A/N:
This is based off a dream. It's really weird. That said, please enjoy.
Boruto smirked. Getting to the headmaster's office was too easy. Dad should've known better than to use such a predictable password as "Ichiraku Ramen". The door swung open and Boruto barged in ready to make an even greater mess of the already cluttered office. It served Dad right for not paying enough attention to him. Being headmaster of Hogwarts kept him busy but that was no excuse! Oh, he was totally gonna get him back for ignoring him. Looking around, Boruto marched over to the pot of glowing liquid in the corner. That looked like it would make a mess. Grinning, he grabbed the edge of the cauldron and tried to pull it over. But to his dismay, it wouldn't budge. He pouted, hearing his father's words in his ears. "You'd be strong enough to do it if you ever trained once in a while Boruto." Hmph. Boruto thought. I'll show you dad! And with that he grabbed the pot with both hands and pulled. Ung! He grunted. He pulled with all his weight. Then he pushed. Maybe if he tried to get some momentum he could push it over. Boruto took a few steps back, rolling up the sleeves of his robe and lunged at the cauldron. Then, as if sucked by some magic, Boruto fell in, pulled into the pensive and fell down into his father's memories.
The world swirled and Boruto found himself in an old shack of a country house, staring at a younger version of his father.
"Who are you?" Naruto asked.
"Dad? It's me," Boruto began, before a large man walked right through him.
"My name is Iruka Hagrid." The man answered. "And you are a ninja, Potter."
Naruto scratched his head. "You've got to be kidding. I've heard of ninja mailmen, but ninja potters? What do ninja need pots for?"
"Ninja potters don't exist, you moron!" Hagrid yelled. "You, Naruto Potter, son of Minato Potter and Lily Uzumaki, are a ninja!"
Nauto stepped back. "No, that can't be right." He stammered. "The villagers always told me that my parents were killed by ninja."
Colors churned again and Boruto found himself in yet another memory, this time on the Hogwarts express.
"Has anyone seen my turtle?" a funny looking boy with a bowl cut asked. He frantically searched and bumped into Naruto. "Oh, I am so sorry. My name is Lee Longbottom. Have you seen my turtle?"
Naruto shook his head and the boy moved on. "I wonder if anyone here can preform jutsu." Naruto wondered aloud.
At the sound of 'jutsu' Lee's head popped up. "Oh! Oh! I do!" he yelled. Lee put his hands together, bent his middle fingers and turned his hands so that there was a finger sticking out of each side. "This genjutsu makes it look like I have a finger going through my hands!"
"That's not a genjutsu." A nasaly voice came from behind them. They turned to see a frizzy pink haired girl. "That's only a dumb trick." She pointed out. "My name is Hermione Haruno, by the way." She said.
"Well, Hermione," Lee bristled, "I'd like to see you do better. We're not even genin yet."
"That's all the more reason to start studying up." The pink haired ninja replied. "My parents are muggles, so I was very surprised to find out that I was a kunoichi. I didn't want to be left behind the other kids who were brought up with ninja relatives so I studied some medical jutsu over the summer." Hermione reached over and removed Naruto's glasses. She put her hands together to collect chakra and said, "This might hurt a bit."
"Wha- Ow!" Naruto yelled as Hermione did something to his eyes. Blinking, he realized that something was different about his vision. He didn't need glasses!
Hermione smiled. "Now you're only four eyes instead of six. Why don't you take off those silly goggles?" She snatched the pair off of Naruto's forehead before he could react.
"Hey! Give 'em back!" Naruto yelled, but then fell silent as he saw the looks on their faces. "What?"
"That scar on your forhead. Are you, are you really Naruto Potter?" Lee asked.
'Oh no.' Thought Naruto. 'Now they're going to hate me like the rest of the orphans.'
He was saved however, by the timely reappearance of Sasuke Weasly. "Hey. Mudblood. Get out of my seat." He ordered. Lee and Hermione looked aghast. Naruto had no idea what was going on.
"How dare you insult her like that!" Lee yelled.
"Stop it, Lee," Hermione urged.
Lee would not stop. "She's going to sit wherever she wants!"
