Title: He's Gone
Author: Sarah232
Rating: PG for slight language, kinda
Summary: Buffy makes a mistake while patrolling, how does she cope? How does it all turn out? Strong B/A.
A/N: I do not own ANY of the characters or places.. or anything like that. Only the plot and the story itself. =) Enjoy.
*****
He's Gone
It had been a quiet night in Sunnydale, for once. Not much of those lately...Buffy thought. She walked around the cemetery, craving for a good fight. She was still getting used to Angel's return from Hell. He had been getting better and been acting a little normal, as much normal as a 243 year old vampire could get.
"Come here vampie-vampies. I'm REEADDY." She said, board. She sat on a tombstone and sighed, her face expressionless. He heard soft footsteps. The footsteps of a vamp, she thought. The mysterious you-don't-know-who-I-am footsteps. Haha, she thought, gotcha! She quickly turned around a plunged a stake straight towards the heart. She glanced at the face as it contorted in pain and confusion. "Buffy..." Angel. It was Angel. Her Angel.
"Oh my, God." She realized. "No!" She screamed. She stared in horror as he crumbled into dust and fell to the ground. "No.. Angel." She fell to her knees in front of the pile of dust. She touched her, her eyes still wide. "...NO... please, NO Angel.." She bent the top of her body down to the ground and put her cheek against the dust and sobbed. She felt like she was being torn apart.
"Buffy?" The voice was deep and she knew it. Her breath caught in her throat and she turned around slowly. The tall, broad figure stepped closer. His hands in his black duster's pockets.
"Angel..? You.. you're --" She looked at the dust and back at him. She stood up.
"Dusted. I know. I saw." He said.
"How..?" She was confused. What was he? "Who are you?"
"..I'm me. That.. wasn't.. me." He said and stepped even closer, he touched her arm and she pulled away and stepped a few steps away. "Buffy, I --" She shook her head.
"Who are you?" She asked, a little bit of anger in her voice.
"I'm Angel..." He said, he eyebrows coming together in concern. "Buffy.. listen to me."
"Tell me who the hell you are!" She screamed. He steps closer. "You came another step.. and I'll kill you." She whispered in a coarse angry voice. He stepped back.
"Buffy, please." He whispered desperately. "Something's wrong with you.. you HAVE to listen to me, Buffy.." She shook her head lightly.
"No... get away from me." She said, stepping away. He opened his mouth to say something, but she pulled out a stake.
"No.. Buffy. It's me.." He looked at her, but she held up the stake, if she plunged it into him, she would make the biggest mistake of her life. He stepped back and stumbled away from her. He walked away, his head down.
***
"And you killed him.." Giles asked, complete confusion filled his face.
"Yes, but.. no." Buffy said, sitting on the library table, her feet crossed. She sighed, as well as Giles. He took of his glasses and rubbed his eyes, something he often did.
"Alright, Buffy. Review this with me once more.
"Yeah." Willow said from a chair. "I'm.. still confused."
"Oh.. I'm not." Xander said, sarcastically. "I get it completely. He stands up from one of the chairs. "You stake the poor guy by accident.. the next second he comes up behind you and tells you he's himself. This is Sunnydale, people. How could you not get it?" He sits back down and puts his feet up on the table.
"No.. Xander, it's more than that." Buffy said, getting off the table. "Look, we have to get to class. You guys be here after school." Buffy gave another on nod and left the library.
Buffy walked into her History class and sat down, leaning back in the seat, only one more period until we can figure this out. Willow came in and sat in front of her.
"Hi, Buffy." She sat down.
"Hey, Will." Buffy said. The teacher came in.
"Good afternoon, class." She said. Buffy was looking down at her paper, copying notes. Buffy or Willow didn't noticed the guy walking in and whispering to the teacher. "Class, we have a new student. What's your name?" Neither of them looked up until the guy talked a little louder.
"Uh, my names An --" He caught himself. "Andy." Buffy looked up, her jaw dropped. Willow snapped her head back, and stared at Buffy in disbelief.
"Andy what?" The teacher asked.
"Uh.. Andy Scruden.." He stumbled. "..heimer"
"Scrudenheimer?" She asked. He just nodded.
"Angel.." Buffy whispered. He looked at her. He was dressed in jeans and a white T-shirt. Wow.
"Andy will be in this class for the rest of the remaining school year. Um, let's see. We don't have any more History books." She noticed a seat next to Buffy. "Why don't you sit over their next to Buffy. Uh, Buffy raise your hand show Andy who you are." Buffy hesitantly raised her hand. "You can share her book." She said to Angel. Angel nodded and walked up to Buffy, raising his eyebrows and smiling thinly at Willow as he passed her, Willow kept her eyes on him. Was that really Angel? Buffy still sat confused. Angel sat in the seat and scooted it closer to her, unsteadily. She didn't even look at her book as she slid it closer to him. "..Angel..?" She whispered as the teacher talked on. He nodded.
