AN: This is a retelling of how Tomoo met Ryo and the relationship they had. The television series never thoroughly explained how long they shared each other's company or how they related to one another. It does contain end of series spoilers and is rated T for slight romance, but nothing explicit (it's actually quite chaste), and character death. If for any reason you don't like the Tomoo x Ryo pairing, now's your chance to hit the handy-dandy back button. All standard disclaimers apply.
The Death of Manaka Tomoo
Tomoo was alone only a month after his younger brother, Hideo, had been murdered. A week ago, at Hideo's funeral ceremony, his mother had collapsed and died in Tomoo's arms. The doctors said her heart had been weak, that the stress of the trial and the funeral had caused a fatal heart arrhythmia. In the end, Tomoo thought, it was just another way to say she had died from heart break.
There was no other family member to help Tomoo plan his mother's funeral or commute from the court house as the trial continued; his father had left so long ago he could no longer remember his face and all his other relatives were estranged.
Justice apparently held no empathy for those who were destroyed in its wake. Tomoo lacked motivation in everything that was not related to the trial. His school principal had left a message on his mother's voicemail saying that if he missed any more days he would fail his classes which was left unreturned. The only food left in the refrigerator was a few moldy vegetables and spoiled milk from the last time he had gone shopping for his mother.
The small apartment which had once been so warm (Home, Tomoo recalls half-heartedly), was now large and forlorn. Every sound he made seemed to echo throughout the rooms, as if to emphasize that he was only one there, the only one left. He thought of suicide, but in the end couldn't allow himself to leave the world without knowing that Hideo's murderer had paid retribution first.
On the last day of the trial, the prosecutor called to give Tomoo bad news.
"Manaka-san, I don't think we're going to be able to get a conviction." A sympathetic voice explained as Tomoo numbly gripped the handset. "The defense has made a very compelling case for reasonable self-defense."
"Hideo didn't do anything." Tomoo replied as his fist clenched.
"With all respect we don't know that. We only have one independent witness who testified that Hideo was murdered and three others who say that it was self-defense. Simply put, there's no evidence." The prosecutor explained.
"Is that the extent of your so-called justice?" He replied bitterly. The dial tone rings in his ears long after he hangs up.
Blood drips from the crescent shaped cuts in his palm, caused by his finger nails biting into soft flesh as he clenches his fist tighter. The sound of the phone clattering on the floor and the slamming of the door only momentarily break the uneasily silence of the apartment as Tomoo leaves.
Tomoo boards the train in a haze. He knows that there are other people standing beside him, but he feels like he's riding a vacant train to hell. Hideo's death has simultaneously isolated and sheltered him from the outside world. He watches the city pass by in an indecipherable blur of color. It's raining. The wet trails left by the rain drops which splatter on the window are indistinguishable from the reflection of the tracks left by the tears falling from his eyes.
The train moves both more slowly and more quickly than usual, so he almost misses his stop. The court house is a long walk away from the train station, but Tomoo steps outside without care. Within minutes he's drenched, his dirty school uniform clinging uncomfortably to his skin.
He stands outside the courthouse for hours, not knowing what he is doing or what he is waiting for. Suddenly two elderly men walk through the clear glass doors, Serizawa Eisaku and his lawyer, followed by a morose boy, Serizawa Naoto. The men laugh and seem to congratulate each other as the boy stands still and silent behind them. They are all Hideo and his mother's murderers.
As Tomoo studies their faces something in him breaks. The overwhelming sadness which threatened to consume him everyday is replaced with resolve and anger so cold that Tomoo feels as if he's being burned alive from the inside. Gasping in pain at the sudden intensity of his emotions, he turns away from the injustice of it all and runs. He runs all the way back to the empty apartment he can no longer call home.
As Tomoo slowly climbs up the worn stairs to the apartment, someone calls out to him. "Manaka-kun!" Tomoo turns to look into the face of their middle-aged landlord.
"Yes?" Tomoo's hand rests lightly on the rusted hand rail.
"Well, it's about this month's rent. I know you and your mother are going through a terrible time, but I already gave an extension on last month's payment." The landlord blushes and glances downward, as if embarrassed by his own insensitivity.
"Last month's?" Tomoo asks with no inflection.
"Your mother said that she had wanted to buy something special for your brother's birthday, but she couldn't afford it and the rent. So I told her she didn't have to pay me at the end of the month, but that she would owe me." It was obvious that the landlord had not yet been told of his mother's recent death.
"Ahh." Tomoo nods vaguely in agreement. He turns and continues up the stairs, ignoring the bewildered landlord.
"I'll move out tomorrow." Tomoo calls out as he quietly shuts the apartment door behind him.
Tomoo visits Serizawa's house that night. He had looked up Serizawa Naoto's home address on the internet, along with some other things. He didn't know yet the means by which Hideo's justice would be delivered, but he wanted his prey to know that he was watching.