Sasuke glared at the bunch. "Fine," he said. "I wouldn't want to sit in any seat dirtied by a mudblood anyway. Let's get out of here Potter." Sasuke moved to go but noticed that Naruto wasn't moving. "Or not. I don't care." He added and then left.
"What was his problem?" Hermione asked.
"And what's a mudblood?" Naruto added.
Lee shook his head. "It's a derogatory term for someone of a background that is not fully ninja. My grandmother always forbade me from saying it. Sasuke is from the famed Weasly clan who were very proud of their pure bloodline. They were known for their supreme kekke genkai, the sharingan hair. When it is activated, the Weasly becomes a ginger and is able to steal their oponent's soul."
"What do you mean they 'were' known for it?" Hermione asked.
"Well," Lee whispered, "The Weaslys were all brutally murdered about five years ago, by Ron's older brother Itachi."
"Five years ago," Hermione exclaimed. "He would've been six years old then. No wonder he's so messed up."
"Yeah," Naruto said. "And no wonder his older brother killed them for getting such a stupid name. Weasel Weasly? At least I'm just Fishcake Potter."
Boruto's vision swam and he was next transported to the DADA classroom, where a sickly Inuzuka man was teaching a lesson. Reamus, he thought his father had called him. "I'm going to cast a bogart genjutsu on you so that you can practice the counter." The man explained. "The bogart will show you your greatest fear, so to counter it you must think of something funny and say Ridikulus."
Boruto boredly watched the class progress as everyone so far had pretty normal fears, until of course, Lee Longbottom. His bogart seemed to flicker between Anko Snape, and a horrific sight of a man with huge eyebrows wearing a green leopard print leotard and fluffy skirt. Wait, Lee's grandmother was Might Gai?!
Boruto was never so relieved when the memory switched to another one. This time it took place in the great hall, and he heard whispers and murmers around him of people talking about the new defense teacher. "Who is he, and what's up with his eye?" Naruto asked.
"H-his n-n-name is Aoba M-Moody." A timid voice replied.
Boruto turned and was shocked to see it was his mother!
"Huh? Hinata," Naruto asked. "How do you know this stuff?"
The shy girl blushed and looked down. "H-he's an ex hunter-nin, known f-for his s-stolen byakugan."
"What!" Naruto cried in outrage, as the world faded again.
The next memory Boruto saw seemed to take place next to a cliff where his father stood next to a dog-eared man. "Hey! That's no way to talk to your godfather. And besides, I'm no ordinary ninja, I'm the legendary sanin, Sirius of the Toads!" The dog-eared man replied.
"Yeah, whatever." Naruto said. "The only thing you are is 'seriously purvey'."
"Ah, shut it." The sanin ordered. "I have a duty to your parents to take care of you so I'm going to teach you the summoning jutsu. Hagrid tells me that you're learning to fly broomsticks in the academy. So, to summon your broomstick, you must make these hand signs, draw blood from your thumb, and say 'Accio broomstick!'"
Boruto screamed in fright as he saw his father get pushed off the cliff, only to summon his broom at the last moment and fly to safety.
The scene changed again and Boruto was in front of section 44 of the forbidden forest. "All right you maggots!" Shouted a lady with greasy purple hair. "My name is Anko Snape, and I'll be the proctor for this round of the tri-village exam!" The scene sped forward and Boruto gasped as he was faced with the tableau of frightened faces. He turned to see what they were staring at, only to see the dark lord Orochimort biting Sasuke Weasly!
"You will be my vessel!" Orochimort cackled evilly. "I've always wanted to be ginger!"
'So that's how uncle Sasuke got turned into a Horcrux.' Boruto thought, just before he was bodily yanked from the pensive. He blinked as he once again found himself in his father's messy office, staring into the face of a pissed off headmaster.
"Uh, Dad, I can explain!" Buruto started, only to be interrupted by a shout of, "Detention, Boruto!"
The headmaster's son sighed.
A/N:
Again, this is based of a really weird dream I had, so don't judge. I guess you could call it crack, but when you're dreaming you don't really intend for anything to be funny. It just happens.