"I tried to explain it to you last night. I'll tell you more about it later. I just want to see what they teach kids in school these days."
"Yeah well things have changed alot since two and a half centuries ago." Buffy said. Finally, the bell rang. Everyone started chatting. "Angel.. tell me all about it." She said, as she walked down the hall with him, Willow on her other side.
"I tried telling you last night. You killed Angelus last night. A demon came to me last night.. gave me my human body back. What happened was.... Angelus came back and you killed him. Now.. I.. I'm human.. I get to be free." He stopped. "Buffy, I'm human." He said, worried it hadn't kicked in yet, she didn't seem to be too surprised.
"I.. oh God." Buffy smiled. "I can't believe it. I'm so shocked..." She fell into his arms and kissed him.
The wind blew.. Buffy suddenly realized she had fallen asleep.. she was still on the ground, her cheek lying on the dust.. Angel. Tears fell into the pile. She leaned back so she was sitting on the ground, her knees to her chest. She brought her hands to her face and cried hard into them. "I killed him.. it was.. a .. mistake...".
"Buffy.." It was a mans voice. No.. not again, it's not Angel. I'm not dreaming again, she promise herself. It wasn't him. It was Xander.
"Xander.. what..?"
"I was worried, we were all at the library waiting for you. So I came by." She didn't seem to be paying any attention to him, she continued crying. He sat down beside her and put and arm around her.
"What?" He asked concerned and leaned into him and cried harder.
"Ooh, Xander.." Her voice was barely understandable. "I.. killed Angel!"
"What? He turned evil?" He asked.
"Noo.." She said, crying even harder. "It was an accident! I thought he was a vampire.."
"Well, actually--" Xander began, then stopped.
"Oh, Xander. I.. thought he was an evil one!" She pulled at his jacket, needing something the cling to. "He's.. dead." She whispered. Suddenly Xander had an idea.
"A spell." He whispered into her hair.
"What?" She asked, hope filling her sad expression. Her face was tear-streaked and her makeup fell down her cheeks.
"Willow.. might be able to bring him back." He said.
"You think so!?" Buffy asked, getting a little anxious, tears still fell.
"We should talk to her. Come on." Xander said standing up.
"Wait.. what about.. that? Would we need that?" She asked pointing to the pile of dust. Xander looked down and nodded.
"Uh, yeah." He said softly. She pulled off her hat and wiped the dust into it gently, trying not to cry, her eyes over teared and the spilled down her cheeks.
"Oh, Xander." She whispered.
"Come on." He said, a little more gentler. "It'll be okay." He led her out of the cemetery, towards the school.
***
Willow, Oz, Giles and Wesley sat impatiently. The doors opened.
"Buffy!" Willow yelled, concern filling her voice as she jumped up off of Oz's lap to Buffy as Xander led her in and sat her over on a chair. Giles crouched down in front of her.
"Are you alright?" The British librarian asked her. Buffy didn't answer him, but put the hat in front of him and turned her head, unable to look at the hatful of dust. Everyone gave her a look. Xander looked down and Willow and Oz looked at each other.
Willow's jaw dropped. "It's.. Angel, it must be Angel.. Oh, God."
"My God, Buffy, Angelus came back?" Giles asked. Buffy shook her head, still unable to speak.
"Then why did you do it?" Willow asked. Buffy started to sob. "Oh! Oh, Buffy. I'm so sorry!"
"It was a mistake." Xander spoke up. "We, were wondering if maybe their was some sort of.. spell?" Giles shook his head.
"I.. don't think so." He said.
"I could try something, if you'll let me." Willow said.
"No, Willow. This would be a very, very dangerous spell if I even could find something." Giles said, standing up. "I'm so very sorry, Buffy."
"His.. face... was so surprised.." Buffy said, her voice almost inaudible.
"Oh, Buffy." Willow said, leaning down and hugging her friend tightly. Buffy cried of her best friends arm. Xander put his arms around both of them from the front. Oz came over and put his arms around Willow and Buffy from the back. Giles sat with his head down. Oz was surprised to see tears coming from Willow. Willow pulled away from Xander and Buffy and Oz pulled her into a tight hug and let her cry on him. Buffy cried with Xander.
"Uh, Wesley, could you, uh.. help me with, ah, trying to find a spell." Giles asked.