He walked up a short clean walk way and knocked on the door. The Serizawa house wasn't as opulent as Tomoo had imagined it would be, but it was obviously well taken care of. What would he do if Serizawa Naoto opened it, he wondered? But the door opened to reveal Serizawa Eisaku, the father, his expression blank and uninterested as he looked at the nondescript boy that stood on his doorstep.
What kind of world was it that allowed two innocents to die while their murderers lived, thought Tomoo, as he studied the man's face? Something dark inside him whispered back, "Not the world I want to live in." Tomoo couldn't commit suicide. That left only one option: the world must change.
He watched Eisaku's face as he gave him his warning; finding perverted pleasure in the way his tough businessman persona was so unnerved by only a boy in jeans and a baseball cap.
Despite being in the last year of high school Tomoo dropped out and started doing odd jobs around town to pick up some cash under the table. He couldn't afford rent though. So on warm nights he slept on park benches and on cold ones he inconspicuously lounged in manga cafes, occasionally taking advantage of their shower rooms and computers to do research on Serizawa Naoto.
Two weeks after leaving his apartment he had already staked out his favorite park bench. It was on the top of a grassy hill, out in the open without protection from the cold or rain, but Tomoo had found that physical discomfort no longer seemed to affect him much anymore. So he took the bench which no one else wanted, because it was solitary, and when he lay on his back he had an unobstructed view of the night sky. He would lay there for hours, unable to sleep because of the restless force which incessantly drove him, watching stars as they twinkled against the blackness of space.
One night as he made his way up the grassy hill he saw the silhouette of someone sitting on his bench, their head tilted back as if studying the heavens. Curious, he quietly made his way closer. The anonymous person was a young man about his age, maybe a little older, with light brown hair. His clothes seemed worn, but it was the unreadable expression on his face which attracted Tomoo's attention.
To this day Tomoo does not know why he sat down next to him instead of walking away.
They sat together looking up at the stars in a pleasantly awkward silence until the other boy turned his face downward and said, "Hello, I'm Naruse Ryo." That's all Tomoo can remember of their first conversation, besides for Ryo's mischievous grin and warm brown eyes.
Half the time Tomoo doesn't know what he's doing anymore. He gave up love, friendship, human bonds, everything when Hideo and his mother died. But something about Ryo makes him want to reach out and feel the warmth and happiness that other normal people do, to live for the future instead of the past.
Ryo is a runaway. His mother and father, he explains once on an evening when they sit on the cement stairs in the middle of the park, were always fighting and being selfish, ignoring Ryo. But that wasn't why he had left.
"My older sister was born blind." Ryo sat on the step a few below Tomoo's. "My parents couldn't be bothered to look after 'a failure' so they abandoned her in an assisted living facility. They don't even go to visit her. I think the only reason they had me was because they wanted a child which could look after them when they get older." Ryo's hands are fists at his sides. He stands up as if he cannot contain his tension.
Tomoo doesn't say anything, because he now knows that words can't fix some things.
Ryo continues, "So I figured, why not ruin their own selfish plans by being selfish myself and runaway? If they want a perfect child it won't be me." Tomoo watches as tears roll down Ryo's cheeks and something inside him softens, his hand involuntarily rests on top of one of Ryo's clasped fists.
Ryo starts as he feels Tomoo's hand rest against his and before he can stop himself he turns and embraces him. Ryo has only known Manaka Tomoo for a few days, but there is something about him that feels comforting and protective. His parents ignored him except to berate him when he got bad grades or acted in ways they didn't like and his friends didn't know about his home life, but Tomoo listens and his quiet acceptance shows that if he doesn't understand at least he sympathizes. At times the expression on Tomoo's face is tragic, and Ryo is so starved to love and be loved that he can't stop himself from reaching out.
He feels Tomoo's entire body stiffen, but doesn't let go. This person, something inside Ryo says, together we can save each other. Slowly Ryo feels Tomoo relax and he almost gasps in surprise when he feels a gentle hand begin to soothingly brush through his hair.
"You know I'm not a good person, right?" Tomoo says gently.
"I can't turn back. I vowed revenge on someone who I can't forgive." Ryo looks up into Tomoo's dark eyes and sees the usual pain along with some other darker emotion that makes him shiver.
"If you're a bad person Tomoo, then the world is full of them." Ryo holds him tighter and they stand like that for a long time.
Tomoo and Ryo quickly become best friends. Ryo goes to school while working part-time, as Tomoo continues to work various small jobs. They both agree to pool their money so that Tomoo can work less and begin to study for college exams.
"I never planned to go to college after I graduated," Ryo smiles at Tomoo. "I might as well support your dream."
"Originally it was my brother's dream. He wanted to become a lawyer." It's the first time that Tomoo has said anything about his family.
"What happened to him?" Ryo cannot resist the urge to learn as much as he can about his mysterious friend.
"He died." Tomoo says tonelessly.
And just like that the conversation ends.
As they grow closer, Tomoo begins to smile again and Ryo develops a laugh so infectious that it dares the people around him not to join in. So Tomoo doesn't understand why he begins to feel pain whenever he looks at Ryo. It felt like being alone on a cold night and knowing a place where you can get warm, but not having the strength to move.
