be
history, but you'll be around for a long time."
"Well damn."
"I know how you feel honey. Just hang in there, here comes Pete with your bubble and board."
"You're nice. Thanks for taking care of me."
"My pleasure Jake. Just sorry we had to meet under such stressful circumstances. Now, don't panic, Pete's gonna help me position
this plastic around you. It's called a body bubble. We'll get it around you and then blow it up with air and it will help immobilize
and cushion your body and extremities. Let me get this collar around your neck first. There, is that comfy? It's pretty soft, mostly
just for extra padding."
"Yeah, it's good."
"Okay great. Alright, Pete, you got that end? Good. Let 'er rip. Here comes the air Jake. We'll do it slowly. Sing out if we
need to back off a second. Okay, good? Great. Now we'll get the board under you and the guys will lift you out of here."
"Will you come with me?"
"Sure. I'll be right behind you all the way up and then we'll ride to the ER together. Don't worry Jake."
"Just don't leave me okay?"
"I won't leave you Jake. Just take it easy."
Shortly after they began to haul my broken ass back up to the roadway level, I lost my battle with the Sand Man. I woke up in
the ambulance for a short while and was re-introduced to Stacy and I drifted off again. After that there were little bright scenes
amongst the darkness. There was a bump when the gurney burst through the ER doors. There was a flash of a crowd of people
gathered around me in a circle, all looking down at me. There was a moment when my mother strolled by me and brushed my
hair out of my eyes and smiled while she reassured me that I would be fine. There was a soundtrack of people shouting things like
'get that IV going' and 'let me see those films again' and 'did anyone get anything other than his first name' and then I jerked at the
comment 'what did you say his temperature was' and 'are you shitting me?'. Then there was an awful lot of darkness and silence.
It didn't bother me too much because there was also a distinct absence of pain and that was always a good thing in my book.
When I finally became aware of my surroundings again, I was greeted by bright lights shining in my eyes and lots of beeping noises.
When I tried to move there were things preventing the freedom I hoped for. There were tubes and wires and I soon discovered,
things sticking to my chest and arms holding those wires in place. The door to my room began to open and I quickly closed my
eyes to pretend I was still out of it. Someone came in and busied themselves checking machinery and pushing buttons and flipping
switches. At one point, a soft, warm hand gently rested on my shoulder for just a moment and I heard someone sigh deeply. Then
I heard the door open and close and I opened my eyes again to look around the room. It appeared to be a plain hospital room. That
was good news. At least I wasn't in ICU or something like that. But I had to get out of here and it had to be soon before someone
started asking questions that I simply would not answer. The fact that I wasn't in some sort of lock down was crucial. This meant
that as soon as things got quiet when the night shift had come on, I'd be able to make my escape without much trouble.
That's exactly what I did. When the clock on the wall read 1:00 a.m., I decided I could make my getaway. The nurses had changed
shifts at eleven I guessed, the new one had been in to check on me, taking temp and blood pressure, and I knew they would be otherwise
occupied with other patients for the next half hour at least. I pulled the needles out of my arms, eased off the bed and tied the silly
hospital gown together as much as it would allow. The last thing I did was rip off the wire leads to the beep-beep machines. I figured
there might be some sort of alarm at the nurses' station as soon as I disconnected myself, so I saved it until I was ready to make my
break for it.
I slipped out of my room and hurried to the door marked as the Exit stairwell. The last thing I needed was to be trapped in an elevator
with the possibility that someone could step in and join me at any moment. I got all the way to a sub-level of the parking deck and exited
carefully, hiding behind cars as I made my way along the outer wall of the structure. I finally reached a far corner where everything was
fairly deserted. Looking over the low wall to gauge the drop, I cast one more look around for any witnesses, and braced my hand on the
top of the ledge and flung myself down to the ground. I laid low for several minutes, watching the traffic on the street at the end of the
wall. With as much stealth as I could muster, I ripped off the hospital gown, phased, and slunk around past the receiving bays and the
dumpsters before making a break for the woods at the edge of the property. Once I was at least a couple of miles into the forest I stopped
to catch my breath, get my bearings, shake off the screaming pains in my chest and brain and try to decide what I should do now.