"Ah, of course." Wesley replied, taking off his glasses and wiping his eye. "Uh, allergies." Giles nodded and led Wesley into his office. By now, Buffy had looked up with hope in her eyes.
"Please, Giles. You have to.. try." She said. Giles stopped and turned.
"I'll try my best." He gave her a reassuring nod and proceeding into the office.
Willow and Oz sat quietly around the table with Xander and Buffy on the other side. Cordelia strutted in, holding two books and sat down.
"Hey.. where's Wesley?" She asked, nobody said anything or even looked at her. Buffy had a dazed stare and Willow had her head in her hands, Oz with his hand on her back, whispering things to her. Xander stared down and fidgeted with his hands. "Uh, hello..?"
"Cordy, this isn't a good time for Wesley scopping, here." Xander said, a little snippy.
"What's wrong?" She asked. Nobody answered her.
"Angel's dead. I killed him." Buffy whispered, controlling her tears now.
"Again?!" Cordelia threw her arms up. "God, when is that boy ever gonna learn that turning evil is bad!"
"He wasn't evil." Buffy whispered back, now looking at her for her total insensitivity.
"Oh, God, Buffy. What happened?" Cordelia asked, a little more thoughtfulness in her voice.
"Uh.. I thought he was.. a.. well, an EVIL vampire.. it was a mistake." Buffy said, leaning up from the chair and resting her face in the palms up her hands. Willow looked up.
"I'm so sorry, Buffy." She stood up. "But.. this isn't over.. Angel's coming back." She walked off into the office with a determined look on her face. She searched madly through books and handed everyone a book of spells. "Look for vampire spells.. restoration spells.. anything you can find helpful to us."
The Scoobies searched and searched until sunrise. But, nothing. Buffy slammed her book shut and through it on the ground, fed up with everything.
"Buffy.. careful with that.." Giles said, not thinking.
"God! Don't you people UNDERSTAND?!" Buffy sobbed. "Angel -- is -- DEAD! He's not coming back. WHO are we trying to kid?! He's.. just, he's gone." Her lip quivered and she looked down then back up and shook her head, raised her eyebrows. "Angel's gone." She looked at the door, hoping Angel would just come walking right through them and hold her. She realized she was holding her breath and let it out.
The others didn't want to admit it. They didn't want to let those two words wash over their brains.
But, it was the truth.
It was all the truth. He was gone.. he was never coming back.
Author: Sarah232
Rating: PG for slight language, kinda
Summary: Buffy makes a mistake while patrolling, how does she cope? How does it all turn out? Strong B/A.
A/N: I do not own ANY of the characters or places.. or anything like that. Only the plot and the story itself. =) Enjoy.
*****
He's Gone
It had been a quiet night in Sunnydale, for once. Not much of those lately...Buffy thought. She walked around the cemetery, craving for a good fight. She was still getting used to Angel's return from Hell. He had been getting better and been acting a little normal, as much normal as a 243 year old vampire could get.
"Come here vampie-vampies. I'm REEADDY." She said, board. She sat on a tombstone and sighed, her face expressionless. He heard soft footsteps. The footsteps of a vamp, she thought. The mysterious you-don't-know-who-I-am footsteps. Haha, she thought, gotcha! She quickly turned around a plunged a stake straight towards the heart. She glanced at the face as it contorted in pain and confusion. "Buffy..." Angel. It was Angel. Her Angel.
"Oh my, God." She realized. "No!" She screamed. She stared in horror as he crumbled into dust and fell to the ground. "No.. Angel." She fell to her knees in front of the pile of dust. She touched her, her eyes still wide. "...NO... please, NO Angel.." She bent the top of her body down to the ground and put her cheek against the dust and sobbed. She felt like she was being torn apart.
"Buffy?" The voice was deep and she knew it. Her breath caught in her throat and she turned around slowly. The tall, broad figure stepped closer. His hands in his black duster's pockets.
"Angel..? You.. you're --" She looked at the dust and back at him. She stood up.
"Dusted. I know. I saw." He said.
"How..?" She was confused. What was he? "Who are you?"
"..I'm me. That.. wasn't.. me." He said and stepped even closer, he touched her arm and she pulled away and stepped a few steps away. "Buffy, I --" She shook her head.
"Who are you?" She asked, a little bit of anger in her voice.
"I'm Angel..." He said, he eyebrows coming together in concern. "Buffy.. listen to me."
"Tell me who the hell you are!" She screamed. He steps closer. "You came another step.. and I'll kill you." She whispered in a coarse angry voice. He stepped back.
"Buffy, please." He whispered desperately. "Something's wrong with you.. you HAVE to listen to me, Buffy.." She shook her head lightly.