One clear night on the bench where he and Tomoo first met, Ryo lies with his head resting on Tomoo's lap as Tomoo's fingers unconsciously brush through Ryo's brown hair. Ryo looks up at Tomoo's inscrutable expression as he watches the full moon. He gently grabs Tomoo's hand in his own and Tomoo looks down inquiringly. Ryo ever so slowly lifts himself off the bench with his other hand. He stares straight into Tomoo's dark eyes and gives him a gentle kiss.
It is nothing more than the pressing together of flesh and the conveyance of emotion, no movement or heat. Ryo keeps his eyes open the entire time and sees the multitude of emotions fighting their way through Tomoo's eyes. After a long minute they draw back from each other, but he doesn't lie back down despite how uncomfortable his arm is becoming. Ryo is suddenly drawn into a desperate embrace. Surprised, he maneuvers himself in such a way to sit on Tomoo's lap. He feels the shoulder where Tomoo has hidden his face grow damp with tears.
"I cannot love you." Tomoo says brokenly.
"Why not?" In a strange parallel of that night only a few weeks ago, Ryo begins to card his hand soothingly through Tomoo's soft hair.
"If I did, I don't think I would be able follow through with my revenge. I would not be able to act without feeling." Tomoo explains.
They are both silent for a moment before Ryo comes to a decision.
"Maybe you can't love me now. But once your revenge is complete, maybe we could be together then. Let me help you."
Ryo has to work late one night. When he finishes up he steps outside only to find it so black he can hardly see and raining so hard that seems as if someone has upended a bucket in the sky. He sighs when he thinks of walking all the way to the cafe where he had arranged to meet Tomoo without a jacket or umbrella. Just as he's about to step out from under the awning of his shop, he sees a familiar figure emerge from the storm, in his hand a red umbrella and on his face an unusual smile.
"I thought you could use an umbrella." Tomoo says as he holds the umbrella out toward Ryo, allowing himself to be soaked.
"You idiot." Ryo sighs as he pushes Tomoo's hand back. Tomoo looks momentarily confused and slightly hurt, before Ryo steps under the umbrella with him.
"We'll share it." Their hands rest on top of each others as they both clutch the umbrella handle.
As they walk the wind picks up and the rain drives down so hard it hurts. Not five minutes later their umbrella turns inside out effectively ruining any of the minimal protection it provided. Ryo makes a split second decision.
"Come on." The umbrella drops and is blown away into the night as Ryo grabs Tomoo's wrist and drags him in a new direction.
"Where are we going?" Tomoo shouts over the sounds of what Ryo suspects is a typhoon.
"A construction site where we can take shelter, I used play there as a child." Ryo yells back.
They run. Ryo sighs in relief when they turn a corner and step into the familiar lot. He leads a reluctant Tomoo further inside, trying to find shelter as quickly as possible.
Tomoo, unfamiliar with the site, doesn't see the dip in the cement which Ryo had subconsciously avoided. He trips, hard, and falls. He feels Ryo's warm grip disappear. Tomoo hears a creaking noise and a sudden snap. He looks up to see Ryo far ahead of him, not aware that he has left Tomoo behind. Tomoo watches in sheer terror as a bunch of steel frames, which had been held up by a now broken rope, fall towards Ryo.
"Ryo!" or at least Tomoo thinks he yells Ryo's name. He might have just screamed. Ryo can't hear him over the wind. The steel frames hit him and he falls to the side as he's covered in tons of steel. Everything becomes silent. Tomoo pushes himself off the ground and skids to his knees at Ryo's side. His hand shakily reaches out to grasp Ryo's hand, the only part of him which isn't buried. For less than a second it feels like Ryo squeezes back. Tomoo feels as if a demon has possessed him. He lifts steel frames, which usually require two construction men to carry, off of Ryo with a strength that seems inhuman.
The entire time he calls Ryo's name, desperate to hear him say anything. The tears and rain drops on his face are indistinguishable once more, as blood slowly puddles around his feet. Ryo doesn't reply.
When the last steel frame is removed he can't look at Ryo's face. He kneels by his side instead, holding Ryo's now cold hand to his forehead. When he does find the courage to glimpse at Ryo's face he quickly looks away and vomits as if he was poisoned.
Tomoo stands next to Ryo's body all night long, oblivious to the rain, wind and cold. Three months after Hideo's death he is homeless, without family, and now that Ryo was dead, utterly alone. It is the last straw. Something which Ryo had slowly been repairing snaps inside of him. Tomoo can no longer feel doubt or regret about his plans for revenge. There is now only a cold vicious wrath.
"Let me help you." Ryo's voice echoes in his thoughts.
He feels nothing as he kneels a final time next to Ryo and switches their ID cards. Manaka Tomoo takes his last breath looking down at the mangled face of his last true friend. In Tomoo's place now stands Naruse Ryo, wrathful as an avenging angel and callus as the devil. He slips the ID card into his pocket and waits for someone to find him.
End of Life.
Beginning of Revenge.