Closing my eyes, I let my thoughts clear and reached out to my brothers and sister. There had to be at least a couple of them phased.
"Anybody home?"
"Jake? Holy shit, man where you been? You okay?"
"Hey Embry. Damn, it's good to feel your voice. Yeah, I'm good, I guess. I wrecked my car. I didn't come out of it real pretty but I'll be alright after a while."
"Where are you, dude?"
"I don't know for sure. I think I may be in Oregon. I just left a hospital."
"Hell, Jake. Should you be up? What happened? Why'd you take off?"
"It's a long story my brother. Let me show you."
I relaxed my mind and let my thoughts travel down painful yet familiar paths. I let my brother see the birth, the beginnings of Bella's change, my horror, my anger, my heartbreak, the imprint, my fear, my cowardice, my flight. I felt his empathy and loyalty and then he showed me what he knew of since the disaster. He seemed reluctant to share everything with me, but he steeled himself, gave me an admonishment to brace myself and revealed the last 24 hours to me.
Seth and Leah had remained at the Cullen house for only a short while after I had taken off. Bella had been cleaned up and dressed and it was obvious the change was already well underway. My heart ached with grief at the idea that the world no longer counted a human Bella as a resident. Seth had caught a glimpse of the baby before he had followed his sister home to La Push. He had noted the brown eyes that looked exactly like Bella's and he heard the tiny, rapid heartbeat. My own heart squeezed at the brief look Seth's memory had spread to the rest of the Pack. She might have Bella's brown eyes and a heartbeat, but I just couldn't do it. God help me, I couldn't do it. I couldn't see myself tied for life to protecting the being that caused the loss of the humanity of the best friend that I had loved with all my heart for so long. I couldn't bring myself to accept the idea of having a soulmate who's half vampire. That just wouldn't work, would it? And she's a newborn baby! What, would I have to continue phasing for 20 more years just so I'd not be arrested for being a pedophile? I don't think so. Not gonna happen.
Then the last thing he had to share with me, the leeches left. They packed up, loaded up the baby and took off like the whole Pack was on their trail. I guess they split for Alaska or maybe New Hampshire. Both places had been discussed. Bella said they might join their friends in Denali, but then again there had been talk of college, Dartmouth. They said they would leave as soon as the baby arrived. My imprint's gone and even if I wanted to, I couldn't find her.
Once I had seen all Embry had to share I let him know I was headed home to try to figure something out and deal with this cluster. He promised to try to keep what I had shared with him under wraps until I got there.
I had no idea what I would do once I arrived back on the Rez. I hoped some brilliant solution would present itself to me on the run home.
Unfortunately, I also had no idea that a rain-swollen river in my path would overflow its banks in a flash flood of water and mud, sweeping
me away leaving me unconscious, naked back in human form and lost in a deserted field. Apparently my body was discovered by the farmer
who was walking his land to see what crops he had left after the flood. I woke up in another hospital feeling like death warmed over. I had
no idea where I was and the plastic bracelet on my wrist said 'John Doe'.
The thought crossed my mind for just a split second that maybe I could hide out here for a while. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It never occurred to me that 'the system' could swallow me up and I'd be held prisoner for more years than I'd have believed possible. I had
hoped I could lay low and get a grip on where my life was going. As I began to understand the dead end I'd been forced into, I realized that
my life was going nowhere, I didn't know where I was, I wasn't sure who I was and I wasn't getting out of here anytime soon.
I had no concept of the hell I'd allowed myself to be pulled into. I realized pretty quickly that I was trapped. I had no hope of ever being
released or rescued. There was nobody in existence to do either of those things for me. I was truly alone.
The time passed slowly. But it passed. Lots of it.