"No... get away from me." She said, stepping away. He opened his mouth to say something, but she pulled out a stake.
"No.. Buffy. It's me.." He looked at her, but she held up the stake, if she plunged it into him, she would make the biggest mistake of her life. He stepped back and stumbled away from her. He walked away, his head down.
***
"And you killed him.." Giles asked, complete confusion filled his face.
"Yes, but.. no." Buffy said, sitting on the library table, her feet crossed. She sighed, as well as Giles. He took of his glasses and rubbed his eyes, something he often did.
"Alright, Buffy. Review this with me once more.
"Yeah." Willow said from a chair. "I'm.. still confused."
"Oh.. I'm not." Xander said, sarcastically. "I get it completely. He stands up from one of the chairs. "You stake the poor guy by accident.. the next second he comes up behind you and tells you he's himself. This is Sunnydale, people. How could you not get it?" He sits back down and puts his feet up on the table.
"No.. Xander, it's more than that." Buffy said, getting off the table. "Look, we have to get to class. You guys be here after school." Buffy gave another on nod and left the library.
Buffy walked into her History class and sat down, leaning back in the seat, only one more period until we can figure this out. Willow came in and sat in front of her.
"Hi, Buffy." She sat down.
"Hey, Will." Buffy said. The teacher came in.
"Good afternoon, class." She said. Buffy was looking down at her paper, copying notes. Buffy or Willow didn't noticed the guy walking in and whispering to the teacher. "Class, we have a new student. What's your name?" Neither of them looked up until the guy talked a little louder.
"Uh, my names An --" He caught himself. "Andy." Buffy looked up, her jaw dropped. Willow snapped her head back, and stared at Buffy in disbelief.
"Andy what?" The teacher asked.
"Uh.. Andy Scruden.." He stumbled. "..heimer"
"Scrudenheimer?" She asked. He just nodded.
"Angel.." Buffy whispered. He looked at her. He was dressed in jeans and a white T-shirt. Wow.
"Andy will be in this class for the rest of the remaining school year. Um, let's see. We don't have any more History books." She noticed a seat next to Buffy. "Why don't you sit over their next to Buffy. Uh, Buffy raise your hand show Andy who you are." Buffy hesitantly raised her hand. "You can share her book." She said to Angel. Angel nodded and walked up to Buffy, raising his eyebrows and smiling thinly at Willow as he passed her, Willow kept her eyes on him. Was that really Angel? Buffy still sat confused. Angel sat in the seat and scooted it closer to her, unsteadily. She didn't even look at her book as she slid it closer to him. "..Angel..?" She whispered as the teacher talked on. He nodded.
"I tried to explain it to you last night. I'll tell you more about it later. I just want to see what they teach kids in school these days."
"Yeah well things have changed alot since two and a half centuries ago." Buffy said. Finally, the bell rang. Everyone started chatting. "Angel.. tell me all about it." She said, as she walked down the hall with him, Willow on her other side.
"I tried telling you last night. You killed Angelus last night. A demon came to me last night.. gave me my human body back. What happened was.... Angelus came back and you killed him. Now.. I.. I'm human.. I get to be free." He stopped. "Buffy, I'm human." He said, worried it hadn't kicked in yet, she didn't seem to be too surprised.
"I.. oh God." Buffy smiled. "I can't believe it. I'm so shocked..." She fell into his arms and kissed him.
The wind blew.. Buffy suddenly realized she had fallen asleep.. she was still on the ground, her cheek lying on the dust.. Angel. Tears fell into the pile. She leaned back so she was sitting on the ground, her knees to her chest. She brought her hands to her face and cried hard into them. "I killed him.. it was.. a .. mistake...".
"Buffy.." It was a mans voice. No.. not again, it's not Angel. I'm not dreaming again, she promise herself. It wasn't him. It was Xander.
"Xander.. what..?"
"I was worried, we were all at the library waiting for you. So I came by." She didn't seem to be paying any attention to him, she continued crying. He sat down beside her and put and arm around her.
"What?" He asked concerned and leaned into him and cried harder.
"Ooh, Xander.." Her voice was barely understandable. "I.. killed Angel!"
"What? He turned evil?" He asked.
"Noo.." She said, crying even harder. "It was an accident! I thought he was a vampire.."
"Well, actually--" Xander began, then stopped.
"Oh, Xander. I.. thought he was an evil one!" She pulled at his jacket, needing something the cling to. "He's.. dead." She whispered. Suddenly Xander had an idea.
"A spell." He whispered into her hair.
"What?" She asked, hope filling her sad expression. Her face was tear-streaked and her makeup fell down her cheeks.
"Willow.. might be able to bring him back." He said.
"You think so!?" Buffy asked, getting a little anxious, tears still fell.
"We should talk to her. Come on." Xander said standing up.
"Wait.. what about.. that? Would we need that?" She asked pointing to the pile of dust. Xander looked down and nodded.
"Uh, yeah." He said softly. She pulled off her hat and wiped the dust into it gently, trying not to cry, her eyes over teared and the spilled down her cheeks.
"Oh, Xander." She whispered.
"Come on." He said, a little more gentler. "It'll be okay." He led her out of the cemetery, towards the school.
***
Willow, Oz, Giles and Wesley sat impatiently. The doors opened.
"Buffy!" Willow yelled, concern filling her voice as she jumped up off of Oz's lap to Buffy as Xander led her in and sat her over on a chair. Giles crouched down in front of her.
"Are you alright?" The British librarian asked her. Buffy didn't answer him, but put the hat in front of him and turned her head, unable to look at the hatful of dust. Everyone gave her a look. Xander looked down and Willow and Oz looked at each other.
Willow's jaw dropped. "It's.. Angel, it must be Angel.. Oh, God."
"My God, Buffy, Angelus came back?" Giles asked. Buffy shook her head, still unable to speak.
"Then why did you do it?" Willow asked. Buffy started to sob. "Oh! Oh, Buffy. I'm so sorry!"
"It was a mistake." Xander spoke up. "We, were wondering if maybe their was some sort of.. spell?" Giles shook his head.
"I.. don't think so." He said.
"I could try something, if you'll let me." Willow said.
"No, Willow. This would be a very, very dangerous spell if I even could find something." Giles said, standing up. "I'm so very sorry, Buffy."
"His.. face... was so surprised.." Buffy said, her voice almost inaudible.
"Oh, Buffy." Willow said, leaning down and hugging her friend tightly. Buffy cried of her best friends arm. Xander put his arms around both of them from the front. Oz came over and put his arms around Willow and Buffy from the back. Giles sat with his head down. Oz was surprised to see tears coming from Willow. Willow pulled away from Xander and Buffy and Oz pulled her into a tight hug and let her cry on him. Buffy cried with Xander.
"Uh, Wesley, could you, uh.. help me with, ah, trying to find a spell." Giles asked.
"Ah, of course." Wesley replied, taking off his glasses and wiping his eye. "Uh, allergies." Giles nodded and led Wesley into his office. By now, Buffy had looked up with hope in her eyes.
"Please, Giles. You have to.. try." She said. Giles stopped and turned.
"I'll try my best." He gave her a reassuring nod and proceeding into the office.
Willow and Oz sat quietly around the table with Xander and Buffy on the other side. Cordelia strutted in, holding two books and sat down.
"Hey.. where's Wesley?" She asked, nobody said anything or even looked at her. Buffy had a dazed stare and Willow had her head in her hands, Oz with his hand on her back, whispering things to her. Xander stared down and fidgeted with his hands. "Uh, hello..?"
"Cordy, this isn't a good time for Wesley scopping, here." Xander said, a little snippy.
"What's wrong?" She asked. Nobody answered her.
"Angel's dead. I killed him." Buffy whispered, controlling her tears now.
"Again?!" Cordelia threw her arms up. "God, when is that boy ever gonna learn that turning evil is bad!"
"He wasn't evil." Buffy whispered back, now looking at her for her total insensitivity.
"Oh, God, Buffy. What happened?" Cordelia asked, a little more thoughtfulness in her voice.
"Uh.. I thought he was.. a.. well, an EVIL vampire.. it was a mistake." Buffy said, leaning up from the chair and resting her face in the palms up her hands. Willow looked up.
"I'm so sorry, Buffy." She stood up. "But.. this isn't over.. Angel's coming back." She walked off into the office with a determined look on her face. She searched madly through books and handed everyone a book of spells. "Look for vampire spells.. restoration spells.. anything you can find helpful to us."
The Scoobies searched and searched until sunrise. But, nothing. Buffy slammed her book shut and through it on the ground, fed up with everything.
"Buffy.. careful with that.." Giles said, not thinking.
"God! Don't you people UNDERSTAND?!" Buffy sobbed. "Angel -- is -- DEAD! He's not coming back. WHO are we trying to kid?! He's.. just, he's gone." Her lip quivered and she looked down then back up and shook her head, raised her eyebrows. "Angel's gone." She looked at the door, hoping Angel would just come walking right through them and hold her. She realized she was holding her breath and let it out.
The others didn't want to admit it. They didn't want to let those two words wash over their brains.
But, it was the truth.
It was all the truth. He was gone.. he was never coming back.